How to make hard choices
-
0:01 - 0:04Think of a hard choice you'll face in the near future.
-
0:04 - 0:06It might be between two careers,
-
0:06 - 0:08artist and accountant,
-
0:08 - 0:11or places to live, the city or the country,
-
0:11 - 0:13or even between two people to marry.
-
0:13 - 0:17You could marry Betty or you could marry Lolita.
-
0:17 - 0:19Or it might be a choice about
whether to have children, -
0:19 - 0:22to have an ailing parent move in with you,
-
0:22 - 0:24to raise your child in a religion
-
0:24 - 0:25that your partner lives by
-
0:25 - 0:27but leaves you cold.
-
0:27 - 0:30Or whether to donate your life's savings to charity.
-
0:30 - 0:33Chances are, the hard choice you thought of
-
0:33 - 0:35was something big, something momentous,
-
0:35 - 0:36something that matters to you.
-
0:36 - 0:39Hard choices seem to be occasions
-
0:39 - 0:41for agonizing, hand-wringing,
-
0:41 - 0:44the gnashing of teeth.
-
0:44 - 0:46But I think we've misunderstood hard choices
-
0:46 - 0:48and the role they play in our lives.
-
0:48 - 0:50Understanding hard choices
-
0:50 - 0:52uncovers a hidden power
-
0:52 - 0:55each of us possesses.
-
0:55 - 0:57What makes a choice hard is the way
-
0:57 - 0:59the alternatives relate.
-
0:59 - 1:00In any easy choice,
-
1:00 - 1:03one alternative is better than the other.
-
1:03 - 1:04In a hard choice,
-
1:04 - 1:06one alternative is better in some ways,
-
1:06 - 1:09the other alternative is better in other ways,
-
1:09 - 1:12and neither is better than the other overall.
-
1:12 - 1:15You agonize over whether to stay
-
1:15 - 1:17in your current job in the city
-
1:17 - 1:19or uproot your life for
-
1:19 - 1:21more challenging work in the country
-
1:21 - 1:24because staying is better in some ways,
-
1:24 - 1:25moving is better in others,
-
1:25 - 1:29and neither is better than the other overall.
-
1:29 - 1:33We shouldn't think that all hard choices are big.
-
1:33 - 1:35Let's say you're deciding what to have for breakfast.
-
1:35 - 1:38You could have high fiber bran cereal
-
1:38 - 1:40or a chocolate donut.
-
1:40 - 1:41Suppose what matters in the choice
-
1:41 - 1:44is tastiness and healthfulness.
-
1:44 - 1:47The cereal is better for you,
-
1:47 - 1:49the donut tastes way better,
-
1:49 - 1:51but neither is better than the other overall,
-
1:51 - 1:53a hard choice.
-
1:53 - 1:55Realizing that small choices
-
1:55 - 1:57can also be hard
-
1:57 - 2:01may make big hard choices seem less intractable.
-
2:01 - 2:04After all, we manage to figure
out what to have for breakfast, -
2:04 - 2:06so maybe we can figure out
-
2:06 - 2:07whether to stay in the city
-
2:07 - 2:11or uproot for the new job in the country.
-
2:11 - 2:16We also shouldn't think that hard choices are hard
-
2:16 - 2:19because we are stupid.
-
2:19 - 2:20When I graduated from college,
-
2:20 - 2:22I couldn't decide between two careers,
-
2:22 - 2:24philosophy and law.
-
2:24 - 2:27I really loved philosophy.
-
2:27 - 2:29There are amazing things you can learn
-
2:29 - 2:30as a philosopher,
-
2:30 - 2:34and all from the comfort of an armchair.
-
2:34 - 2:37But I came from a modest immigrant family
-
2:37 - 2:38where my idea of luxury
-
2:38 - 2:41was having a pork tongue and jelly sandwich
-
2:41 - 2:43in my school lunchbox,
-
2:43 - 2:45so the thought of spending my whole life
-
2:45 - 2:49sitting around in armchairs just thinking,
-
2:49 - 2:53well, that struck me as the height
of extravagance and frivolity. -
2:53 - 2:55So I got out my yellow pad,
-
2:55 - 2:57I drew a line down the middle,
-
2:57 - 2:59and I tried my best to think of the reasons
-
2:59 - 3:03for and against each alternative.
-
3:03 - 3:05I remember thinking to myself,
-
3:05 - 3:08if only I knew what my life
-
3:08 - 3:10in each career would be like.
-
3:10 - 3:14If only God or Netflix would send me a DVD
-
3:14 - 3:17of my two possible future careers, I'd be set.
-
3:17 - 3:19I'd compare them side by side,
-
3:19 - 3:21I'd see that one was better,
-
3:21 - 3:24and the choice would be easy.
