1 00:00:03,415 --> 00:00:04,585 Whenever I have to go somewhere 2 00:00:04,585 --> 00:00:06,622 there's one thing you can count on 3 00:00:06,622 --> 00:00:08,427 I'll always be there on time. 4 00:00:08,427 --> 00:00:09,464 FALSE 5 00:00:09,464 --> 00:00:10,600 Yeah, I have to admit it 6 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,174 I'm always late 7 00:00:13,174 --> 00:00:17,091 It's really annoying, I'm always late 8 00:00:17,091 --> 00:00:18,078 And I don't do it on purpose 9 00:00:18,078 --> 00:00:19,297 People have a go at me 10 00:00:19,297 --> 00:00:21,502 If I'm always late, it's because of a guy 11 00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:24,778 The guy who invented the snooze for five minutes button on alarm clocks 12 00:00:24,778 --> 00:00:31,752 Have you heard of that button? 13 00:00:31,752 --> 00:00:34,544 Fuck! 14 00:00:34,544 --> 00:00:36,383 There's no point to the button either 15 00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:37,520 You've slept for eight hours 16 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,291 You don't need another 5 minutes 17 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:41,494 Sorry, I didn't understood what you just said 18 00:00:41,494 --> 00:00:43,204 It's because I'm bilingual 19 00:00:43,204 --> 00:00:45,913 For bilingual people, the button is called "snooze" 20 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:49,525 Ah! "Snooze". Amazing. 21 00:00:49,525 --> 00:00:51,966 There's another reason why I'm often late. 22 00:00:51,966 --> 00:00:53,302 The very moment I need to leave 23 00:00:53,302 --> 00:00:57,747 I always feel the need to do something that I'd never normally think of doing 24 00:00:57,747 --> 00:01:00,257 Right, I'm off 25 00:01:00,257 --> 00:01:02,200 The table leg's all wonky 26 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:14,479 I need to repair it 27 00:01:14,479 --> 00:01:15,973 OK. It's done. 28 00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:19,156 I can go. 29 00:01:19,156 --> 00:01:21,664 At those times, I'm all stressed cos I know I need to set off 30 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,999 I start doing weird stuff 31 00:01:23,999 --> 00:01:40,515 Did I switch off the light in the bathroom? 32 00:01:40,515 --> 00:01:41,832 I never manage to set off relaxed 33 00:01:41,832 --> 00:01:44,034 Chilled out, without a worry in the world. 34 00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:48,040 I need to be stressed and panicked to actually set off. 35 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:53,700 I need adrenaline. 36 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:54,959 There's something I don't get 37 00:01:54,959 --> 00:01:57,539 When you get where you're going 38 00:01:57,539 --> 00:01:59,744 You've run, you've sweated, you're soaked through 39 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,850 you were stressed and panicked 40 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:04,763 You've given it everything you've got. You can't take another step. 41 00:02:04,763 --> 00:02:07,144 You get to the person you're meeting and you say "I'm here" 42 00:02:07,144 --> 00:02:09,493 and they have a go at you. 43 00:02:09,493 --> 00:02:14,959 In that kind of situation, you deserve a medal 44 00:02:22,494 --> 00:02:25,293 The worst thing is at work. I always get bollocked. 45 00:02:25,293 --> 00:02:27,746 At work, you're not allowed to be late. 46 00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:31,209 Even a few seconds, it's just not on. 47 00:02:31,209 --> 00:02:34,558 In your boss's head, it's "NO". 48 00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:36,414 I've tried all the excuses in the world 49 00:02:36,414 --> 00:02:38,534 but it never works 50 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:40,473 Sorry, it's the "snooze" button. 51 00:02:42,888 --> 00:02:44,419 I don't know if you've noticed 52 00:02:44,419 --> 00:02:46,461 when girls come up with an excuse, 53 00:02:46,461 --> 00:02:48,057 it always works 54 00:02:48,797 --> 00:02:51,043 There excuses are crap 55 00:02:52,003 --> 00:02:55,361 Sorry, this morning, I wasn't feeling very well. 56 00:02:55,361 --> 00:02:57,562 This morning, you weren't feeling very well 57 00:02:57,562 --> 00:02:58,964 Erm, that's not a bad excuse 58 00:02:58,964 --> 00:03:00,667 Let's forgot about it 59 00:03:01,369 --> 00:03:02,406 You can come in 60 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,279 That's just great. "Not very well" 61 00:03:04,279 --> 00:03:06,384 My excuses never work 62 00:03:06,476 --> 00:03:08,474 I use white lies 63 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,036 You don't lie exactly, but at the same time, you try it on a bit 64 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:18,354 You step out the door and you send a text 65 00:03:18,354 --> 00:03:20,965 to your friend saying, I'll soon be there, I'm on my way 66 00:03:20,965 --> 00:03:22,536 That's called a white lie 67 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:22,537 There are some people that think you do it on purpose 68 00:03:25,947 --> 00:03:27,384 to show off 69 00:03:36,682 --> 00:03:38,024 as if it was cool 70 00:03:38,024 --> 00:03:39,593 No, it's not cool 71 00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:49,530 I'm really late, I lost track of time. 72 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,730 I can't read the time 73 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,631 You're sacked 74 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,302 Get lost. 75 00:03:53,302 --> 00:03:55,010 No, I was just having a laugh 76 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:56,712 You're fired 77 00:03:56,712 --> 00:03:58,999 Get out of here now 78 00:03:58,999 --> 00:04:04,837 I'm doing the gun sign, so get out of here 79 00:04:04,837 --> 00:04:06,677 Now, I'm an adult 80 00:04:06,677 --> 00:04:10,256 I've finally worked out that to be on time 81 00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:11,869 it's not complicated 82 00:04:11,869 --> 00:04:21,753 all you need is a bit of courage 83 00:04:21,753 --> 00:04:24,582 I saw that over 30,000 of you were following my Facebook page 84 00:04:24,582 --> 00:04:29,518 I thought that we could fill a football stadium 85 00:04:29,518 --> 99:59:59,999 and we could have a match.