Confessions of a bad feminist
-
0:01 - 0:03I am failing as a woman,
-
0:03 - 0:05I am failing as a feminist.
-
0:05 - 0:08I have passionate opinions
about gender equality, -
0:08 - 0:12but I worry that to freely accept
the label of "feminist," -
0:12 - 0:15would not be fair to good feminists.
-
0:15 - 0:18I'm a feminist, but I'm a rather bad one.
-
0:18 - 0:20Oh, so I call myself a Bad Feminist.
-
0:20 - 0:23Or at least, I wrote an essay,
-
0:23 - 0:25and then I wrote a book
called "Bad Feminist," -
0:25 - 0:28and then in interviews, people started
calling me The Bad Feminist. -
0:28 - 0:30(Laughter)
-
0:30 - 0:34So, what started as a bit
of an inside joke with myself -
0:34 - 0:35and a willful provocation,
-
0:35 - 0:37has become a thing.
-
0:38 - 0:39Let me take a step back.
-
0:40 - 0:41When I was younger,
-
0:41 - 0:43mostly in my teens and 20s,
-
0:43 - 0:46I had strange ideas about feminists
-
0:46 - 0:49as hairy, angry, man-hating,
sex-hating women -- -
0:50 - 0:51as if those are bad things.
-
0:51 - 0:54(Laughter)
-
0:55 - 0:58These days, I look at how
women are treated the world over, -
0:58 - 1:03and anger, in particular, seems
like a perfectly reasonable response. -
1:03 - 1:04But back then,
-
1:05 - 1:06I worried about the tone people used
-
1:06 - 1:09when suggesting I might be a feminist.
-
1:09 - 1:12The feminist label was an accusation,
-
1:12 - 1:14it was an "F" word, and not a nice one.
-
1:15 - 1:18I was labeled a woman
who doesn't play by the rules, -
1:18 - 1:19who expects too much,
-
1:19 - 1:21who thinks far too highly of myself,
-
1:21 - 1:25by daring to believe I'm equal --
(Coughs) -- superior to a man. -
1:26 - 1:28You don't want to be that rebel woman,
-
1:28 - 1:30until you realize that you
very much are that woman, -
1:30 - 1:33and cannot imagine being anyone else.
-
1:33 - 1:35As I got older, I began to accept
-
1:35 - 1:39that I am, indeed, a feminist,
and a proud one. -
1:39 - 1:42I hold certain truths to be self-evident:
-
1:42 - 1:44Women are equal to men.
-
1:44 - 1:47We deserve equal pay for equal work.
-
1:47 - 1:50We have the right to move
through the world as we choose, -
1:50 - 1:52free from harassment or violence.
-
1:52 - 1:56We have the right to easy,
affordable access to birth control, -
1:56 - 1:58and reproductive services.
-
1:58 - 2:00We have the right to make choices
about our bodies, -
2:00 - 2:04free from legislative oversight
or evangelical doctrine. -
2:05 - 2:06We have the right to respect.
-
2:07 - 2:08There's more.
-
2:08 - 2:10When we talk about the needs of women,
-
2:10 - 2:14we have to consider
the other identities we inhabit. -
2:14 - 2:15We are not just women.
-
2:16 - 2:17We are people with different bodies,
-
2:17 - 2:20gender expressions, faiths, sexualities,
-
2:20 - 2:23class backgrounds, abilities,
and so much more. -
2:24 - 2:25We need to take into account
-
2:25 - 2:28these differences and how they affect us,
-
2:28 - 2:30as much as we account for
what we have in common. -
2:31 - 2:34Without this kind of inclusion,
our feminism is nothing. -
2:35 - 2:39I hold these truths to be self-evident,
but let me be clear: -
2:39 - 2:40I'm a mess.
-
2:40 - 2:42I am full of contradictions.
-
2:42 - 2:45There are many ways in which
I'm doing feminism wrong. -
2:46 - 2:47I have another confession.
