How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton
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0:11 - 0:13How does your brain fall in love?
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0:13 - 0:16Is it something magical
that happens to your brain, -
0:16 - 0:19or is there something biological
that happens to your brain -
0:20 - 0:22that causes us to fall in love?
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0:22 - 0:24That was my question.
-
0:24 - 0:26This is what we know about love:
-
0:27 - 0:32we know some neurotransmitters
increase and some drop. -
0:32 - 0:38Your cortisol level, the stress hormone,
increases causing you to feel nervous, -
0:38 - 0:44while your oxytocin level increases
causing you to feel amorous. -
0:45 - 0:50A woman's testosterone goes up
causing her to be more aggressive, -
0:50 - 0:54while a man's drops
causing him to be more passive. -
0:55 - 1:00And in both, their serotonin level drops
causing them to be a little more obsessed. -
1:01 - 1:06And, although we know what happens,
we don't know how you get there. -
1:07 - 1:09There are certain chemical
processes tjat happen, -
1:10 - 1:13including the tipping point,
where you have an increase; -
1:14 - 1:20and also an enzymatic reaction,
where you have a subsequent decrease. -
1:20 - 1:24Either of these would fit nicely
into that missing section. -
1:25 - 1:29So I was pondering this,
and I just happened to be on vacation. -
1:31 - 1:33I was visiting my family,
-
1:33 - 1:37and I have a cousin
who is a PhD in biochemistry, -
1:37 - 1:41so I decided to use
the opportunity to pick his brain. -
1:41 - 1:45I told him what I knew about love.
-
1:46 - 1:49I said, "Certain neurotransmitters go up,
certain ones go down. -
1:50 - 1:52I think it may be biochemical."
-
1:52 - 1:55I looked at him, and he gave
this expression of, "Plausible." -
1:56 - 1:59I said, "Some may have
a tipping point reaction." -
2:00 - 2:04He said, "Plausible," or looked plausible.
-
2:04 - 2:09And then, I said, "Others may be
enzymatic with a subsequent decrease." -
2:09 - 2:12Again, he gave me
the facial expression of plausible. -
2:12 - 2:15He's not a big talker, so I thought
this was going really well. -
2:16 - 2:17(Laughter)
-
2:18 - 2:21But before I could formulate
my next question, -
2:22 - 2:26my then 95-year-old grandmother
spoke up, and she said, -
2:27 - 2:29"You, youngsters, don't know
anything about love." -
2:30 - 2:35I was shocked, and I said, "Yeah, I know.
That's why we're talking about this." -
2:35 - 2:40She said, "Your problem is you,
young girls, jump into bed too quick. -
2:40 - 2:41(Laughter)
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2:42 - 2:46You fall in love, but a boy
doesn't fall in love that way." -
2:47 - 2:49And I kind of looked at her, and I said,
-
2:49 - 2:55"OK, let's talk a little bit more.
How does a boy fall in love?" -
2:55 - 2:58And she said, "Back in my day, a girl knew
-
2:58 - 3:01if she wanted a boy
to fall in love with her, -
3:01 - 3:04she couldn't sleep with him right away."
-
3:04 - 3:08Now, I had heard that stuff before:
there was things like the three-date rule, -
3:08 - 3:11there's the 90-day rule
from Steve Harvey's book, -
3:11 - 3:13"Act like a lady, think like a man,"
-
3:13 - 3:15but I always thought those were anecdotal.
-
3:15 - 3:18I didn't think there was
any science behind it, -
3:18 - 3:19so I looked over at my cousin.
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3:20 - 3:23His face no longer said plausible.
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3:23 - 3:27I decided to continue with my grandmother
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3:27 - 3:30because of the date;
the question was the date. -
3:30 - 3:36I said, "How long do you need
to wait before you have sex?" -
3:36 - 3:41She says, "Ah, you wait
to have sex until he falls in love." -
3:43 - 3:47"OK. Well, Granny, how
do I know when he falls in love?" -
3:48 - 3:52She says, "Oh, that's easy, you know
he's in love when he commits." -
3:54 - 3:57I looked over at my cousin,
and I was like, "What do you think?" -
3:58 - 4:01and he hung his head,
and he just shook it. -
4:01 - 4:02(Laughter)
-
4:03 - 4:06He said, "OK, Granny,
it's time to go home." -
4:07 - 4:09I realized he was not buying any of this,
-
4:09 - 4:13and my research had to
continue on another day. -
4:13 - 4:16I returned home,
and I hit the research library. -
4:17 - 4:18The problem
-
4:18 - 4:21is there's not a lot of research out
on how humans fall in love, -
4:21 - 4:24primarily, because of the way
we do research. -
4:24 - 4:26Imagine a guy saying, "Oh, I love you."
