-
[suspenseful music]
-
[sprightly music]
-
[speaking German]
-
- Oh, Junior, Bulgaro,
double joy.
-
[trumpet fanfare]
-
[men arguing]
-
Allo!
-
[speaking Russian]
-
[speaking Italian]
-
[chuckles]
-
[speaking French]
-
- What's all this fuss about,
Charters?
-
- I'm hanged if I know.
-
[speaking German]
-
- Danke schoen.
Danke schoen.
-
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm very sorry.
-
The train
is little bit uphold,
-
and if you wish
to stay in my hotel,
-
you have to register
immediately.
-
- Why the deuce didn't he say so
in the first place?
-
- Ah!
-
Oh, how do you do,
-
Miss Henderson?
-
How do you do,
ladies?
-
It's a great honor
to have you with us again.
-
- It's nice to see
you too, Boris.
-
You haven't changed a bit
since last Friday.
-
- Mm, I see you haven't
shaved either.
-
- Is everything ready?
-
- Everything is ready.
I didn't change anything.
-
- Not even the sheets.
We know.
-
Lead on, Boris.
-
- You see, I didn't expect you
to come so quickly.
-
- Well, our legs
gave out on us.
-
We had to do the last lap
in a farm cart.
-
- Oh!
-
- I see we've got company.
-
Don't tell me Cook's
are running cheap tours here.
-
- What is it, Boris?
-
- It's the avalanche.
-
- Have a lunch?
-
- Avalanche, Boris,
avalanche.
-
- You see, in the spring,
we've got many avalanches.
-
You know, the snow
goes like that, bloop,
-
and everything disappear.
-
Even train disappear
under the avalanche.
-
- But I'm going home
tomorrow.
-
How long before
they dig it out?
-
- By morning.
It's lucky for you.
-
You can leave by this train
instead of your own.
-
How you said it?
-
It's a bad wind
that blow nowhere no good.
-
- Well, talking of wind,
we haven't eaten since dawn.
-
- Serve us some supper,
Boris, in our room.
-
- I could eat
a horse.
-
- Don't put ideas
into his head.
-
Some chicken,
Boris,
-
and a magnum
of champagne.
-
- Absolutely.
-
- And make it snappy.
-
Bandrika may have
a dictator,
-
but tonight,
we're painting it red.
-
- Meanwhile, we have
to stand here
-
cooling our heels,
I suppose, eh?
-
Confounded impudence.
-
- Well, third-rate country,
what do you expect?
-
- Wonder who
those women were.
-
- Hmm, possibly American,
don't you think?
-
You know, almighty dollar,
old man.
-
- I suppose
we'll have to wait here.
-
If only we hadn't missed
that train at Budapest.
-
- Well, I don't want
to rub it in,
-
but if you hadn't insisted
on standing up
-
until they'd finished
their national anthem--
-
- Yes, but you must
show respect, Caldicott.
-
If I'd known it was going
to last 20 minutes...
-
- Well, it's always been
my contention
-
that the "Hungarian Rhapsody"
is not their national anthem.
-
Any case, we were
the only two standing.
-
- That's true.
-
- Well, I suppose we shall be
in time after all.
-
- I doubt it.
-
That last report
was pretty ghastly.
-
Do you remember:
"England on the brink"?
-
- Yes, but that's
newspaper sensationalism.
-
The old country's been
in some tight corners before.
-
- It looks pretty black.
-
I mean, even if we get away
first thing tomorrow morning,
-
there's still
the connection at Basle.
-
We'll probably be hours.
-
- Mm, that's true.
-
- Well, somebody
surely can help us.
-
Oh, sir, do you
happen to know
-
what time the train
leaves Basle for England?
-
- [speaking German]
-
- Oh, really.
-
Fellow doesn't
speak English.
-
[people clamoring]
-
- [speaking French]
-
[speaking French]
-
Allo, Alex?
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
Champagne,
Miss Henderson.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
[speaking French]
-
[woman speaking French]
-
- Here's one
leaves Basle 21:20.
-
- 21:20.
-
20, 20.
12 from 21 is...
-
21:20.
-
11, no.
Yes, it is.
-
- One, two, three, four.
-
- I regret, sir,
there is only left
-
two single room
in front
-
or a little double room
at the back.
-
- We'll take
the two singles.
-
- Very well, sir.
Here is it.
-
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
-
- At least you might have asked me
which I preferred.
-
- My dear, a small double room
at the back
-
in a place like this?
-
- You weren't so particular
in Paris last autumn.
-
- Oh, it was
quite different then.
-
The exhibition
was at its height.
-
- I realize that now.
-
There's no need
to rub it in.
-
- We want a private suite
with a bath.
-
- Facing the mountain.
-
- With a shower,
of course.
-
- Hot and cold.
-
- And a private thingummy
if you've got one.
-
- Well, I'm sorry,
gentlemen.
-
The only things I've got
is the maid room.
-
- The what?
- Maid room?
-
- Well, I'm sorry.
-
The whole hotel is packed,
jammed to the sky.
-
- Oh, but that's impossible.
We haven't fixed up yet.
-
- Hang it all;
you can't expect
-
to put the two of us up
in the maid's room.
-
- Well, don't get excited.
I'll remove the maid out.
-
- Yes, I should think so.
-
What?
-
What are you
talking about?
-
- Look, I think I'd sooner
sleep on the train.
-
- There is no eating
on the train.
-
- No eating
on the train?
-
- Yes, I mean
ha...heating. Brr.
-
- Oh, heating,
there's no heating on the train.
-
- Oh, that's awkward.
-
All right,
we'll take it.
-
- Just a minute.
One condition.
-
You have to have the maid
who comes to your room
-
remove her wardrobe.
-
Anna!
-
She's a good girl,
and I don't want to lose her.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
[mumbling
and chuckling]
-
- We'd better go
and dress.
-
- Rather primitive humor,
I thought.
-
- All grown-up children,
you know?
-
That was rather an awkward
situation over that girl.
-
- Pity he couldn't have
given us one each.
-
- Eh?
-
- I mean a room apiece.
-
- Oh.
-
- I, Iris Matilda Henderson,
-
a spinster
of no particular parish,
-
do hereby solemnly renounce
my maidenly past
-
and do declare
that on Thursday next,
-
the 26th inst,
being in my right mind,
-
I shall take the veil
and the orange blossom
-
and change my name
to Lady Charles Fotheringail.
-
- Can't you get him
to change his name instead?
-
The only thing I like about him
is his moustache.
-
- You're a couple of cynics.
I'm very fond of him.
-
- Well, I'm fond of rabbits,
but they have to be kept down.
-
- Rudolph,
give me a hand.
-
- Have you ever read about
that little thing called love?
-
- It used to be
very popular.
-
- Child, the carpet
is already laid
-
at St. George's,
Hanover Square,
-
and Father
is simply aching
-
to have a coat of arms
on the jam label.
-
- To Iris and the happy days
she's leaving behind.
-
- And the blue-blooded
check chaser
-
she's dashing to London
to marry.
-
- The blue-blooded
check chaser.
-
- I've no regrets.
-
I've been everywhere
and done everything.
-
I've eaten caviar at Cannes,
sausage rolls at the dogs.
-
I've played baccarat
at Biarritz
-
and darts
with the rural dean.
-
What is there left for me
but...marriage?
-
[both speaking Bandrikan]
-
- [scoffs]
-
- It's this hanging about
that gets me.
-
If only we knew
what was happening in England.
-
- Mustn't lose grip,
Charters.
-
[knock at door]
-
Come in.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
[groans]
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Did you
follow that?
-
- I did.
-
Tell her this
has gone far enough.
-
- No...no change...
-
change here.
-
Um, outside.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- She doesn't understand.
-
- No. Come on.
-
thud!
-
thud!
-
Nothing newer
than last month.
-
- I don't suppose
there is such a thing
-
as a wireless set
hereabouts.
-
- Awful being in the dark
like this, you know, Caldicott,
-
our communications cut off
in a time of crisis.
-
- Allo, allo, allo,
London?
-
You want Mr. Seltzer?
-
Yes. Hold on.
-
I'm going right
to find where he is.
-
- London.
-
- Go on. Risk it.
-
- Hello, hello, you,
you in London.
-
Huh? No, no, no,
I'm not Mr. Seltzer.
-
Name's Charters.
-
I don't suppose
you know me.
-
Huh?
-
Well, you needn't worry.
They've just gone to fetch him.
-
Tell me, what's happening
to England?
-
Blowing a gale?
-
No, you don't
follow me, sir.
-
I'm inquiring about
the test match in Manchester.
-
Cricket, sir, cricket!
-
What, you don't know?
-
You can't be in England
and not know the test score.
-
Fellow says
he doesn't know.
-
- Oh, silly arse.
-
- Hello, can't you
find out?
-
Oh, nonsense.
It won't take a second.
-
All right, if you won't,
you won't.
-
Wasting my time.
The fellow's an ignoramus.
-
- Mr. Seltzer, at last your call
come through to London.
-
Hello!
-
Hello, hello!
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
[man and woman
speaking a foreign language]
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Thank you, waiter.
-
- [repeating Bandrikan phrase]
-
- What would you say
to a grilled steak?
-
- That's
a very good idea.
-
- Well done for me,
please.
-
- On the red side
for me.
-
- [repeating Bandrikan phrase]
-
- These people have a passion
for repeating themselves.
-
- Ahem.
I beg your pardon.
