0:00:00.944,0:00:02.842
I remember when I first found out

0:00:02.866,0:00:04.905
I was going to speak at a TED conference.

0:00:04.929,0:00:07.040
I ran across the hall[br]to one of my classrooms

0:00:07.064,0:00:08.493
to inform my students.

0:00:08.517,0:00:09.765
"Guess what, guys?

0:00:09.789,0:00:11.867
I've been asked to give a TED Talk."

0:00:11.891,0:00:13.922
The reaction wasn't one I quite expected.

0:00:13.946,0:00:15.404
The whole room went silent.

0:00:17.134,0:00:20.094
"A TED Talk? You mean, like the one[br]you made us watch on grit?

0:00:20.118,0:00:23.813
Or the one with the scientist that did[br]this really awesome thing with robots?"

0:00:23.837,0:00:25.003
Muhammad asked.

0:00:25.027,0:00:26.448
"Yes, just like that."

0:00:27.137,0:00:30.071
"But Coach, those people[br]are really important and smart."

0:00:30.095,0:00:32.172
(Laughter)

0:00:32.196,0:00:33.518
"I know that."

0:00:34.793,0:00:38.510
"But Coach, why are you speaking?[br]You hate public speaking."

0:00:39.071,0:00:40.580
"I do," I admitted,

0:00:42.334,0:00:45.933
"But it's important that I speak about us,[br]that I speak about your journeys,

0:00:45.957,0:00:47.116
about my journey.

0:00:47.140,0:00:48.409
People need to know."

0:00:49.098,0:00:51.811
The students at the all-refugee[br]school that I founded

0:00:51.835,0:00:54.227
decided to end with some[br]words of encouragement.

0:00:54.251,0:00:56.070
"Cool! It better be good, Coach."

0:00:56.094,0:00:58.794
(Laughter)

0:00:58.818,0:01:02.376
There are 65.3 million people[br]who have been forcibly displaced

0:01:02.400,0:01:04.948
from their homes because[br]of war or persecution.

0:01:06.035,0:01:09.018
The largest number,[br]11 million, are from Syria.

0:01:09.963,0:01:14.322
33,952 people flee their homes daily.

0:01:16.846,0:01:20.044
The vast majority remain in refugee camps,

0:01:20.068,0:01:24.093
whose conditions cannot be defined[br]as humane under anyone's definition.

0:01:24.686,0:01:29.036
We are participating[br]in the degradation of humans.

0:01:32.750,0:01:34.531
Never have we had numbers this high.

0:01:34.555,0:01:37.676
This is the highest number[br]of refugees since World War II.

0:01:38.415,0:01:41.187
Now, let me tell you why this issue[br]is so important to me.

0:01:42.144,0:01:44.894
I am an Arab. I am an immigrant.

0:01:46.024,0:01:47.291
I am a Muslim.

0:01:48.006,0:01:51.780
I've also spent the last 12 years[br]of my life working with refugees.

0:01:51.804,0:01:53.246
Oh -- and I'm also gay.

0:01:53.270,0:01:55.170
It makes me really popular these days.

0:01:55.194,0:01:57.085
(Laughter)

0:01:57.109,0:01:59.053
But I am the daughter of a refugee.

0:02:00.056,0:02:04.554
My grandmother fled Syria in 1964[br]during the first Assad regime.

0:02:04.578,0:02:08.025
She was three months pregnant[br]when she packed up a suitcase,

0:02:08.049,0:02:11.143
piled in her five children[br]and drove to neighboring Jordan,

0:02:11.167,0:02:14.179
not knowing what the future held[br]for her and her family.

0:02:14.203,0:02:17.840
My grandfather decided to stay,[br]not believing it was that bad.

0:02:18.562,0:02:22.036
He followed her a month later,[br]after his brothers were tortured

0:02:22.060,0:02:24.489
and his factory was taken over[br]by the government.

