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I was on a long road trip this summer,
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and I was having
a wonderful time listening
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to the amazing Isabel Wilkerson's
"The Warmth of Other Suns."
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It documents six million black folks
fleeing the South from 1915 to 1970
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looking for a respite
from all the brutality
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and trying to get to a better
opportunity up North,
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and it was filled with stories
of the resilience and the brilliance
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of African-Americans,
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and it was also really hard to hear
all the stories of the horrors
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and the humility,
and all the humiliations.
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It was especially hard to hear
about the beatings and the burnings
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and the lynchings of black men.
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And I said, "You know,
this is a little deep.
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I need a break. I'm going
to turn on the radio."
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I turned it on, and there it was:
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Ferguson, Missouri,
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Michael Brown,
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18-year-old black man,
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unarmed, shot by a white police officer,
laid on the ground dead,
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blood running for four hours
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while his grandmother and little children
and his neighbors watched in horror,
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and I thought,
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here it is again.
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This violence, this brutality
against black men
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has been going on for centuries.
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I mean, it's the same story.
It's just different names.
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It could have been Amadou Diallo.
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It could have been Sean Bell.
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It could have been Oscar Grant.
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It could have been Trayvon Martin.
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This violence, this brutality,
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is really something that's part
of our national psyche.
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It's part of our collective history.
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What are we going to do about it?
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You know that part of us that still
crosses the street,
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locks the doors,
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clutches the purses,
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when we see young black men?
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That part.
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I mean, I know we're not
shooting people down in the street,
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but I'm saying that the same
stereotypes and prejudices
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that fuel those kinds of tragic incidents
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are in us.
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We've been schooled in them as well.
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I believe that we can stop
these types of incidents,
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these Fergusons from happening,
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by looking within
and being willing to change ourselves.
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So I have a call to action for you.
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There are three things that I want
to offer us today to think about
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as ways to stop Ferguson
from happening again;
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three things that I think will help us
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reform our images of young black men;
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three things that I'm hoping
will not only protect them
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but will open the world
so that they can thrive.
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Can you imagine that?
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Can you imagine our country
embracing young black men,
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seeing them as part of our future,
giving them that kind of openness,
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that kind of grace we give
to people we love?
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How much better would our lives be?
How much better would our country be?
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Let me just start with number one.
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We gotta get out of denial.
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Stop trying to be good people.
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We need real people.
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You know, I do a lot of diversity work,
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and people will come up to me
at the beginning of the workshop.
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They're like, "Oh, Ms. Diversity Lady,
we're so glad you're here" --
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(Laughter) --
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"but we don't have a biased bone
in our body."
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And I'm like, "Really?
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Because I do this work every day,
and I see all my biases."
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I mean, not too long ago, I was on a plane
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and I heard the voice of a woman
pilot coming over the P.A. system,
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and I was just so excited, so thrilled.
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I was like, "Yes, women,
we are rocking it.
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We are now in the stratosphere."
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It was all good, and then it started
getting turbulent and bumpy,
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and I was like,
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"I hope she can drive."
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(Laughter)
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I know. Right.
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But it's not even like
I knew that was a bias
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until I was coming back on the other leg
and there's always a guy driving
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and it's often turbulent and bumpy,
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and I've never questioned
the confidence of the male driver.
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The pilot is good.
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Now, here's the problem.
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If you ask me explicitly,
I would say, "Female pilot: awesome."
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But it appears that when things get funky
and a little troublesome, a little risky,
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I lean on a bias that I didn't
even know that I had.
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You know, fast-moving planes in the sky,
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I want a guy.
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That's my default.
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Men are my default.
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Who is your default?
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Who do you trust?
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Who are you afraid of?
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Who do you implicitly feel connected to?
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Who do you run away from?
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I'm going to tell you
what we have learned.
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The implicit association test,
which measures unconscious bias,
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you can go online and take it.
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Five million people have taken it.
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Turns out, our default is white.
We like white people.
