NORMAN - LE RETARD

Vous êtes systématiquement en retard à vos rendez-vous ? Moi aussi...

Vidéo pour mon blog: http://normanfaitdesvideos.com

La page facebook c'est: http://www.facebook.com/normanfaitdesvideos (pour organiser le match de foot)

Whenever I have to go somewhere

there's one thing you can count on

I'll always be there on time.

FALSE

Yeah, I have to admit it

I'm always late

It's really annoying, I'm always late

And I don't do it on purpose

People have a go at me

If I'm always late, it's because of a guy

The guy who invented the snooze for five minutes button on alarm clocks

Have you heard of that button?

Fuck!

There's no point to the button either

You've slept for eight hours

You don't need another 5 minutes

Sorry, I didn't understood what you just said

It's because I'm bilingual

For bilingual people, the button is called "snooze"

Ah! "Snooze". Amazing.

There's another reason why I'm often late.

The very moment I need to leave

I always feel the need to do something that I'd never normally think of doing

Right, I'm off

The table leg's all wonky

I need to repair it

OK. It's done.

I can go.

At those times, I'm all stressed cos I know I need to set off

I start doing weird stuff

Did I switch off the light in the bathroom?

I never manage to set off relaxed

Chilled out, without a worry in the world.

I need to be stressed and panicked to actually set off.

I need adrenaline.

There's something I don't get

When you get where you're going

You've run, you've sweated, you're soaked through

you were stressed and panicked

You've given it everything you've got. You can't take another step.

You get to the person you're meeting and you say "I'm here"

and they have a go at you.

In that kind of situation, you deserve a medal

The worst thing is at work. I always get bollocked.

At work, you're not allowed to be late.

Even a few seconds, it's just not on.

In your boss's head, it's "NO".

I've tried all the excuses in the world

but it never works

Sorry, it's the "snooze" button.

I don't know if you've noticed

when girls come up with an excuse,

it always works

There excuses are crap

Sorry, this morning, I wasn't feeling very well.

This morning, you weren't feeling very well

Erm, that's not a bad excuse

Let's forgot about it

You can come in

That's just great. "Not very well"

My excuses never work

I use white lies

You don't lie exactly, but at the same time, you try it on a bit

You step out the door and you send a text

to your friend saying, I'll soon be there, I'm on my way

That's called a white lie

There are some people that think you do it on purpose

to show off

as if it was cool

No, it's not cool

I'm really late, I lost track of time.

I can't read the time

You're sacked

Get lost.

No, I was just having a laugh

You're fired

Get out of here now

I'm doing the gun sign, so get out of here

Now, I'm an adult

I've finally worked out that to be on time

it's not complicated

all you need is a bit of courage

I saw that over 30,000 of you were following my Facebook page

I thought that we could fill a football stadium

and we could have a match.