Mean Girls Analysis - Earthling Cinema

Greetings, and welcome to Earthling Cinema.

This week we are looking at Mean Girls, the 2004 smash

hit written by onetime Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin.

hit written by onetime Vice Presidential nominee
Sarah Palin.

A true departure from Palin's other work,
the film documents the sociopolitical climate

of the American "high school," one of the
most terrifying and dangerous places on Earth.

Our protagonist is Cady Heron, a teen-aged
human female who was raised on the continent

of Africa. Africa was inhabited primarily
by animals, so when Cady's family moves to

the American province of Illinois, she must
interact with other humans for the first time.

Cady quickly discovers that her posh life
in the plains of Africa could never prepare

her for the brutal savagery of the American
public school system.

We are introduced to their social order in a highly anthropological manner

...much in the same way Cady's zoologist parents would classify the five animal species of Africa:

horses, tall horses, dogs, birds,

and...

These subdivisions form the basis of the American
"high school" experience: segregation, ostracization,

and humiliation, not necessarily in that order.
Though there are adult humans present, they

are largely decorative. The school is controlled
by a student named Regina George.

Her first name, Regina, comes from the word
regis...which means "king" in Latin, the primary

language of Earth. And her last name, George,
is a reference to either the British ruler

from whom America took its independence...or
the clown prince of New York.

Either way, royalty.

Regina rules with an iron fist, implementing
a strict dress code

and striking fear in the hearts of anyone who would dare cross her, and most who wouldn't.

As part of her royal duties, Regina uses an official ledger to keep track of all the females in her class.

It becomes a sort of bible, which is appropriate,
since, like Earth's Christian bible, it's

just a list of people's names and some rumors
about them.

The religion of "high school" is a complicated
one with constantly shifting mores and attitudes,

but it basically boils down to this: math
is gross, and clothes are everything.

The "American Dream" is to walk confidently down hallways.

Also important is their preoccupation with
locking mouths, a pagan ritual meant to indicate

approval.

But despite the peaceful coexistence of many
disparate groups, there is tension in the ranks.

Regina is a dictator continuing in
the footsteps of such noted tyrants as Adolf

Hitler, Jimmy Carter, and Julius Caesar.

And like them, she would eventually be overthrown.
Indeed, as the total annihilation of the human

species would later prove, all great dynasties
must eventually fall. As is typically the

case, this revolution is spurred by the proletariat.

Together, the outcasts stage a coup to oust
their leader using undercover espionage, military

strategy, and biological warfare.

At the end of the film, Regina's throne has
been usurped and Cady is coronated. However,

she rejects the crown, dismantling the monarchy
in favor of a new, more egalitarian system:

Communism.

For Earthling Cinema, I am Garyx Wormuloid.
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