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We prefer white. What do I mean by that?
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When people are shown images
of black men and white men,
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we are more quickly able to associate
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that picture with a positive word,
that white person with a positive word,
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than we are when we are
trying to associate
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positive with a black face,
and vice versa.
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When we see a black face,
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it is easier for us to connect
black with negative
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than it is white with negative.
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Seventy percent of white people
taking that test prefer white.
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Fifty percent of black people
taking that test prefer white.
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You see, we were all outside
when the contamination came down.
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What do we do about the fact
that our brain automatically associates?
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You know, one of the things
that you probably are thinking about,
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and you're probably like, you know what,
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I'm just going to double down
on my color-blindness.
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Yes, I'm going to recommit to that.
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I'm going to suggest to you, no.
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We've gone about as far as we can go
trying to make a difference
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trying to not see color.
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The problem was never that we saw color.
It was what we did when we saw the color.
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It's a false ideal.
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And while we're busy pretending not to see
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we are not being aware of the ways
in which racial difference
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is changing people's possibilities,
that's keeping them from thriving,
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and sometimes it's causing them
an early death.
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So in fact, what the scientists
are telling us is, no way.
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Don't even think about color blindness.
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In fact, what they're suggesting is,
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stare at awesome black people.
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(Laughter)
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Look at them directly in their faces
and memorize them,
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because when we look
at awesome folks who are black,
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it helps to dissociate
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the association that happens
automatically in our brain.
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Why do you think I'm showing you
these beautiful black men behind me?
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There were so many, I had to cut them.
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Okay, so here's the thing:
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I'm trying to reset your automatic
associations about who black men are.
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I'm trying to remind you
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that young black men
grow up to be amazing human beings
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who have changed our lives
and made them better.
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So here's the thing.
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The other possibility in science,
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and it's only temporarily changing
our automatic assumptions,
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but one thing we know
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is that if you take a white person
who is, like, odious, that you know,
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and stick it up next to a person of color,
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a black person, who is fabulous,
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then that sometimes actually
causes us to disassociate too.
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So think, like, Jeffrey Dahmer
and Colin Powell.
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Like, just stare at them, right?
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But these are the things.
So go looking for your bias.
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Please, please, just get out of denial
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and go looking for disconfirming data
that will prove that in fact
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your old stereotypes are wrong.
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Okay, so that's number one: number two,
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what I'm going to say is move toward
young black men instead of away from them.
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And, you know, it's not
the hardest thing to do,
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but it's one of these things where
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you have to be conscious
and intentional about it.
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You know, I was in
a Wall Street area one time,
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several years ago when
I was with a colleague of mine,
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and she's really wonderful
and she does diversity work with me
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and she's a woman of color, she's Korean.
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And we were outside,
it was late at night,
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and we were sort of wondering where
we were going, we were lost.
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And I saw this person across the street,
and I was thinking, "Oh great, black guy."
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You know, I was going toward him
without even thinking about it.
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And she was like,
"Oh, that's interesting."
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The guy across the street, you know,
he was a black guy.
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I think black guys generally
know where they're going.
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I don't know why exactly I think that,
but that's what I think.
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So she was saying, "Oh, you
were going, 'Yay, a black guy'?"
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She said, "I was going,
'Ooh, a black guy.'"
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Other direction. Same need,
same guy, same clothes,
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same time, same street,
different reaction.
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And she said, "I feel so bad.
I'm a diversity consultant.
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I did the black guy thing.
I'm a woman of color. Oh my God!"
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And I said, "You know what? Please.
We really need to relax about this."
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I mean, you gotta realize
I go way back with black guys.
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My dad is a black guy.
You see what I'm saying?
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I've got a 6'5" black guy son.
I was married to a black guy.
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My black guy thing
is so wide and so deep
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that I can pretty much sort
and figure out who that black guy is,
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and he was my black guy.
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He said, "Yes ladies, I know
where you're going. I'll take you there."
