No Need to Be Loved
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0:00 - 0:02[music]
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0:10 - 0:15[Questioner] I have two questions.
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0:15 - 0:18The first one is about sadness.
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0:18 - 0:20[Mooji] About?
[Q.] Sadness. -
0:20 - 0:25[Mooji] Is it the more important one
of the two questions? -
0:25 - 0:31[Mooji] Of the two questions,
give me the best one first. -
0:31 - 0:37[Mooji] Because if you give
the less important one first, -
0:37 - 0:44[Mooji] then your mind will be
on the second question, waiting. -
0:44 - 0:53[Q.] OK, the other one.
[laughter] -
0:53 - 1:04The other one is about relationships.
[laughter] -
1:04 - 1:13[Mooji] I think this is the important one.
[Q.] Yes. [laughter] -
1:13 - 1:22[Mooji] The relationship and then the sadness.
[laughter] -
1:22 - 1:27[Mooji] I am only joking.
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1:27 - 1:34[Q.] It's about when I am in a relationship,
when I feel near, -
1:34 - 1:39when I feel very intimate with a person
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1:39 - 1:46and there comes a separation
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1:46 - 1:50or the person pushes me away,
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1:50 - 1:53I totally freak out.
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1:53 - 1:54[Mooji] Yes, yes.
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1:54 - 2:03[Q.] There is a feeling,
it's like an automatic reaction. -
2:03 - 2:04It comes by itself.
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2:04 - 2:08[Mooji] Automatic reaction.
[Q.] Automatically, yes. -
2:08 - 2:14[Mooji] Why do they push you away?
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2:20 - 2:32[Q.] Because I want to catch.
[Mooji] Yes. -
2:32 - 2:35[Mooji] You want to hold something.
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2:35 - 2:39It's too much for another person.
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2:39 - 2:48It's nice only for a short while.
It's nice only for a short while. -
2:48 - 2:53Somebody who feels insecure, maybe,
they may like this. -
2:53 - 2:57'You need me', but after a while it's too much.
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2:57 - 3:02You must not try to catch anybody.
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3:02 - 3:08You are not a spider. [laughter]
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3:08 - 3:12It's a reaction that comes inside
because something feels -
3:12 - 3:18maybe you are not worthy enough by yourself,
without any technique. -
3:18 - 3:25Then, already, it's not such good ground.
You must be aware of this. -
3:25 - 3:29Not that you can be
automatically strong like that. -
3:29 - 3:35But relationships also offer some opportunity
to discover what is true, -
3:35 - 3:48and to discover what within ourself
is so quick to compromise. -
3:48 - 4:00[Q.] Yes, I can see. But it's still there.
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4:00 - 4:04[Mooji] Then it's a good thing you come to satsang
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4:04 - 4:11because you can begin to look
at this tendency to cling. -
4:11 - 4:16Or it may be a fear of rejection,
or something like this. -
4:16 - 4:22Relationships don't work by trying,
like you try so hard. -
4:22 - 4:25It doesn't work like that. They don't work.
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4:25 - 4:27There has to be a freedom.
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4:27 - 4:31There has to be an inner strength,
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4:31 - 4:37a clarity, a wisdom - all of these things.
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4:37 - 4:41It doesn't work on, 'How much you give',
'I give so much'. -
4:41 - 4:43It's not a payment.
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4:43 - 4:47And how much you try, and you try, and you talk -
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4:47 - 4:49it doesn't work, it pushes people away.
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4:49 - 4:54Because this is too beautiful to try.
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4:54 - 4:57Something must come
and it must be there as a freedom. -
4:57 - 5:07If you are aware of this,
intuitively you know when to allow space. -
5:07 - 5:09All this will come.
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5:09 - 5:13I believe you must also make use of this insight.
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5:13 - 5:17You've come now and you see
that there is something that feels, -
5:17 - 5:22'I need to hold this thing'.
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5:22 - 5:26It's the same thing with freedom also.
Sometimes, you feel, 'Ah'. -
5:26 - 5:31As soon as you realize the true state,
you feel the immensity of Being, -
5:31 - 5:34something goes, 'How can I keep it?'
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5:34 - 5:38This one is the same one in the relationship.
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5:38 - 5:42'How can I keep it?'
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5:42 - 5:45How are you going to keep it?
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5:45 - 5:49A relationship is not something to keep.
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5:49 - 5:54It's to be enjoyed out of your freshness.
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5:54 - 5:58In your strength,
you find that everything becomes more pure. -
5:58 - 6:04Everything wants to be with you,
when you are empty of intention. -
6:04 - 6:13Too much intention creates tension.
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6:13 - 6:17When you are empty of this need,
from any kind of need, -
6:17 - 6:19and this is not an arrogance,
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6:19 - 6:23it means, in your natural state of being,
you don't need, -
6:23 - 6:28you don't need to be approved of.
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6:28 - 6:34You don't even feel you need to be loved.
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6:40 - 6:42Can you imagine such a thing,
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6:42 - 6:49being in a place where you don't even need,
you don't need to be loved? -
6:49 - 6:51It's a very quiet place.
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6:51 - 6:56In this place, your love becomes very open,
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6:56 - 7:03very broad, very beautiful, very strong.
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7:03 - 7:07But, for now,
I am not asking you to jump over this thing. -
7:07 - 7:13I say, Look at what it is that feels,
'Anything good, I must grab it'. -
7:13 - 7:16Just look at that.
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7:16 - 7:20Who is doing this?
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7:20 - 7:22Who needs this thing?
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7:22 - 7:26And be very, very quiet with this kind of question.
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7:26 - 7:28Just be very quiet.
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7:28 - 7:31In fact,
I am going to ask you to do this exercise. -
7:31 - 7:34Maybe tell me tomorrow what happened.
