Ted on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Hello there
(audience cheers)

He is the most famous stuffed toy since
Tickle Me Elmo

He is the star of the number one comedy
of the year

and he's got an unrated version of Ted

debuting today on Bluray and DVD

Please welcome, a guest without genitals,
Ted!

(band plays)
(audience cheers)

First of all, you look great, very plush

Congratulations on the success
of the movie

How's everything? How you doing?

I'm good, I'm good, man

Thanks for having me

This is so much fun

It's great to have you here

I love the movie. I thought it was
really hilarious

and you were great in it too

Well, you know I wanted to do a comedy

(crowd chuckles)

My last movie was, of course,

my rainforest documentary Stop Choppin'

(audience laughs)

(Host) I saw that

Did you see that? Yeah

(Host) Very powerful

Thank you

Now are you getting recognized a lot

now that you've done the movie?

Yeah, I am actually

The other day I was at the mall

and I was getting mobbed

(audience laughs)

and I had to run into a Build-A-Bear

just to blend in

(audience laughs)

Well that must be fun

it must be like going home for you

No, it's not fun

You ever been in one of them
Build-A-Bear places?

It's sick, it's sick

Why are you guys Frankenstein-ing bears
like Nazi doctors?

(audience laughs)

What kind of species are you
that you would do that?

It's a very good question

That's humans for you

You comfort us and we dismember you

(audience laughs)

That's great pal

Do you have any plans for the holidays?

I'm gonna go to the mall and ask Santa
for a penis

(host and audience laugh)

You can probably get that at Build-A-Bear

(audience laughs)

Yeah probably go right in

What's next for you career wise?

Have you been offered other film roles?

I have. They offered me Peter Dinklage's
part on Game of Thrones

(Host) They did?

They did, believe it or not

I turned it down

There are dragons there and I am
highly flammable

(host and audience laugh)

It wouldn't work out

(Host) Are there any plans to make Ted 2?

There are plans, yes

We're basically just gonna do
the same movie

but in Thailand, like The Hangover

(host and audience laugh)

(Host) You know, I have to say you look
a little zoned out

Are you stoned right now?

I, yes, no, no, no sir

I am not, drugs ruin lives.

(Host) ok, alright

So your movie Ted is out today
on Bluray and DVD

What will we see that we did
not see in theaters?

You can see basically all the stuff

that we didn't think was good enough
to be in the movie

(audience laughs)

There's a lot of deleted scenes

some extra crap

(audience laughs)

trading cards, Ted keychain

There's a cup of coffee in there

There is?

(audience laughs)

I hope I didn't spill it

Would you mind if we showed one
of the deleted scenes?

No, do it, do it pal

Alright, we have the clip right here,
I believe, let's take a look

(audience laughs)

(Guest) Wait a minute, no no no

(Host) Is that you?

(Guest) No, we got the wrong clip

(Host) Looks like you're getting some
action there

(Guest) Now before we judge here,

that dog used to run Universal Studios

(audience laughs)

(Guest) How do you think I got the job?

(Host) Well, you mean business

(Guest) I was all about succeeding

If you want to see unrated scenes from Ted

get the Bluray or DVD, in stores today

Thank you so much

(audience cheers)

It's a delight to have you here

Thank you so much

Ted, everybody

(audience continues cheering)