What is it like to be Deaf
Hello everyone I want to share my experience
growing up as a Deaf person
Really, it has not been easy...
This VLOG called "What is it like to be Deaf?"
The purpose of this video is to educate
and spread awareness to the hearing community.
First of all, I am not here to criticize of hurt their feelings
I feel the need to express so that -
the hearing pearents,friends and co-workers-
can understand how to deal with a Deaf person
so hopefully this video will help with a better understanding
as some of you already know I am adopted
I thank my adopted family
for everything they have done for me I really appreciate it
but there was always something missing
you know what I mean, like a true bond
the reasons for me saying that in which you will see
my personal experience that I am about to share.
While I was growing up, I always loved watching TV.
but in my household
my family were not aware of my Deaf needs.
it's not their fault I don't blame them
but i wished they knew then it would save my headaches.
but it's alright I had no regrets anyways
for example - I was sitting with my family watching movie
keep this in your mind there were no Closed Captions
so of course it was difficult for me to folllow the movie
I had to read people's lips on TV screen which was hard to do
sometimes I had to be close to the old-fashioned speakers
to try listen when I had no hearing aids
and watch TV to try to figure out what was going on
because I wanted to "hear" and feel the emotions of movie
but unfortunately half of time I don't get it
eventually I finally got new hearing aids
but was still having a hard time understanding
so when the movie was funny and my whole family laughed
of course I was the last one to know what's up
so I asked them "What did it say?"
and you know what my family members said?
"Put your hearing aids on"
Did you just said that?!
That was one of the things that lingered in the back on my mind
I didn't expect that from my family
so right there it made me realize
is it like that out there in the real world?
This came from my own family...
I understand they might didn't feel like explaining at the time
they could be mesmerized with the movie
and didn't want to be interrupted you know
but sometimes you're watching a movie and
and you don't want anyone to interrupt you?
Maybe they felt that way.
To me, I felt something was missing.
It hurts me, yeah.
When I was in middle school,
I went to the bus stop after school where all the kids got together
to wait for our buses to go home.
so when my bus arrived as I was getting in
I forgot my school bag so I told my teacher aide
that I forgot my school bag and I need to go get it from locker
my teacher aide told me to better hurry and get it
so I ran to the lockers that was right across from gym
I heard bunch of basketballs bouncing
of course I was curious as it led me to the gym
instead of finding my bag while the bus was waiting for me
as I opened the doors to go into the gym
all the kids were pointing at me telling the coach "that's him!"
I was like "huh?" I guess they've talked to the coach about me
because they were my classmates who saw
how I play basketball during gym class
by playing with hearing league
Coach was like "that's you?" and threw the ball at me
you know what he said to me?
He told me to do the lay-up and I laughed, "you serious?"
'cuz that was easy to do and I did that
you could tell he was impressed then
he told me to try left hand lay-up and I said, "ok"
when he saw that he was even more impressed
he asked my why didn't I join the boys' basketball team
I told him honestly I didn't know 'cuz I had no idea about this
I played for hearing league and I was a day student
I never knew that was going on at dorms and after school
so he gave me the form for my parents to sign
by end of the week so I said no problem
just then my teacher aide came around
and yelled at me, "What are you doing?!"
luckily the coach saved my ass and said it was his fault
for keeping me in the gym long so anyways
I went to get my school bag and went home
I gave the form to my parents not paying any mind
and my parents thought it was a good idea
because they know how much I love basketball
I brought the signed form to the coach
I warned him that I had no transportation
as my family is trying their best to make ends meet
the coach reassured him not to worry
he will take care of it figure out what to do
I should point out that I was 7th grader at the time
next thing I know I was approved to stay at dorm
because they want me to be on the team
to save trouble for everyone involved: school & home
by staying at the dorm it will help me a lot
I was so excited and nervous at the same time
one day after school I had bags with me ready
all the kids were excited to have me on board
so I followed them to where the dorm is at
as soon as I got into the dorm
the first thing I notice was TV with Closed Captions!
You have NO Idea how I felt!
I was so thrilled! I dropped my bags and went for the couch!
No one was gonna bother me as I watched the TV
I was so INSPIRED! I felt connected
my mind was processing differently now
seeing all the words and vocabularies I never saw before
finally I get it and am able to feel like I belonged!
All students and staff were looking at me like I was crazy
they thought I didn't have a TV at home
but they didn't realize I didn't have a Closed Captions
I asked everyone this TV got a Closed Captions?!
They said, "of course you're supposed to have one
because you're Deaf! What's wrong with you?"
I was like "ooh" and I saw a flashing light
I asked them what is that
and they said it's for when someone is ringing the door bell
wow I immediately learned about everything in dorm
my staff was a hearing guy and he knew how to sign
my mouth dropped open and it really hit me
this is where I finally felt like I belonged!
This is MY culture and Deaf world!