-
3:24 - 3:26But I got no DVD,
-
3:26 - 3:28and because I couldn't figure out which was better,
-
3:28 - 3:31I did what many of us do in hard choices:
-
3:31 - 3:34I took the safest option.
-
3:34 - 3:37Fear of being an unemployed philosopher
-
3:37 - 3:40led me to become a lawyer,
-
3:40 - 3:42and as I discovered,
-
3:42 - 3:43lawyering didn't quite fit.
-
3:43 - 3:46It wasn't who I was.
-
3:46 - 3:47So now I'm a philosopher,
-
3:47 - 3:49and I study hard choices,
-
3:49 - 3:53and I can tell you that fear of the unknown,
-
3:53 - 3:55while a common motivational default
-
3:55 - 3:58in dealing with hard choices,
-
3:58 - 4:00rests on a misconception of them.
-
4:00 - 4:03It's a mistake to think that in hard choices,
-
4:03 - 4:06one alternative really is better than the other,
-
4:06 - 4:08but we're too stupid to know which,
-
4:08 - 4:10and since we don't know which, we might as well
-
4:10 - 4:12take the least risky option.
-
4:12 - 4:15Even taking two alternatives side by side
-
4:15 - 4:20with full information, a choice can still be hard.
-
4:20 - 4:22Hard choices are hard
-
4:22 - 4:24not because of us or our ignorance;
-
4:24 - 4:29they're hard because there is no best option.
-
4:29 - 4:31Now, if there's no best option,
-
4:31 - 4:35if the scales don't tip in favor of one alternative
-
4:35 - 4:36over another,
-
4:36 - 4:40then surely the alternatives must be equally good,
-
4:40 - 4:42so maybe the right thing to say in hard choices
-
4:42 - 4:45is that they're between equally good options.
-
4:45 - 4:46That can't be right.
-
4:46 - 4:48If alternatives are equally good,
-
4:48 - 4:50you should just flip a coin between them,
-
4:50 - 4:52and it seems a mistake to think,
-
4:52 - 4:55here's how you should decide between careers,
-
4:55 - 4:59places to live, people to marry: Flip a coin.
-
4:59 - 5:00There's another reason for thinking
-
5:00 - 5:03that hard choices aren't choices
-
5:03 - 5:06between equally good options.
-
5:06 - 5:09Suppose you have a choice between two jobs:
-
5:09 - 5:12you could be an investment banker
-
5:12 - 5:15or a graphic artist.
-
5:15 - 5:18There are a variety of things
that matter in such a choice, -
5:18 - 5:20like the excitement of the work,
-
5:20 - 5:22achieving financial security,
-
5:22 - 5:25having time to raise a family, and so on.
-
5:25 - 5:28Maybe the artist's career puts you
-
5:28 - 5:30on the cutting edge of new forms
-
5:30 - 5:32of pictorial expression.
-
5:32 - 5:33Maybe the banking career
-
5:33 - 5:35puts you on the cutting edge
-
5:35 - 5:39of new forms of financial manipulation.
-
5:39 - 5:42Imagine the two jobs however you like
-
5:42 - 5:45so that neither is better than the other.
-
5:45 - 5:48Now suppose we improve one of them a bit.
-
5:48 - 5:51Suppose the bank, wooing you,
-
5:51 - 5:54adds 500 dollars a month to your salary.
-
5:54 - 5:58Does the extra money now make the banking job
-
5:58 - 6:01better than the artist one?
-
6:01 - 6:03Not necessarily.
-
6:03 - 6:05A higher salary makes the banking job
-
6:05 - 6:07better than it was before,
-
6:07 - 6:09but it might not be enough to make
-
6:09 - 6:13being a banker better than being an artist.
-
6:13 - 6:16But if an improvement in one of the jobs
-
6:16 - 6:18doesn't make it better than the other,
-
6:18 - 6:19then the two original jobs
-
6:19 - 6:22could not have been equally good.
-
6:22 - 6:24If you start with two things that are equally good,
-
6:24 - 6:25and you improve one of them,
-
6:25 - 6:28it now must be better than the other.
-
6:28 - 6:33That's not the case with options in hard choices.
-
6:33 - 6:36So now we've got a puzzle.
-
6:36 - 6:37We've got two jobs.
-
6:37 - 6:39Neither is better than the other,
-
6:39 - 6:41nor are they equally good.
-
6:41 - 6:44So how are we supposed to choose?
-
6:44 - 6:48Something seems to have gone wrong here.
-
6:48 - 6:51Maybe the choice itself is problematic
-
6:51 - 6:54and comparison is impossible.
-
6:54 - 6:56But that can't be right.
-
6:56 - 6:57It's not like we're trying to choose between
-
6:57 - 7:00two things that can't be compared.
