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The Mega Huge Football Game Ad Newcastle Could've Made

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    We would have opened on a desert island, where a castaway washes ashore.
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    He spots a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale, pops it open, and boom!
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    Like two hundred women in bikinis would have appeared.
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    And they're lead by award-winning, extremely well respected actress, Anna Kendrick.
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    And she's wearing nothing but body paint.
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    It's sexy, but tasteful.
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    Anna says, "Let's turn this up!"
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    And instantly it turns into the greatest party of all time.
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    With everything you can imagine.
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    Even party sharks in a conga line.
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    But, uh oh!
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    What's that noise?
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    Bah, da da da! Bwah!
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    Hundreds of evil hyper-intelligent apes.
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    They start destroying everything.
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    And then, bam!
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    This huge evil robot rises from the water.
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    [robot] Destroy all humans.
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    This isn't CGI. This would have been a real, crazy expensive robot.
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    But then, wait.
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    Here come the skateboarding CGI cats to save the day.
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    Or maybe they're teacup pigs.
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    Or cats. We haven't decided.
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    The lead cat is voiced by Keyshawn Johnson.
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    He hits one of the evil apes right in the junk with a bottle of Newcastle,
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    and delivers some sassy line like,
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    "Deal with it!"
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    Just great slapstick comedy!
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    And Anna Kendrick says,
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    "Hey, giant robot. Game over!"
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    And she leads the crowd in a massive unified dance.
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    The power of party destroys the robot, like, blof!
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    It's beautiful!
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    You would have cried in front of all your friends.
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    And boom!
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    We would have unveiled one of those bands that yells "Hey!" a lot.
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    And they're playing their hit single, with all the lyrics changed so they're about Newcastle.
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    Then, Max the Newcastle Party Dog gives our hero a high five.
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    You'd be thinking,
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    "Man. This ad is the best movie I've seen all year. I love when Newcastle Brown Ale markets to me."
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    And then America would have sold out of Newcastle, and you would have emailed the ad to your mum.
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    And a million years from now, when the broadcast signal of this epic commercial
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    finally reached the alien planet of Depla-4,
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    the entire race of Deplarians would have watched it and used their uni-mind to have one single thought,
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    "Bee beed, dubuy degaid der baid. Dee pay pur."
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    Which roughly translates to
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    "Man! I bet that commercial sold a lot of beer!"
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    Epic explosion to logo!
Title:
The Mega Huge Football Game Ad Newcastle Could've Made
Description:

At Newcastle, we don't believe in making multi-million dollar Mega Football Game Ads. We do believe in creating multi-hundred dollar storyboards about them. http://www.IfWeMadeIt.com
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Video Language:
English
Duration:
02:29

English subtitles

Revisions

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