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In our baby's illness, a life lesson

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    Francesca Fedeli: Ciao.
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    So he's Mario. He's our son.
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    He was born two and a half years ago,
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    and I had a pretty tough pregnancy
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    because I had to stay still in a bed for, like, eight months.
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    But in the end everything seemed to be under control.
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    So we got the right weight at birth.
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    He got right Apgar index.
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    So we were pretty reassured by this.
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    But at the end, 10 days later than he was born,
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    we discovered that he had a stroke.
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    As you might know,
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    a stroke is a brain injury.
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    A prenatal stroke could be something
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    that can happen during the nine months of pregnancy
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    or just suddenly after the birth,
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    and in his case, as you can see,
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    the right part of his brain has gone.
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    So defects that this stroke could have on Mario's body
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    could be the fact that he couldn't be able to control
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    the left side of his body.
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    Just imagine, like, if you have a computer and a printer
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    and you want to transmit, to input to print out a document,
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    but the printer doesn't have the right drivers,
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    so the same is for Mario.
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    It's just like, he would like to move the left side
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    of his body, but he's not able to transmit the right input
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    to move his left arm and left leg.
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    So life had to change.
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    We needed to change our schedule.
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    We needed to change the impact this birth had
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    on our life.
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    Roberto D'Angelo: As you may imagine,
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    unfortunately, we were not ready.
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    Nobody taught us how to deal with such kinds of disabilities,
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    and as many questions as possible started
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    to come to our minds.
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    And that has been really a tough time.
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    Questions, some basics, like, you know,
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    why did this happen to us?
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    And what went wrong?
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    Some more tough, like, really,
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    what will be the impact on Mario's life?
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    I mean, at the end, will he be able to work?
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    Will he able to be normal?
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    And, you know, as a parent, especially for the first time,
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    why is he not going to be better than us?
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    And this, indeed, really tough to say,
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    but a few months later, we realized that
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    we were really feeling like a failure.
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    I mean, the only real product of our life,
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    at the end, was a failure.
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    And you know, it was not a failure for ourselves in itself,
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    but it was a failure that will impact his full life.
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    Honestly, we went down.
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    We went really down, but at the end,
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    we started to look at him,
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    and we said, we have to react.
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    So immediately, as Francesca said, we changed our life.
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    We started physiotherapy, we started the rehabilitation,
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    and one of the patterns that we were following
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    in terms of rehabilitation is the mirror neurons pilot.
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    Basically, we spent months doing this with Mario.
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    You have an object, and we showed him
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    how to grab the object.
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    Now, the theory of mirror neurons simply says
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    that in your brains, exactly now, as you watch me doing this,
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    you are activating exactly the same neurons
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    as if you do the actions.
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    It looks like this is the leading edge in terms of rehabilitation.
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    But one day we found that Mario
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    was not looking at our hand.
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    He was looking at us.
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    We were his mirror.
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    And the problem, as you might feel,
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    is that we were down, we were depressed,
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    we were looking at him as a problem,
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    not as a son, not from a positive perspective.
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    And that day really changed our perspective.
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    We realized that we had to become
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    a better mirror for Mario.
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    We restarted from our strengths,
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    and at the same time we restarted from his strengths.
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    We stopped looking at him as a problem,
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    and we started to look at him as an opportunity to improve.
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    And really, this was the change,
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    and from our side, we said,
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    "What are our strengths that we really can bring to Mario?"
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    And we started from our passions.
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    I mean, at the end, my wife and myself
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    are quite different,
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    but we have many things in common.
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    We love to travel, we love music,
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    we love to be in places like this,
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    and we started to bring Mario with us
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    just to show to him the best things that we can show to him.
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    This short video is from last week.
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    I am not saying
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    — (Applause) —
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    I am not saying it's a miracle. That's not the message,
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    because we are just at the beginning of the path.
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    But we want to share what was the key learning,
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    the key learning that Mario drove to us,
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    and it is to consider what you have as a gift
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    and not only what you miss,
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    and to consider what you miss just as an opportunity.
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    And this is the message that we want to share with you.
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    This is why we are here.
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    Mario!
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    And this is why
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    — (Applause) —
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    And this is why
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    we decided to share the best mirror in the world with him.
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    And we thank you so much, all of you.
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    FF: Thank you.
    RD: Thank you. Bye.
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    (Applause)
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    FF: Thank you. (Applause)
Title:
In our baby's illness, a life lesson
Speaker:
Roberto D'Angelo + Francesca Fedeli
Description:

more » « less
Video Language:
English
Team:
closed TED
Project:
TEDTalks
Duration:
06:17

English subtitles

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