What is it like to be DEAF?

This VLOG is to educate the hearing people and help spread the awareness about our Deaf culture. The VLOG part two coming soon but If you have any stories to share what you or someone you know went through similiar experience and want to make a VLOG please contact us [e-mail] ---Def Familia

What is it like to be Deaf

Hello everyone I want to share my experience

growing up as a Deaf person

Really, it has not been easy...

This VLOG called "What is it like to be Deaf?"

The purpose of this video is to educate

and spread awareness to the hearing community.

First of all, I am not here to criticize of hurt their feelings

I feel the need to express so that -

the hearing pearents,friends and co-workers-

can understand how to deal with a Deaf person

so hopefully this video will help with a better understanding

as some of you already know I am adopted

I thank my adopted family

for everything they have done for me I really appreciate it

but there was always something missing

you know what I mean, like a true bond

the reasons for me saying that in which you will see

my personal experience that I am about to share.

While I was growing up, I always loved watching TV.

but in my household

my family were not aware of my Deaf needs.

it's not their fault I don't blame them

but i wished they knew then it would save my headaches.

but it's alright I had no regrets anyways

for example - I was sitting with my family watching movie

keep this in your mind there were no Closed Captions

so of course it was difficult for me to folllow the movie

I had to read people's lips on TV screen which was hard to do

sometimes I had to be close to the old-fashioned speakers

to try listen when I had no hearing aids

and watch TV to try to figure out what was going on

because I wanted to "hear" and feel the emotions of movie

but unfortunately half of time I don't get it

eventually I finally got new hearing aids

but was still having a hard time understanding

so when the movie was funny and my whole family laughed

of course I was the last one to know what's up

so I asked them "What did it say?"

and you know what my family members said?

"Put your hearing aids on"

Did you just said that?!

That was one of the things that lingered in the back on my mind

I didn't expect that from my family

so right there it made me realize

is it like that out there in the real world?

This came from my own family...

I understand they might didn't feel like explaining at the time

they could be mesmerized with the movie

and didn't want to be interrupted you know

but sometimes you're watching a movie and

and you don't want anyone to interrupt you?

Maybe they felt that way.

To me, I felt something was missing.

It hurts me, yeah.

When I was in middle school,

I went to the bus stop after school where all the kids got together

to wait for our buses to go home.

so when my bus arrived as I was getting in

I forgot my school bag so I told my teacher aide

that I forgot my school bag and I need to go get it from locker

my teacher aide told me to better hurry and get it

so I ran to the lockers that was right across from gym

I heard bunch of basketballs bouncing

of course I was curious as it led me to the gym

instead of finding my bag while the bus was waiting for me

as I opened the doors to go into the gym

all the kids were pointing at me telling the coach "that's him!"

I was like "huh?" I guess they've talked to the coach about me

because they were my classmates who saw

how I play basketball during gym class

by playing with hearing league

Coach was like "that's you?" and threw the ball at me

you know what he said to me?

He told me to do the lay-up and I laughed, "you serious?"

'cuz that was easy to do and I did that

you could tell he was impressed then

he told me to try left hand lay-up and I said, "ok"

when he saw that he was even more impressed

he asked my why didn't I join the boys' basketball team

I told him honestly I didn't know 'cuz I had no idea about this

I played for hearing league and I was a day student

I never knew that was going on at dorms and after school

so he gave me the form for my parents to sign

by end of the week so I said no problem

just then my teacher aide came around

and yelled at me, "What are you doing?!"

luckily the coach saved my ass and said it was his fault

for keeping me in the gym long so anyways

I went to get my school bag and went home

I gave the form to my parents not paying any mind

and my parents thought it was a good idea

because they know how much I love basketball

I brought the signed form to the coach

I warned him that I had no transportation

as my family is trying their best to make ends meet

the coach reassured him not to worry

he will take care of it figure out what to do

I should point out that I was 7th grader at the time

next thing I know I was approved to stay at dorm

because they want me to be on the team

to save trouble for everyone involved: school & home

by staying at the dorm it will help me a lot

I was so excited and nervous at the same time

one day after school I had bags with me ready

all the kids were excited to have me on board

so I followed them to where the dorm is at

as soon as I got into the dorm

the first thing I notice was TV with Closed Captions!

You have NO Idea how I felt!

I was so thrilled! I dropped my bags and went for the couch!

No one was gonna bother me as I watched the TV

I was so INSPIRED! I felt connected

my mind was processing differently now

seeing all the words and vocabularies I never saw before

finally I get it and am able to feel like I belonged!

All students and staff were looking at me like I was crazy

they thought I didn't have a TV at home

but they didn't realize I didn't have a Closed Captions

I asked everyone this TV got a Closed Captions?!

They said, "of course you're supposed to have one

because you're Deaf! What's wrong with you?"

I was like "ooh" and I saw a flashing light

I asked them what is that

and they said it's for when someone is ringing the door bell

wow I immediately learned about everything in dorm

my staff was a hearing guy and he knew how to sign

my mouth dropped open and it really hit me

this is where I finally felt like I belonged!

