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So I've been thinking about the difference between
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the résumé virtues and
the eulogy virtues.
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The résumé virtues are the
ones you put on your résumé,
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which are the skills
you bring to the marketplace.
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The eulogy virtues are the ones
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that get mentioned in the eulogy,
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which are deeper: who are you,
in your depth,
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what is the nature of your relationships,
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are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency?
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And most of us, including
me, would say
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that the eulogy virtues are the
more important of the virtues.
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But at least in my case,
are they the ones that
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I think the most,
and the answer is no.
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So I've been thinking about that problem,
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and a thinker who has
helped me think about it
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is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who is a rabbi
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who wrote a book called "The
Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.
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Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures
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which he called Adam 1
and Adam 2.
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Adam 1 is the worldly, ambitious,
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external side of our nature.
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He wants to build, create,
create companies,
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create innovation.
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Adam 2 is the humble
side of our nature.
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Adam 2 wants not only
to do good but to be good,
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to live in a way internally
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that honors God, creation, and our possibilities.
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Adam 1 wants to conquer the world.
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Adam 2 wants to hear
a calling and obey the world.
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Adam 1 savors accomplishment.
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Adam 2 savors inner
consistency and strength.
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Adam 1 asks how things work
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Adam 2 asks why we're here.
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Adam 1's motto is "success."
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Adam 2's motto is "love, redemption, and return."
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And Soloveitchik argued
that these two sides
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of our nature are
at war with each other.
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We live in perpetual self-confrontation
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between the external success and the internal value.
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And the tricky thing,
I'd say, about these
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two sides of our nature is they work
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by different logics.
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The external logic is
an economic logic:
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input leads to output,
risk leads to reward.
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The internal side of our nature
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is a moral logic and
often an inverse logic.
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You have to give to receive.
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You have to surrender
to something outside yourself
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to gain strength within yourself.
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You have to conquer the
desire to get what you want.
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In order to fulfill yourself,
you have to forget yourself.
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In order to find yourself,
you have to lose yourself.
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We happen to live in a society
that favors Adam 1,
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and often neglects Adam 2.
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And the problem is, that turns
you into a shrewd animal
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who treats life as a game,
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and you become a cold,
calculating creature
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who slips into a sort of mediocrity
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where you realize there's a difference
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between your desired
self and your actual self.
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You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want,
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you hope someone will give to you.
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You don't have the
depth of conviction.
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You don't have an emotional sonorousness.
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You don't have
commitment to tasks
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that would take more than a lifetime to commit.
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I was reminded of a common
response through history
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of how you build a solid Adam 2,
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how you build a depth of character.
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Through history, people
have gone back
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into their own pasts,
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sometimes to a precious
time in their life,
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to their childhood,
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and often, the mind
gravitates in the past
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to a moment of shame,
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some sin committed,
some act of selfishness,
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an act of omission, of shallowness,
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the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity,
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trying to be a people-pleaser,
a lack of courage.
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Adam 1 is built by
building on your strengths.
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Adam 2 is built by fighting
your weaknesses.
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You go into yourself,
you find the sin
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which you've committed over
and again through your life,
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your signature sin
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out of which the others emerge,
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and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin,
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and out of that wrestling,
that suffering,
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then a depth of character is constructed.
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And we're often not
taught to recognize
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the sin in ourselves,
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in that we're not taught in this culture
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how to wrestle with it,
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how to confront it,
and how to combat it.
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We live in a culture
with an Adam 1 mentality
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where we're inarticulate
about Adam 2.
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Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr
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summed up the confrontation, the fully lived
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Adam 1 and Adam 2 life, this way:
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"Nothing that is worth doing
can be achieved in our lifetime;
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therefore we must
be saved by hope.
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Nothing which is true or
beautiful or good makes
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complete sense in any immediate context of history;
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therefore we must be saved by faith.
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Nothing we do, however virtuous,
can be accomplished alone;
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therefore we must
be saved by love.
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No virtuous act is quite as virtuous
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from the standpoint of our friend
or foe as from our own standpoint.
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Therefore we must be saved
by that final form of love
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which is forgiveness.”
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Thanks.
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(Applause)