What I saw at the Ferguson protests

So, I'm afraid.

Right now,

on this stage,

I feel fear.

In my life, I ain't met many people

that will readily admit
when they are afraid.

And I think that's because deep down,

they know how easy it spreads.

See, fear is like a disease.

When it moves, it moves like wildfire.

But what happens when,

even in the face of that fear,

you do what you've got to do?

That's called courage.

And just like fear,

courage is contagious.

See, I'm from East St. Louis, Illinois.

That's a small city

across the Mississippi River
from St. Louis, Missouri.

I have lived in and around
St. Louis my entire life.

When Michael Brown, Jr.,

an ordinary teenager,

was gunned down by police in 2014
in Ferguson, Missouri --

another suburb, but north of St. Louis --

I remember thinking,

he ain't the first,

and he won't be the last young kid
to lose his life to law enforcement.

But see, his death was different.

When Mike was killed,

I remember the powers that be
trying to use fear as a weapon.

The police response to a community
in mourning was to use force

to impose fear:

fear of militarized police,

imprisonment,

fines.

The media even tried
to make us afraid of each other

by the way they spun the story.

And all of these things
have worked in the past.

But like I said,
this time it was different.

Michael Brown's death and the subsequent
treatment of the community

led to a string of protests in and around
Ferguson and St. Louis.

When I got out to those protests
about the fourth or fifth day,

it was not out of courage;

it was out of guilt.

See, I'm black.

I don't know if y'all noticed that.

(Laughter)

But I couldn't sit in St. Louis,
minutes away from Ferguson,

and not go see.

So I got off my ass to go check it out.

When I got out there,

I found something surprising.

I found anger; there was a lot of that.

But what I found more of was love.

People with love for themselves.

Love for their community.

And it was beautiful --

until the police showed up.

Then a new emotion was interjected
into the conversation:

fear.

Now, I'm not going to lie;

when I saw those armored vehicles,

and all that gear

and all those guns

and all those police

I was terrified --

personally.

And when I looked around that crowd,

I saw a lot of people that had
the same thing going on.

But I also saw people
with something else inside of them.

That was courage.

See, those people yelled,

and they screamed,

and they were not about
to back down from the police.

They were past that point.

And then I could feel
something in me changing,

so I yelled and I screamed,

and I noticed that everybody around me
was doing the same thing.

And there was nothing like that feeling.

So I decided I wanted
to do something more.

I went home, I thought:
I'm an artist. I make shit.

So I started making things
specific to the protest,

things that would be weapons
in a spiritual war,

things that would give people voice

and things that would fortify them
for the road ahead.

I did a project where I took pictures
of the hands of protesters

and put them up and down
the boarded-up buildings

and community shops.

My goal was to raise awareness
and to raise the morale.

And I think, for a minute at least,

it did just that.

Then I thought, I want to uplift
the stories of these people

I was watching being
courageous in the moment.

And myself and my friend,

and filmmaker and partner Sabaah Folayan

did just that with our documentary,

"Whose Streets?"

I kind of became a conduit

for all of this courage
that was given to me.

And I think that's part
of our job as artists.

I think we should be conveyors
of courage in the work that we do.

And I think that we are the wall
between the normal folks

and the people that use their power
to spread fear and hate,

especially in times like these.

So I'm going to ask you.

Y'all the movers and the shakers,

you know, the thoughts leaders:

What are you gonna do

with the gifts that you've been given

to break us from the fear
the binds us every day?

Because, see, I'm afraid every day.

I can't remember a time when I wasn't.

But once I figured out that fear
was not put in me to cripple me,

it was there to protect me,

and once I figured out
how to use that fear,

I found my power.

Thank you.

(Applause)