-
- He's trying
to explain to you
-
that owing to the large number
of visitors,
-
there's no food left.
-
- No food?
-
What sort of place
is this?
-
They expect us to share
a blasted dog box
-
with a servant girl
on an empty stomach?
-
Is that hospitality?
Is that organization?
-
Oh, thank you.
-
- I'm hungry,
you know.
-
- What a country.
-
I don't wonder
they have revolutions.
-
- You're very welcome
to what's left of the cheese.
-
Of course,
it's not like beefsteak,
-
but it's awfully rich
in vitamins.
-
- Oh, really,
thank you very much.
-
- I'm afraid
they're not accustomed
-
to catering
for so many people.
-
Bandrika is one of Europe's
few undiscovered corners.
-
- Yes, that's probably
because there's nothing
-
worth discovering,
I should think.
-
- You may not know it
as well as I do.
-
I'm feeling quite miserable
at the thought of leaving it.
-
- After you with the cheese,
please.
-
- Certainly, old man.
Why not?
-
So you're going home.
-
- Tomorrow.
-
My little charges
are quite grown up.
-
I am a governess
and music teacher, you know.
-
In the six years
I've lived here,
-
I've grown to love the country,
especially the mountains.
-
I sometimes think they're like
very friendly neighbors,
-
you know, the big
father and mother mountain
-
with their white snow hats
-
and their nephews and nieces,
not quite so big,
-
with smaller hats,
-
right down
to the tiniest hillock
-
without any hat at all.
-
Well, of course,
that's just my fancy.
-
- Oh, really?
-
- I like to watch them
from my bedroom
-
every night
when there's a moon.
-
I'm so glad
there's a moon tonight.
-
Do you hear that music?
-
[man vocalizing]
-
Everyone sings here.
-
The people are just like
happy children,
-
with laughter on their lips
and music in their hearts.
-
- It's not reflected
in their politics, you know.
-
- I never think you should judge
any country by its politics.
-
After all, we English
are quite honest by nature,
-
aren't we?
-
You'll excuse me
if I run away?
-
- Good night.
Good night.
-
- Good night.
-
Queer sort of bird.
-
- Trifle whimsical,
I thought.
-
- After six years in this hole,
we'd be whimsical.
-
- Oh, I don't think so,
old man.
-
She was very decent
about that cheese.
-
- I see she's finished
the pickles.
-
- Good night, Iris.
-
Listen,
someone's serenading.
-
- Oh, let him.
-
Nothing will keep me
awake tonight.
-
Good night,
my children.
-
[door clicks shut]
-
[man vocalizing]
-
[loud rhythmic thumping]
-
- What's happening,
an earthquake?
-
- That would hardly account
for the music, would it?
-
What a horrible noise.
-
What could they be doing?
-
- I don't know,
but I'll soon find out.
-
Hello.
-
Musical country, this.
-
- Yes, I feel quite sorry
for that poor singer outside,
-
having to compete
with this.
-
- Boris,
Miss Henderson speaking.
-
Look, someone upstairs
-
is playing musical chairs
with an elephant.
-
Move one of them out, will you?
I want to get some sleep.
-
All right.
-
That ought to settle it.
-
- Thank you so.
-
Some people have so little
consideration for others,
-
which makes life so much
more difficult than it need be.
-
Don't you think?
-
Good night.
Thank you so much.
-
I expect you'll be going
for the train in the morning?
-
- Yes.
-
- I hope we shall meet again
under quieter circumstances.
-
Good night.
-
- Good night.
-
[speaking Italian]
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
Miss, please,
I'll fix everything.
-
- You'd better.
-
[knocking]
-
- Hold it.
-
Splendid, don't move.
Don't move.
-
- [clears throat]
Uh...
-
If you please, sir.
-
- Get out!
-
One, two.
-
[music and stomping resume]
-
- Please, sir,
will you kindly stop?
-
They are all complaining
-
in the hotel.
-
You make too much noise.
-
- Too much what?
-
- [meekly]
Too much noise.
-
- You dare
to call it a noise,
-
the ancient music with which
your peasant ancestors
-
celebrated every wedding
for countless generations.
-
They danced--
-
they danced when your father
married your mother,
-
always supposing you were born
in wedlock, which I doubt.
-
Look at them.
-
I take it you're the manager
of this hovel.
-
- Sure, I am the manager
of this hotel.
-
- Well, fortunately,
I'm accustomed to squalor.
-
Tell me,
who's complaining?
-
- This young English lady
underneath.
-
- Well, you tell the young
English lady underneath
-
that I am putting on record
for the benefit of mankind
-
one of the lost folk dances
of central Europe,
-
and furthermore,
she does not own the hotel.
-
- But, sir,
don't you understand?
-
- Now, one, two...
-
[music and stomping resume]
-
- You know what he said?
-
"Who she think she is,
the queen of Sheba?
-
She think
she owns this hotel?"
-
- Well, can't you
get rid of him?
-
- Impossible.
-
- Are you sure?
-
- I begin to wonder...
-
It's come back to me.
I've got an idea.
-
You see,
the German lady,
-
she will call him up
on the telephone,
-
and she say,
"Young man, it's my room.
-
I did pay for it.
Get out quickly."
-
How's that, huh?
-
- Good enough.
-
We'll eject him
with a little...
-
He'll never forget
as long as he live.
-
- Nothing but baseball.
-
You know,
we used to call it rounders.
-
Children play it
with a rubber ball and a stick.
-
Not a word about cricket.
-
Americans got no sense
of proportion.
-
[knock at door]
-
Come in.
-
[whistling]
-
[whistling]
-
- Gute Nacht.
-
I can't stand
this ridiculous lack of privacy.
-
Lock the door.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Oh!
-
- Gute Nacht.
-
- Who are you?
-
What do you want?
-
[plays jaunty tune]
-
- Recognize the signature tune?
-
- Will you please get out?
-
- Oh, this is
a much better room.
-
Definitely
an acceptable room.
-
- What exactly
do you think you're doing?
-
Keep away.
-
- Would you hold those
for a minute?
-
- Put those back
at once.
-
- Now, which side
do you like to sleep?
-
- Do you want me
to throw you out?
-
- Oh, in that case,
I'll sleep in the middle.
-
Smart of you
to bribe the manager.
-
An eye for an eye
and a tooth for a toothbrush.
-
- I suppose you realize
-
you're behaving
like a complete cad.
-
- On the contrary.
-
You're perfectly at liberty
to sleep in the corridor
-
if you want to.
-
- Hello.
-
- Oh, I shouldn't
if I were you.
-
I'd only tell everyone
you invited me here.
-
And when I say everyone,
I mean everyone.
-
And I have
a powerful voice.
-
- Come out of there at once!
-
- Not until you bribe the manager
to restore me to my attic.
-
- Come out of that bathroom!
-
- [humming]
-
- Hello, Boris?
-
Look, I was thinking
I might change my mind
-
about that room upstairs if--
-
- Oh, by the way,
-
you might have my things
taken upstairs.
-
Would you?
-
- You're the most
contemptible person
-
I've ever met
in all my life!
-
- [whispering]
Well, confidentially,
-
I think you're
a bit of a stinker too.
-
[man humming]
-
- Ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah
-
Ah-ah-ah,
ah, ah-ah
-
Ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah
-
Ah-ah, ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah
-
[grunts]
-
[coin clinks]
-
Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee-dee
-
Da-da-da,
da, da-dee
-
Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee-dee
-
- Well, if we get
to Basle on time,
-
we should see
the last day of the match.
-
- I hope the weather's
like this in Manchester.
-
Perfect wicket
for our fellows.
-
- Isn't it
somewhere along here?
-
- If you don't hurry,
Margaret,
-
we shan't get that compartment
to ourselves.
-
- Does it matter?
-
- Well, there's still time
to change your mind, Iris.
-
- Yes, why not send Charles
a greetings telegram
-
and tell him
he's all washed up?
-
- No, it's too late.
-
This time next week, I shall be
a slightly sunburnt offering
-
on an altar
in Hanover Square.
-
I shan't mind, really.
-
- Oh, good morning.
-
I can't find my bag.
-
It's a brown holdall,
you know.
-
Have you seen--
-
No, of course not.
Thank you.
-
Well, I gave it
to the porter.
-
I can't imagine
where he left it.
-
- Oh, she dropped
her glasses.
-
Say, you dropped
your glasses.
-
- Oh, thank you,
my dear.
-
Oh, dear,
oh, dear, oh, dear!
-
- Darling,
are you hurt?
-
- I don't know.
-
What was it?
-
[man muttering in Bandrikan]
-
- Never mind about that.
-
This cockeyed station
of yours
-
has practically brained
my friend.
-
- Yes, indeed.
-
- Well, what are you
going to do about it?
-
[man mutters]
-
- He says he cannot
hold the train.
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
- Hurry up.
It's going.
-
- I'll be all right, really.
-
- Are you sure?
-
Be careful, now.
Be careful.
-
- Don't worry.
I'll look after her.
-
Such carelessness.
-
- Are you sure
you're all right?
-
- Send us a copy
of the "Times."
-
- Write and tell us
all about it.
-
- Good luck.
-
Look after yourself.
-
- There, there.
-
You'll be all right
in a minute.
-
Just take everything quietly.
-
Put some of this eau de cologne
on your head.
-
Do you feel any better?
-
- Yes, thank you.
I'm all right now.
-
- What you need
is a good strong cup of tea.
