A child of the state
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0:01 - 0:05Having spent 18 years as a child of the state
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0:05 - 0:07in children's homes and foster care,
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0:07 - 0:10you could say that I'm an expert on the subject,
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0:10 - 0:14and in being an expert, I want to let you know that
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0:14 - 0:20being an expert does in no way make you right
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0:20 - 0:23in light of the truth.
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0:23 - 0:27If you're in care, legally the government is your
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0:27 - 0:31parent, loco parentis.
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0:31 - 0:34Margaret Thatcher was my mother. (Laughter)
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0:34 - 0:38Let's not talk about breastfeeding. (Laughter)
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0:38 - 0:41Harry Potter was a foster child.
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0:41 - 0:46Pip from "Great Expectations" was adopted;
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0:46 - 0:49Superman was a foster child;
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0:49 - 0:53Cinderella was a foster child;
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0:53 - 0:57Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo,
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0:57 - 0:59was fostered and institutionalized;
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0:59 - 1:04Batman was orphaned;
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1:04 - 1:08Lyra Belacqua from Philip Pullman's "Northern Lights"
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1:08 - 1:09was fostered;
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1:09 - 1:12Jane Eyre, adopted;
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1:12 - 1:17Roald Dahl's James from "James and the Giant Peach;"
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1:17 - 1:22Matilda; Moses -- Moses! (Laughter)
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1:22 - 1:24Moses! (Laughter) --
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1:24 - 1:29the boys in Michael Morpurgo's "Friend or Foe;"
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1:29 - 1:33Alem in Benjamin Zephaniah's "Refugee Boy;"
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1:33 - 1:35Luke Skywalker --
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1:35 - 1:38Luke Skywalker! (Laughter) --
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1:38 - 1:41Oliver Twist;
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1:41 - 1:45Cassia in "The Concubine of Shanghai" by Hong Ying;
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1:45 - 1:48Celie in Alice Walker's "The Color Purple."
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1:48 - 1:53All of these great fictional characters, all of them
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1:53 - 1:57who were hurt by their condition,
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1:57 - 2:01all of them who spawned thousands of other books
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2:01 - 2:04and other films, all of them
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2:04 - 2:08were fostered, adopted or orphaned.
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2:08 - 2:14It seems that writers know that the child
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2:14 - 2:21outside of family reflects on what family truly is
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2:21 - 2:24more than what it promotes itself to be.
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2:24 - 2:29That is, they also use extraordinary skills
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2:29 - 2:34to deal with extraordinary situations on a daily basis.
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2:34 - 2:38How have we not made the connection?
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2:38 - 2:42And why have we not made the connection, between
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2:42 - 2:44— How has that happened? —
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2:44 - 2:47between these incredible characters of popular culture
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2:47 - 2:52and religions, and the fostered, adopted or orphaned child
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2:52 - 2:57in our midst? It's not our pity that they need.
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2:57 - 3:00It's our respect.
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3:00 - 3:02I know famous musicians,
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3:02 - 3:07I know actors and film stars and millionaires and novelists
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3:07 - 3:11and top lawyers and television executives
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3:11 - 3:13and magazine editors and national journalists
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3:13 - 3:16and dustbinmen and hairdressers, all who were
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3:16 - 3:20looked after children, fostered, adopted or orphaned,
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3:20 - 3:22and many of them grow into their adult lives
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3:22 - 3:27in fear of speaking of their background, as if it may
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3:27 - 3:31somehow weaken their standing in the foreground,
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3:31 - 3:35as if it were somehow Kryptonite, as if it were a time bomb
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3:35 - 3:39strapped on the inside. Children in care,
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3:39 - 3:42who've had a life in care, deserve the right
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3:42 - 3:48to own and live the memory of their own childhood.
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3:48 - 3:50It is that simple.
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3:50 - 3:54My own mother — and I should say this here —
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3:54 - 3:58she same to this country in the late '60s,
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3:58 - 4:02and she was, you know, she found herself pregnant,
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4:02 - 4:04as women did in the late '60s. You know what I mean?
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4:04 - 4:06They found themselves pregnant.