-
4:26 - 4:28He falls in love, and a researcher
walks up saying, -
4:28 - 4:32"Congratulations! Can I inject this into
your brain to see if it has an effect?" -
4:33 - 4:35You're not going to get many volunteers.
-
4:36 - 4:40So we had to rely on
the next best thing: animal studies. -
4:40 - 4:42But what animals fall in love?
-
4:43 - 4:48Well, we know when humans fall in love,
they show exclusiveness to one person, -
4:48 - 4:53so they started looking at
other creatures that mated exclusively. -
4:53 - 4:58And they ended up settling on these guys:
the monogamous prairie vole. -
4:59 - 5:03When a prairie vole finds a mate
that they're interested in, -
5:03 - 5:06they will, basically, mate for life.
-
5:06 - 5:08So they started looking at
the neurotransmitters -
5:08 - 5:10to see what was going on,
-
5:10 - 5:11and what they discovered
-
5:11 - 5:14was one of the first things
that increases is dopamine. -
5:15 - 5:22And if they block the dopamine,
they would lose the loving feeling. -
5:22 - 5:25So they thought, "Oh, dopamine,"
but they knew there was a problem. -
5:25 - 5:28Dopamine couldn't be it
with human romantic love -
5:28 - 5:31because dopamine goes up
with a lot of things. -
5:31 - 5:37It goes up with gambling,
chocolate, playing Candy Crush -
5:37 - 5:39(Laughter)
-
5:39 - 5:42so it couldn't possibly be dopamine.
-
5:42 - 5:45So they said, "Well, we know
there's another one -
5:45 - 5:48that's involved in bonding;
it's called oxytocin." -
5:49 - 5:54And oxytocin goes up with mothers
and children, that causes them to bond. -
5:54 - 5:58So they said, "Let's take a look at that,"
so they looked at that. -
5:58 - 6:01They found that when a female
finds a man she's interested in, -
6:01 - 6:04her oxytocin goes up by 51%,
-
6:04 - 6:08and then if they block it,
she loses that loving feeling. -
6:09 - 6:13So they said, "Ah, it must be
dopamine and oxytocin," -
6:14 - 6:15but there was a problem.
-
6:16 - 6:20It can't be oxytocin for a man,
because of testosterone. -
6:21 - 6:24Testosterone blocks
the effects of oxytocin. -
6:24 - 6:27So they said, "It's got to be
something different." -
6:27 - 6:31They looked at another one
that had a similar formula to oxytocin, -
6:31 - 6:33and that is vasopressin.
-
6:34 - 6:35So they did the study again.
-
6:35 - 6:41The voles would meet.
They'd have the vasopressin. -
6:41 - 6:45They'd inject an antagonist,
a chemical block to the vasopressin; -
6:45 - 6:47he would lose that loving feeling.
-
6:47 - 6:54So they said, "Oh, then it's got to be
dopamine and vasopressin for males, -
6:54 - 6:58and possibly some testosterone
because we know that it goes up." -
6:59 - 7:01So they said, "Ah, perfect."
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7:02 - 7:05What does that mean for us?
Is this applicable? -
7:05 - 7:06To find that out,
-
7:06 - 7:11I wrote to one of the Head of Studies
at Florida State University, and I asked, -
7:11 - 7:14"Is the vole study applicable to humans?"
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7:14 - 7:19His response is a little embarrassing;
he wrote back, "Of course, Dawn!" -
7:20 - 7:24The exclamation point is his.
-
7:25 - 7:27I didn't want to write back
for further clarification. -
7:27 - 7:30That was a little embarrassing,
so I didn't have to. -
7:30 - 7:35Fortunately for me, Tiffany Love,
from the the University of Michigan, -
7:35 - 7:38came out publicly,
and she said that she believed -
7:38 - 7:44that the vole studies
and human romantic love were similar. -
7:44 - 7:46So, great. Now what does that mean?
-
7:46 - 7:50Well, if we look back at the mechanism,
we can see that for females -
7:51 - 7:54that would mean dopamine increases
and oxytocin increases. -
7:55 - 7:59Dopamine increases when we're dating,
when we're going to win; -
7:59 - 8:02we are excited: we're going to win
the grand prize of love. -
8:02 - 8:06As long as you're dating and you're happy,
your dopamine is going up. -
8:06 - 8:11Oxytocin goes up; it's called
the cuddle hormone, or the trust hormone, -
8:11 - 8:16so when you're kissing, cuddling,
having a good time, oxytocin increases. -
8:16 - 8:19And as you're dating a man
and you're learning to trust him, -
8:19 - 8:21your oxytocin increases.
