Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them
-
0:01 - 0:03I remember when I first found out
-
0:03 - 0:05I was going to speak at a TED conference.
-
0:05 - 0:07I ran across the hall
to one of my classrooms -
0:07 - 0:08to inform my students.
-
0:09 - 0:10"Guess what, guys?
-
0:10 - 0:12I've been asked to give a TED Talk."
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0:12 - 0:14The reaction wasn't one I quite expected.
-
0:14 - 0:15The whole room went silent.
-
0:17 - 0:20"A TED Talk? You mean, like the one
you made us watch on grit? -
0:20 - 0:24Or the one with the scientist that did
this really awesome thing with robots?" -
0:24 - 0:25Muhammad asked.
-
0:25 - 0:26"Yes, just like that."
-
0:27 - 0:30"But Coach, those people
are really important and smart." -
0:30 - 0:32(Laughter)
-
0:32 - 0:34"I know that."
-
0:35 - 0:39"But Coach, why are you speaking?
You hate public speaking." -
0:39 - 0:41"I do," I admitted,
-
0:42 - 0:46"But it's important that I speak about us,
that I speak about your journeys, -
0:46 - 0:47about my journey.
-
0:47 - 0:48People need to know."
-
0:49 - 0:52The students at the all-refugee
school that I founded -
0:52 - 0:54decided to end with some
words of encouragement. -
0:54 - 0:56"Cool! It better be good, Coach."
-
0:56 - 0:59(Laughter)
-
0:59 - 1:02There are 65.3 million people
who have been forcibly displaced -
1:02 - 1:05from their homes because
of war or persecution. -
1:06 - 1:09The largest number,
11 million, are from Syria. -
1:10 - 1:1433,952 people flee their homes daily.
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1:17 - 1:20The vast majority remain in refugee camps,
-
1:20 - 1:24whose conditions cannot be defined
as humane under anyone's definition. -
1:25 - 1:29We are participating
in the degradation of humans. -
1:33 - 1:35Never have we had numbers this high.
-
1:35 - 1:38This is the highest number
of refugees since World War II. -
1:38 - 1:41Now, let me tell you why this issue
is so important to me. -
1:42 - 1:45I am an Arab. I am an immigrant.
-
1:46 - 1:47I am a Muslim.
-
1:48 - 1:52I've also spent the last 12 years
of my life working with refugees. -
1:52 - 1:53Oh -- and I'm also gay.
-
1:53 - 1:55It makes me really popular these days.
-
1:55 - 1:57(Laughter)
-
1:57 - 1:59But I am the daughter of a refugee.
-
2:00 - 2:05My grandmother fled Syria in 1964
during the first Assad regime. -
2:05 - 2:08She was three months pregnant
when she packed up a suitcase, -
2:08 - 2:11piled in her five children
and drove to neighboring Jordan, -
2:11 - 2:14not knowing what the future held
for her and her family. -
2:14 - 2:18My grandfather decided to stay,
not believing it was that bad. -
2:19 - 2:22He followed her a month later,
after his brothers were tortured -
2:22 - 2:24and his factory was taken over
by the government. -
2:25 - 2:27They rebuilt their lives
starting from scratch -
2:27 - 2:31and eventually became independently
wealthy Jordanian citizens. -
2:32 - 2:34I was born in Jordan 11 years later.
-
2:35 - 2:39It was really important to my grandmother
for us to know our history -
2:39 - 2:40and our journey.
-
2:41 - 2:44I was eight years old when she took me
to visit my first refugee camp. -
2:45 - 2:46I didn't understand why.
-
2:47 - 2:49I didn't know why
it was so important to her -
2:49 - 2:50for us to go.
-
2:50 - 2:53I remember walking into the camp
holding her hand, -
2:53 - 2:55and her saying, "Go play with the kids,"
-
2:55 - 2:58while she visited
with the women in the camp. -
2:59 - 3:00I didn't want to.
-
3:00 - 3:01These kids weren't like me.
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3:01 - 3:03They were poor. They lived in a camp.
-
3:03 - 3:04I refused.
-
3:04 - 3:07She knelt down beside me
and firmly said, "Go. -
3:07 - 3:10And don't come back until you've played.
-
3:10 - 3:12Don't ever think people are beneath you
-
3:12 - 3:14or that you have nothing
to learn from others." -
3:15 - 3:16I reluctantly went.
-
3:16 - 3:18I never wanted to disappoint
my grandmother. -
3:19 - 3:21I returned a few hours later,
-
3:21 - 3:26having spent some time playing soccer
with the kids in the camp. -
3:26 - 3:27We walked out of the camp,
-
3:27 - 3:30and I was excitedly telling her
what a great time I had -
3:30 - 3:32and how fantastic the kids were.
-
3:33 - 3:36"Haram!" I said in Arabic. "Poor them."