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4:06 - 4:11And she sort of, she had no idea of the context
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4:11 - 4:15in which she'd landed.
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4:15 - 4:19In the 1960s -- I should give you some context -- in the 1960s,
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4:19 - 4:22if you were pregnant and you were single,
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4:22 - 4:25you were seen as a threat to the community.
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4:25 - 4:31You were separated from your family by the state.
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4:31 - 4:33You were separated from your family and placed into
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4:33 - 4:36mother and baby homes.
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4:36 - 4:39You were appointed a social worker.
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4:39 - 4:41The adoptive parents were lined up.
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4:41 - 4:45It was the primary purpose of the social worker, the aim,
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4:45 - 4:49to get the woman at her most vulnerable time
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4:49 - 4:54in her entire life, to sign the adoption papers.
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4:54 - 4:56So the adoption papers were signed.
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4:56 - 4:59The mother and baby's homes were often run by nuns.
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4:59 - 5:03The adoption papers were signed,
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5:03 - 5:06the child was given to the adoptive parents, and the mother
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5:06 - 5:09shipped back to her community
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5:09 - 5:12to say that she'd been on a little break.
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5:12 - 5:14A little break.
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5:14 - 5:16A little break.
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5:16 - 5:20The first secret of shame for a woman
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5:20 - 5:25for being a woman, "a little break."
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5:25 - 5:28The adoption process took, like, a matter of months,
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5:28 - 5:32so it was a closed shop, you know, sealed deal,
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5:32 - 5:38an industrious, utilitarian solution:
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5:38 - 5:41the government, the farmer,
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5:41 - 5:45the adopting parents, the consumer,
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5:45 - 5:50the mother, the earth, and the child, the crop.
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5:50 - 5:55It's kind of easy to patronize the past,
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5:55 - 6:00to forego our responsibilities in the present.
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6:00 - 6:04What happened then is a direct reflection
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6:04 - 6:09of what is happening now. Everybody believed themselves
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6:09 - 6:13to be doing the right thing by God and by the state
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6:13 - 6:20for the big society, fast-tracking adoption.
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6:20 - 6:25So anyway, she comes here, 1967, she's pregnant,
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6:25 - 6:30and she comes from Ethiopia that was celebrating
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6:30 - 6:33its own jubilee at the time
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6:33 - 6:36under the Emperor Haile Selassie,
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6:36 - 6:41and she lands months before the Enoch Powell speech,
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6:41 - 6:43the "Rivers of Blood" speech.
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6:43 - 6:48She lands months before the Beatles release "The White Album,"
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6:48 - 6:51months before Martin Luther King was killed.
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6:51 - 6:53It was a summer of love if you were white.
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6:53 - 6:57If you were black, it was a summer of hate.
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6:57 - 7:02So she goes from Oxford, she's sent to the north of England
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7:02 - 7:07to a mother and baby home, and appointed a social worker.
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7:07 - 7:11It's her plan. You know, I have to say this in the Houses --
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7:11 - 7:15It's her plan to have me fostered for a short period of time
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7:15 - 7:19while she studies. But the social worker,
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7:19 - 7:22he had a different agenda.
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7:22 - 7:26He found the foster parents, and he said to them,
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7:26 - 7:30"Treat this as an adoption. He's yours forever.
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7:30 - 7:33His name is Norman." (Laughter)
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7:33 - 7:36Norman! (Laughter)
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7:36 - 7:38Norman!
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7:38 - 7:45So they took me. I was a message, they said.
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7:45 - 7:47I was a sign from God, they said.
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7:47 - 7:51I was Norman Mark Greenwood.
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7:51 - 7:54Now, for the next 11 years, all I know is that this woman,
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7:54 - 7:57this birth woman, should have her eyes scratched out
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7:57 - 8:00for not signing the adoption papers. She was an evil woman
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8:00 - 8:03too selfish to sign, so I spent those 11 years
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8:03 - 8:06kneeling and praying.
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8:06 - 8:09I tried praying. I swear I tried praying.
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8:09 - 8:12"God, can I have a bike for Christmas?"
