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Hi! I'm Zach Anner.
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Where the hell have I been?!
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This is Workout Wednesday,
the workout show
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that teaches you how to be patient
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when I don't make these for three months!
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I have made a lot of videos on YouTube
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and this one is my hundredth video!
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So to thank you, I wanted
to talk about milestones.
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It should be a walk in the park.
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'Cause we're in the park.
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HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED!
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Workout headband!
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Workout shorts!
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Workout shirt!
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Workout shoes!
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Workout socks!
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Workout bounce house in the background!
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Workout walker from when
you were a small boy!
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Let's do this.
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I am the one who worked out!
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So the first thing you want to do
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is get out of your wheelchair
and into your walker.
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Now, if you don't have a walker,
that probably means
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you can actually walk, so you're
already ahead of the game!
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I haven't used this since
I was about ten years old.
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How the hell did I stand up before?
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I'm gonna fall over.
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You just make sure that
your tape is nearby.
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Alright, so the next thing you
need to do is make sure
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you have a pedometer
to track your progress!
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But I don't have
one of those fancy watches,
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so we're just gonna duct tape
my smartphone to my chest
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so you guys can know
that I'm not cheating,
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that I'm really going that fast.
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Just kinda Iron Man it, Josh.
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And please press the start button.
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-(Zach) What did you do? I can't--
-(Josh) I pressed the synchronize button.
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-(Zach) I can't see!
-(Josh) Now I gotta sign in.
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(Zach) Oh, no, no!
Where are you?
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(Zach) Now, go up.
Swipe to the--no! Wrong!
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(Zach) Synchronize?
I've never heard of that!
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Brynn!
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Alright!
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Now we are off and moving.
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Milestones are important
because they remind us
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that no matter how far we've come,
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we will never convert to the metric system!
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Kilometer stones just sound stupid!
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And nobody wants to sing
'And I would walk 804.6 kilometers'.
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You may not be able to walk
a mile in someone else's shoes,
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but you can walk a mile
in your own and be proud of it.
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And they don't have
to be some [inaudible]
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or some other fancy
Sex and the City shoe!
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God, I'm glad that show's over!
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Makes you feel so insecure about shoes!
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And I would walk...
1/12 of a mile and be exhausted.
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You don't have to have
a huge milestone like being
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the first man to walk on the moon!
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They've already got
a guy that does that.
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And he's dead!
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Maybe your milestone is not being dead!
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It's important to appreciate
the little things, like Peter Dinklage!
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His subtle nuances in Game of Thrones
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are what give Tyrion Lannister
such a quiet dignity and depth.
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Plus, he's a dwarf!
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You know how hard it is to get
a three-dimensional role as a dwarf?
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Trust me, I've tried!
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Your milestones don't have
to be the same as everyone else's.
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High school diploma, college degree...
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I don't have any of those things!
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But I do have an honorary doctorate
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from the Disney College Program.
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It's honorary because I
didn't finish the program!
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Ow! Owww!
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Gonna make it! Gonna make it!
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Your milestone could be
getting your first job,
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or crushing all the candy in Candy Crush!
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My milestone was not to play
stupid apps on iPad,
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though I am looking
forward to getting an iPad.
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That'll be quite the milestone!
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Work, work, work.
ust a couple of people walkin'.
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Oh, wait. I'm only one person.
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As soon as this is over,
I'm never walking again!
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Even if there's a miracle cure!
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If you fix my legs,
I'm keeping the chair!
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Maybe your milestone is
that you had your first child!
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Or finally out of debt.
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Or just decided to finally go
for it and steal that robe
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from the gym that
Jennifer Connelly works out at!
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She can use some of her Rocketeer money
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to absorb the cost of robes
for people who can't afford robes!
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If she doesn't save that money,
then that's her problem!
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Why do I have to stand
between takes, guys?
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That just doesn't seem fair.
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I'm getting a mosquito bite!
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Hope I don't get the West Nile Virus
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or secretly get
impregnated with a dinosaur.
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I saw Jurassic Park.
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[inaudible]
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It's never too late
to get back on track!
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Just look at Lindsey Lohan!
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I mean, sure she's not back
to Mean Girls status,
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but she's got her own show
on the Oprah Network!
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And once that happens,
you're set for life!
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Remember, you can't spell
miles without smile.
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So maybe you should start with that,
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'cause that makes the road
ahead look so much brighter.
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Thanks for sticking
with me for these 100 videos
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and subscribe and thanks
for watching Workout Wednesday.
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