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You know, biases are the stories
we make up about people
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before we know who they actually are.
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But how are we going to know who they are
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when we've been told to avoid
and be afraid of them?
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So I'm going to tell you
to walk toward your discomfort.
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And I'm not asking you
to take any crazy risks.
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I'm saying, just do an inventory,
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expand your social
and professional circles.
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Who's in your circle?
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Who's missing?
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How many authentic relationships
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do you have with young black people,
folks, men, women?
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Or any other major difference
from who you are
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and how you roll, so to speak?
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Because you know what?
Just look around your periphery.
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There may be somebody at work,
in your classroom,
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in your house of worship, somewhere,
there's some black young guy there.
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And you're nice. You say hi.
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I'm saying go deeper, closer, further,
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and build the kinds of relationships,
the kind of friendships that actually
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cause you to see the holistic person
and to really go against the stereotypes.
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I know some of you are out there,
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I know because I have some white
friends in particular that will say,
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"You have no idea how awkward I am.
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Like, I don't think this
is going to work for me.
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I'm sure I'm going to blow this."
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Okay, maybe,
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but this thing is not about perfection.
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It's about connection.
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And you're not going to get comfortable
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before you get uncomfortable.
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I mean, you just have to do it.
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And young black men,
what I'm saying is
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if someone comes your way genuine
and authentically, take the invitation.
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Not everyone is out to get you.
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Go looking for those people
who can see your humanity.
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You know, it's the empathy
and the compassion
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that comes out of having relationships
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with people who are different from you.
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Something really powerful
and beautiful happens:
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you start to realize that they are you,
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that they are part of you,
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that they are you in your family,
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and then we cease to be bystanders
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and we become actors,
we become advocates,
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and we become allies.
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So go away from your comfort
into a bigger, brighter thing,
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because that is how we will stop
another Ferguson from happening.
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That's how we create a community
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where everybody, especially
young black men, can thrive.
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So this last thing is going to be harder,
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and I know it, but I'm just going
to put it out there anyway.
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When we see something, we have to have
the courage to say something,
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even to the people we love.
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You know, it's holidays
and it's going to be a time
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when we're sitting around the table
and having a good time.
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Many of us, anyways, will be in holidays,
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and you got to listen to
the conversations around the table.
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You start to say things like,
"Grandma's a bigot."
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(Laughter)
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"Uncle Joe is racist."
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And you know, we love Grandma
and we love Uncle Joe. We do.
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We know they're good people,
but what they're saying is wrong,
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and we need to be able to say something,
because you know who else is at the table?
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Children are at the table.
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And we wonder why these biases don't die
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and move from generation to generation?
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Because we're not saying anything.
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We gotta be willing to say, "Grandma,
we don't call people that anymore."
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"Uncle Joe, it isn't true
that he deserved that.
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No one deserves that."
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And we've got to be willing
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to not shelter our children
from the ugliness of racism
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when black parents don't
have the luxury to do so,
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especially those who have
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young black sons.
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We gotta take our lovely darlings,
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our future, and we've got to tell them
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we have an amazing country
with incredible ideals.
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We have worked incredibly hard,
and we have made some progress,
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but we are not done.
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We still have in us this old stuff
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about superiority and it is causing us
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to embed those further
into our institutions
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and our society and generations,
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and it is making for despair
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and disparities and a devastating
devaluing of young black men.
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We still struggle, you have to tell them,
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with seeing both the color
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and the character of young black men,
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but that you, and you expect them
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to be part of the forces of change
in this society
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that will stand against injustice
and is really above all other things
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to make a society where
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young black men can be seen
for all of who they are.
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So many amazing black men,
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those who are the most amazing
statesmen that have ever lived,
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brave soldiers,
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awesome, hardworking laborers.
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These are people who
are powerful preachers.
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They are incredible scientists
and artists and writers.
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They are dynamic comedians.
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They are doting grandpas,
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caring sons.
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They are strong fathers,
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and they are young men
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with dreams of their own.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)