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8:12 - 8:17But I would always answer myself, "Yes, of course you can."
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8:17 - 8:18(Laughter)
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8:18 - 8:21And then I was supposed to determine whether that
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8:21 - 8:25was the voice of God or it was the voice of the Devil.
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8:25 - 8:32And it turns out I've got the Devil inside of me.
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8:32 - 8:34Who knew? (Laughter)
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8:34 - 8:37So anyway, two years sort of passed,
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8:37 - 8:39and they had a child of their own,
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8:39 - 8:42and then another two years passed, and they had another child of their own,
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8:42 - 8:44and then another time passed
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8:44 - 8:46and they had another child that they called an accident,
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8:46 - 8:50which I thought was an unusual name. (Laughter)
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8:50 - 8:54And I was on the cusp of, sort of, adolescence,
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8:54 - 8:58so I was starting to take biscuits from the tin without asking.
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8:58 - 9:02I was starting to stay out a little bit late, etc., etc.
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9:02 - 9:05Now, in their religiosity, in their naivete,
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9:05 - 9:08my mom and dad, which I believed them to be forever,
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9:08 - 9:11as they said they were, my mom and dad
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9:11 - 9:18conceived that I had the Devil inside of me.
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9:18 - 9:20And what -- I should say this here, because this is how
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9:20 - 9:22they engineered my leaving.
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9:22 - 9:25They sat me at a table, my foster mom, and she said to me,
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9:25 - 9:27"You don't love us, do you?" At 11 years old.
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9:27 - 9:31They've had three other children. I'm the fourth. The third was an accident.
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9:31 - 9:35And I said, "Yeah, of course I do." Because you do.
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9:35 - 9:37My foster mother asked me to go away to think about love
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9:37 - 9:40and what it is and to read the Scriptures and to come back tomorrow
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9:40 - 9:43and give my most honest and truthful answer.
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9:43 - 9:46So this was an opportunity. If they were asking me
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9:46 - 9:48whether I loved them or not, then I mustn't love them,
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9:48 - 9:51which led me to the miracle of thought that I thought they wanted me to get to.
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9:51 - 9:53"I will ask God for forgiveness and His light will shine
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9:53 - 9:57through me to them. How fantastic." This was an opportunity.
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9:57 - 10:00The theology was perfect, the timing unquestionable,
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10:00 - 10:03and the answer as honest as a sinner could get.
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10:03 - 10:08"I mustn't love you," I said to them. "But I will ask God for forgiveness."
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10:08 - 10:10"Because you don't love us, Norman,
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10:10 - 10:12clearly you've chosen your path."
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10:12 - 10:15Twenty-four hours later, my social worker,
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10:15 - 10:18this strange man who used to visit me every couple of months,
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10:18 - 10:21he's waiting for me in the car as I say goodbye to my parents.
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10:21 - 10:24I didn't say goodbye to anybody, not my mother, my father,
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10:24 - 10:26my sisters, my brothers, my aunts, my uncles,
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10:26 - 10:30my cousins, my grandparents, nobody.
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10:30 - 10:33On the way to the children's home, I started to ask myself,
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10:33 - 10:36"What's happened to me?"
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10:36 - 10:39It's not that I'd had the rug pulled from beneath me
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10:39 - 10:44as much as the entire floor had been taken away.
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10:44 - 10:48When I got to the —
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10:48 - 10:52For the next four, five years,
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10:52 - 10:57I was held in four different children's homes.
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10:57 - 11:00On the third children's home, at 15,
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11:00 - 11:03I started to rebel, and what I did was,
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11:03 - 11:08I got three tins of paint, Airfix paint that you use for models,
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11:08 - 11:12and I was -- it was a big children's home, big Victorian children's home --
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11:12 - 11:13and I was in a little turret at the top of it,
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11:13 - 11:17and I poured them, red, yellow and green,
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11:17 - 11:22the colors of Africa, down the tiles.
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11:22 - 11:24You couldn't see it from the street, because the home
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11:24 - 11:27was surrounded by beech trees.
