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If Scary Movies Were Real!

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    (phone rings)
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    (man) Hey, man, what's up?
    I'm in a theater.
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    - Yeah, I can talk.
    - (Ian) Shut up!
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    (zombies moaning,
    person screaming, gunshots)
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    Why do people even like zombie movies?
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    - Uh... they're fun to watch?
    - This is fun?
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    Watching a bunch of corpses
    get their heads blown off?
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    Yeah. Imagine how stupid
    scary movies would be
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    if they were actually realistic.
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    IF SCARY MOVIES
    WERE REAL
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    SAW
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    (crying) Help!
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    Why is that dead guy breathing?
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    Damn it!
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    signs
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    Die, alien! (grunts)
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    (alien laughs)
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    You really thought our weakness was water?
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    You humans are stupider
    than I thought. (laughing)
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    PSYCHO
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    ♪ (suspenseful horror music) ♪
  • 1:02 - 1:03
    (gasps)
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    Damn!
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    ANACONDA
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    (exaggerated groaning)
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    No! (yelling)
  • 1:19 - 1:22
    (grunting)
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    CHUCKY
    "CHILD'S PLAY"
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    (Ian gasping frantically) Oh, no!
  • 1:28 - 1:32
    Anthony! My doll is trying to kill me!
  • 1:34 - 1:36
    You're my favorite deputy.
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    Are you kidding?
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    - Die, bitch!
    - (screams)
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    PITCH
    BLACK
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    the
    ring
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    (static buzzing)
  • 1:51 - 1:56
    ♪ (Justin Bieber, "Baby" ringtone) ♪
  • 1:56 - 1:58
    Hello?
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    (voice on phone) Seven days.
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    (dial tone)
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    Oh, hell no.
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    - (line rings)
    - Hello?
  • 2:07 - 2:09
    Yeah, you just called me.
  • 2:09 - 2:11
    - No, I didn't.
    - Yeah, you did.
  • 2:11 - 2:15
    Uh... Livelinks sex line.
    How may I assist you?
  • 2:15 - 2:18
    Okay, I know this isn't
    a sex line. You're lying.
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    Yes, it is.
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    How much do you charge?
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    SEX AND THE CITY
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    ♪ (dramatic sting) ♪
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    SCREAM
    (OR ANY SLASHER MOVIE)
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    - (woman screams)
    - (villain laughs)
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    (doors rattling)
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    (chuckling sinisterly)
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    Ah!
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    That was easy.
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    - Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb.
    - Told you.
  • 2:51 - 2:53
    Well, I gotta go.
  • 2:53 - 2:55
    Old Sparky needs a little trim.
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    (moaning)
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    Oh! Holy dingleberries!
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    (moaning continues)
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    - Die, zombies!
    - Wait!
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    (grunts)
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    They're not zombies.
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    They're just really, really high.
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    (stoners munching)
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    - So, then I just--
    - Yeah, you're going to prison.
  • 3:24 - 3:30
    To see bloopers & deleted scenes from
    THE EXORCIST + The Birds
  • 3:30 - 3:35
    CLICK THE LINK BELOW!
  • 3:35 - 3:39
    (spooky voice) Thanks for
    subscribing! (chuckles creepily)
  • 3:39 - 3:41
    I'm looking at you through your window.
Title:
If Scary Movies Were Real!
Video Language:
English
Duration:
03:44
Sebastian Andrade-Miles edited English subtitles for If Scary Movies Were Real!

English subtitles

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