0:02:25.039,0:02:27.233
They rebuilt their lives[br]starting from scratch

0:02:27.257,0:02:30.532
and eventually became independently[br]wealthy Jordanian citizens.

0:02:31.969,0:02:34.462
I was born in Jordan 11 years later.

0:02:35.431,0:02:38.741
It was really important to my grandmother[br]for us to know our history

0:02:38.765,0:02:39.919
and our journey.

0:02:40.883,0:02:44.500
I was eight years old when she took me[br]to visit my first refugee camp.

0:02:44.524,0:02:45.964
I didn't understand why.

0:02:46.636,0:02:48.767
I didn't know why[br]it was so important to her

0:02:48.791,0:02:50.241
for us to go.

0:02:50.265,0:02:53.204
I remember walking into the camp[br]holding her hand,

0:02:53.228,0:02:55.197
and her saying, "Go play with the kids,"

0:02:55.221,0:02:57.724
while she visited[br]with the women in the camp.

0:02:58.606,0:02:59.818
I didn't want to.

0:02:59.842,0:03:01.258
These kids weren't like me.

0:03:01.282,0:03:03.060
They were poor. They lived in a camp.

0:03:03.084,0:03:04.424
I refused.

0:03:04.448,0:03:07.414
She knelt down beside me[br]and firmly said, "Go.

0:03:07.438,0:03:09.592
And don't come back until you've played.

0:03:09.616,0:03:11.656
Don't ever think people are beneath you

0:03:11.680,0:03:13.979
or that you have nothing[br]to learn from others."

0:03:14.520,0:03:15.969
I reluctantly went.

0:03:15.993,0:03:18.281
I never wanted to disappoint[br]my grandmother.

0:03:19.475,0:03:20.872
I returned a few hours later,

0:03:20.896,0:03:25.526
having spent some time playing soccer[br]with the kids in the camp.

0:03:26.039,0:03:27.316
We walked out of the camp,

0:03:27.340,0:03:30.035
and I was excitedly telling her[br]what a great time I had

0:03:30.059,0:03:31.990
and how fantastic the kids were.

0:03:33.175,0:03:35.855
"Haram!" I said in Arabic. "Poor them."

0:03:36.648,0:03:39.735
"Haram on us," she said,[br]using the word's different meaning,

0:03:39.759,0:03:41.092
that we were sinning.

0:03:42.002,0:03:44.375
"Don't feel sorry for them;[br]believe in them."

0:03:46.351,0:03:49.770
It wasn't until I left my country[br]of origin for the United States

0:03:49.794,0:03:51.806
that I realized the impact of her words.

0:03:53.187,0:03:56.861
After my college graduation, I applied for[br]and was granted political asylum,

0:03:56.885,0:03:58.977
based on being a member of a social group.

0:03:59.710,0:04:01.400
Some people may not realize this,

0:04:01.424,0:04:05.090
but you can still get the death penalty[br]in some countries for being gay.

0:04:07.077,0:04:09.121
I had to give up my Jordanian citizenship.

0:04:09.145,0:04:11.594
That was the hardest decision[br]I've ever had to make,

0:04:11.618,0:04:12.998
but I had no other choice.

0:04:17.387,0:04:18.630
The point is,

0:04:19.506,0:04:22.582
when you find yourself choosing[br]between home and survival,

0:04:22.606,0:04:25.438
the question "Where are you from?"[br]becomes very loaded.

0:04:26.772,0:04:30.039
A Syrian woman who I recently met[br]at a refugee camp in Greece

0:04:30.063,0:04:31.331
articulated it best,

0:04:31.355,0:04:34.925
when she recalled the exact moment[br]she realized she had to flee Aleppo.

0:04:35.277,0:04:37.535
"I looked out the window[br]and there was nothing.

0:04:37.559,0:04:38.918
It was all rubble.

0:04:39.593,0:04:43.385
There were no stores, no streets,[br]no schools. Everything was gone.