-
3:37 - 3:40"Haram on us," she said,
using the word's different meaning, -
3:40 - 3:41that we were sinning.
-
3:42 - 3:44"Don't feel sorry for them;
believe in them." -
3:46 - 3:50It wasn't until I left my country
of origin for the United States -
3:50 - 3:52that I realized the impact of her words.
-
3:53 - 3:57After my college graduation, I applied for
and was granted political asylum, -
3:57 - 3:59based on being a member of a social group.
-
4:00 - 4:01Some people may not realize this,
-
4:01 - 4:05but you can still get the death penalty
in some countries for being gay. -
4:07 - 4:09I had to give up my Jordanian citizenship.
-
4:09 - 4:12That was the hardest decision
I've ever had to make, -
4:12 - 4:13but I had no other choice.
-
4:17 - 4:19The point is,
-
4:20 - 4:23when you find yourself choosing
between home and survival, -
4:23 - 4:25the question "Where are you from?"
becomes very loaded. -
4:27 - 4:30A Syrian woman who I recently met
at a refugee camp in Greece -
4:30 - 4:31articulated it best,
-
4:31 - 4:35when she recalled the exact moment
she realized she had to flee Aleppo. -
4:35 - 4:38"I looked out the window
and there was nothing. -
4:38 - 4:39It was all rubble.
-
4:40 - 4:43There were no stores, no streets,
no schools. Everything was gone. -
4:44 - 4:46I had been in my apartment for months,
-
4:46 - 4:49listening to bombs drop
and watching people die. -
4:50 - 4:52But I always thought it would get better,
-
4:53 - 4:55that no one could force me to leave,
-
4:55 - 4:57no one could take my home away from me.
-
4:58 - 5:01And I don't know why it was that morning,
but when I looked outside, -
5:01 - 5:04I realized if I didn't leave,
my three young children would die. -
5:04 - 5:06And so we left.
-
5:06 - 5:09We left because we had to,
not because we wanted to. -
5:09 - 5:10There was no choice," she said.
-
5:12 - 5:14It's kind of hard to believe
that you belong -
5:14 - 5:16when you don't have a home,
-
5:16 - 5:20when your country of origin rejects you
because of fear or persecution, -
5:20 - 5:24or the city that you grew up in
is completely destroyed. -
5:25 - 5:27I didn't feel like I had a home.
-
5:27 - 5:29I was no longer a Jordanian citizen,
-
5:29 - 5:31but I wasn't American, either.
-
5:32 - 5:33I felt a kind of loneliness
-
5:33 - 5:36that is still hard
to put into words today. -
5:37 - 5:40After college, I desperately needed
to find a place to call home. -
5:41 - 5:42I bounced around from state to state
-
5:42 - 5:45and eventually ended up in North Carolina.
-
5:45 - 5:47Kindhearted people who felt sorry for me
-
5:47 - 5:49offered to pay rent
-
5:49 - 5:53or buy me a meal or a suit
for my new interview. -
5:53 - 5:56It just made me feel
more isolated and incapable. -
5:56 - 5:58It wasn't until I met Miss Sarah,
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5:58 - 6:02a Southern Baptist who took me in
at my lowest and gave me a job, -
6:02 - 6:04that I started to believe in myself.
-
6:05 - 6:08Miss Sarah owned a diner
in the mountains of North Carolina. -
6:10 - 6:12I assumed, because
of my privileged upbringing -
6:12 - 6:14and my Seven Sister education,
-
6:14 - 6:16that she would ask me
to manage the restaurant. -
6:16 - 6:17I was wrong.
-
6:18 - 6:20I started off washing dishes,
-
6:20 - 6:22cleaning toilets and working the grill.
-
6:22 - 6:25I was humbled; I was shown
the value of hard work. -
6:25 - 6:28But most importantly,
I felt valued and embraced. -
6:29 - 6:31I celebrated Christmas with her family,
-
6:31 - 6:33and she attempted to observe
Ramadan with me. -
6:34 - 6:37I remember being very nervous
about coming out to her -- -
6:37 - 6:39after all, she was a Southern Baptist.
-
6:39 - 6:40I sat on the couch next to her
-
6:40 - 6:43and I said, "Miss Sarah,
you know that I'm gay." -
6:43 - 6:45Her response is one
that I will never forget. -
6:46 - 6:48"That's fine, honey.
Just don't be a slut." -
6:48 - 6:51(Laughter)
-
6:51 - 6:54(Applause)
-
6:54 - 7:00I eventually moved to Atlanta,
still trying to find my home. -
7:00 - 7:03My journey took a strange turn
three years later, -
7:03 - 7:06after I met a group of refugee kids
playing soccer outside. -
7:06 - 7:09I'd made a wrong turn
into this apartment complex, -
7:09 - 7:11and I saw these kids
outside playing soccer. -
7:11 - 7:14They were playing barefoot
with a raggedy soccer ball -
7:14 - 7:16and rocks set up as goals.