-
I'll ring
for the attendant.
-
- No, no,
please don't bother.
-
I'll go to the dining car
myself.
-
I need some air.
-
- Oh, well, in that case,
I'll come with you--
-
if you don't mind,
that is.
-
- No, of course not.
-
- Oh, I beg your pardon.
-
I'm so sorry.
-
You can always tell
a honeymoon couple, you know.
-
They're so shy.
-
- Why did you do that?
-
- We don't want people
staring at us.
-
- Anyone would think
the whole legal profession
-
were dogging you.
-
- One would be enough.
-
- You even thought
that beggar in Damascus
-
was a barrister
in disguise.
-
- I merely said his face
-
was distinguished enough
for a judge.
-
- You hurried off
in the opposite direction,
-
I noticed.
-
- That's not true.
-
I was looking for a street
called Straight.
-
- You weren't so careful
the first few days.
-
- I know. I know.
-
- And anyway, as for you
meeting someone you know,
-
what about me?
-
Robert thinks
I'm cruising with Mother.
-
- If one's feeling
a little bit shaky,
-
I always think it's best to sit
in the middle of the coach,
-
preferably
facing the engine.
-
A pot of tea for two,
please.
-
- Very good.
-
- Oh, and just a minute.
-
Will you please tell them
to make it from this?
-
I don't drink
any other.
-
And make absolutely sure
-
that the water
is really boiling.
-
You understand?
-
It's a little fad
of mine.
-
My dear father and mother,
who I'm thankful to say
-
are still alive
and enjoying good health,
-
invariably drink it,
-
and so I followed
their footsteps.
-
Do you know
a million Mexicans drink it?
-
At least that's what it says
on the packet.
-
- It's very kind of you
to help me like this.
-
I don't think
we've introduced ourselves.
-
My name's Iris Henderson.
-
I'm going home
to be married.
-
- Really?
Oh, how very exciting.
-
I do hope
you'll be happy.
-
- Thank you.
-
- You'll have children,
won't you?
-
They make such a difference.
-
I always think it's being
with kiddies so much
-
that's made me, if I may say so,
young for my age.
-
I'm a governess, you know.
-
My name's Froy.
[train whistle shrills]
-
- Did you say Freud?
-
- No, O-Y, not E-U-D.
-
Froy.
-
- I'm sorry.
I can't hear.
-
- Froy.
-
It rhymes with "joy."
-
Thank you.
-
Please reserve two places
for lunch, will you?
-
That is if you'd care
to have it with me.
-
- Of course.
-
- There's nothing moot
about it.
-
Simply wasn't out,
that's all.
-
But for the umpire's blunder,
he'd probably still be batting.
-
- What do you mean?
I don't understand.
-
- I'll show you.
Look here.
-
I saw the whole thing.
-
Now, then,
there's Hammond.
-
There's the bowler.
-
There's the umpire.
-
- Sugar?
-
- Two, please.
-
- Dear me.
-
There is no sugar.
-
- Now, watch this
very, very carefully, Caldicott.
-
Grimmett was bowling.
-
- May I trouble you
for the sugar, please?
-
- What?
-
- The sugar, please.
-
Thank you so much.
-
If I were you,
I'd try and get a little sleep.
-
It'll make you feel
quite well again.
-
There's a most intriguing
acrostic in the "Needlewoman."
-
I'm going to try and unravel it
before you wake up.
-
[laughter]
-
[Froy humming]
-
Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee-dee
-
Da-da-da, da
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
[man speaking
a foreign language]
-
- Reservations
for lunch, please.
-
- Have been made.
-
- Da?
-
- Bin da.
-
- Madame has booked
for lunch?
-
- Oh, I think
my friend did.
-
She's got
the tickets.
-
Have you seen
my friend?
-
- No.
-
- My friend,
where is she?
-
La signora inglese,
-
the English lady,
where is she?
-
- There has been
no English lady here.
-
- What?
-
- There has been
no English lady here.
-
- But there has.
She sat there in the corner.
-
You saw her.
You spoke to her.
-
She sat next to you.
-
But it's ridiculous.
-
She took me to the dining car
and came back here with me.
-
- You went
and came back alone.
-
- Maybe you don't understand.
-
I mean the lady
who looked after me
-
when I was knocked out.
-
- Ah, perhaps it make you
forget, eh?
-
- Well, I may be
very dense,
-
but if this is
some sort of a joke,
-
I'm afraid
I don't see the point.
-
Oh, steward,
you served me tea just now.
-
- Yes, madame.
-
- Well, have you seen
the lady I was with,
-
the English lady?
-
- But madame was alone.
-
- [man speaking Bandrikan]
-
Pardon, madame.
He make mistake.
-
- Well, of course.
-
He must remember
the little English lady.
-
She ordered the tea
and paid for it.
-
- No, it is you
who paid.
-
[both speaking Bandrikan]
-
- He say to look at the bill.
I will look, madame.
-
- But she gave you
a special packet of tea.
-
You can't
have forgotten that.
-
- The tea was ours, madame.
I received no packet.
-
- But you did.
I know what happened.
-
- Pardon, madame, the bill:
tea for one.
-
- But that's not right.
-
- Perhaps madame would care
to examine the bills herself.
-
- No, I wouldn't.
The whole thing's too absurd.
-
Please, have you seen
a lady pass through?
-
Oh.
-
- Well, well,
if it isn't old stinker.
-
If I thought you were going
to be on this train,
-
I'd have stayed another week
in the hotel.
-
Lady? No, why?
-
- It doesn't matter.
-
You probably wouldn't
recognize one anyway.
-
- Hello. Feeling queer?
-
- It's that pipe of yours,
George.
-
Why don't you throw
your old socks away?
-
Never mind.
-
Thanks for the help
all the same.
-
Come on, sit down.
Take it easy.
-
What's the trouble?
-
- If you must know,
something fell on my head.
-
- When, infancy?
-
- At the station.
-
- Oh, bad luck.
Can I help?
-
- No, only by going away.
-
- No, no, no, no,
my father always taught me:
-
never desert
a lady in trouble.
-
He even carried that
as far as marrying Mother.
-
- I say, did you see
a little lady
-
last night in the hotel
in tweeds?
-
- I only saw
one little lady.
-
She was hardly
in tweeds.
-
- Yes, but she was
in my compartment,
-
and now I can't find her.
-
- She must be
still on the train.
-
We haven't stopped
since we started.
-
- Of course she's still
on the train; I know that.
-
- All right, all right.
Nobody said she isn't.
-
- Yes, but that's just
what they are saying.
-
- Who?
-
- The rest of the people
in the compartment
-
and the stewards.
-
They insist
they never saw her.
-
- All of them?
- All of them.
-
- You were saying you got
a knock on the head?
-
- What do you mean?
-
- Never mind.
Do you talk the lingo?
-
- No.
-
- Oh, well,
they probably thought
-
you were trying
to borrow some money.
-
Come on, let's knock the idea
out of their stupid heads.
-
A most unfortunate remark.
I beg your pardon.
-
[speaking Italian]
-
- That's one of them,
the little dark man.
-
- I say, excuse me.
-
I think there's been
a little misunderstanding.
-
This young lady seems
to have lost her friend.
-
- Yes, I have heard.
-
This gentleman
has been explaining to me.
-
It's most interesting.
-
And I think,
under the circumstances,
-
we shall all
introduce ourselves.
-
- I am Italian citizen.
-
My wife and child.
-
- How do you do?
-
Oh, bonny little chap.
How old is he?
-
- 1934 class, si.
-
And the lady in the corner:
Isabel Nisatona.
-
- Oh, yes,
I met her husband.
-
He presented prizes
at the Folk Dance Festival.
-
Minister of Propaganda.
-
- And I am Dr. Egon Hartz
of Prague.
-
You may have heard of me.
-
- Not the brain specialist.
-
- Yes, the same.
-
- Oh, yes, you flew
over to England the other day
-
and operated on one
of our cabinet ministers.
-
- Oh, yes.
-
- Tell me,
did you find anything?
-
- A slight
cerebral contusion.
-
- Oh, well, that's better
than nothing.
-
- But I am picking up
a similar case
-
at the next station
-
but so much
more complicated.
-
I shall operate at
the National Hospital tonight.
-
Among other things,
-
a cranial fracture
with compression.
-
Do you understand?
-
- Oh, yes,
a wallop on the bean.
-
- I suppose you
haven't seen my friend.
-
- Unfortunately, no.
-
- I'll just take a word
with the baroness.
-
Excuse me.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
[speaking Italian]
-
[speaking Italian]
-
- What do they say?
-
- Well, they both say
they've never seen her.
-
- But that's not true.
She was sitting where you are.
-
- Can you
describe her?
-
- Well, it's a bit
difficult, you see.
-
She was sort of middle-aged
and ordinary.
-
- Well, what
was she wearing?
-
Tweeds,
oatmeal flecked with brown,
-
a three-quarter coat
with patch pockets,
-
a scarf, felt hat,
brown shoes, a tussah shirt,
-
and a small blue handkerchief
in her breast pocket.
-
I can't remember
any more.
-
- You couldn't have been
paying attention.
-
Now, listen.
-
You both went along
to tea?
-
- Yes.
-
- Well, surely
you met somebody.
-
- Well, I suppose
we did, but--
-
Wait a moment.
Let me think.
-
Oh, yes, there was an Englishman
who passed the sugar.
-
- Right you are.
-
Now, let's go along
and dig him out.