0:04:44.006,0:04:46.053
I had been in my apartment for months,

0:04:46.077,0:04:49.147
listening to bombs drop[br]and watching people die.

0:04:49.771,0:04:51.834
But I always thought it would get better,

0:04:53.028,0:04:55.102
that no one could force me to leave,

0:04:55.126,0:04:57.168
no one could take my home away from me.

0:04:57.795,0:05:01.067
And I don't know why it was that morning,[br]but when I looked outside,

0:05:01.091,0:05:04.229
I realized if I didn't leave,[br]my three young children would die.

0:05:04.253,0:05:05.642
And so we left.

0:05:05.666,0:05:08.670
We left because we had to,[br]not because we wanted to.

0:05:08.694,0:05:10.442
There was no choice," she said.

0:05:11.978,0:05:14.256
It's kind of hard to believe[br]that you belong

0:05:14.280,0:05:15.744
when you don't have a home,

0:05:15.768,0:05:19.774
when your country of origin rejects you[br]because of fear or persecution,

0:05:19.798,0:05:23.702
or the city that you grew up in[br]is completely destroyed.

0:05:24.805,0:05:26.836
I didn't feel like I had a home.

0:05:26.860,0:05:29.317
I was no longer a Jordanian citizen,

0:05:29.341,0:05:30.973
but I wasn't American, either.

0:05:31.643,0:05:33.381
I felt a kind of loneliness

0:05:33.405,0:05:35.524
that is still hard[br]to put into words today.

0:05:36.781,0:05:40.064
After college, I desperately needed[br]to find a place to call home.

0:05:40.546,0:05:42.262
I bounced around from state to state

0:05:42.286,0:05:44.721
and eventually ended up in North Carolina.

0:05:44.745,0:05:46.870
Kindhearted people who felt sorry for me

0:05:47.413,0:05:48.747
offered to pay rent

0:05:49.405,0:05:52.719
or buy me a meal or a suit[br]for my new interview.

0:05:52.743,0:05:55.766
It just made me feel[br]more isolated and incapable.

0:05:56.481,0:05:58.295
It wasn't until I met Miss Sarah,

0:05:58.319,0:06:02.055
a Southern Baptist who took me in[br]at my lowest and gave me a job,

0:06:02.079,0:06:03.972
that I started to believe in myself.

0:06:04.695,0:06:08.492
Miss Sarah owned a diner[br]in the mountains of North Carolina.

0:06:09.856,0:06:12.025
I assumed, because[br]of my privileged upbringing

0:06:12.049,0:06:13.568
and my Seven Sister education,

0:06:13.592,0:06:15.796
that she would ask me[br]to manage the restaurant.

0:06:15.820,0:06:17.028
I was wrong.

0:06:17.972,0:06:19.675
I started off washing dishes,

0:06:19.699,0:06:21.678
cleaning toilets and working the grill.

0:06:22.247,0:06:25.332
I was humbled; I was shown[br]the value of hard work.

0:06:25.356,0:06:27.966
But most importantly,[br]I felt valued and embraced.

0:06:28.924,0:06:30.804
I celebrated Christmas with her family,

0:06:30.828,0:06:33.180
and she attempted to observe[br]Ramadan with me.

0:06:34.236,0:06:36.906
I remember being very nervous[br]about coming out to her --

0:06:36.930,0:06:38.972
after all, she was a Southern Baptist.

0:06:38.996,0:06:40.456
I sat on the couch next to her

0:06:40.480,0:06:43.011
and I said, "Miss Sarah,[br]you know that I'm gay."

0:06:43.035,0:06:45.221
Her response is one[br]that I will never forget.

0:06:45.715,0:06:47.914
"That's fine, honey.[br]Just don't be a slut."

