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MATRIX AUDITION TAPE!!

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    [beep]
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    [off-camera]
    Ace Ventura, The Matrix.
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    Are you familiar with the movie?
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    [Ace Ventura:]
    Yes.
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    It's a...
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    [grunts]
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    [beep]
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    [Clint Eastwood:]
    What the hell is a matrix?
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    [beep]
  • 0:15 - 0:16
    [Austin Powers:]
    Judo CHOP!
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    [beep]
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    [Alan Rickman:]
    I cannot shooow you the matrix.
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    I can only shooow you the dooor.
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    Yoou are the one who has to walk
    throough it.
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    [beep]
  • 0:30 - 0:30
    [Russel Brand:]
    Ah!
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    Woaah
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    Woaaah
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    Whoaaaah
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    Aaaahhh!
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    Dodged it!
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    Pew!
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    Neo!
    Free your mind!
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    Take this pill, free your mind!
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    [beep]
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    [Bam Margera:]
    Deja vu is u-usually a glitch in the matrix.
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    To obtain them, head d-down (?) to Mor-Morpus.
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    [off-camera]
    Morpheus.
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    Wait, am I Morpus or Neo?
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    [beep]
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    [Bear Grills:]
    I'm the one!
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    Though I have to make sure
    that I get out of this goo
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    and learn karate
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    [beep]
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    [Ben Affleck:]
    [muffled] Really...
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    [off-camera]
    Take 10!
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    [phone notification]
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    Eh, hold on a second.
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    I got a text.
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    You guys know Matt Damon?
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    - Yeah.
    - Yeah?
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    Yeah, he stole my script.
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    You take the red pill, you stay in maitherland (?)
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    Ben, is there something wrong with your jaw?
    You're...
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    My jaw?
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    Yeah, were you at the dentist today or something?
    You're kinda...
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    Nah, nah, nah
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    [beep]
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    [Colin Farrell:]
    What the heck is a matrix anyways?
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    Why do I gotta take these pills?
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    Try and free your mind, Neo.
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    None of this makes any sense.
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    You're telling me there's like another world
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    out there
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    It's not another world, it's a computer program.
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    For your brain.
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    For your mind.
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    Did you read the script?
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    Computer?
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    [beep]
  • 1:40 - 1:42
    [Jack Sparrow:]
    Mr. Anderson...
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    We've been looking for you, Mr. Anderson.
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    Grrraaarraarrraaa...
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    [beep]
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    [Jeff Goldblum:]
    Oh! Oh! Oh!
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    Ah! Mmm. Ah.
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    Oh! Oh! Oh!
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    Ah! Ah!
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    Um, I can, I can move out of the way
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    of bullets! Yes. Yes.
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    [beep]
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    [Joey Tribbiani:]
    You wanna take the blue pill?
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    Probably gonna end up
    doin' whatever you wanna do.
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    I don't know.
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    You wanna take the red pill,
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    you gonna trip out. Trust me.
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    It's worth it.
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    See that girl in the red dress?
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    Go ask how she's doin'.
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    [beep]
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    [husky breath ;)]
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    [Leonardo DiCaprio:]
    Phone me.
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    Into the dream world -
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    out of the dream world.
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    It's the matrix.
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    There's all these dreams.
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    Whohaaa...
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    [the rustle of falling paper]
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    [beep]
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    [Mark Wahlberg:]
    The other guys are gonna come get you,
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    they're gonna find you,
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    and then you're gonna be dead!
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    This is so confusing!
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    How can I be the one?!
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    I'm just a regular old son of a gun!
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    I'm a computer hacker!
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    How can I be the one?!
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    Gosh, this is more confusing than
    I Heart Huckabees!
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    [beep]
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    You can take your hands out
    of your pockets if you want to, Ryan.
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    [Ryan Gosling:]
    No, I'm good.
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    Morpheus, you really think I'm the one
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    Ryan, do you mind speaking up a little bit?
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    We can't quite hear you with that toothpick
    in your mouth.
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    Morpheus, you really think I'm the one
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    [beep]
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    [off-camera]
    Orlando Blonde for The Matrix.
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    [Orlando Bloom:]
    Orlando Blonde!?
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    I'm Orlando Bloom!
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    Like a flower?
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    NO!
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    NOT LIKE A FLOWER!
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    WELL yes.
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    Aren't you Johnny Depp's kid?
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    Johnny Depp's kid!?
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    Yeah.
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    I'll have you know
    that I starred alongside Johnny Depp in a -
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    A LOT OF FILM!
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    HE'S NOT MY DAD!
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    What are you talking about, father and son!?
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    You and Johnny Depp! You and Johnny Depp -
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    JOHNNY DEPP IS NOT MY FATHER!
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    NO!
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    I'M NOT RELATED TO HIM IN ANY WAY!
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    What are you trying to tell me!?
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    That I can dodge bullets!?
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    How can I dodge bullets!?
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    That's impossible,
    MORPHEUS!
  • 3:30 - 3:31
    [Adam Sandler:]
    Mommy -
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    mommy said that -
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    mommy said that you were -
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    mommy said that you were the one,
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    Neo, so -
Title:
MATRIX AUDITION TAPE!!
Description:

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Video Language:
English
Team:
Captions Requested
Duration:
03:35

English subtitles

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