-
7:00 - 7:03We're weighing the merits of two jobs, after all,
-
7:03 - 7:05not the merits of the number nine
-
7:05 - 7:08and a plate of fried eggs.
-
7:08 - 7:11A comparison of the overall merits of two jobs
-
7:11 - 7:13is something we can make,
-
7:13 - 7:17and one we often do make.
-
7:17 - 7:19I think the puzzle arises
-
7:19 - 7:22because of an unreflective assumption
-
7:22 - 7:24we make about value.
-
7:24 - 7:27We unwittingly assume that values
-
7:27 - 7:30like justice, beauty, kindness,
-
7:30 - 7:33are akin to scientific quantities,
-
7:33 - 7:37like length, mass and weight.
-
7:37 - 7:40Take any comparative question not involving value,
-
7:40 - 7:44such as which of two suitcases is heavier?
-
7:44 - 7:46There are only three possibilities.
-
7:46 - 7:49The weight of one is greater, lesser
-
7:49 - 7:52or equal to the weight of the other.
-
7:52 - 7:55Properties like weight can be represented
-
7:55 - 7:57by real numbers -- one, two, three and so on --
-
7:57 - 8:01and there are only three possible comparisons
-
8:01 - 8:03between any two real numbers.
-
8:03 - 8:05One number is greater, lesser,
-
8:05 - 8:08or equal to the other.
-
8:08 - 8:11Not so with values.
-
8:11 - 8:13As post-Enlightenment creatures,
-
8:13 - 8:15we tend to assume
-
8:15 - 8:18that scientific thinking holds the key
-
8:18 - 8:21to everything of importance in our world,
-
8:21 - 8:22but the world of value
-
8:22 - 8:24is different from the world of science.
-
8:24 - 8:26The stuff of the one world
-
8:26 - 8:28can be quantified by real numbers.
-
8:28 - 8:31The stuff of the other world can't.
-
8:31 - 8:33We shouldn't assume
-
8:33 - 8:35that the world of is, of lengths and weights,
-
8:35 - 8:38has the same structure as the world of ought,
-
8:38 - 8:41of what we should do.
-
8:41 - 8:43So if what matters to us --
-
8:43 - 8:46a child's delight, the love
you have for your partner — -
8:46 - 8:49can't be represented by real numbers,
-
8:49 - 8:51then there's no reason to believe
-
8:51 - 8:55that in choice, there are only three possibilities --
-
8:55 - 8:58that one alternative is better, worse or equal
-
8:58 - 9:00to the other.
-
9:00 - 9:04We need to introduce a new, fourth relation
-
9:04 - 9:08beyond being better, worse or equal,
-
9:08 - 9:12that describes what's going on in hard choices.
-
9:12 - 9:14I like to say that the alternatives are
-
9:14 - 9:15"on a par."
-
9:15 - 9:17When alternatives are on a par,
-
9:17 - 9:20it may matter very much which you choose,
-
9:20 - 9:23but one alternative isn't better than the other.
-
9:23 - 9:25Rather, the alternatives are in
-
9:25 - 9:28the same neighborhood of value,
-
9:28 - 9:30in the same league of value,
-
9:30 - 9:32while at the same time being very different
-
9:32 - 9:34in kind of value.
-
9:34 - 9:37That's why the choice is hard.
-
9:37 - 9:40Understanding hard choices in this way
-
9:40 - 9:44uncovers something about ourselves we didn't know.
-
9:44 - 9:46Each of us has the power
-
9:46 - 9:50to create reasons.
-
9:50 - 9:53Imagine a world in which every choice you face
-
9:53 - 9:55is an easy choice,
-
9:55 - 9:57that is, there's always a best alternative.
-
9:57 - 9:59If there's a best alternative,
-
9:59 - 10:00then that's the one you should choose,
-
10:00 - 10:02because part of being rational
-
10:02 - 10:05is doing the better thing rather than the worse thing,
-
10:05 - 10:08choosing what you have most reason to choose.
-
10:08 - 10:10In such a world,
-
10:10 - 10:12we'd have most reason
-
10:12 - 10:15to wear black socks instead of pink socks,
-
10:15 - 10:17to eat cereal instead of donuts,
-
10:17 - 10:18to live in the city rather than the country,
-
10:18 - 10:21to marry Betty instead of Lolita.
-
10:21 - 10:24A world full of only easy choices
-
10:24 - 10:28would enslave us to reasons.
-
10:28 - 10:30When you think about it,
-
10:30 - 10:33it's nuts to believe
-
10:33 - 10:36that the reasons given to you
-
10:36 - 10:41dictated that you had most reason to pursue
-
10:41 - 10:44the exact hobbies you do,
-
10:44 - 10:46to live in the exact house you do,
-
10:46 - 10:49to work at the exact job you do.
