-
Hi! I'm Zach Anner.
-
Where the hell have I been?!
-
This is Workout Wednesday,
the workout show
-
that teaches you how to be patient
-
when I don't make these for three months!
-
I have made a lot of videos on YouTube
-
and this one is my hundredth video!
-
So to thank you, I wanted
to talk about milestones.
-
It should be a walk in the park.
-
'Cause we're in the park.
-
HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED!
-
Workout headband!
-
Workout shorts!
-
Workout shirt!
-
Workout shoes!
-
Workout socks!
-
Workout bounce house in the background!
-
Workout walker from when
you were a small boy!
-
Let's do this.
-
I am the one who worked out!
-
So the first thing you want to do
-
is get out of your wheelchair
and into your walker.
-
Now, if you don't have a walker,
that probably means
-
you can actually walk, so you're
already ahead of the game!
-
I haven't used this since
I was about ten years old.
-
How the hell did I stand up before?
-
I'm gonna fall over.
-
You just make sure that
your tape is nearby.
-
Alright, so the next thing you
need to do is make sure
-
you have a pedometer
to track your progress!
-
But I don't have
one of those fancy watches,
-
so we're just gonna duct tape
my smartphone to my chest
-
so you guys can know
that I'm not cheating,
-
that I'm really going that fast.
-
Just kinda Iron Man it, Josh.
-
And please press the start button.
-
-(Zach) What did you do? I can't--
-(Josh) I pressed the synchronize button.
-
-(Zach) I can't see!
-(Josh) Now I gotta sign in.
-
(Zach) Oh, no, no!
Where are you?
-
(Zach) Now, go up.
Swipe to the--no! Wrong!
-
(Zach) Synchronize?
I've never heard of that!
-
Brad!
-
Alright!
-
Now we are off and moving.
-
Milestones are important
because they remind us
-
that no matter how far we've come,
-
we will never convert to the metric system!
-
'Kilometerstones' just sounds stupid!
-
And nobody wants to sing
'And I would walk 804.6 kilometers'.
-
You may not be able to walk
a mile in someone else's shoes,
-
but you can walk a mile
in your own and be proud of it.
-
And they don't have
to be some Manolo Blahnik
-
or some other fancy
Sex and the City shoe!
-
God, I'm glad that show's over!
-
Makes you feel so insecure about shoes!
-
And I would walk...
1/12 of a mile and be exhausted.
-
You don't have to have
a huge milestone like being
-
the first man to walk on the moon!
-
They've already got
a guy that does that.
-
And he's dead!
-
Maybe your milestone is not being dead!
-
It's important to appreciate
the little things, like Peter Dinklage!
-
His subtle nuances in Game of Thrones
-
are what give Tyrion Lannister
such a quiet dignity and depth.
-
Plus, he's a dwarf!
-
You know how hard it is to get
a three-dimensional role as a dwarf?
-
Trust me, I've tried!
-
Your milestones don't have
to be the same as everyone else's.
-
High school diploma, college degree...
-
I don't have any of those things!
-
But I do have an honorary doctorate
-
from the Disney College Program.
-
It's honorary 'cause I
didn't finish the program!
-
Ow! Owww!
-
Gonna make it! Gonna make it!
-
Your milestone could be
getting your first job,
-
or crushing all the candy in Candy Crush!
-
My milestone was not to play
stupid apps on iPad,
-
though I am looking
forward to getting an iPad.
-
That'll be quite the milestone!
-
Work, work, work.
Just a couple of people walkin'.
-
Oh, wait. I'm only one person.
-
As soon as this is over,
I'm never walking again!
-
Even if there's a miracle cure!
-
If you fix my legs,
I'm keeping the chair!
-
Maybe your milestone is
that you had your first child!
-
Or are finally out of debt.
-
Or just decided to finally go
for it and steal that robe
-
from the gym that
Jennifer Connelly works out at!
-
She can use some of her Rocketeer money
-
to absorb the cost of robes
for people who can't afford robes!
-
If she doesn't save that money,
then that's her problem!
-
Why do I have to stand
between takes, guys?
-
That just doesn't seem fair.
-
I'm getting a mosquito bite!
-
Hope I don't get the West Nile Virus
-
or secretly get
impregnated with a dinosaur.
-
I saw Jurassic Park.
-
Dino DNA in every mosquito!
-
It's never too late
to get back on track!
-
Just look at Lindsey Lohan!
-
I mean, sure she's not back
to Mean Girls status,
-
but she's got her own show
on the Oprah Network!
-
And once that happens,
you're set for life!
-
Remember, you can't spell
miles without smile.
-
So maybe you should start with that,
-
'cause that makes the road
ahead look so much brighter.
-
Thanks for sticking
with me for these 100 videos
-
and subscribe and thanks
for watching Workout Wednesday.