Twilight zone...The Hunt

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You're traveling
through another dimension-

a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind,

a journey into a wondrous land

whose boundaries
are that of imagination.

Your next stop,
the twilight zone.

Rachel,
open up in there.

Got my arms full.

Well, old man, what are
you hollering about?

You going to
suffocate in there

from lack of air.

Why don't you leave
the door open?

I got to keep that dog

out of the house
somehow-

coming in here
with his fleas

and with his ticks.

Aw, old woman, don't start
that commotion up again.

When i go in the house,

rip goes, too.

That dog saved my life.

Well...

let the ornery
thing come in.

And another thing-

don't talk about him
like that

when he can hear you.

Rip's got feelings.

I don't want them hurt.

I'll let him in the house,

and i'll feed him,
but i'll be switched

if i'm going to start
sweet-talking him.

Old woman,
you tickle me sometimes.

Uh, when's the last time
you got yourself kissed?

Well, the way i figure it,

it was in the spring of
nineteen and twenty-four.

Well, i figure
you got one coming.

Don't you come near me, old man.

Yes, sir, i've been thinking

about giving you a kiss

for the last month or two.

Oh, hyder, you sit down
and eat your supper

and stop talking silly.

I'll have my supper now, old woman.

There you are.

Old man...

i never said this to you...

...but we have
endured powerful well

over the years together.

Hmm?

Nearly 50 years
we've been married, eh?

Come october 16.

Long time to travel together.

Well, i wouldn't have had it
any other way.

Thank you, old woman.

Me neither.

Here, rip.

I'll feed that dog after supper.

He ain't going to be
here after supper.

Where's he going?

Where i'm going-
coon hunting.

Oh, hyder.

I wish you wouldn't
go hunting tonight.

Why not?

Well, three nights ago,

i saw blood on the moon.

You ought to have been
in bed sleeping.

You wouldn't have seen it.

And two days ago,
a bird flew in the house

and lit on your side of the bed
and nearly scared me to death.

There you go,
trying to spoil a good hunt.

Well, i'm a-going anyways.

Them signs
don't bother me at all.

Well, they bother me.

Now, you be careful,old man.

Don't you worry
about me, old woman.

I'll be back even before
midnight, more'n likely.

An old man
and a hound dog named rip

off for an evening's pleasure
in quest of raccoon.

Usually, these evenings end

with one tired old man,
one battle-scarred hound dog

and one or more
extremely dead raccoons,

but as you may suspect, that
will not be the case tonight.

These hunters won't be
coming home from the hill.

They're headed for the backwoods
of the twilight zone.

Smell him out there, boy.

He's around here somewheres.

You can get him.

Tree'd him, didn't you, boy?

Rip,
don't want to doubt your word,

but there ain't
no coon up there.

Trick ya, didn't he, boy?

Hold it back there, rip.

Come back here, rip!

Don't go in there!

I'll pull you out, rip!

Come back here, rip!

Hold on, hold on there, rip.

Come back here!

That coon'll drown you, rip.

That coon's got him down.

Huh! I'm coming, rip.

I'm coming, rip, hold it!

I'm coming!

Rip...

we must have trailed
that coon half the night.

Hungry, ain't you, boy?

Yeah, me, too.

So let's mosey along home

and see what rachel's got
for breakfast.

That old woman gives us
"hail, columbia"

for staying out all night.

I figure that's
about deep enough.

That ain't more
than three feet.

Three feet's deep
enough for a dog.

Any ordinary dog, maybe,

but according
to old man simpson,

rip ain't no ordinary dog.

Then you dig it.

It'll be kind of lonesome around
here without old man simpson.

Morning, boys.

Reckon them miller boys
gotten hard of hearing.

What you old boys up to?

Say, what you doing?

All right,
don't answer me, then.

I don't give a hoot
what you're doing.

If i ain't mistaken,

you're digging this hole
on my land.

Now, if you want to dig,
dig on your side of the fence.

Get moving.

I say get moving!

I ain't talking
just to move the wind around.

You get a move on

or i'm going to fill your
britches full of lead!

I figure that's just
about deep enough.

Have a little care.

It's just a dog.

Not to some folks.

Why didn't you tell me
you'd lost a dog?

How'd it happen?