-
8:21 - 8:23But there's a catch.
-
8:23 - 8:28Oxytocin slowly builds up that way,
but it skyrockets at orgasm. -
8:31 - 8:35In other words, my grandmother
might have been on to something. -
8:35 - 8:37Remember what she said?
-
8:37 - 8:40"You girls, jump into bed
too quick; you fall in love." -
8:41 - 8:42It was starting to look like
-
8:42 - 8:46the science was panning out
from what my grandmother said. -
8:46 - 8:49So I looked at the other part:
how does a man fall in love? -
8:50 - 8:52If we look at it, dopamine...
-
8:52 - 8:54If he is having a good time,
his dopamine is going up, -
8:54 - 8:57but how does his vasopressin go up?
-
8:57 - 9:01Vasopressin goes up
when a man is sexually stimulated. -
9:01 - 9:04So if he's dating a woman
he's sexually interested in, -
9:04 - 9:06the vasopressin increases.
-
9:06 - 9:08But here's the catch:
-
9:08 - 9:13unlike oxytocin, vasopressin
drops when he has sex. -
9:15 - 9:16So how important is that?
-
9:16 - 9:21Well, I looked into it further;
Florida State University ran a study, -
9:21 - 9:24and they said it's not just
the neurotransmitters that are important. -
9:24 - 9:28You have to have the receptors.
And how do you get the receptors? -
9:28 - 9:31You get the receptors with the presence
of the neurotransmitters. -
9:31 - 9:34Neurotransmitters tell your body
to build the receptors, -
9:34 - 9:37so you have to have
the neurotransmitters high enough -
9:37 - 9:39to build the receptors
to, then, get them filled. -
9:39 - 9:41So that means it takes some time.
-
9:42 - 9:45But there was one other thing
my grandmother said, you remember? -
9:45 - 9:49"You know a man's in love with you
when he commits." -
9:50 - 9:52Could commitment
have anything to do with this? -
9:53 - 9:58To find that out, I found a study
from the United States Air Force. -
9:59 - 10:03The Air Force followed over
2,000 servicemen for more than a decade -
10:03 - 10:05taking various tests.
-
10:05 - 10:08One of test that they took
was for testosterone. -
10:09 - 10:12What they found is, when a guy
comes in, and he is single, -
10:12 - 10:17his testosterone is relatively high,
but as soon as he gets married, it drops. -
10:18 - 10:21Remember what I told you
about testosterone? -
10:21 - 10:24It blocks the effects of oxytocin.
-
10:24 - 10:26Oxytocin is a bonding hormone,
-
10:27 - 10:31so it was kind of looking like
it could have something to do with it, -
10:31 - 10:33but it needed further clarification.
-
10:33 - 10:36Was it marriage? Was it
actually commitment? -
10:36 - 10:38They did a study at Harvard University.
-
10:38 - 10:43They took married men, single men,
and men in committed relationships. -
10:43 - 10:45They tested their testosterone.
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10:45 - 10:47This is what they discovered:
-
10:47 - 10:48like the Air Force study,
-
10:48 - 10:54the single men had high testosterone,
-
10:54 - 10:58where the men that were married
had lower testosterone. -
10:58 - 11:03And here's the catch:
in the men that were married, -
11:03 - 11:06and in the men that were
in committed relationships, -
11:06 - 11:08the testosterone level did not differ.
-
11:08 - 11:12That means that the testosterone
didn't drop when he got married, -
11:12 - 11:15it dropped prior, when he committed.
-
11:16 - 11:20So that means my grandmother
looks like she was right. -
11:21 - 11:26Women take a bigger risk
and tend to fall in love when she has sex, -
11:27 - 11:31and men tend to fall in love
when he has commitment. -
11:32 - 11:35So that confirmed something for me
that I'd always suspected, -
11:36 - 11:39not just that women
tend to fall in love with sex -
11:39 - 11:40and men with commitment,
-
11:40 - 11:42something even more important,
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11:42 - 11:45and that is: my grandmother is brilliant.
-
11:45 - 11:47(Laughter)
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11:47 - 11:49(Applause)
- Title:
- How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton
- Description:
-
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
For centuries, poets and philosophers have speculated what causes two people to fall in love. Now, biologist Dawn Maslar M.S. puts an innovative twist on this age-old question. Science can now take the mystery out of love. Thanks to the latest neuroscience we can finally explain how your brain falls in love.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 11:58
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for How your brain falls in love | Dawn Maslar | TEDxBocaRaton |
Denise RQ
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