-
2:47 - 2:52When I drive to work, I listen
to thuggish rap at a very loud volume. -
2:52 - 2:53(Laughter)
-
2:53 - 2:56Even though the lyrics
are degrading to women -- -
2:56 - 2:58these lyrics offend me to my core --
-
2:58 - 3:01the classic Yin Yang Twins
song "Salt Shaker" -- -
3:02 - 3:03it is amazing.
-
3:03 - 3:05(Laughter)
-
3:05 - 3:08"Make it work with your wet t-shirt.
-
3:08 - 3:12Bitch, you gotta shake it
'til your camel starts to hurt!" -
3:12 - 3:13(Laughter)
-
3:13 - 3:14Think about it.
-
3:14 - 3:17(Laughter)
-
3:17 - 3:19Poetry, right?
-
3:19 - 3:22I am utterly mortified
by my music choices. -
3:22 - 3:24(Laughter)
-
3:24 - 3:27I firmly believe in man work,
-
3:27 - 3:29which is anything I don't
want to do, including -- -
3:29 - 3:31(Laughter) --
-
3:31 - 3:33all domestic tasks,
-
3:33 - 3:37but also: bug killing, trash removal,
lawn care and vehicle maintenance. -
3:38 - 3:40I want no part of any of that.
-
3:40 - 3:41(Laughter)
-
3:41 - 3:43Pink is my favorite color.
-
3:43 - 3:46I enjoy fashion magazines
and pretty things. -
3:46 - 3:48I watch "The Bachelor"
and romantic comedies, -
3:48 - 3:51and I have absurd fantasies
about fairy tales coming true. -
3:52 - 3:54Some of my transgressions
are more flagrant. -
3:55 - 3:57If a woman wants to take
her husband's name, -
3:57 - 4:00that is her choice, and it is not
my place to judge. -
4:01 - 4:04If a woman chooses to stay home
to raise her children, -
4:04 - 4:06I embrace that choice, too.
-
4:06 - 4:10The problem is not that she makes herself
economically vulnerable in that choice; -
4:10 - 4:12the problem is that our society is set up
-
4:12 - 4:15to make women economically vulnerable
when they choose. -
4:15 - 4:17Let's deal with that.
-
4:18 - 4:21(Applause)
-
4:23 - 4:25I reject the mainstream feminism
-
4:26 - 4:28that has historically ignored
or deflected the needs -
4:28 - 4:33of women of color, working-class women,
queer women and transgender women, -
4:33 - 4:36in favor of supporting white, middle-
and upper-class straight women. -
4:36 - 4:40Listen, if that's good feminism --
I am a very bad feminist. -
4:40 - 4:41(Laughter)
-
4:41 - 4:42There is also this:
-
4:42 - 4:45As a feminist, I feel a lot of pressure.
-
4:45 - 4:49We have this tendency to put
visible feminists on a pedestal. -
4:49 - 4:51We expect them to pose perfectly.
-
4:51 - 4:52When they disappoint us,
-
4:52 - 4:56we gleefully knock them
from the very pedestal we put them on. -
4:56 - 4:58Like I said, I am a mess --
-
4:58 - 5:00consider me knocked off that pedestal
-
5:00 - 5:02before you ever try to put me up there.
-
5:02 - 5:03(Laughter)
-
5:03 - 5:04Too many women,
-
5:04 - 5:07particularly groundbreaking women
and industry leaders, -
5:08 - 5:10are afraid to be labeled as feminists.
