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And welcome back to the roast of Caitlyn Jenner
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Here's your host, Seth Macfarlane
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We're about halfway through the show
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And Lisa Lampanelli is about halfway
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through the New York Nicks and that gallon of
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mayonnaise she got at Cosco
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[Laughter]
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I think we've roasted Lisa enough
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time we turn the hose on mama
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Okay, well now I have something here to say
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about the woman we are all here to celebrate.
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Here we go, this is it.
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Caitlyn Jenner!
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Give it to me hard, son
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Uh, clears throat, she- Bring it on, baby!
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I can take it
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She's a hero to both the people that know her
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And the transgender community
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Around the world
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Our next roaster- Oh come on! No, we've only got
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ten minutes left on the show, and no one's
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taken any shots at me. I can take it!
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It's for charity, it's for the kids.
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I mean come on, you can make fun of anything
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My hair's a little flat today!
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If anybody's hair is flat it's mine!
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Laughter
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Okay, our next roaster looks like David Lynch
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fucked a snake Laughter
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Anthony Jeselnik!
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Okay, alright this is gonna be good.
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This is gonna be good.
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Now we're cooking with gas.
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You've got this Anthony!
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Thank you.
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Lisa Lampanely is here
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Hey, we already did her, do me!
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Lisa Lamenelly has had more angry black
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men inside of her than a liquor store
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in Ferguson! Laughter
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Alright, we're done with Lisa, it's momma's turn.
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Kanye West is here. Kanye.
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He's not even here!
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He's not here.
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A lot of people say Kanye thinks he's the
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second coming- Anthony- which is true. Anthony.
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The first was reggae. Anthony.
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Anthony!
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What?!
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It's my turn.
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Roast.
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Okay.
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There you go.
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You know, I'll do it. Anthony Jeselnik.
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I'll do it.
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This is gonna be good! It's gonna be good.
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Caitlyn Jenner's here!
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Great start, I can't wait to see where you take it.
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Caitlyn is so--okay I'm so, I'm so what?
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Brave!
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The stage manager is here.
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No, don't roast the stage manager.
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He looks like a bag of potatoes.
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Anthony look at me! A bag of potatoes.....
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Anthony, turn around!
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Who else is here?
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I'm here!
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I'm here, Anthony.
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I'm here, Anthony Jeselvik is here.
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No, no, you can't roast yourself.
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Anthony Jeselvik sounds like he got face
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fucked by Ray Romano.
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Laughter
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No, move along.
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That's it, sit down, take a seat.
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If Anthony can roast himself,
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I'm gonna roast myself.
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I know that you guys don't wanna make fun of me.
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But I want you to treat me like you would treat anyone else.
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Here's how it should be done.
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It goes roast, roast, roast, roast, roast, roast.
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And now time for the lady of the hour.
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And then say something funny, something like
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Hmm Must be hard getting back into Olympic
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shape what with losing all that trans fat.
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Jesus Christ
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Something like that would be good.
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How dare you make fun of her?
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Trans-phobe!
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Booooooo
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Oh, come on, we did six whale jokes
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about Lisa and I can't do a bit of
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word play?
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Booooooo
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No, you've got it twisted, they've all got it-
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what are you doing?
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Are you kidding me?
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I'd like to formally apologize on behalf of
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Comedy Central and the comedians and we
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are all very upset with the hate that
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Caitlyn Jenner showed to herself.
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Caitlyn Jenner is a hero, we do not stand by
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Caitlyn Jenner's words, Caitlyn Jenner is a
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brave soul and we all hope that Caitlyn Jenner can heal
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the hate in Caitlyn Jenner's beautiful, cruel
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inspirational heart.
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This is on the wrong side of history.
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No, you know what it was a fucking joke, man
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It was fucking joke.
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And if you can't take that, then you should all grow
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some balls.
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Gasps
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Or better yet, why don't you borrow a pair of--
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Nacho Punch!
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Hello, I'm gonna roast Chloe soon!
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I'm coming for you Chloe!
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I'm gonna come for you Chloe!
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You look like you're seeing through me right now.
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I'm trans, I'm not transparent.
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Laughter
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More Laughter
Captions Requested
