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I could never have imagined
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that a 19-year old suicide bomber
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would actually teach me
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a valuable lesson,
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but he did.
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He taught me to never presume anything
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about anyone you don't know.
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On a Thursday morning in July 2005,
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the bomber and I, unknowingly,
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boarded the same train carriage
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at the same time,
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standing, apparently, just feet apart.
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I didn't see him.
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Actually, I didn't see anyone.
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You know not to look
at anyone on the Tube,
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but I guess he saw me.
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I guess he looked at all of us
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as his hand hovered over
the detonation switch.
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I've often wondered, what was he thinking,
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especially in those final seconds?
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I know it wasn't personal.
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He didn't set out to kill
or maim me, Gill Hicks.
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I mean, he didn't know me.
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No,
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instead he gave me an unwarranted
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and an unwanted label.
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I had become the enemy.
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To him, I was the other,
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the them, as opposed to us.
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The label "enemy" allowed him
to dehumanize us.
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It allowed him to push that button,
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and he wasn't selective.
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26 precious lives were taken
in my carriage alone,
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and I was almost one of them.
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In the time it takes to draw a breath,
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we were plunged into a darkness
so immense that it was almost tangible,
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what I imagine wading
through tar might be like.
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We didn't know we were the enemy.
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We were just a bunch of commuters
who, minutes earlier,
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had followed the Tube etiquette:
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no direct eye contact, no talking,
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and absolutely no conversation.
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But in the lifting of the darkness,
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we were reaching out.
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We were helping each other.
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We were calling out our names,
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a little bit like a roll call,
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waiting for responses.
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"I'm Gill. I'm here.
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I'm alive.
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Okay."
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"I'm Gill. Here.
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Alive.
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Okay."
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I didn't know Allison,
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but I listened for her check-ins
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every few minutes