0:06:47.938,0:06:51.110
(Laughter)

0:06:51.134,0:06:53.809
(Applause)

0:06:53.833,0:06:59.745
I eventually moved to Atlanta,[br]still trying to find my home.

0:07:00.261,0:07:02.640
My journey took a strange turn[br]three years later,

0:07:02.664,0:07:05.897
after I met a group of refugee kids[br]playing soccer outside.

0:07:06.318,0:07:08.858
I'd made a wrong turn[br]into this apartment complex,

0:07:08.882,0:07:11.097
and I saw these kids[br]outside playing soccer.

0:07:11.496,0:07:14.059
They were playing barefoot[br]with a raggedy soccer ball

0:07:14.083,0:07:15.535
and rocks set up as goals.

0:07:15.559,0:07:17.259
I watched them for about an hour,

0:07:17.283,0:07:18.861
and after that I was smiling.

0:07:19.296,0:07:20.883
The boys reminded me of home.

0:07:21.368,0:07:23.846
They reminded me of the way[br]I grew up playing soccer

0:07:23.870,0:07:26.500
in the streets of Jordan,[br]with my brothers and cousins.

0:07:27.792,0:07:29.793
I eventually joined their game.

0:07:29.817,0:07:32.660
They were a little skeptical[br]about letting me join it,

0:07:32.684,0:07:35.346
because according to them,[br]girls don't know how to play.

0:07:35.370,0:07:36.716
But obviously I did.

0:07:36.740,0:07:38.984
I asked them if they had[br]ever played on a team.

0:07:39.008,0:07:41.442
They said they hadn't,[br]but that they would love to.

0:07:41.931,0:07:44.952
I gradually won them over,[br]and we formed our first team.

0:07:45.851,0:07:50.735
This group of kids would give me[br]a crash course in refugees, poverty

0:07:51.997,0:07:53.229
and humanity.

0:07:54.375,0:07:57.930
Three brothers from Afghanistan --[br]Roohullah, Noorullah and Zabiullah --

0:07:57.954,0:07:59.578
played a major role in that.

0:08:00.380,0:08:03.948
I showed up late to practice one day[br]to find the field completely deserted.

0:08:03.972,0:08:05.153
I was really worried.

0:08:05.177,0:08:06.788
My team loved to practice.

0:08:06.812,0:08:09.419
It wasn't like them to miss practice.

0:08:09.443,0:08:12.531
I got out of my car, and two kids[br]ran out from behind a dumpster,

0:08:12.555,0:08:14.138
waving their hands frantically.

0:08:15.095,0:08:17.142
"Coach, Rooh got beat up. He got jumped.

0:08:17.166,0:08:18.744
There was blood everywhere."

0:08:18.768,0:08:21.223
"What do you mean?[br]What do you mean he got beat up?"

0:08:21.247,0:08:23.320
"These bad kids came[br]and beat him up, Coach.

0:08:23.344,0:08:25.570
Everybody left. They were all scared."

0:08:25.594,0:08:28.312
We hopped into my car[br]and drove over to Rooh's apartment.

0:08:28.336,0:08:30.835
I knocked on the door, and Noor opened it.

0:08:31.589,0:08:34.341
"Where's Rooh? I need[br]to talk to him, see if he's OK."

0:08:34.365,0:08:37.301
"He's in his room, Coach.[br]He's refusing to come out."

0:08:37.325,0:08:38.492
I knocked on the door.

0:08:38.516,0:08:40.942
"Rooh, come on out. I need to talk to you.

0:08:40.966,0:08:44.017
I need to see if you're OK[br]or if we need to go to the hospital."

0:08:44.041,0:08:45.192
He came out.

0:08:45.216,0:08:47.478
He had a big gash on his head,[br]a split lip,

0:08:48.019,0:08:49.770
and he was physically shaken.

0:08:50.514,0:08:51.847
I was looking at him,

0:08:51.871,0:08:54.430
and I asked the boys[br]to call for their mom,

0:08:54.454,0:08:56.866
because I needed to go[br]to the hospital with him.