-
- Pardon.
May I come with you?
-
This is most
interesting to me.
-
- Well, we don't like people
muscling in,
-
but we'll make you
a member.
-
- Wait a moment.
There was somebody else.
-
As we passed this compartment,
Miss Froy stumbled in.
-
There was a tall gentleman
and a lady.
-
- All right, now we're
getting somewhere.
-
If we can really find
someone who saw her,
-
we'll have the place
searched.
-
- Can I be
of any assistance?
-
- That's the gentleman.
-
- Well, do you happen to remember
seeing this young lady
-
pass the compartment
with a little Englishwoman?
-
- I'm afraid not.
-
- But you must have!
-
She almost fell
into your compartment.
-
Surely you haven't
forgotten.
-
It's very important.
-
Everybody's saying
she wasn't on the train,
-
but I know she is,
and I'm going to find her
-
even if I have to stop
the train to do it.
-
[knocks]
-
- I say, Caldicott,
this is Charters.
-
Can I come in?
-
You know that girl
we saw at the hotel?
-
She's back there
kicking up a devil of a fuss.
-
Says she's lost
her friend.
-
- Well, she hasn't been
in here, old man.
-
- But the point is, she threatens
to stop the train.
-
- Oh, Lord.
-
- If we miss
our connection at Basle,
-
we'll never make
Manchester in time.
-
- This is serious.
-
- Let's hide in here.
-
- I'm sorry, I haven't
the faintest recollection.
-
You must be making
a mistake.
-
- Well, he obviously
doesn't remember.
-
Let's go and look
for the other fellow.
-
- Who were you
talking to outside?
-
- Hmm?
-
Oh, nobody, just some people
in the corridor arguing.
-
- There he is.
That's the man.
-
- Oh, oh, I say.
I'm so sorry.
-
I wonder
if I can bother you.
-
I wonder
if you can help us.
-
How?
-
- Well, I was having tea
about an hour ago
-
with an English lady.
-
You saw her,
didn't you?
-
- Well, I don't know,
I mean, definitely.
-
I was talking to my friend,
wasn't I?
-
- Indubitably.
-
- Yes, but you were sitting
at the next table.
-
She turned
and borrowed the sugar.
-
You must remember.
-
- Oh, yes, I recall
passing the sugar.
-
- Well, then you saw her.
-
I repeat, we were deep
in conversation.
-
We were discussing
cricket.
-
- Well, I don't see
how a thing like cricket
-
can make you forget
seeing people.
-
- Oh, don't you?
-
Well, if that's
your attitude,
-
obviously there's
nothing more to be said.
-
Come, Caldicott.
-
"Thing like cricket."
-
- Hmm, wrong tactics.
-
We should have told him
-
we were looking
for a lost cricket ball.
-
- Yes, but he spoke to her.
-
There must be
some explanation.
-
- There is.
-
Please forgive me.
-
I'm quite possibly wrong,
but I have known cases
-
where a sudden
shock or blow
-
has induced
the most vivid impressions.
-
- I understand.
-
You don't believe me.
-
- Oh, it's not a question
of belief.
-
Even a simple concussion
-
may have curious effects
upon an imaginative person.
-
- Yes, but I can remember
every little detail:
-
her name, Miss Froy--
everything.
-
- So interesting.
-
You know,
if one had time,
-
one could trace the cause
of the hallucination.
-
- Hallucination?
-
- Oh, precisely.
-
There is no Miss Froy.
-
There never was a Miss Froy,
merely a vivid subjective image.
-
- But I met her last night
at the hotel.
-
- You thought you did.
-
- Yes, but what about
the name?
-
- Oh, some past
association:
-
an advertisement
or a character in a novel
-
subconsciously
remembered.
-
No, there is no reason
to be frightened
-
if you are quiet
and relaxed.
-
- Thank you very much.
-
- Well, if you
will excuse me,
-
this is where my patient
comes aboard.
-
Excuse me.
-
Most interesting.
-
- We're stopping.
-
- This is the first stop,
isn't it?
-
- Mm-hmm.
-
- Well, then Miss Froy
must still be on the train.
-
Look, you look out
of this window
-
and see if she
gets off this side.
-
I'll take the other.
-
- Most interesting.
-
- Oh.
-
- What was she dressed in?
-
Scotch tweeds, wasn't it?
-
- Oatmeal tweeds.
-
- Oh, I knew it had something
to do with porridge.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
- How long does it take
to get a divorce?
-
Eric.
-
- Hmm? Oh, I beg your pardon.
I wasn't listening.
-
- I said how long does it take
to get a divorce?
-
- Oh, that depends.
Why?
-
- I was only wondering
-
whether we could take
our honeymoon next spring.
-
I mean the official one.
-
- The difficulties
are considerable.
-
For one thing, the courts
are very crowded just now.
-
Although I suppose
we barristers
-
ought not to complain
about that.
-
[clears throat]
-
As a matter of fact,
with conditions as they are now,
-
my chances of becoming
a judge are very rosy.
-
You know, that is
if nothing untoward occurs.
-
- Such as you being mixed up
in a divorce case yourself.
-
- Well, yes.
-
- In that first
careless rapture of yours,
-
you said you didn't care
what happened.
-
- My dear, you must think of it
from my point of view.
-
The law, like Caesar's wife,
must be above suspicion.
-
- Even when the law spends
six weeks with Caesar's wife?
-
- Look here.
-
- Now I know why
you've been running around
-
like a scared rabbit,
-
why you lied so deliberately
a few minutes ago.
-
- I lied?
-
- Yes, to those people
in the corridor.
-
I heard every word
you said.
-
- It was merely that I didn't wish
to be mixed up in any inquiry.
-
- Inquiry?
-
Just because a little woman
can't be found?
-
- That girl
was making a fuss.
-
If the woman
had disappeared
-
and I'd admitted
having seen her,
-
we might become
vital witnesses.
-
Why, my name might even appear
in the papers,
-
coupled with yours.
-
Why, a scandal like that
might lead anywhere,
-
anywhere.
-
- Yes, I suppose
it might.
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
- Nobody?
-
- Nobody.
-
- Well, the only thing
that came out my side
-
was two bits of orange peel
and a paper bag.
-
- I know there's a Miss Froy.
She's as real as you are.
-
- Yes, that's what you say,
and you believe it,
-
but there doesn't appear to be
anybody else who's seen her.
-
- I saw her,
-
I think.
-
- You did?
-
- A little woman
in tweeds.
-
- Yes.
-
- Wearing
a three-quarter coat.
-
- With a scarf?
- That's right.
-
I saw her with you when you
passed the compartment.
-
- I knew I was right.
-
But your husband said
he hadn't see her.
-
- Oh, he didn't notice,
-
but as soon as he mentioned it,
I remembered at once.
-
- You win.
-
You know,
this calls for action.
-
Do you prefer
to make a statement?
-
- Of course,
if it helps.
-
- Pardon, my patient
has just arrived,
-
the most fascinating
complication.
-
- We have some news
for you.
-
- This lady
actually saw Miss Froy.
-
- So.
-
- We're going to have
the train searched.
-
- You'll have to think
of a fresh theory now, Doctor.
-
- It is not necessary.
-
My theory was
a perfectly good one.
-
The facts
were misleading.
-
I hope you will find
your friend.
-
Excuse me.
-
- I'll be in here
if you want me.
-
- Right you are.
Come along.
-
- Eric.
-
I was only
going to mention
-
that I told that girl
I'd seen her friend.
-
- What's that?
-
Have you taken leave
of your senses?
-
- On the contrary,
I've come to them.
-
- What do you mean?
-
- If there's a scandal,
there'd be a divorce.
-
You couldn't let me down,
could you?
-
You'd have to do
the decent thing
-
as reluctantly
as only you know how.
-
- You forget one very important
thing, Margaret:
-
your husband would divorce you,
I've no doubt.
-
But whatever happens,
my wife will never divorce me.
-
- Yes, well, it might seem crazy
to you, but I tell you,
-
you're going to search
the train.
-
- Ah, Signorina...
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
Your friend,
she come back.
-
- Come back?
- Si, si.
-
- But what happened?
-
- Oh, you go see.
She tell you.
-
- Scusi.
- Thanks.
-
All right, Athleston, relax.
The crisis is over.
-
Come on,
let's join the lady.
-
Here we are.
-
- Miss Froy.
-
That isn't Miss Froy.
-
- Isn't it?
-
- No.
-
- I say, this is
a silly thing to say,
-
but are you
Miss Froy?
-
- No, I am
Madame Kummer.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
- She says she helped you
into the carriage
-
after you got the biff
on the head
-
and then went to see
some friends.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- The baroness says that as you
spoke about the English lady,
-
she didn't connect her
with Madame Kummer.
-
- But she wasn't the lady I saw.
It was Miss Froy.
-
- Oatmeal tweeds, blouse,
blue silk handkerchief--
-
- Yes, I know,
everything's the same,
-
but it isn't her.
-
- I beg your pardon.
-
When did you say
you first met this Miss Froy?
-
- Last night
at the hotel.
-
- Oh, and was she wearing
a costume like this?
-
- Yes, I think so.
-
- Then I must apologize.
-
You did meet her
after all.
-
- Then--
-
- But not on this train.
-
In your subconscious mind,
-
you substituted for the face
of Madame Kummer
-
that of Miss Froy.
-
- But I didn't.
I couldn't have, I tell you.
-
I talked to her here.
-
- That's very easily settled.