This is MY culture and Deaf world!

So of course I couldn't wait until Friday gets here

because I stayed at the dorm during the week

so when Friday came I couldn't wait to tell Mom about this

so they'll know that being at dorm is perfect for me

so when I got home I tried to explain to Mom

about the Closed Captions on TV but she didn't get it

I told her again I need Closed Captions

but she didn't hear me out so I let it go

I don't even bother her about it

I just couldn't wait until Monday gets here

So I get back to dorm and enjoy my life

enjoy being me where I can actually feel

the sense of belonging without feeling

something is missing or felling lost

I had a little sister who had a TV problem at the time

Mom bought a new TV for her that I didn't know about

when I got home on Friday as I was passing by

to my room I was able to see my sister's room

and I noticed there was a a new TV so of course I got curious

because I heard any TV that was made after 1995

had a built in Closed Captions as required by ADA law

so I checked and there it was-Closed Captions!

My TV didn't have one!

Finally this is what I'm talking about and I showed Mom

and she was like "and?"

I told her this is what I need so can we switch the TV?

She said, "no."

I tried to convince her that our TVs are really the same

the only differences is mine has no Closed Captions

but her does therefore I'm gonna need her TV

but Mom still said no so I accepted.

So you know what I did?

I waited until everyone was sleeping

I snuck around and switched the TV without getting caught.

I was so thrilled and I watched TV all night long!

I learned so much by reading the captions

that's why I write good and able to speak some words

all that by learning from the captions

it's almost like reading the dictionary without the meanings

so when I see the words I don't recognize I write them down

then look them up in dictionary later and learn about it

I felt like my brain was popping

because without Closed Captions I felt I was way behind

about a month later I was in my room 3rd floor in attic

still high on the excitement of not getting caught

as I was watching TV the hallway light was flashing

that was my mom flipping the light switch getting to get my attention

as I was checking to see what she wanted

Guess what she said?

"You got one minute to put the damn TV back downstairs!"

I was like shit. I said, "Mom" she said, "ONE MINUTE!"

She left.

I was trying to convince her to let me have the TV

because I don't have to bother them about what's being said

so what I did was I waited a while to see is she'll remeber

so I waited an waited sure enough she forgot all about it

I still had the TV but not anymore now

but I had that TV for a long time until I went to college

I even bought the TV with me!

But anyways, my point is make sure you provide

your Deaf child needs

even though you may think it is not that important

no you HAVE TO give them what they need

You know TTY? Well I learned about that at Deaf school, too

one time Lions Club hosted a Christmas party

that I had no idea about

they invited us to go

and there were a lot of kids there especially children

at that time I was the only Deaf person there

everyone got presents and I didn't know what mine was

but it was heavy and I still didn't know what it was

so I opened it and it was a TTY! I was thrilled!

Now I have the things I need to get by on daily basis

TV with Closed Captions and now TTY

I was starting to fell connected with my Deafness

but then again not 100% yet

so when I got home I had to wait because I didn't have

my Deaf friends' phone numbers since I never called anyone

so when I got to school I told everyone I got a new TTY

they all looked at me like that's nothing new they all have it

but I thought TTY was a new thing to have that only some had

I didn't know every deaf student had one

so what does that tell you? I was very behind.

Anyways, they gave me their phone numbers

and I waited until I got home on Friday

then during the weekend I'd call them and chat

I learned how to use TTY

there were times when I was out and about

or even when I'm in the house doing stuff

so when I get to school my friends be like

"you just got TTY and you didn't even pick up the phone"

I was puzzled 'cuz I had no idea they tried to call me

they kept saying you're not home you're not there

wow I was home and no one ever pass along the message

that they called for me

I felt like why didn't anyone communicate with me

I was like ok fine I'll wait until I get home to get bottom of this

I asked them did anyone called for me

they were like, "ohhh yeah yeah they did"

I was like (hiding disappointment) "okay"

It hurts, yeah, it hurts.

That's why being Deaf is really tough to live with

you have to depend on others to inform you about anything

even about those you didn't know about

it would be nice if you helped me live

the same way you live in a hearing world

Another example when my family were talking in living room

and I happen to pass them by to the kitchen

as soon as I walk by them they would cover their mouths

you could feel the weird vibe in that room

(whispering)

so of course I automatically I knew they were talking about me

they don’t realize that it is so offensive

very offensive when they do something like that

so the message to hearing people out there

do not try to hide your mouth when talking to someone else

whenever a Deaf person is around

even though you’re not talking about them

it’s about RESPECT

let’s say if I was hearing I’ll be able to hear what you’re saying

even if you’re not talking about me but about something else

would you still cover your mouth?

You understand what I mean?

It is important to make sure you welcome any Deaf person

and be part of the conversation.