-
10:49 - 10:52Instead, you faced alternatives
-
10:52 - 10:55that were on a par, hard choices,
-
10:55 - 10:58and you made reasons for yourself
-
10:58 - 11:03to choose that hobby, that house and that job.
-
11:03 - 11:05When alternatives are on a par,
-
11:05 - 11:07the reasons given to us, the ones
-
11:07 - 11:10that determine whether we're making a mistake,
-
11:10 - 11:13are silent as to what to do.
-
11:13 - 11:16It's here, in the space of hard choices,
-
11:16 - 11:18that we get to exercise
-
11:18 - 11:21our normative power,
-
11:21 - 11:24the power to create reasons for yourself,
-
11:24 - 11:25to make yourself
-
11:25 - 11:28into the kind of person
-
11:28 - 11:30for whom country living
-
11:30 - 11:33is preferable to the urban life.
-
11:33 - 11:35When we choose between
-
11:35 - 11:36options that are on a par,
-
11:36 - 11:40we can do something really rather remarkable.
-
11:40 - 11:44We can put our very selves behind an option.
-
11:44 - 11:47Here's where I stand.
-
11:47 - 11:50Here's who I am. I am for banking.
-
11:50 - 11:54I am for chocolate donuts.
-
11:54 - 11:56This response in hard choices
-
11:56 - 11:58is a rational response,
-
11:58 - 12:01but it's not dictated by reasons given to us.
-
12:01 - 12:08Rather, it's supported by reasons created by us.
-
12:08 - 12:10When we create reasons for ourselves
-
12:10 - 12:13to become this kind of person rather than that,
-
12:13 - 12:17we wholeheartedly become the people that we are.
-
12:17 - 12:20You might say that we become the authors
-
12:20 - 12:23of our own lives.
-
12:23 - 12:25So when we face hard choices,
-
12:25 - 12:27we shouldn't beat our head against a wall
-
12:27 - 12:30trying to figure out which alternative is better.
-
12:30 - 12:32There is no best alternative.
-
12:32 - 12:35Instead of looking for reasons out there,
-
12:35 - 12:37we should be looking for reasons in here:
-
12:37 - 12:40Who am I to be?
-
12:40 - 12:43You might decide to be a pink sock-wearing,
-
12:43 - 12:47cereal-loving, country-living banker,
-
12:47 - 12:51and I might decide to be a black sock-wearing,
-
12:51 - 12:54urban, donut-loving artist.
-
12:54 - 12:57What we do in hard choices is very much
-
12:57 - 13:01up to each of us.
-
13:01 - 13:05Now, people who don't exercise their
normative powers in hard choices -
13:05 - 13:07are drifters.
-
13:07 - 13:09We all know people like that.
-
13:09 - 13:11I drifted into being a lawyer.
-
13:11 - 13:13I didn't put my agency behind lawyering.
-
13:13 - 13:16I wasn't for lawyering.
-
13:16 - 13:19Drifters allow the world
-
13:19 - 13:21to write the story of their lives.
-
13:21 - 13:25They let mechanisms of reward and punishment --
-
13:25 - 13:29pats on the head, fear, the easiness of an option —
-
13:29 - 13:32to determine what they do.
-
13:32 - 13:34So the lesson of hard choices
-
13:34 - 13:39reflect on what you can put your agency behind,
-
13:39 - 13:41on what you can be for,
-
13:41 - 13:44and through hard choices,
-
13:44 - 13:47become that person.
-
13:47 - 13:50Far from being sources of agony and dread,
-
13:50 - 13:53hard choices are precious opportunities
-
13:53 - 13:55for us to celebrate what is special
-
13:55 - 13:57about the human condition,
-
13:57 - 14:00that the reasons that govern our choices
-
14:00 - 14:02as correct or incorrect
-
14:02 - 14:03sometimes run out,
-
14:03 - 14:07and it is here, in the space of hard choices,
-
14:07 - 14:08that we have the power
-
14:08 - 14:11to create reasons for ourselves
-
14:11 - 14:14to become the distinctive people that we are.
-
14:14 - 14:17And that's why hard choices are not a curse
-
14:17 - 14:19but a godsend.
-
14:19 - 14:21Thank you.
-
14:21 - 14:25(Applause)
- Title:
- How to make hard choices
- Speaker:
- Ruth Chang
- Description:
-
Here's a talk that could literally change your life. Which career should I pursue? Should I break up — or get married?! Where should I live? Big decisions like these can be agonizingly difficult. But that's because we think about them the wrong way, says philosopher Ruth Chang. She offers a powerful new framework for shaping who we truly are.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 14:41
Krystian Aparta commented on English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Krystian Aparta edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to make hard choices |
Krystian Aparta
The English transcript was updated on 12/22/2016.