0:08:56.890,0:08:58.197
They called for their mom.

0:08:58.608,0:08:59.800
She came out.

0:09:00.239,0:09:03.818
I had my back turned to her,[br]and she started screaming in Farsi.

0:09:04.577,0:09:06.652
The boys fell to the ground laughing.

0:09:06.676,0:09:07.828
I was very confused,

0:09:07.852,0:09:09.926
because there was nothing[br]funny about this.

0:09:10.390,0:09:12.390
They explained to me that she said,

0:09:12.414,0:09:15.228
"You told me your coach[br]was a Muslim and a woman."

0:09:15.252,0:09:17.621
From behind, I didn't appear[br]to be either to her.

0:09:17.645,0:09:21.278
(Laughter)

0:09:21.302,0:09:23.538
"I am Muslim," I said, turning to her.

0:09:23.562,0:09:25.493
"Ašhadu ʾan lā ʾilāha ʾilla (A)llāh,"

0:09:25.517,0:09:27.886
reciting the Muslim declaration of faith.

0:09:28.587,0:09:29.891
Confused,

0:09:31.208,0:09:33.198
and perhaps maybe a little bit reassured,

0:09:33.222,0:09:34.377
she realized that yes,

0:09:34.401,0:09:37.692
I, this American-acting,[br]shorts-wearing, non-veiled woman,

0:09:37.716,0:09:38.906
was indeed a Muslim.

0:09:40.166,0:09:42.116
Their family had fled the Taliban.

0:09:43.687,0:09:45.391
Hundreds of people in their village

0:09:45.415,0:09:46.661
were murdered.

0:09:46.685,0:09:48.898
Their father was taken in by the Taliban,

0:09:48.922,0:09:52.723
only to return a few months later,[br]a shell of the man he once was.

0:09:54.738,0:09:57.149
The family escaped to Pakistan,

0:09:57.173,0:10:00.741
and the two older boys,[br]age eight and 10 at the time,

0:10:00.765,0:10:04.002
wove rugs for 10 hours a day[br]to provide for their family.

0:10:04.926,0:10:08.683
They were so excited when they found out[br]that they had been approved

0:10:08.707,0:10:11.199
to resettle in the United States,

0:10:11.223,0:10:14.476
making them the lucky 0.1 percent[br]who get to do that.

0:10:14.500,0:10:16.090
They had hit the jackpot.

0:10:16.930,0:10:18.500
Their story is not unique.

0:10:19.085,0:10:22.993
Every refugee family I have worked with[br]has had some version of this.

0:10:23.017,0:10:24.357
I work with kids

0:10:25.206,0:10:29.065
who have seen their mothers raped,[br]their fathers' fingers sliced off.

0:10:29.089,0:10:32.044
One kid saw a bullet[br]put in his grandmother's head,

0:10:32.068,0:10:36.106
because she refused to let the rebels[br]take him to be a child soldier.

0:10:37.943,0:10:39.484
Their journeys are haunting.

0:10:39.940,0:10:45.714
But what I get to see every day[br]is hope, resilience, determination,

0:10:45.738,0:10:46.923
a love of life

0:10:46.947,0:10:49.791
and appreciation for being able[br]to rebuild their lives.

0:10:51.607,0:10:53.732
I was at the boys' apartment one night,

0:10:53.756,0:10:58.566
when the mom came home[br]after cleaning 18 hotel rooms in one day.

0:10:58.590,0:11:00.883
She sat down, and Noor rubbed her feet,

0:11:01.679,0:11:04.754
saying that he was going to take care[br]of her once he graduated.

0:11:04.778,0:11:06.272
She smiled from exhaustion.

0:11:06.296,0:11:09.704
"God is good. Life is good.[br]We are lucky to be here."

0:11:11.001,0:11:15.796
In the last two years, we have seen[br]an escalating anti-refugee sentiment.