Another thing that has happened in which

I remembered everything like it was yesterday

during my junior or senior year I dated an ex-girlfriend

who was hearing and very beautiful

anyways that’s beside the point but

every Friday really every Thursday night

I would sleep over at her apartment

‘cuz I had a basketball practice every Friday at 6am

At New Jersey School for the Deaf

I know some of y’all be like “6am?!” but yeah

she would drop me off every Friday morning to gym

but anyways when I got to her place that Thursday night

I saw her friend on the couch watching movie

with my ex-girlfriend who was sitting with her

her friend and I greeted each other

I made myself comfortable eating, drinking and watching TV

My ex-girlfriend always leave her phone nearby on the floor

so when it rings she’ll answer right there

I was never the type of person to inquire who’s calling

I trusted her

I don’t spy or check on her

maybe I was naïve at the time

I didn’t know so much about relationships

anyways, she answered her phone as usual

still sitting next to me unsuspiciously

but the question is who was she talking to? I had no idea who

she got up abruptly and went to the kitchen with her phone

but I thought nothing of it and she stayed there for a while

I actually thought she was cooking or washing the dishes

Her friend tapped my arm and told me to check on her

I asked her why

she said my girl was talking to someone else behind my back

and that I was clueless because I couldn’t hear

I muttered under my breath “ok fine thanks”

as soon as I walked into the kitchen and when she saw me

she opened the refrigerator freezer door to cover her face

so I wouldn’t see her mouth movement what she was saying

obviously something was up, right?

so what I did was swung the freezer door

and told her to tell her boyfriend that he can have her

and as I was leaving I told her friend, “thank you” and left.

my ex came running desperately tried to plead her case

but Silence is the Loudest Sound

since I found out the truth

it hurts me ‘cuz I was with her for a long time

I wondered how long have they been talking to each other

and what have they been doing behind my back?

That really hurt me a lot ‘cuz I got played

even though I was and always has been a good man

I don’t have to go further on how a good man I am

but I deserved better

not everyone are meant for each other

or it’s just that some hearing people are ignorant

but it’s not their fault

since they were never educated about Deaf culture

she learned her lesson at the time

and guess what? We remained friends

she realized it’s all part of growing up

we can’t stay angry and bitter if they did something wrong

it’s our responsibility to educate hearing people

as long they really want to learn about us

that’s wonderful attitude for us

I know many Deaf people are frustrated

and going against hearing people

but we can’t do that

we have to reach out to them and vice versa.

I make friends easily with hearing guys

from playing basketball together, of course, definitely

but some guys don’t realize that I’m Deaf

sometimes my Deaf friends came to park and join us

my friends were new to them when they saw us signing

‘cuz I rarely had any Dear friends over when I was younger

there were times when hearing guys were weirded out by us

and tried to be funny by making fun of us

Guess what I did? I fought with them.

I demand RESPECT.

That’s my language and my culture.

I want you all hearing people to understand

that’s very offensive when you do that.

Here’s another similar example

at my old job Bruce Street School for the Deaf

You know what that is at? It’s in Newark

I miss working there it’s a great school

Mainstream program school with hearing inner-city kids

that day there was a special assembly with a clown

Deaf students sat in the front row

While all hearing students sat in the rows behind

and the interpreter stood nearby the stage

interpreting what the clown was saying

but guess what? When the clown saw the interpreter

he thought it was funny and made fun of signing

deaf kids were shocked as they looked on

some hearing kids laughed while others were disappointed

very shocked and none of deaf kids laughed

Know what I did? I shouted, “Hey, what you think you doing?”

the clown was bewildered

we could tell that he didn’t really mean it but wow

this has happened in school!

I don’t know what happened afterward

I’m sure the principal and staff reprimanded him

not to do that again next time ‘cuz that’s our language

the interpreter is there to interpret what you’re saying

so that we can understand what you said

if it wasn’t for the interpreter

we would not be able to laugh at your jokes

that we would make you think you’re doing a lousy job

‘cuz you probably wondering why Deaf people not laughing

that’s because you don’t have an interpreter

so for you to make fun of interpreter is uncalled for

Don’t do that.

Anyways, I think I’ve shared enough stories

Really I have some more to share but I’m gonna save for later

and give y’all an opportunity to share your stories

so that hearing people can see what we had to go through

to at least have a better understanding

as I mentioned earlier we are not here to criticize anyone

we have to help them that’s our responsibility

to educate them what we are about

and why it is important for both of us to be on the same page

I know the issue of “what is it like to be Deaf?” is sensitive

So please listen to your Deaf child

Whatever they need for their deafness – give it to them

Especially when you have a new born baby

teach him/her sign language right away

y’all don’t have to be Deaf to learn sign language

‘cuz they’ll grow with the richness of both worlds

as soon as the baby is born it will learn sign language so quickly

if you think teaching them sign language is insignificant

you got that wrong.

I love you all one deaf luv thanks for watching us

Part 2 of “what is it like to be Deaf?” VLOG coming soon

but I would like to hear from y’all, too

so if you’re interested in filming VLOG let us know one def luv