So of course I couldn't wait until Friday gets here
because I stayed at the dorm during the week
so when Friday came I couldn't wait to tell Mom about this
so they'll know that being at dorm is perfect for me
so when I got home I tried to explain to Mom
about the Closed Captions on TV but she didn't get it
I told her again I need Closed Captions
but she didn't hear me out so I let it go
I don't even bother her about it
I just couldn't wait until Monday gets here
So I get back to dorm and enjoy my life
enjoy being me where I can actually feel
the sense of belonging without feeling
something is missing or felling lost
I had a little sister who had a TV problem at the time
Mom bought a new TV for her that I didn't know about
when I got home on Friday as I was passing by
to my room I was able to see my sister's room
and I noticed there was a a new TV so of course I got curious
because I heard any TV that was made after 1995
had a built in Closed Captions as required by ADA law
so I checked and there it was-Closed Captions!
My TV didn't have one!
Finally this is what I'm talking about and I showed Mom
and she was like "and?"
I told her this is what I need so can we switch the TV?
She said, "no."
I tried to convince her that our TVs are really the same
the only differences is mine has no Closed Captions
but her does therefore I'm gonna need her TV
but Mom still said no so I accepted.
So you know what I did?
I waited until everyone was sleeping
I snuck around and switched the TV without getting caught.
I was so thrilled and I watched TV all night long!
I learned so much by reading the captions
that's why I write good and able to speak some words
all that by learning from the captions
it's almost like reading the dictionary without the meanings
so when I see the words I don't recognize I write them down
then look them up in dictionary later and learn about it
I felt like my brain was popping
because without Closed Captions I felt I was way behind
about a month later I was in my room 3rd floor in attic
still high on the excitement of not getting caught
as I was watching TV the hallway light was flashing
that was my mom flipping the light switch getting to get my attention
as I was checking to see what she wanted
Guess what she said?
"You got one minute to put the damn TV back downstairs!"
I was like shit. I said, "Mom" she said, "ONE MINUTE!"
She left.
I was trying to convince her to let me have the TV
because I don't have to bother them about what's being said
so what I did was I waited a while to see is she'll remeber
so I waited an waited sure enough she forgot all about it
I still had the TV but not anymore now
but I had that TV for a long time until I went to college
I even bought the TV with me!
But anyways, my point is make sure you provide
your Deaf child needs
even though you may think it is not that important
no you HAVE TO give them what they need
You know TTY? Well I learned about that at Deaf school, too
one time Lions Club hosted a Christmas party
that I had no idea about
they invited us to go
and there were a lot of kids there especially children
at that time I was the only Deaf person there
everyone got presents and I didn't know what mine was
but it was heavy and I still didn't know what it was
so I opened it and it was a TTY! I was thrilled!
Now I have the things I need to get by on daily basis
TV with Closed Captions and now TTY
I was starting to fell connected with my Deafness
but then again not 100% yet
so when I got home I had to wait because I didn't have
my Deaf friends' phone numbers since I never called anyone
so when I got to school I told everyone I got a new TTY
they all looked at me like that's nothing new they all have it
but I thought TTY was a new thing to have that only some had
I didn't know every deaf student had one
so what does that tell you? I was very behind.
Anyways, they gave me their phone numbers
and I waited until I got home on Friday
then during the weekend I'd call them and chat
I learned how to use TTY
there were times when I was out and about
or even when I'm in the house doing stuff
so when I get to school my friends be like
"you just got TTY and you didn't even pick up the phone"
I was puzzled 'cuz I had no idea they tried to call me
they kept saying you're not home you're not there
wow I was home and no one ever pass along the message
that they called for me
I felt like why didn't anyone communicate with me
I was like ok fine I'll wait until I get home to get bottom of this
I asked them did anyone called for me
they were like, "ohhh yeah yeah they did"
I was like (hiding disappointment) "okay"
It hurts, yeah, it hurts.
That's why being Deaf is really tough to live with
you have to depend on others to inform you about anything
even about those you didn't know about
it would be nice if you helped me live
the same way you live in a hearing world
Another example when my family were talking in living room
and I happen to pass them by to the kitchen
as soon as I walk by them they would cover their mouths
you could feel the weird vibe in that room
(whispering)
so of course I automatically I knew they were talking about me
they don’t realize that it is so offensive
very offensive when they do something like that
so the message to hearing people out there
do not try to hide your mouth when talking to someone else
whenever a Deaf person is around
even though you’re not talking about them
it’s about RESPECT
let’s say if I was hearing I’ll be able to hear what you’re saying
even if you’re not talking about me but about something else
would you still cover your mouth?
You understand what I mean?
It is important to make sure you welcome any Deaf person
and be part of the conversation.