Don't reckon i blame you
for not talking.

I don't reckon i would myself.

Well, rip, we're butting in
on other folks' troubles.

They're just
too heartbroke to talk.

And speaking of trouble,

that old woman's going to have
plenty of that for us.

Come on.

Looks to me like, rip, maybe
we got us a stroke of luck.

Could be the old woman's
still sleeping.

Morning.

All dressed up
like the fourth of july.

Old woman,
if you're figuring

on leaving me on account
on i stayed out all night,

you got another thing coming.

Lord be with you, sister.

Amen, brother.

I appreciate your coming,

even though he didn't belong
to the church.

I just never could
get him to go.

I realize brother simpson
wasn't a religious man,

but i figure he's still entitled
to a christian burial.

Now, just...
just hold everything.

Anybody's going to give
brother simpson a burial

you'd better ask brother simpson
how he feels about it.

I just been sitting here...

trying to figure it out.

It was just last night.

He was sitting there
at the supper table.

I begged him not to go.

There's been omens.

I've seen signs.

But he went.

The lord works in
mysterious ways.

Rachel,
listen to me-

there's been
a misunderstanding.

Miss rachel,

if you're ready, ma'am.

Well, he's in there.

Oh...

don't take on, old woman.

It's just a dream.

We'll wake up in a little

and everything'll be
like it ought to be.

What you old boys
got in there?

What you old boys
taking out of there?

Oh!

Who's in that box?

We'll find out
what all this is about

in a minute or two, rip.

The graveyard's just over
the top of the hill there.

Now, who in the tarnation
built this fence up here?

Rip, we must have taken
a wrong turn.

I don't memorize
ever seeing this fence before.

Well, we're bound
to come out somewhere.

Hello!

Anybody home in there?

Howdy, neighbor.

Howdy.

I wasn't expecting
nobody this morning.

Don't want to put you
to no trouble, friend,

but it seems like
i lost my way.

That's what everybody
says at first.

Now, what's your name, friend?

Simpson- hyder simpson.

I belong to that
bunch of simpsons

lives over on whale's mountain.

Rip and me here-

we never have traveled
this far before.

Never have
traveled so far

we couldn't see the top
of whale's mountain.

How old are you, neighbor simpson?

Well, sir, i been
walking the earth

for something
like 70 year now.

Arrived at the gate,
uh, 10:45...

i know it's none
of my business,

but would you tell me
what you're writing down in that book?

One more thing,
neighbor simpson-

how'd you die?

I was born
with a cheap set of ears.

I'm not sure i heard you right.

I said, "how did you die?"

Who claims i'm dead?

You wouldn't be here
if you wasn't dead.

Man, that's solid
flesh and bone there.

You feel that.

Think back, neighbor.

What did you do last night?

Well, sir, i'll tell you
exactly what i done.

Me and rip, we left the house
long about suppertime,

and rip, he picked up

a coon trail right away,

and like a coon will,
it headed for the water

and rip didn't do nothing

but go in after him.

About that time, i got there,

and i was running out
on this log and i...

hey, friend,
what's on the other side

of that gate there?

Well, that pasture
right up there

they call
the elysian field.

Cross that and you come
to the golden street

that takes you right
to the celestial palace

where the old master
has his headquarters.

Then i take you would aim
to be st. Peter.

I keep the gate, that's a fact.

Well, i'm mighty proud
to have met up with you.

Just as proud to have you here.

I always thought

there was a lot of singing
and dancing in heaven.

How come i don't hear no music?

You're on the outside.

Once inside, you'll hear
your favorite hymn.

Well, i don't care much
for hymn singing.

I favor guitar music myself.

Don't stand out here
in the cold, cold world.

Come on
Reap your heavenly reward.

Come on, rip.

Hold on, neighbor.

You can't take
that dog in there.

There ain't no fleas
on that dog.

That don't make no never mind.
He can't come in.

How come?

This here is folks' heaven.

There's a place we can put him,
though, up the road.

You just tie him to the fence,

and i'll walk him up later on.

Come on, rip.

Hold on, neighbor simpson.

Where do you think
you're going?

Thank you, but i don't reckon
in there is any place for me.

Why not?

Well, any place

that's too highfalutin for rip
is too fancy for me.