-
There's an Englishwoman
on the train
-
who said she saw her.
-
If this lady wouldn't mind,
Madame--
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- [speaking French]
-
What a gift for languages
the fellow's got.
-
[knocks]
-
I'm so sorry.
-
Would you tell us, please,
is this the woman you saw?
-
- It isn't a bit
like her, is it?
-
- Yes, she's the woman.
-
- But it isn't, I tell you.
It isn't.
-
- Are you sure?
-
- Perfectly.
-
- She isn't.
She isn't.
-
[both speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Well, come on, then.
-
I'm so sorry
to have troubled you.
-
- Well, aren't you
going to say anything?
-
You might at least gloat
if nothing else.
-
- What am I expected to say?
-
You only did it
to save your own skin.
-
- She was lying.
I saw it in her face.
-
They're all lying.
But why, why?
-
- Now, now, why don't you sit down
and take it easy?
-
- Do you believe this nonsense
about substituting
-
Miss Froy's face
for Madame Kummer's?
-
- Well, I think any change
would be an improvement.
-
- Listen, Miss Froy was
on this train, I know she was,
-
and nothing will
convince me otherwise.
-
Must you follow me around
like a pet dog?
-
- Oh, well, let's say
a watchdog.
-
I've got all
the better instincts.
-
- Good-bye.
-
The doctor was right.
You're all right.
-
I never saw Miss Froy
on the train.
-
It didn't happen,
I know now.
-
- Ah, I'm glad you're going
to take it like that.
-
What you want to do
is to forget all about it.
-
Just make your mind
a complete blank.
-
You know? Watch me.
You can't go wrong.
-
What about a spot
of something to eat?
-
- Anything.
-
- That's right.
Come along.
-
- Ah, this way,
please.
-
- Oh, thank you.
- Merci.
-
Would you like
a little air?
-
- Thanks.
-
- Do you think
you can eat anything?
-
- I could try.
-
- That's the spirit.
-
You'll feel a different girl
tomorrow.
-
- I hope so.
-
I don't want to meet my fiance
a nervous wreck.
-
- Your what?
-
- I'm being married
on Thursday.
-
- Quite sure
you're not imagining that?
-
- Positive.
-
- Oh, I was afraid so.
-
Aha, food.
-
- I couldn't face it.
-
- Well, you well best.
-
Do you mind if I talk
with my mouth full?
-
- If you must.
-
- Well, now, would you like
to hear about my early life?
-
- I don't think so.
-
- Well, since you press me,
I'll begin with my father.
-
You know, it's remarkable
-
how many great men
began with their father.
-
Oh, something to drink?
-
- No--
-
Oh, yes, I will.
A cup of tea, please.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
You know, my father
was a very colorful character.
-
Amongst other things,
he was strongly addicted to...
-
you'll never guess.
-
- Harriman's Herbal Tea.
-
- No, wrong,
double scotch.
-
- A million Mexicans
drink it.
-
- Maybe they do,
but Father didn't.
-
- Miss Froy gave the waiter
a packet of it.
-
- A packet of what?
-
- Harriman's Herbal Tea.
-
She said it was
the only sort she liked.
-
- Now, look here,
I thought we'd agreed
-
that you were going to make
your mind a complete blank.
-
- But it's so real.
I'm sure it happened.
-
- Did we or did we not?
-
- We did.
-
Sorry.
-
Go on telling me
about your father.
-
- Well, my father
was a very remarkable man.
-
- Did he play
the clarinet?
-
- Incessantly.
-
In fact,
he never put it down
-
unless it became
absolutely necessary.
-
Well, naturally,
-
I couldn't help inheriting
his love of music.
-
- Why not?
-
- Well, that was all
he left me.
-
You know,
you're remarkably attractive.
-
Has anyone ever told you?
-
- We were discussing you.
-
- Ah, yes, of course.
-
Do you like me?
-
- Not much.
-
- Well, after I'd paid
my father's debts,
-
I started to travel
-
until they tried
to cash the checks.
-
For the moment, you know,
-
I'm writing a book
on folk dancing.
-
Would you like
to buy a copy?
-
- I'd love to.
-
When does it see
the light of day?
-
- About four years.
-
- That's a very long time.
-
- It's a very long book.
-
Do you know
why you fascinate me?
-
I'll tell you.
-
You've got two great qualities
I used to admire in Father.
-
You haven't
any manners at all,
-
and you're always
seeing things.
-
What's the matter?
-
- Look!
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
It's gone!
-
- What's gone?
-
- Miss Froy's name
on the window.
-
You saw it.
You must have seen it.
-
She's on the train.
-
- Now, steady,
steady.
-
Excuse me.
Thank you very much.
-
- No, no,
we've got to find her.
-
Something's happening
to her.
-
Stop the train.
-
Listen, everybody.
-
There's a woman on this train,
Miss Froy.
-
Some of you
must have seen her.
-
They're hiding her somewhere.
-
I appeal to you, all of you,
to stop the train.
-
Please help me.
-
Please make them
stop the train.
-
Do you hear?
-
Why don't you do something
before it's too late?
-
- Please, please.
-
- I know you think I'm crazy,
but I'm not. I'm not!
-
For heaven's sake,
stop this train.
-
- Now, come.
-
- Leave me alone.
Leave me alone!
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
[brakes screeching]
-
- Huh, ten minutes late
thanks to that fool of a girl.
-
If she gets up
to any more of her tricks,
-
we shall be too late
for the last day of the match.
-
- I suppose you couldn't
put it to her in some way.
-
- What?
-
- Well, people just don't vanish
and so forth.
-
- But she has.
-
- What?
-
- Vanished.
-
- Who?
-
- The old dame.
-
- Yes.
-
- Well?
-
- Well, how could she?
-
- What?
-
- Vanish.
-
- I don't know.
-
- That just explains
my point.
-
People don't just disappear
into thin air.
-
- It's done in India.
-
- What?
-
- The rope trick.
-
- Oh, that.
-
It never comes out
in a photograph.
-
- Look, now,
in half an hour,
-
we'll stop at Morsken,
just before the border.
-
I will leave there
with my patient
-
for the National Hospital.
-
If you will come with me,
-
you could stay overnight
in a private ward.
-
You need peace and rest.
-
- Sorry,
nothing doing.
-
- Isn't there anything
we can do?
-
- Yes, find Miss Froy.
-
- I tell you,
my friend,
-
if she does not rest,
I will not answer for her.
-
It will be best
if you persuade her.
-
She likes you.
-
- I'm just about as popular
as a dose of strychnine.
-
- Well, if you coat it with sugar,
she may swallow it.
-
- Cosmopolitan train, this.
-
People of all nations.
-
I've just seen
at least a million Mexicans
-
in the corridor.
-
Well, I thought
I'd look in
-
to tell you to think over
what Dr. Hartz said.
-
If you feel like
changing your mind,
-
I'll be hanging around.
-
- What's all the mystery?
-
- You're right.
Miss Froy is on this train.
-
I've just seen the packet of tea
that you were talking about.
-
They chucked it out
with the rubbish.
-
- Trifle late, aren't you?
She may be dead by now.
-
- Dead or a--
-
Of course, for sheer variety,
give me an English summer.
-
I remember once spending
a bank holiday at Brighton.
-
We're going to search
this train.
-
There's something
definitely queer in the air.
-
Ooh, looks like supply service
for trunk murderers.
-
- Look at that.
-
- It's all right, Miss Froy.
It's only us.
-
- Hurry up.
Quickly.
-
[both laughing]
-
- Well, perhaps
it's Miss Froy bewitched.
-
You never know.
-
Well, anyway,
I refuse to be discouraged.
-
Faint hearts
never find old ladies.
-
Wait.
-
By the way, do you know
anything about her?
-
- No, only that she was
a governess going back home.
-
What is this thing?
-
- Can't imagine.
-
Anyway, there might be
something down here.
-
both: Oh!
-
- What on Earth?
-
- Our Italian friend.
-
I've got it.
Wait a minute.
-
- There you are,
the Great Doppo.
-
[muttering quietly]
-
His visiting card.
Look.
-
- What's it say?
-
- "The Great Doppo,
-
"magician, illusionist,
mind reader,
-
"will visit all principal
towns and cities.
-
"See his fascinating act,
The Vanishing L--
-
Lady."
-
- The Vanishing Lady.
-
- Perhaps that's
the explanation.
-
- What?
-
- Maybe he's practicing
on Miss Froy.
-
- Well, perhaps
it's a publicity stunt.
-
- No, I don't think so.
-
That wouldn't account for
the Baroness or Madame Kummer.
-
- Well, what's your theory?
-
- Oh, I don't know.
My theory?
-
I'll tell you.
-
- Oh, dear.
-
I can't get this one.
-
That one.
-
Where are you?
-
- I'm in here with a strong smell
of camphor balls.
-
- I can't see you.
-
- I'm about somewhere.
-
Here I am.
-
Where are you?
-
- I don't know.
-
- This is what comes
of not saying "abracadabra."
-
- Ooh!
-
- Are you hurt?
-
- Ouch!
-
- Come on, out of it,
Oscar.
-
- Not much.
-
- Come and sit down
over here.
-
- What is that thing?
-
- Well, in magic circles,
-
we call it
a disappearing cabinet.
-
You get inside and vanish.
-
- Mm, so I noticed.
-
You were about to tell me
of your theory.
-
- Oh, my theory.