-
7:16 - 7:17I watched them for about an hour,
-
7:17 - 7:19and after that I was smiling.
-
7:19 - 7:21The boys reminded me of home.
-
7:21 - 7:24They reminded me of the way
I grew up playing soccer -
7:24 - 7:26in the streets of Jordan,
with my brothers and cousins. -
7:28 - 7:30I eventually joined their game.
-
7:30 - 7:33They were a little skeptical
about letting me join it, -
7:33 - 7:35because according to them,
girls don't know how to play. -
7:35 - 7:37But obviously I did.
-
7:37 - 7:39I asked them if they had
ever played on a team. -
7:39 - 7:41They said they hadn't,
but that they would love to. -
7:42 - 7:45I gradually won them over,
and we formed our first team. -
7:46 - 7:51This group of kids would give me
a crash course in refugees, poverty -
7:52 - 7:53and humanity.
-
7:54 - 7:58Three brothers from Afghanistan --
Roohullah, Noorullah and Zabiullah -- -
7:58 - 8:00played a major role in that.
-
8:00 - 8:04I showed up late to practice one day
to find the field completely deserted. -
8:04 - 8:05I was really worried.
-
8:05 - 8:07My team loved to practice.
-
8:07 - 8:09It wasn't like them to miss practice.
-
8:09 - 8:13I got out of my car, and two kids
ran out from behind a dumpster, -
8:13 - 8:14waving their hands frantically.
-
8:15 - 8:17"Coach, Rooh got beat up. He got jumped.
-
8:17 - 8:19There was blood everywhere."
-
8:19 - 8:21"What do you mean?
What do you mean he got beat up?" -
8:21 - 8:23"These bad kids came
and beat him up, Coach. -
8:23 - 8:26Everybody left. They were all scared."
-
8:26 - 8:28We hopped into my car
and drove over to Rooh's apartment. -
8:28 - 8:31I knocked on the door, and Noor opened it.
-
8:32 - 8:34"Where's Rooh? I need
to talk to him, see if he's OK." -
8:34 - 8:37"He's in his room, Coach.
He's refusing to come out." -
8:37 - 8:38I knocked on the door.
-
8:39 - 8:41"Rooh, come on out. I need to talk to you.
-
8:41 - 8:44I need to see if you're OK
or if we need to go to the hospital." -
8:44 - 8:45He came out.
-
8:45 - 8:47He had a big gash on his head,
a split lip, -
8:48 - 8:50and he was physically shaken.
-
8:51 - 8:52I was looking at him,
-
8:52 - 8:54and I asked the boys
to call for their mom, -
8:54 - 8:57because I needed to go
to the hospital with him. -
8:57 - 8:58They called for their mom.
-
8:59 - 9:00She came out.
-
9:00 - 9:04I had my back turned to her,
and she started screaming in Farsi. -
9:05 - 9:07The boys fell to the ground laughing.
-
9:07 - 9:08I was very confused,
-
9:08 - 9:10because there was nothing
funny about this. -
9:10 - 9:12They explained to me that she said,
-
9:12 - 9:15"You told me your coach
was a Muslim and a woman." -
9:15 - 9:18From behind, I didn't appear
to be either to her. -
9:18 - 9:21(Laughter)
-
9:21 - 9:24"I am Muslim," I said, turning to her.
-
9:24 - 9:25"Ašhadu ʾan lā ʾilāha ʾilla (A)llāh,"
-
9:26 - 9:28reciting the Muslim declaration of faith.
-
9:29 - 9:30Confused,
-
9:31 - 9:33and perhaps maybe a little bit reassured,
-
9:33 - 9:34she realized that yes,
-
9:34 - 9:38I, this American-acting,
shorts-wearing, non-veiled woman, -
9:38 - 9:39was indeed a Muslim.
-
9:40 - 9:42Their family had fled the Taliban.
-
9:44 - 9:45Hundreds of people in their village
-
9:45 - 9:47were murdered.
-
9:47 - 9:49Their father was taken in by the Taliban,
-
9:49 - 9:53only to return a few months later,
a shell of the man he once was. -
9:55 - 9:57The family escaped to Pakistan,
-
9:57 - 10:01and the two older boys,
age eight and 10 at the time, -
10:01 - 10:04wove rugs for 10 hours a day
to provide for their family. -
10:05 - 10:09They were so excited when they found out
that they had been approved -
10:09 - 10:11to resettle in the United States,
-
10:11 - 10:14making them the lucky 0.1 percent
who get to do that. -
10:14 - 10:16They had hit the jackpot.
-
10:17 - 10:18Their story is not unique.