-
5:10 - 5:14They're afraid to stand up and say,
"Yes, I am a feminist," -
5:14 - 5:16for fear of what that label means,
-
5:16 - 5:20for fear of being unable to live up to
unrealistic expectations. -
5:21 - 5:24Take, for example, Beyoncé,
or as I call her, The Goddess. -
5:24 - 5:26(Laughter)
-
5:26 - 5:30She has emerged, in recent years,
as a visible feminist. -
5:30 - 5:33At the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards,
-
5:33 - 5:36she performed in front of the word
"feminist" 10 feet high. -
5:36 - 5:39It was a glorious spectacle to see
-
5:39 - 5:42this pop star openly embracing feminism
-
5:42 - 5:43and letting young women and men know
-
5:43 - 5:46that being a feminist
is something to celebrate. -
5:47 - 5:51As the moment faded, cultural critics
began endlessly debating -
5:51 - 5:53whether or not Beyoncé was,
indeed, a feminist. -
5:54 - 5:56They graded her feminism,
-
5:56 - 6:00instead of simply taking a grown,
accomplished woman at her word. -
6:00 - 6:03(Laughter)
-
6:03 - 6:05(Applause)
-
6:05 - 6:08We demand perfection from feminists,
-
6:08 - 6:10because we are still fighting for so much,
-
6:10 - 6:11we want so much,
-
6:11 - 6:13we need so damn much.
-
6:13 - 6:17We go far beyond reasonable,
constructive criticism, -
6:17 - 6:19to dissecting any given woman's feminism,
-
6:19 - 6:22tearing it apart
until there's nothing left. -
6:22 - 6:24We do not need to do that.
-
6:24 - 6:29Bad feminism -- or really, more inclusive
feminism -- is a starting point. -
6:29 - 6:30But what happens next?
-
6:31 - 6:34We go from acknowledging
our imperfections to accountability, -
6:34 - 6:37or walking the walk,
and being a little bit brave. -
6:38 - 6:40If I listen to degrading music,
-
6:40 - 6:44I am creating a demand for which
artists are more than happy -
6:44 - 6:46to contribute a limitless supply.
-
6:46 - 6:48These artists are not going to change
-
6:48 - 6:50how they talk about women in their songs
-
6:50 - 6:54until we demand that change
by affecting their bottom line. -
6:54 - 6:56Certainly, it is difficult.
-
6:56 - 6:58Why must it be so catchy?
-
6:59 - 7:01(Laughter)
-
7:02 - 7:04It's hard to make the better choice,
-
7:04 - 7:07and it is so easy to justify a lesser one.
-
7:07 - 7:08But --
-
7:08 - 7:10when I justify bad choices,
-
7:10 - 7:13I make it harder for women
to achieve equality, -
7:13 - 7:15the equality that we all deserve,
-
7:15 - 7:16and I need to own that.
-
7:17 - 7:20I think of my nieces, ages three and four.
-
7:20 - 7:22They are gorgeous
and headstrong, brilliant girls, -
7:22 - 7:24who are a whole lot of brave.
-
7:24 - 7:27I want them to thrive in a world
where they are valued -
7:27 - 7:30for the powerful creatures they are.
-
7:30 - 7:31I think of them,
-
7:31 - 7:34and suddenly, the better choice
becomes far easier to make. -
7:35 - 7:37We can all make better choices.
-
7:37 - 7:40We can change the channel
when a television show -
7:40 - 7:43treats sexual violence
against women like sport, -
7:43 - 7:44Game of Thrones.
-
7:44 - 7:46We can change the radio station
-
7:46 - 7:49when we hear songs
that treat women as nothing. -
7:49 - 7:52We can spend our
box office dollars elsewhere -
7:52 - 7:53when movies don't treat women
-
7:53 - 7:56as anything more than decorative objects.
-
7:56 - 7:58We can stop supporting professional sports
-
7:58 - 8:01where the athletes treat
their partners like punching bags. -
8:02 - 8:06(Applause)
-
8:08 - 8:11In other ways, men --
and especially straight white men -- -
8:11 - 8:14can say, "No, I will not publish
with your magazine, -
8:14 - 8:17or participate in your project,
or otherwise work with you, -
8:17 - 8:19until you include a fair number of women,
-
8:19 - 8:22both as participants and decision makers.
-
8:23 - 8:25I won't work with you
until your publication, -
8:25 - 8:29or your organization, is more inclusive
of all kinds of difference." -
8:29 - 8:32Those of us who are underrepresented
-
8:32 - 8:34and invited to participate
in such projects, -
8:34 - 8:36can also decline to be included
-
8:36 - 8:39until more of us are invited
through the glass ceiling, -
8:39 - 8:41and we are tokens no more.