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11:27 - 11:32For doing this, I was incarcerated for a year
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11:32 - 11:35in an assessment center which was actually
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11:35 - 11:39a remand center. It was a virtual prison
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11:39 - 11:43for young people.
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11:43 - 11:45By the way, years later, my social worker said
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11:45 - 11:47that I should never have been put in there.
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11:47 - 11:50I wasn't charged for anything. I hadn't done anything wrong.
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11:50 - 11:54But because I had no family to inquire about me,
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11:54 - 11:59they could do anything to me.
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11:59 - 12:02I'm 17 years old, and
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12:02 - 12:06they had a padded cell.
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12:06 - 12:12They would march me down corridors in last-size order.
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12:12 - 12:14They -- I was put in a dormitory
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12:14 - 12:18with a confirmed Nazi sympathizer.
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12:18 - 12:21All of the staff were ex-police -- interesting --
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12:21 - 12:23and ex-probation officers.
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12:23 - 12:28The man who ran it was an ex-army officer.
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12:28 - 12:31Every time I had a visit by a person who I did not know
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12:31 - 12:34who would feed me grapes, once every three months,
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12:34 - 12:37I was strip-searched.
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12:37 - 12:40That home was full of young boys who were on remand
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12:40 - 12:45for things like murder.
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12:45 - 12:49And this was the preparation that I was being given
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12:49 - 12:55after 17 years as a child of the state.
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12:55 - 12:58I have to tell this story.
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12:58 - 13:00I have to tell it, because there was no one
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13:00 - 13:03to put two and two together.
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13:03 - 13:06I slowly became aware that I knew nobody
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13:06 - 13:10that knew me for longer than a year.
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13:10 - 13:12See, that's what family does.
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13:12 - 13:15It gives you reference points.
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13:15 - 13:17I'm not defining a good family from a bad family.
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13:17 - 13:19I'm just saying that you know when your birthday is
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13:19 - 13:22by virtue of the fact that somebody tells you when your birthday is,
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13:22 - 13:24a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, an aunt, an uncle,
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13:24 - 13:26a cousin, a grandparent. It matters to someone,
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13:26 - 13:28and therefore it matters to you. Understand,
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13:28 - 13:32I was 14 years old, tucked away in myself, into myself,
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13:32 - 13:37and I wasn't touched either, physically touched.
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13:37 - 13:45I'm reporting back. I'm reporting back simply to say that
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13:45 - 13:48when I left the children's home I had two things
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13:48 - 13:52that I wanted to do. One was to find my family,
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13:52 - 13:54and the other was to write poetry.
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13:54 - 13:56In creativity I saw light.
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13:56 - 14:01In the imagination I saw the endless possibility of life,
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14:01 - 14:07the endless truth, the permanent creation of reality,
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14:07 - 14:14the place where anger was an expression
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14:14 - 14:18in the search for love, a place where dysfunction
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14:18 - 14:22is a true reaction to untruth.
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14:22 - 14:26I've just got to say it to you all: I found all of my family
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14:26 - 14:29in my adult life. I spent all of my adult life finding them,
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14:29 - 14:33and I've now got a fully dysfunctional family just like everybody else.
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14:33 - 14:37But I'm reporting back to you to say quite simply
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14:37 - 14:42that you can define how strong a democracy is
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14:42 - 14:48by how its government treats its child.
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14:48 - 14:50I don't mean children. I mean the child of the state.
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14:50 - 14:55Thanks very much. It's been an honor. (Applause)
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14:55 - 14:57(Applause)
- Title:
- A child of the state
- Speaker:
- Lemn Sissay
- Description:
-
Literature has long been fascinated with fostered, adopted and orphaned children, from Moses to Cinderella to Oliver Twist to Harry Potter. So why do many parentless children feel compelled to hide their pasts? Poet and playwright Lemn Sissay tells his own moving story.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 15:17
Thu-Huong Ha edited English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Thu-Huong Ha approved English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Thu-Huong Ha edited English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Thu-Huong Ha edited English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Morton Bast accepted English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Joseph Geni edited English subtitles for A child of the state | ||
Joseph Geni added a translation |