How thoroughbred
does a dog have to be

before you let him
in there, anyway?

Ain't no dogs allowed at all.

What kind of outfit
don't allow no dogs?

They got that special place
for dogs.

Me and rip will go on
down there, then.

You won't get in.

The dog, maybe, but not you.

What kind of heaven would it be
with just dogs?

A dog's got a right
to have a man around

just the same as a man's got
a right to have a dog around,

if he wants to be happy.

Neighbor, let me make you
a little proposition.

Why don't you go on in the gate,
and a little later on,

i'll slip the dog
through the fence to you.

It's breaking the rules,
but i'll do it.

Friend peter,
if i go in that front gate,

rip's going in
that front gate likewise.

I don't want him to get to
feeling that he ain't welcome.

I got another idea.

What are you doing there,
mister?

I'll hold on to your dog

and let you see
how you like it.

I don't have to go inside
to make up my mind.

Let me ask you
a practical question:

What kind of coon hunting would
i have in there without rip?

Man, they don't allow
no coon hunting.

Oh, you don't say.

Where do you think
you're going?

Me and rip's
going somewhere.

There ain't no
place else to go.

We'll go wherever
that road takes us.

Oh, that road
don't lead nowhere.

This is eternity road.

It just keeps on,
never stops, leads nowhere.

Me and rip'll do all right.

Neighbor, this is a right
serious step you're taking.

I'd say the best thing

is to sit out there
and think it over.

You've got all eternity
to make up your mind.

Good day to you, sir.

If you change your mind,
just let me know.

Much obliged.

I'll do that.

Eternity's a powerful
long spell to go

without a coon hunt,
ain't it, rip?

Don't you go off your feed
or nothing over this thing.

Wouldn't surprise me none
if i don't sneak in there

and talk to the judge,
or somebody.

Might be able to get you in.

Wonder what kind of a tea party
they keep in there, anyways.

Must be city folks, mostly.

They'd be the ones most likely
to outlaw coon hunting.

Let them sit in there
tootin' on their harps

or whatever they do
for relaxation,

me and you stays together.

Just like we was when
we was traveling down below.

Hmm...

least we ain't the only ones

wandering around

by ourselves
on the eternity road.

Howdy, son.

Howdy.

Ah...

i'm looking for
a mr. Hyder simpson

and a hound dog
name of rip.

Well, that's us.

Well, i figured it was.

Well, if you
and rip's all set,

we might as well
mosey along.

Mosey along where?

Heaven, mr. Simpson.

Well, now, like i told
that other fellow,

i ain't going to set foot
in heaven without rip.

You didn't get messed up
with nobody in there, did you?

That fellow at the gate.

He wouldn't let rip in,
so i didn't go.

Son...

that'd be a hell of a place
without rip.

Mr. Simpson...

you ain't far wrong.

That is hell.

Heaven's up yonder apiece.

Well, i'll be jiggered.

Now, how come that fellow

would want to lie to me?

Well, they don't never give up.

Always trying to get
folks in there

right down
to the last minute.

Well, what reason
would they have

for wanting to keep rip out?

They was a-feared
rip would have warned you.

And he would have, time he got
a whiff of that brimstone.

You see, mr. Simpson,

a man- well, he'll walk right
into hell with both eyes open,

but even the devil
can't fool a dog.

You wouldn't be st. Peter,
would you?

Oh, no, no, i... i'm just
a regular angel here.

Well, where's your wings, son?

Shucks, i don't use
them half the time.

I appreciate
walking myself.

You, uh...

about ready to go,
mr. Simpson?

Uh... uh, rip.

How's the coon hunting
up here, boy?

Oh, just fine,
mr. Simpson.

There's one tonight

right after the square dance.

Want to come along?

Wouldn't miss it
for the world.

Welcome to heaven,
mr. Simpson.

Thank you, son.

Right proud to be here.

Uh, rachel-
that's my old woman-

she won't have any trouble

getting past that fellow
up the road, will she?

Rachel? No, not her.

And she'll be along
directly, too, i'm told.

Well, glad to hear it.

Come along, rip.

Travelers to unknown regions
would be well advised

to take along the family dog.

He could just save you
from entering the wrong gate.

At least,
it happened that way once

in a mountainous area
of the twilight zone.