0:11:16.219,0:11:17.438
It's global.

0:11:18.579,0:11:21.823
The numbers continue to grow[br]because we do nothing to prevent it

0:11:21.847,0:11:23.548
and nothing to stop it.

0:11:23.572,0:11:27.124
The issue shouldn't be stopping refugees[br]from coming into our countries.

0:11:27.148,0:11:30.136
The issue should be[br]not forcing them to leave their own.

0:11:30.160,0:11:34.595
(Applause)

0:11:46.510,0:11:47.835
Sorry.

0:11:47.859,0:11:51.787
(Applause)

0:11:57.917,0:12:00.442
How much more suffering,

0:12:00.466,0:12:02.511
how much more suffering must we take?

0:12:03.255,0:12:06.026
How many more people need to be[br]forced out of their homes

0:12:06.050,0:12:07.431
before we say, "Enough!"?

0:12:07.455,0:12:08.664
A hundred million?

0:12:09.125,0:12:11.951
Not only do we shame,[br]blame and reject them

0:12:13.245,0:12:16.078
for atrocities that they had[br]absolutely nothing to do with,

0:12:17.012,0:12:18.167
we re-traumatize them,

0:12:18.191,0:12:21.156
when we're supposed to be welcoming[br]them into our countries.

0:12:23.291,0:12:26.594
We strip them of their dignity[br]and treat them like criminals.

0:12:26.618,0:12:29.324
I had a student in my office[br]a couple of weeks ago.

0:12:29.348,0:12:31.164
She's originally from Iraq.

0:12:31.188,0:12:32.627
She broke down crying.

0:12:33.595,0:12:35.223
"Why do they hate us?"

0:12:35.247,0:12:36.421
"Who hates you?"

0:12:36.445,0:12:39.216
"Everyone; everyone hates us[br]because we are refugees,

0:12:39.240,0:12:40.596
because we are Muslim."

0:12:42.019,0:12:44.355
In the past, I was able[br]to reassure my students

0:12:44.379,0:12:47.016
that the majority of the world[br]does not hate refugees.

0:12:47.040,0:12:48.425
But this time I couldn't.

0:12:48.868,0:12:52.348
I couldn't explain to her why someone[br]tried to rip off her mother's hijab

0:12:52.372,0:12:54.157
when they were grocery shopping,

0:12:54.181,0:12:57.425
or why a player on an opposing[br]team called her a terrorist

0:12:57.449,0:12:59.932
and told her to go back[br]where she came from.

0:12:59.956,0:13:01.718
I couldn't reassure her

0:13:01.742,0:13:04.081
that her father's ultimate life sacrifice

0:13:04.105,0:13:07.225
by serving in the United States[br]military as an interpreter

0:13:07.249,0:13:09.959
would make her more valued[br]as an American citizen.

0:13:11.051,0:13:13.923
We take in so few refugees worldwide.

0:13:14.949,0:13:17.635
We resettle less than 0.1 percent.

0:13:18.778,0:13:21.978
That 0.1 percent benefits us[br]more than them.

0:13:22.797,0:13:26.583
It dumbfounds me how the word "refugee"[br]is considered something to be dirty,

0:13:26.607,0:13:28.220
something to be ashamed of.

0:13:28.244,0:13:30.108
They have nothing to be ashamed of.

0:13:33.827,0:13:36.550
We have seen advances[br]in every aspect of our lives --

0:13:36.574,0:13:37.952
except our humanity.

0:13:38.523,0:13:42.962
There are 65.3 million people[br]who have been forced out of their homes

0:13:42.986,0:13:44.230
because of war --

0:13:44.685,0:13:46.534
the largest number in history.

0:13:47.110,0:13:49.167
We are the ones who should be ashamed.

0:13:49.712,0:13:50.867
Thank you.

0:13:50.891,0:13:57.420
(Applause)