Another thing that has happened in which
I remembered everything like it was yesterday
during my junior or senior year I dated an ex-girlfriend
who was hearing and very beautiful
anyways that’s beside the point but
every Friday really every Thursday night
I would sleep over at her apartment
‘cuz I had a basketball practice every Friday at 6am
At New Jersey School for the Deaf
I know some of y’all be like “6am?!” but yeah
she would drop me off every Friday morning to gym
but anyways when I got to her place that Thursday night
I saw her friend on the couch watching movie
with my ex-girlfriend who was sitting with her
her friend and I greeted each other
I made myself comfortable eating, drinking and watching TV
My ex-girlfriend always leave her phone nearby on the floor
so when it rings she’ll answer right there
I was never the type of person to inquire who’s calling
I trusted her
I don’t spy or check on her
maybe I was naïve at the time
I didn’t know so much about relationships
anyways, she answered her phone as usual
still sitting next to me unsuspiciously
but the question is who was she talking to? I had no idea who
she got up abruptly and went to the kitchen with her phone
but I thought nothing of it and she stayed there for a while
I actually thought she was cooking or washing the dishes
Her friend tapped my arm and told me to check on her
I asked her why
she said my girl was talking to someone else behind my back
and that I was clueless because I couldn’t hear
I muttered under my breath “ok fine thanks”
as soon as I walked into the kitchen and when she saw me
she opened the refrigerator freezer door to cover her face
so I wouldn’t see her mouth movement what she was saying
obviously something was up, right?
so what I did was swung the freezer door
and told her to tell her boyfriend that he can have her
and as I was leaving I told her friend, “thank you” and left.
my ex came running desperately tried to plead her case
but Silence is the Loudest Sound
since I found out the truth
it hurts me ‘cuz I was with her for a long time
I wondered how long have they been talking to each other
and what have they been doing behind my back?
That really hurt me a lot ‘cuz I got played
even though I was and always has been a good man
I don’t have to go further on how a good man I am
but I deserved better
not everyone are meant for each other
or it’s just that some hearing people are ignorant
but it’s not their fault
since they were never educated about Deaf culture
she learned her lesson at the time
and guess what? We remained friends
she realized it’s all part of growing up
we can’t stay angry and bitter if they did something wrong
it’s our responsibility to educate hearing people
as long they really want to learn about us
that’s wonderful attitude for us
I know many Deaf people are frustrated
and going against hearing people
but we can’t do that
we have to reach out to them and vice versa.
I make friends easily with hearing guys
from playing basketball together, of course, definitely
but some guys don’t realize that I’m Deaf
sometimes my Deaf friends came to park and join us
my friends were new to them when they saw us signing
‘cuz I rarely had any Dear friends over when I was younger
there were times when hearing guys were weirded out by us
and tried to be funny by making fun of us
Guess what I did? I fought with them.
I demand RESPECT.
That’s my language and my culture.
I want you all hearing people to understand
that’s very offensive when you do that.
Here’s another similar example
at my old job Bruce Street School for the Deaf
You know what that is at? It’s in Newark
I miss working there it’s a great school
Mainstream program school with hearing inner-city kids
that day there was a special assembly with a clown
Deaf students sat in the front row
While all hearing students sat in the rows behind
and the interpreter stood nearby the stage
interpreting what the clown was saying
but guess what? When the clown saw the interpreter
he thought it was funny and made fun of signing
deaf kids were shocked as they looked on
some hearing kids laughed while others were disappointed
very shocked and none of deaf kids laughed
Know what I did? I shouted, “Hey, what you think you doing?”
the clown was bewildered
we could tell that he didn’t really mean it but wow
this has happened in school!
I don’t know what happened afterward
I’m sure the principal and staff reprimanded him
not to do that again next time ‘cuz that’s our language
the interpreter is there to interpret what you’re saying
so that we can understand what you said
if it wasn’t for the interpreter
we would not be able to laugh at your jokes
that we would make you think you’re doing a lousy job
‘cuz you probably wondering why Deaf people not laughing
that’s because you don’t have an interpreter
so for you to make fun of interpreter is uncalled for
Don’t do that.
Anyways, I think I’ve shared enough stories
Really I have some more to share but I’m gonna save for later
and give y’all an opportunity to share your stories
so that hearing people can see what we had to go through
to at least have a better understanding
as I mentioned earlier we are not here to criticize anyone
we have to help them that’s our responsibility
to educate them what we are about
and why it is important for both of us to be on the same page
I know the issue of “what is it like to be Deaf?” is sensitive
So please listen to your Deaf child
Whatever they need for their deafness – give it to them
Especially when you have a new born baby
teach him/her sign language right away
y’all don’t have to be Deaf to learn sign language
‘cuz they’ll grow with the richness of both worlds
as soon as the baby is born it will learn sign language so quickly
if you think teaching them sign language is insignificant
you got that wrong.
I love you all one deaf luv thanks for watching us
Part 2 of “what is it like to be Deaf?” VLOG coming soon
but I would like to hear from y’all, too
so if you’re interested in filming VLOG let us know one def luv