-
Well, my theory,
my dear Watson,
-
is that we are
in very deep waters indeed.
-
- Ahem.
-
- Oh, thank you very much.
-
Let us marshal our facts
-
over a pipeful
of Baker Street shag.
-
In the first place,
a little old lady disappears.
-
Everyone that saw her
promptly insists
-
that she was
never there at all.
-
Right?
- Right.
-
We know that she was.
-
Therefore,
they did see her.
-
Therefore, they are
deliberately lying.
-
Why?
-
- I don't know.
I'm only Watson.
-
- Well, don't bury yourself
in the part.
-
I'll tell you why.
-
Because they daren't face
an inquiry,
-
because Miss Froy is probably
still somewhere on this train.
-
- I told you that
hours ago.
-
- Ah, yes,
so you did.
-
For that,
my dear Watson,
-
you shall have
a trichinopoly cigar.
-
- Mm, thank you.
-
- Now, there's only one thing
left to do, you know:
-
search the train
in disguise.
-
- As what?
-
- Well...
[clears throat]
-
Old English gentleman.
-
- They'd see through you.
-
- Perhaps you're right.
-
- Aha.
-
Will Hay, for instance.
-
"Now, boys, boys, which of you
has stolen Miss Froy?
-
Own up. Own up."
-
- Those glasses.
- What?
-
- Give them to me.
- Why?
-
- They're Miss Froy's.
- Are you sure?
-
- Yes, they're exactly the same,
gold-rimmed--
-
Where did you find them?
-
- Well, down here on the floor.
The glass is broken.
-
- Well, probably
in the struggle.
-
- Pick up the glass.
-
Do you realize
that this is our first piece
-
of really tangible proof?
-
That's the lot.
-
- Will you please give me
those spectacles?
-
They belong to me.
-
My spectacles, please.
-
- Yours?
Are you sure?
-
- [speaking Italian]
-
- Ah, naughty, naughty.
-
You know,
that's a very large nose
-
for a very small pair
of spectacles.
-
That's the game, is it?
We'll see about that.
-
Those are Miss Froy's glasses,
and you know it.
-
She's been in here,
and you know that too.
-
Don't stand hopping about there
like a referee; cooperate.
-
Kick him. See if he's got
a false bottom.
-
Ow!
That doesn't help.
-
Quick, pull his ears back.
-
Give them a twist.
-
That's it.
-
Now I've got him.
-
Look out!
He's got a knife!
-
Quick, get ahold of it
before he cuts a slice off me.
-
- Ah!
-
I can't reach it.
-
- Well done.
-
We know
how that thing works.
-
Come out of there.
-
Well, is he out,
do you think?
-
Anyway, we've got
to hide him somewhere.
-
What's in here?
-
- Hurry up, quick,
before he comes to.
-
- It's empty.
Bring him along.
-
Come on.
-
- [gasps]
-
- Oh, no, you don't.
-
Oh.
-
- What's the matter?
-
Garlic.
I'll be all right in a minute.
-
Here, hold on to this.
- Oh, yes.
-
- Let's tie him up.
-
Ah, well, we're getting
somewhere at last.
-
We definitely know that
Miss Froy was on this train,
-
and we know
that our friend in here
-
had something
to do with it.
-
That ought to keep him quiet
until we find her.
-
Ah, hard work
but worth it.
-
Let's have the evidence.
-
- Evidence?
-
- Yes, the glasses.
-
- You've got them.
-
- No, I haven't got them.
-
Oh.
-
He's got them.
-
- He isn't there.
-
- Where--
-
Snookered.
It's a false bottom.
-
That little twister.
He's a contortionist.
-
- He's gone,
all right.
-
- Yes, to find the others
and make more trouble.
-
We're in a nasty jam,
my dear.
-
We can't fight the whole train.
We need allies.
-
- Yes, but who can we trust?
-
- Well, that's the snag.
-
- There's that
Dr. Hartz person.
-
- Yes, you're right.
He might help.
-
Come along.
Let's tell him the symptoms.
-
- All right.
Oh, wait a minute.
-
- This is the one.
-
He's not there.
-
Listen, I've just had
a particularly idiotic idea.
-
- I quite believe that.
-
Well, suppose that patient
in there is Miss Froy.
-
- Yes, but it didn't
come on the train
-
till after Miss Froy
disappeared.
-
- Yes, yes, that's why
it's an idiotic idea.
-
Come on,
let's find the doctor.
-
- No, no, no,
wait a minute.
-
- What is it?
-
- Did you notice anything wrong
about that nun?
-
- No.
-
- I don't think
she's a nun at all.
-
They don't wear
high heels.
-
- Yes, you're right.
-
Listen, did you see
Madame Kummer get on the train?
-
- No.
-
- Well, supposing
they decoyed Miss Froy
-
into the luggage van
and hid her there.
-
The first stop,
the patient comes aboard,
-
head injury,
all wrapped up.
-
The patient
is Madame Kummer.
-
Madame Kummer
becomes Miss Froy.
-
Miss Froy becomes that.
-
- Yes, but why should they go
to all this trouble
-
to kidnap a harmless
little governess?
-
- Maybe it isn't
a governess at all.
-
Perhaps it's some
political thing, you know?
-
Come on.
Let's investigate.
-
Parlez-vous francais?
-
Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
Oh, well, you'll just have
to put up with it in English.
-
Can we take a look
at your patient, please?
-
Thank you.
-
Keep an eye
on the nun.
-
- What are you doing here?
-
Why are you in here?
-
This is the most serious
accident case.
-
You have no business to be here at all,
neither of you.
-
- Dr. Hartz, we want you
to undo those bandages
-
and let us take a look
at your patient's face.
-
- Are you out
of your senses?
-
There is no face there,
-
nothing but lumps
of raw flesh.
-
Already the case
has lost so much blood.
-
Nothing but a transfusion
can save him.
-
What do you want me to do,
murder my patient?
-
You're quite sure that this
is your patient?
-
- We believe
it's Miss Froy.
-
- Miss Froy?
-
You can't be serious.
-
Whatever put such ideas
into your heads?
-
I understand
she is deaf and dumb.
-
- But she may lip-read.
-
- Oh, that's possible.
-
- Well, in that case,
-
perhaps you will join me
in the dining car.
-
I'll be with you
in a moment.
-
I want to be certain my patient
hasn't been disturbed.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
- How the devil do I know
how they cottoned on?
-
Somebody must have
tipped them off.
-
You never said
the old girl was English.
-
- What difference
does that make?
-
In a few moments,
-
I shall order three drinks
in the dining car.
-
Mine will be Chartreuse.
-
Now, one of the stewards
is working for us.
-
Now, listen carefully.
-
- There's that girl again.
-
- Seems to have recovered.
-
Lucky it blew over.
-
- And now perhaps you'll tell me
what's all about.
-
- Now, listen, Doctor,
-
have you ever
actually seen your patient?
-
- No, I merely received a message
to pick the case up
-
and operate at Morsken.
-
- How do you know
that it's not Miss Froy?
-
- We believe there's been
a substitution, Doctor.
-
- Really, you mean to say that
you think that someone has--
-
- Dum, dum, dum.
-
- Oh, I want
a green Chartreuse.
-
Won't you join me?
-
- Oh, thanks,
I'd like a large brandy.
-
- And you?
-
- Oh, I don't want any,
thank you.
-
- Oh, come on,
it'll do you good.
-
- No, really,
I don't.
-
- You're very tired.
It'll pick you up.
-
- All right, then,
just a small one.
-
- Two brandies
and a Chartreuse.
-
- Tell me, do you know
anything about the nun
-
who is looking after
your patient?
-
- Nun?
-
No, only that she
is from a convent
-
close to where
the accident occurred.
-
- Don't you think
it's rather peculiar
-
that she's wearing
high-heeled shoes?
-
- Oh, is she?
-
Well, that is rather curious,
isn't it?
-
- It's a conspiracy.
That's all it can be.
-
All these people on the train
say they haven't seen Miss Froy,
-
but they have.
-
We know that because just now
in the luggage van...
-
- She's off again.
-
- Hope she doesn't create
another scene.
-
Put the lid on our getting back
in time if she did.
-
- And then this fellow
from the carriage--
-
Doppo's his name--
-
he came along
and grabbed the glasses.
-
- Yeah, we went for him
and had a bit of a fight.
-
- Oh, a fight?
- Mm-hmm.
-
- We knocked him out.
-
- Oh!
-
- Shh!
-
- He seems to have made
a speedy recovery.
-
- Yes, all that's just bluff.
-
- Here.
-
- Grazie.
-
- Oh, but how could he
be involved in a conspiracy?
-
Look at him,
the poor fellow.
-
He's just
a harmless traveler.
-
- He's also a music hall artist
making a tour of Bandrika.
-
- Well?
-
- The baroness' husband
is minister of propaganda.
-
One word from her,
and his tour will be canceled.
-
- Oh, I see.
-
- Yes, well, the stewards,
if they don't do what they're told,
-
they've got a nice cozy
brick wall to lean up against.
-
- But tell me about
the two English travelers.
-
They also denied
seeing her?
-
- Yes, just British diplomacy,
Doctor.
-
Never climb a fence
if you can sit on it.
-
It's an old
Foreign Office proverb.
-
- What I cannot understand is,
-
why should anyone want
to dispose of the old lady?
-
- Yes, well,
that's just what stumps us,
-
but all we know is that
she was here on this train,
-
and now she's...
-
gone.