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7:34 - 7:39Just look and feel this,
recreate that scenario in your mind -
7:39 - 7:42and see what comes up and feels, 'Arghh',
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7:42 - 7:47if you are going to be abandoned or left,
something is behaving like this. -
7:47 - 7:52Take a look. What are you afraid of?
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7:52 - 7:54Push it to the extreme.
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7:54 - 7:58Go to the extreme in your image
and see what will be the worst. -
7:58 - 8:03In the worst case what is going to happen?
How is it going to feel? -
8:03 - 8:07And see who suffers it.
Who really is suffering it? -
8:07 - 8:13But don't forget that you are also observing.
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8:13 - 8:15So these three things.
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8:15 - 8:22One is, what do you imagine is going to happen
if your fear comes true? -
8:22 - 8:25That you are going to be rejected.
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8:25 - 8:29You cannot keep what you want to keep
and you'll feel pain. -
8:29 - 8:34Already, I look in your eyes, I see,
'Arghh, something is going to leave'. -
8:34 - 8:36Then you go and see what happens.
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8:36 - 8:39So you are left now, abandoned.
'Don't want you!' -
8:39 - 8:42Then feel what comes up
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8:42 - 8:47but also be very present
in the place where you are looking. -
8:47 - 8:49And be at the same time with the feeling.
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8:49 - 8:53See what happens. What are you afraid of?
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8:53 - 8:56This is very intelligent work: looking at it.
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8:56 - 9:01And then, somehow,
you feel maybe the worst feelings -
9:01 - 9:04of what you imagine is going to happen.
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9:04 - 9:08And then see, actually who really is suffering it.
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9:08 - 9:14See if you can identify
the one who is suffering it. -
9:14 - 9:17Don't fall inside the story though, just look.
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9:17 - 9:21Be very present, that you are looking at this,
but at the same time, -
9:21 - 9:25give it the best shot at really trying to see
and look. -
9:25 - 9:30You can do this with any feeling,
any kind of thought, you can do it. -
9:30 - 9:34Then you will come to see
what is functioning in your name -
9:34 - 9:37and find out, is it really you?
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9:37 - 9:42Or is it just some kind of image,
that is a projection of your mind? -
9:42 - 9:45And some space will come.
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9:45 - 9:52And that space will be something very important
to recover again. -
9:52 - 9:55Do not be afraid of this experience.
Invite it even! -
9:55 - 10:00Next time you invite the experience to come
and throw the best punch. -
10:00 - 10:03'Throw the best punch. Go to extreme.
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10:03 - 10:07But I will look at you only through my eyes.'
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10:07 - 10:12Look. Don't interfere. Don't judge.
Don't interpret. See if you can do it. -
10:12 - 10:15It's a skill that you will quickly develop
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10:15 - 10:21because the fruits of your looking are so sweet.
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10:21 - 10:26It will be sweeter than any relationship,
to discover your freedom. -
10:26 - 10:29'Aah, I am free of this thing.'
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10:29 - 10:31'It wasn't that I needed this thing
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10:31 - 10:34but what is more important
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10:34 - 10:39is that I see that
I am free of the need to be this.' -
10:39 - 10:45And amazingly, amazingly,
when that space is cleaned inside you, -
10:45 - 10:49what a beautiful attraction also.
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10:49 - 10:51People want to come.
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10:51 - 10:56If you have some agenda in your mind,
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10:56 - 11:00already you have an eye on someone, 'Hmm'.
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11:00 - 11:07And then you start to
get all your best fire power together ... -
11:07 - 11:09But they will smell it.
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11:09 - 11:16If they are a bit intuitive, they'll smell,
'This one's dangerous'. -
11:16 - 11:24'She's going to hit me on the head
and pull me inside and I am finished.' -
11:24 - 11:27But, honestly, this is a good thing to do.
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11:27 - 11:30Any sort of thing that you feel
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11:30 - 11:35is keeping your mind or your attention trapped
in a kind of scenario, -
11:35 - 11:39which you're afraid of, then you start to protect.
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11:39 - 11:43We protect our fears and our attachments,
our sense of vulnerability. -
11:43 - 11:48And it's not a good way to go through life at all,
as you know. -
11:48 - 11:53I don't even have to tell you,
because it takes so much energy. -
11:53 - 11:58So this is a way to go through these things.
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11:58 - 12:02If you like,
if you've really understood what I am asking, -
12:02 - 12:05then look at it.
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12:05 - 12:07I don't know if you're able to do it
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12:07 - 12:11outside of the actuality of the situation,
but some people can do it. -
12:11 - 12:16They can really re-present and create
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12:16 - 12:20their worst case scenario of suffering.
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12:20 - 12:25And they can really be present
and watch what happens inside. -
12:25 - 12:29If you are able to do this,
it will be a very good exercise for you. -
12:29 - 12:33And please, come,
and give me some feedback on what you have found. -
12:33 - 12:36[Q.] OK, yes, I think, I can.
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12:36 - 12:37[Mooji] Yes.
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12:40 - 12:49...and don't forget that you are also observing...
[music] -
12:53 - 12:57Video extract from the Satsang DVD
'Don't fight with Mind' -
12:57 - 12:5913th January 2012
Tiruvannamalai, India
- Title:
- No Need to Be Loved
- Description:
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Satsang with Mooji, 13th January 2012 in Tiruvannamalai, India
"Can you imagine such a place where you don't need to be loved?
It's a very quiet place. In this place your love becomes very open, very broad, very beautiful, very strong."
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Om Shanti - Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 13:03
saskiahalliwell edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
saskiahalliwell edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
devimooji edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
devimooji edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
devimooji edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
devimooji edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
devimooji edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved | ||
devimooji edited English subtitles for No Need to Be Loved |