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Hi kids.
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(Laughter)
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I'm 71.
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(Applause)
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My husband is 76.
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My parents are in their late 90s,
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and Olivia, the dog, is 16.
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So let's talk about aging.
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Let me tell you how I feel
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when I see my wrinkles in the mirror
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and I realize that some parts of me have dropped
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and I can't find them down there.
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(Laughter)
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Mary Oliver says in one of her poems,
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"Tell me, what is it that you plan to do
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with your one wild and precious life?"
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Me, I intend to live passionately.
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When do we start aging?
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Society decideds when we are old,
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usually around 65, when we get Medicare,
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but we really start aging at birth.
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We are aging right now,
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and we all experience it differently.
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We all feel younger than our real age,
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because the spirit never ages.
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I am still 17.
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Sophia Loren. Look at her.
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She says that everything you see
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she owes to spaghetti.
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I tried it and gained 10 pounds
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in the wrong places.
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But attitude, aging is also attitude and health.
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But my real mentor in this journey of aging
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is Olga Murray.
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This California girl at 60
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started working in Nepal to save young girls
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from domestic bondage.
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At 88, she has saved 12,000 girls,
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and she has changed the culture in the country.
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(Applause)
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Now it is illegal for fathers
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to sell their daughters into servitude.
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She has also founded orphanages
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and nutritional clinics.
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She is always happy
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and eternally young.
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What have I lost in the last decades?
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People, of course,
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places, and the boundless energy of my youth,
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and I'm beginning to lose independence,
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and that scares me.
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Ram Dass says that dependency hurts,
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but if you accept it, there is less suffering.
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After a very bad stroke,
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his ageless soul watches the changes
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in the body with tenderness,
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and he is grateful to the people who help him.
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What have I gained?
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Freedom: I don't have to prove anything anymore.
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I'm not stuck in the idea of who I was,
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who I want to be,
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or what other people expect me to be.
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I don't have to please men anymore,
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only animals.
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I keep telling my superego to back off
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and let me enjoy what I still have.
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My body may be falling apart,
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but my brain is not, yet.
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I love my brain.
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I feel lighter.
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I don't carry grudges, ambition, vanity,
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none of the deadly sins that are not even
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worth the trouble.
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It's great to let go.
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I should have started sooner.
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And I also feel softer
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because I'm not scared of being vulnerable.
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I don't see it as weakness anymore.
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And I've gained spirituality.
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I'm aware that before,
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death was in the neighborhood.
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Now, it's next door, or in my house.
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I try to live mindfully
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and be present in the moment.
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By the way, the Dalai Lama
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is someone who has aged beautifully,
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but who wants to be vegetarian and celibate?
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(Laughter)
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Meditation helps.
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(Video) Child: Ommm. Ommm. Ommm.
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Isabelle Allende: Ommm. Ommm. There it is.
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And it's good to start early.
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You know, for a vain female like myself,
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it's very hard to age in this culture.
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Inside, I feel good, I feel charming, seductive, sexy.
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Nobody else sees that.
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I'm invisible.
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I want to be the center of attention.
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I hate to be invisible.
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(Laughter) (Applause)
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This is Grace Daman. [?]
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She has been in a wheelchair for six years
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after a terrible car accident.
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She says that there is nothing more sensual
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than a hot shower,
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that every drop of water
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is a blessing to the senses.
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She doesn't see herself as disabled.
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In her mind, she's still surfing in the ocean.
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Ethel Seiderman, a feisty, beloved activist
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in the place where I live in California.
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She wears red patterned shoes,
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and her mantra is that one scarf is nice
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but two is better.
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She has been a widow for nine years,
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but she's not looking for another mate.
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She says that there is only a limited number
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of boys you can screw
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— well, she says it in another way —
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and she has tried them all.
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(Laughter)
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I, on the other hand,
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I still have erotic fantasies with Antonio Banderas,
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and my poor husband has to put up with it.
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So how can I stay passionate?
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I cannot will myself to be passionate at 71.
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I have been training for some time,
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and when I feel flat and bored, I fake it.
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Attitude, attitude.
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How do I train? I train by saying yes
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to whatever comes my way:
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drama, comedy, tragedy,
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love, death, losses.
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Yes to life.
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And I train by trying to stay in love.
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It doesn't always work,
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but you cannot blame me for trying.
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And, on a final note,
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retirement in Spanish is jubilación.
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Jubilation. Celebration.
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We have paid our dues.
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We have contributed to society.
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Now it's our time, and it's a great time.
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Unless you are ill or very poor,
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you have choices.
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I have chosen to stay passionate,
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engaged with an open heart.
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I am working on it every day.
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Want to join me?
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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Moderator: So Isabelle —
IA: Thank you.
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Moderator: First of all,
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I never like to presume to
speak for the TED community,
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but I would like to tell you that I have a feeling
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we can all agree that you are still charming,
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seductive, and sexy. Yes?
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IA: Aww, thank you.
(Applause)
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Moderator: Hands down.
IA: No, it's makeup.
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Moderator: Now would it be awkward
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if I asked you a follow-up question
about your erotic fantasies?
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IA: Oh, of course. About what?
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(Laughter)
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Moderator: About your erotic fantasies.
IA: With Antonio Banderas.
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Moderator: I was just wondering
if you have anything more to share.
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IA: Well, one of them is that — (Laughter)
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One of them is that I place a naked Antonio Banderas
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on a Mexican tortilla,
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I slather him with guacamole and salsa,
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I roll him up, and I eat him. (Laughter)
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Thank you.
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(Applause)