-
- Well, if you're right,
-
it means the whole train
is against us.
-
- Well, what are we
going to do?
-
- Well, in view
of what you just told me,
-
I shall risk
examining the patient.
-
- Come on, now.
-
- One moment.
-
We mustn't act
suspiciously.
-
Behave as if nothing
had happened.
-
Drink; that'll steady
your nerves.
-
- Oh, sorry.
-
- To our health.
-
And may our enemies,
if they exist,
-
be unconscious
of our purpose.
-
Let's go.
We must hurry now.
-
- Come on, drink up.
-
- Wait in here.
-
- Right you are.
-
- Anything wrong?
-
- Nothing,
-
except they noticed
you were wearing high heels.
-
However, it makes
no difference.
-
We shall reach Morsken
in three minutes.
-
Quite an eventful journey.
-
- Well?
-
- Yes, the patient
is Miss Froy.
-
She will be taken off the train
at Morsken,
-
about three minutes.
-
She will be removed
to the hospital there
-
and operated on.
-
Unfortunately, the operation
will not be successful.
-
Oh, I should perhaps
have explained.
-
The operation
will be performed by me.
-
You see, I am
in this conspiracy,
-
as you term it.
-
You are a very alert
young couple,
-
but it's quite useless
for you to think,
-
as you are undoubtedly doing,
of a way out of your dilemma.
-
The drinks you had just now,
I regret to say,
-
contained a quantity
of hydrocin.
-
For your benefit,
-
hydrocin is
a very little-known drug
-
which has the effect
in a small quantity
-
of paralyzing the brain
-
and rendering
the victim unconscious
-
for a considerable period.
-
In a slightly larger quantity,
of course, it induces madness.
-
However,
you have my word
-
the dose
was a normal one.
-
In a very few moments now,
you will join your young friend.
-
Need I say how sorry I am
-
having to take such a--
how shall I say--
-
melodramatic course?
-
But your persistent meddling
made it necessary.
-
- Are you all right?
-
You must have fainted.
-
- Did I?
-
- Listen, there's a woman
next door going to be murdered,
-
and we've got to get moving
before this stuff takes effect.
-
- I did read once
-
that if you keep on the go,
you can stay awake.
-
- Right, come on,
let's get going.
-
- It's locked.
-
We can't go that way.
We'd be spotted.
-
- You can't do that!
-
- Don't worry,
it's only next door.
-
You carry on keeping fit.
-
Touch your toes;
stand on your head.
-
Do anything, only whatever
you do, don't fall asleep.
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
- Go on.
You needn't be afraid.
-
It is Miss Froy.
-
It's all right.
You haven't been drugged.
-
He told me to put something
in your drink,
-
but I didn't do it.
-
- Who the devil are you?
He said you were deaf and dumb.
-
- Oh, never mind about that now.
-
If you want to save her,
you've got to hurry.
-
Hartz will be back
in a minute.
-
What's going
to happen then?
-
- If we can hold them off
till we get past Morsken,
-
the frontier's a few miles
beyond the station.
-
[Madame Kummer gasps]
-
- Look, come on,
there's still time.
-
[both speaking Italian]
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- That's Morsken.
-
Have you finished?
-
Come on, Miss Froy.
-
slap!
- Ouch!
-
- Cut it out, kid,
you're not drugged.
-
I'll explain later.
-
Abracadabra.
-
- Miss Froy!
-
Oh, I can't believe it.
-
- Thank you,
my dear.
-
Thank you very much.
-
- Careful.
-
- Ready?
-
- Yes.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Are you all right,
Miss Froy?
-
- Yes, thank you.
-
It's rather like the rush hour
on the Underground.
-
- Careful.
We're slowing down.
-
[brakes screeching]
-
Drat.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
I'm sorry you've had
-
such an uncomfortable journey,
Miss Froy.
-
[speaking Bandrikan]
-
Get back on the train.
-
- I hope nothing
goes wrong.
-
Aren't we stopping
rather a long time?
-
- The ambulance is going.
We'll be off in a jiffy.
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
In another couple of minutes,
we'll be over the border.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- I know
I've been well paid,
-
and I've done plenty
of dirty work for it,
-
but this was murder,
and she was an Englishwoman.
-
- You are Bandrikan.
-
- My husband was,
but I'm English.
-
And you were going
to butcher her in cold blood.
-
- Your little diversion
made it necessary
-
not only to remove
the lady in question
-
but two others as well.
-
- You can't do that.
-
- Also, it would be
unwise of us
-
to permit the existence
of anyone who cannot be trusted.
-
- You wouldn't dare.
I know too much.
-
- Precisely.
-
- Well, I think
we're over the border now.
-
You can come out,
Miss Froy.
-
- Oh, bless me.
-
What an unpleasant journey.
-
- Never mind.
-
You shall have a corner seat
for the rest of the way.
-
There you are.
-
Look here,
now that it's over,
-
I think you ought to tell us
what it's all about.
-
[woman screams]
-
What was that scream?
-
- Surely it was only
the train whistle.
-
- It wasn't.
It was a woman.
-
- Be careful.
-
They've rumbled.
-
We're on a branch line,
-
and they've slipped
the rear part of the train.
-
- Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
-
- Look here,
who are you,
-
and why are these people
going to these lengths
-
to get hold of you?
-
- I haven't
the faintest idea.
-
I'm a children's governess,
you know.
-
I can only think they've made
some terrible mistake.
-
- Why are you holding out on us?
Tell us the truth.
-
You got us involved
in this fantastic plot.
-
You might at least
trust us.
-
- I really don't know.
I--
-
- I wonder if there's anybody else
left on the train.
-
- Well, there's only
the dining car in front,
-
but there won't be
anybody there now.
-
- What do you make it?
-
- Teatime.
All the English will be there.
-
I'm going to take a look.
-
Come on,
we'd better stick together.
-
- There's the old girl
turned up.
-
- Told you it was a lot of fuss
about nothing.
-
Bolt must have jammed.
-
- I've got something to say.
Will you all please listen?
-
An attempt has been made
-
to abduct this lady
by force.
-
I've got reason to believe
that the people who did it
-
are going to try again.
-
- What the devil is the fellow
driveling about?
-
- Well, if you don't believe me,
you can look out of the window.
-
This train's been diverted
onto a branch line.
-
- What are you
talking about?
-
Abductions,
diverted trains...
-
- We're telling you
the truth.
-
- I'm not in the least
interested.
-
You've annoyed us enough
with your ridiculous story.
-
- My dear chap,
you must've got hold
-
of the wrong end of the stick
somewhere.
-
- Yes, things like that
just don't happen.
-
- We're not
in England now.
-
- I don't see what difference
that makes.
-
- We're stopping.
-
- Look, do you see
those cars?
-
They're here to take
Miss Froy away.
-
- Nonsense.
-
Look, there go
a couple of people.
-
The cars have obviously come
to pick them up.
-
- Well, in that case,
why go to the trouble
-
of uncoupling the train
and diverting it?
-
- Uncoupling?
-
- There's nothing left of the
train beyond the sleeping car.
-
- There must be.
-
Our bags are in
the first class carriage.
-
- Not any longer.
Would you like to come and look?
-
- If this is
a practical joke,
-
I warn you
I shan't think it very funny.
-
Good Lord!
-
- Let's have some
of that brandy.
-
- You don't suppose
there's something
-
in this fellow's story,
Caldicott, do you?
-
- Seems a bit queer.
-
- I mean, after all, people
don't go about tying up nuns.
-
- [coughs]
-
Thank you.
-
- Someone's coming.
-
- Well, they can't possibly
do anything to us.
-
We're British subjects.
-
- I have come to offer
the most sincere apologies.
-
An extremely serious incident
has occurred.
-
An attempt
has been made
-
to interfere with passengers
on this train.
-
Fortunately,
it was brought to the notice
-
of the authorities,
-
and so if you
will be good enough
-
to accompany me to Morsken,
-
I will inform
the British embassy at once.
-
Ladies and gentlemen,
the cars are at your disposal.
-
- We're very grateful.
-
It's lucky some of you fellows
understand English.
-
- Well, I was at Oxford.
-
- Really? So was I.
What year?
-
- Hold on.
-
This woman seems to be trying
to say something.
-
I don't understand the language,
and it may be important.
-
- Would you...
-
- Certainly.
-
- That's fixed him.
-
It's all right.
He's only stunned.
-
- What the blazes
did you do that for?
-
- I was at Cambridge.
-
- What's that
got to do with it?
-
You heard what he said,
didn't you?
-
- I heard what she said.
-
That was a trick
to get us off the train.
-
- I don't believe it.
-
The man's explanation
was quite satisfactory.
-
- A thing like this
might cause a war.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- I'm going outside,
tell them what's occurred.
-
It's up to us to apologize
and put the matter right.
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
[gunshot]
-
- You were right.
-
Do you mind,
old man?
-
- Certainly.
-
- Looks as if
they mean business.
-
- I'm afraid so.
-
- Well, they can't
do anything.
-
It would mean
an international situation.
-
- It's happened before.
-
- They're coming.
-
- Don't let them in.
-
They'll murder us.
-
They daren't
let us go now.
-
- I order you
to surrender at once.
-
- Nothing doing.
-
If you come any nearer,
I'll fire.
-
I've warned you.
-
[gunshot]
-
Better take cover.
-
They'll start
any minute now.
-
- Nasty jam, this.
-
Don't like
the look of it.
-
- Got plenty
of ammunition?