-
8:42 - 8:43Without these efforts,
-
8:43 - 8:45without taking these stands,
-
8:45 - 8:48our accomplishments
are going to mean very little. -
8:48 - 8:51We can commit these small acts of bravery
-
8:51 - 8:55and hope that our choices trickle
upward to the people in power -- -
8:55 - 8:58editors, movie and music producers,
-
8:58 - 9:00CEOs, lawmakers --
-
9:00 - 9:02the people who can make
bigger, braver choices -
9:02 - 9:05to create lasting, meaningful change.
-
9:06 - 9:08We can also boldly claim our feminism --
-
9:08 - 9:11good, bad, or anywhere in between.
-
9:11 - 9:14The last line of my book
"Bad Feminist" says, -
9:14 - 9:18"I would rather be a bad feminist
than no feminist at all." -
9:18 - 9:20This is true for so many reasons,
-
9:20 - 9:24but first and foremost, I say this
because once upon a time, -
9:24 - 9:26my voice was stolen from me,
-
9:26 - 9:29and feminism helped me
to get my voice back. -
9:29 - 9:31There was an incident.
-
9:31 - 9:34I call it an incident so I can carry
the burden of what happened. -
9:35 - 9:36Some boys broke me,
-
9:36 - 9:38when I was so young, I did not know
-
9:38 - 9:40what boys can do to break a girl.
-
9:40 - 9:43They treated me like I was nothing.
-
9:43 - 9:45I began to believe I was nothing.
-
9:45 - 9:47They stole my voice, and in the after,
-
9:47 - 9:48I did not dare to believe
-
9:49 - 9:51that anything I might say could matter.
-
9:51 - 9:52But --
-
9:52 - 9:53I had writing.
-
9:53 - 9:56And there, I wrote myself back together.
-
9:56 - 9:59I wrote myself toward a stronger
version of myself. -
10:00 - 10:01I read the words of women
-
10:01 - 10:03who might understand a story like mine,
-
10:03 - 10:05and women who looked like me,
-
10:05 - 10:09and understood what it was like to move
through the world with brown skin. -
10:09 - 10:14I read the words of women
who showed me I was not nothing. -
10:14 - 10:15I learned to write like them,
-
10:15 - 10:17and then I learned to write as myself.
-
10:18 - 10:19I found my voice again,
-
10:19 - 10:23and I started to believe that my voice
is powerful beyond measure. -
10:24 - 10:26Through writing and feminism,
-
10:26 - 10:28I also found that if I was
a little bit brave, -
10:28 - 10:32another woman might hear me
and see me and recognize -
10:32 - 10:36that none of us are the nothing
the world tries to tell us we are. -
10:36 - 10:38In one hand,
-
10:38 - 10:41I hold the power to accomplish anything.
-
10:41 - 10:42And in my other,
-
10:42 - 10:45I hold the humbling reality
that I am just one woman. -
10:46 - 10:48I am a bad feminist,
-
10:48 - 10:49I am a good woman,
-
10:49 - 10:52I am trying to become better
in how I think, -
10:52 - 10:54and what I say, and what I do,
-
10:54 - 10:57without abandoning everything
that makes me human. -
10:57 - 11:00I hope that we can all do the same.
-
11:00 - 11:02I hope that we can all be
a little bit brave, -
11:02 - 11:04when we most need such bravery.
-
11:05 - 11:08(Applause)
- Title:
- Confessions of a bad feminist
- Speaker:
- Roxane Gay
- Description:
-
When writer Roxane Gay dubbed herself a "bad feminist," she was making a joke, acknowledging that she couldn't possibly live up to the demands for perfection of the feminist movement. But she's realized that the joke rang hollow. In a thoughtful and provocative talk, she asks us to embrace all flavors of feminism — and make the small choices that, en masse, might lead to actual change.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 11:28
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Morton Bast approved English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist | ||
Cynthia Betubiza edited English subtitles for Confessions of a bad feminist |