-
10:19 - 10:23Every refugee family I have worked with
has had some version of this. -
10:23 - 10:24I work with kids
-
10:25 - 10:29who have seen their mothers raped,
their fathers' fingers sliced off. -
10:29 - 10:32One kid saw a bullet
put in his grandmother's head, -
10:32 - 10:36because she refused to let the rebels
take him to be a child soldier. -
10:38 - 10:39Their journeys are haunting.
-
10:40 - 10:46But what I get to see every day
is hope, resilience, determination, -
10:46 - 10:47a love of life
-
10:47 - 10:50and appreciation for being able
to rebuild their lives. -
10:52 - 10:54I was at the boys' apartment one night,
-
10:54 - 10:59when the mom came home
after cleaning 18 hotel rooms in one day. -
10:59 - 11:01She sat down, and Noor rubbed her feet,
-
11:02 - 11:05saying that he was going to take care
of her once he graduated. -
11:05 - 11:06She smiled from exhaustion.
-
11:06 - 11:10"God is good. Life is good.
We are lucky to be here." -
11:11 - 11:16In the last two years, we have seen
an escalating anti-refugee sentiment. -
11:16 - 11:17It's global.
-
11:19 - 11:22The numbers continue to grow
because we do nothing to prevent it -
11:22 - 11:24and nothing to stop it.
-
11:24 - 11:27The issue shouldn't be stopping refugees
from coming into our countries. -
11:27 - 11:30The issue should be
not forcing them to leave their own. -
11:30 - 11:35(Applause)
-
11:47 - 11:48Sorry.
-
11:48 - 11:52(Applause)
-
11:58 - 12:00How much more suffering,
-
12:00 - 12:03how much more suffering must we take?
-
12:03 - 12:06How many more people need to be
forced out of their homes -
12:06 - 12:07before we say, "Enough!"?
-
12:07 - 12:09A hundred million?
-
12:09 - 12:12Not only do we shame,
blame and reject them -
12:13 - 12:16for atrocities that they had
absolutely nothing to do with, -
12:17 - 12:18we re-traumatize them,
-
12:18 - 12:21when we're supposed to be welcoming
them into our countries. -
12:23 - 12:27We strip them of their dignity
and treat them like criminals. -
12:27 - 12:29I had a student in my office
a couple of weeks ago. -
12:29 - 12:31She's originally from Iraq.
-
12:31 - 12:33She broke down crying.
-
12:34 - 12:35"Why do they hate us?"
-
12:35 - 12:36"Who hates you?"
-
12:36 - 12:39"Everyone; everyone hates us
because we are refugees, -
12:39 - 12:41because we are Muslim."
-
12:42 - 12:44In the past, I was able
to reassure my students -
12:44 - 12:47that the majority of the world
does not hate refugees. -
12:47 - 12:48But this time I couldn't.
-
12:49 - 12:52I couldn't explain to her why someone
tried to rip off her mother's hijab -
12:52 - 12:54when they were grocery shopping,
-
12:54 - 12:57or why a player on an opposing
team called her a terrorist -
12:57 - 13:00and told her to go back
where she came from. -
13:00 - 13:02I couldn't reassure her
-
13:02 - 13:04that her father's ultimate life sacrifice
-
13:04 - 13:07by serving in the United States
military as an interpreter -
13:07 - 13:10would make her more valued
as an American citizen. -
13:11 - 13:14We take in so few refugees worldwide.
-
13:15 - 13:18We resettle less than 0.1 percent.
-
13:19 - 13:22That 0.1 percent benefits us
more than them. -
13:23 - 13:27It dumbfounds me how the word "refugee"
is considered something to be dirty, -
13:27 - 13:28something to be ashamed of.
-
13:28 - 13:30They have nothing to be ashamed of.
-
13:34 - 13:37We have seen advances
in every aspect of our lives -- -
13:37 - 13:38except our humanity.
-
13:39 - 13:43There are 65.3 million people
who have been forced out of their homes -
13:43 - 13:44because of war --
-
13:45 - 13:47the largest number in history.
-
13:47 - 13:49We are the ones who should be ashamed.
-
13:50 - 13:51Thank you.
-
13:51 - 13:57(Applause)
- Title:
- Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them
- Speaker:
- Luma Mufleh
- Description:
-
"We have seen advances in every aspect of our lives -- except our humanity," says Luma Mufleh, a Jordanian immigrant and Muslim of Syrian descent who founded the first accredited school for refugees in the United States. Mufleh shares stories of hope and resilience, explaining how she's helping young people from war-torn countries navigate the difficult process of building new homes. Get inspired to make a personal difference in the lives of refugees with this powerful talk.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 14:13
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Brian Greene approved English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Camille Martínez accepted English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Camille Martínez edited English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Camille Martínez edited English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | ||
Joseph Geni edited English subtitles for Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them |