-
- A whole pouch full.
-
- Good.
-
- Duck down, you.
-
- I'm not going to fight.
It's madness.
-
- It'll be safer
to protest down here.
-
- Oh, no, they're trying
to work round to the other side.
-
- You're behaving
like a pack of fools.
-
What chance have we got
against a lot of armed men?
-
- You heard what
the Mother Superior said.
-
If we surrender now,
we're in for it.
-
[gunshots]
-
[gunfire]
-
- We'll never
get to the match now.
-
- Give it to me.
-
Give it to me.
-
[gunfire]
-
- What's going on here?
-
- He's got a gun,
and he won't use it.
-
- What's the idea?
-
- Well, I told you.
-
I won't be a party
to this sort of thing.
-
I don't believe
in fighting.
-
- Pacifist, eh?
-
Won't work, old boy.
-
Early Christians tried it
and got thrown to the lions.
-
Come on, hand it over.
-
[gunfire]
-
- I'm not afraid
to use it.
-
- Probably
more used to it.
-
I once won
a box of cigars.
-
- He's talking rot.
He's a damn good shot.
-
[gunfire]
-
- Hope the old hand
hasn't lost its cunning.
-
You know, I'm half inclined
to believe
-
that there's some rational
explanation to all this.
-
[gunshot]
-
Rotten.
Only knocked his hat off.
-
- Do you mind
if I talk to you for a minute?
-
- What now?
-
- Yes, I--please forgive me,
but it's very important.
-
[gunfire]
-
- Hang on to this for me,
will you?
-
- All right,
I'll hold the fort.
-
- I think it's safer
along here.
-
You come too.
-
- Keep your head low.
-
[gunfire]
-
- I just wanted
to tell you
-
that I must
be getting along now.
-
- But you can't.
You'll never get away.
-
You'll be shot down.
-
- I must take
that risk.
-
Listen carefully.
-
In case I'm unlucky
and you get through,
-
I want you to take back
a message to a Mr. Callendar
-
at the Foreign Office
in Whitehall.
-
- Then you are a spy.
-
- I always think
that's such a grim word.
-
- Well, what is
the message?
-
- It's a tune.
-
- Tune?
-
- It contains,
in code, of course,
-
the vital clause
of a secret pact
-
between two
European countries.
-
I want you
to memorize it.
-
- Well, go ahead.
-
The first part of it
goes like this.
-
Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee
-
[gunshot]
-
Oh, perhaps I'd better
write it down.
-
Have you got
a piece of paper?
-
- No, don't bother.
I was brought up on music.
-
I can memorize anything.
-
- Very well.
Da-da-dum, da
-
Da-da-dee-dee
-
- Hello, the old girl's
gone off her rocker.
-
- I don't wonder.
-
Why don't you face it?
-
Those swine out there
will go on firing
-
till they've killed
the lot of us.
-
- For goodness' sake,
shut up, Eric.
-
- Da-da-dum, da,
da-da-dee
-
- That's right.
-
Now we've got two chances
instead of one.
-
- You bet.
-
- You're sure
you'll remember it?
-
- Oh, don't worry.
I won't stop whistling it.
-
- I suppose this
is my best way out.
-
- Yes, just about.
-
- But you may be hit,
and even if you do get away,
-
they'll stop you
at the frontier.
-
We can't let her go
like this.
-
- You know, this is a hell
of a risk you're taking.
-
- In this sort of job,
one must take risks.
-
[gunshots]
-
I'm very grateful to you both
for all you've done.
-
I do hope and pray
no harm will come to you
-
and that we shall all
meet again one day.
-
- I hope so too.
-
Good luck.
-
- Good luck.
-
- Will you help me out?
-
- Yes, rather.
-
Now, you take
the weight on top.
-
Right you are.
I've got you.
-
- Good-bye.
-
[gunfire]
-
[gunfire]
-
- [speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Was she hit?
-
- I'm not sure.
-
- Well, that's the end
of my 12.
-
- There's not much left
here either.
-
- Listen, we've only got
one chance now.
-
Got to get
this train going.
-
Drive it back
to the main line
-
and then try and cross
the frontier.
-
- That's a bit
of a tall order, isn't it?
-
Those driver fellows
are not likely
-
to do as you tell them,
you know.
-
- Then we'll bluff them with this.
Who's coming with me?
-
- Well, you can count
on me.
-
- Me too.
-
- Oh, we can't all go.
-
You stay here
and carry on.
-
And if we have any luck,
-
we'll stop the train
when we reach the points,
-
and you'll jump out
and switch them over.
-
- Okay.
-
- You idiots,
you're just inviting death.
-
I've had enough.
-
Just because I have the sense
to try and avoid being murdered,
-
I'm accused
of being a pacifist.
-
All right, I'd rather be called
a rat than die like one.
-
Think for a moment,
will you?
-
If we give ourselves up,
-
they daren't murder us
in cold blood.
-
They're bound
to give us a trial.
-
- Stop gibbering, Eric.
-
Nobody's listening to you.
-
- Very well.
-
You go your way.
I'll go mine.
-
- Hey, where
are you off to?
-
- I know what I'm about.
-
I'm doing
the only sensible thing.
-
- Oh, let the fellow go
if he wants to.
-
[gunshot]
-
[muttering]
-
[gunfire]
-
- Oh, please.
-
Why aren't we going?
-
Why aren't we going?
-
They said we were going.
Why aren't we?
-
- If only he can
get us away now.
-
He must.
-
- Only one left.
I'll keep that for a sitter.
-
- They're moving away
from the cars.
-
They're coming
towards us.
-
- Pity we haven't
a few more rounds.
-
- It's funny.
-
I told my husband
when I left him
-
that I wouldn't
see him again.
-
- Gilbert.
-
Gilbert!
-
- Egad, we're off.
-
- This gives us
a chance.
-
- Go on,
keep going.
-
[gunshot]
-
[gunshots]
-
[steam hissing]
-
- I say, do you know
how to control this thing?
-
- I watched the fellow
start it.
-
Anyway, I know something
about it.
-
Once drove a miniature engine
on the Dymchurch line.
-
- Oh, good.
I'll look out for the points.
-
- The blighters
are chasing us. Look.
-
- We can't have far
to go.
-
- It's time for my little job
changing the points.
-
Thank heavens we shall be
in neutral territory.
-
- That will not
be necessary.
-
I'm sorry, but the points,
as you call them,
-
will not be changed over.
-
Will you please
be seated?
-
- There they are,
just ahead of us.
-
Think you can stop it?
-
- Hope so.
-
- You'll keep quite still
until my friends arrive.
-
If anyone moves, I'm afraid
I shall have to shoot.
-
- There's just one thing
you don't know, Captain.
-
There's only one bullet
left in that gun,
-
and if you shoot me,
you'll give the others a chance.
-
You're in rather a difficult
position, aren't you?
-
- Sit down, please.
-
- All right.
-
- Where the devil's
Charters?
-
[gunshots]
-
Go ahead.
She's done it.
-
[gunshots]
-
Quick!
-
[gunshots]
-
- Oh!
-
It's all right.
It's just my leg.
-
[both speaking Bandrikan]
-
- Or as they say in English,
jolly good luck to them.
-
[whistling]
-
- Well, well, I'm glad
all that's over, aren't you?
-
Heaven knows what the government
will say about all this.
-
- Nothing at all.
They'll hush it up.
-
- What?
-
[train whistle shrills]
-
- Hey, take your hand
off that thing.
-
I've got to remember
a tune.
-
- Remember...
-
[whistling]
-
[humming]
-
- Porter, sir?
-
- No, thanks.
-
- Well, we're home,
Gilbert.
-
- Mm-hmm-hmm, hmm
-
- Can't you stop humming
that awful tune?
-
You must know it
backwards.
-
- I'm not taking
any risks.
-
[hums]
-
Charles will be here
to meet you?
-
- I expect so.
-
- [hums]
-
You'll be pretty busy
between now and Thursday.
-
- I could meet you for lunch
or dinner, if you'd like it.
-
- I'm sorry,
I didn't mean that.
-
No, as a matter of fact,
-
I've got to deliver
this theme song from Miss Froy.
-
When I've done that, I'm going
to dash off to Yorkshire
-
and finish my book.
-
- I see.
-
- Ready?
-
- Yes.
-
- Ample time to catch the 6:50
to Manchester after all.
-
- Da-da-dum, dum,
da-da-dum, da
-
Da-da-dum, da
-
Any sign of Charles yet?
-
- No, I can't see him.
-
- Well, this is where
we say good-bye.
-
Oh, what's the matter?
-
Charles?
-
- Yes, you heartless, callous,
selfish, swollen-headed beast.
-
- Are you going anywhere?
-
- Foreign Office.
-
[laughter]
-
- Where are we going
for our honeymoon?
-
- I don't know.
-
Somewhere quiet, somewhere
where there are no trains.
-
[laughter]
-
- Mr. Callendar
will see you now.
-
- Wait a minute.
-
It's gone.
- What's gone?
-
- The tune.
I've forgotten it.
-
- No. Oh, no!
-
- Well, wait a minute.
Let me concentrate.
-
[hums]
-
- No, no, no, no,
that's the "Wedding March."
-
- This is awful.
-
I've done nothing else
but sing it
-
since the day
before yesterday,
-
and now I've forgotten it
completely.
-
[piano playing the tune]
-
- Miss Froy!
-
- Well,
I'll be hanged.
