The philosophy of kindness | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon
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0:05 - 0:06Hello.
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0:07 - 0:10My Grandmother used to say,
"A kind person only has one eye." -
0:10 - 0:13She immediately added, "And I have two!"
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0:13 - 0:16For a longtime, I've concluded
that kindness isn't worth a mass. -
0:16 - 0:19Incidentally, if you remember
"Santa Claus is a Bastard", -
0:19 - 0:20Thierry Lhermitte said,
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0:21 - 0:24"I don't want to say it,
but Thérèse is really nice!" -
0:24 - 0:26And from that we took that kindness
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0:26 - 0:29was more on the side
of moral weakness than of strength. -
0:29 - 0:33Kindness signifies gullibility,
naivety, mushiness, -
0:33 - 0:37childish or feminine virtue, or at least,
definitely not a cardinal virtue. -
0:37 - 0:40So why am I interested in kindness?
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0:40 - 0:42It's still a mystery today.
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0:42 - 0:44But nevertheless,
I have started a conversion. -
0:44 - 0:46I don't know if you remember,
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0:46 - 0:52but in 2009, "Psychologie" Magazine
introduced Kindness Day in France -
0:52 - 0:53that happened the 13th of November.
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0:53 - 0:56It completely went unnoticed on my part.
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0:56 - 0:58At the time, I was working on cordiality.
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0:58 - 1:01The notions are very close,
if I do say so myself. -
1:01 - 1:02An editor friend had noticed.
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1:02 - 1:05He told me, "You should
write on kindness." -
1:05 - 1:09"Over my dead body! Listen, I don't want
to be labelled 'Philosopher of kindness'." -
1:09 - 1:13With that, I returned
to my studies with nonchalance, -
1:13 - 1:15and one day, piqued
by something I don't know, -
1:15 - 1:19I went to see what my colleagues,
living or dead, had written on kindness. -
1:19 - 1:21So I opened a dictionary.
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1:21 - 1:24Went to the letter K
in a philosophy dictionary, -
1:24 - 1:26in two philosophy dictionaries,
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1:26 - 1:29in all the philosophy dictionaries
I could find in the BNF, -
1:29 - 1:31the National Library of France,
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1:31 - 1:33and I found nothing on "kindness".
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1:33 - 1:35So I continued my quest further,
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1:35 - 1:39and I thought, "Are there books
that philosophers wrote on kindness?" -
1:39 - 1:40Since the Neanderthals, nothing.
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1:40 - 1:43So I thought, "In moral philosophy,
perhaps there's a chapter, -
1:43 - 1:45maybe there is a passage, a paragraph?"
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1:45 - 1:47And nothing.
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1:47 - 1:50And then I understood
that my contempt for kindness -
1:50 - 1:53was the fruit of my culture,
my philosophical culture. -
1:53 - 1:56And I became interested
in the history of kindness. -
1:56 - 1:59I found that its history
was passionate, thrilling. -
1:59 - 2:04And I thought, "Now that I get
why kindness signifies nobility, -
2:04 - 2:07I have to consolidate it
and make a virtue from it, -
2:07 - 2:11maybe not cardinal, but at least
a virtue backed by a moral. -
2:11 - 2:13And so this is was I'm going to tell you:
-
2:13 - 2:17the history of kindness,
in three periods and two movements. -
2:17 - 2:20I would say that the history
of kindness has three roots: -
2:20 - 2:23a Roman, a Christian, and a Medieval.
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2:24 - 2:27If all the roads lead to Rome,
kindness leaves from it. -
2:27 - 2:31"Gentīlis" in Latin denotes a noble,
one who is well-born. -
2:31 - 2:34One who is part of the 100 families
who founded Rome. -
2:34 - 2:37By the way, we call "gens"
the whole of these families, the clan, -
2:37 - 2:43who, by the way, constructed the politics
of the monarchy at Rome's beginning. -
2:43 - 2:46And then the term "gentīlis",
"gentīlēs" in plural, -
2:46 - 2:47will become tarnished.
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2:47 - 2:50Firstly, it denotes someone
who belongs to the family, -
2:50 - 2:53including one who is not
of noble blood, meaning slaves. -
2:53 - 2:55Then, one thing leads to another,
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2:55 - 2:59"gentīlis" will denote the nations
that belong to the Empire, -
2:59 - 3:01then the nations that are
outside the Empire. -
3:01 - 3:04So we can see that "gentīlis"
denotes a noble -
3:04 - 3:06just as much as the lowest in society.
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3:06 - 3:08Second root: the Christian.
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3:08 - 3:10Christians were looking
for a term, like the Jews, -
3:10 - 3:12to denote those who aren't Christian.
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3:12 - 3:15Jews have their own word.
In Hebrew, it's "goy". -
3:15 - 3:16"Goyim" in plural.
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3:16 - 3:20Christians will have their minds set on
a term that has already been tarnished, -
3:20 - 3:22namely: "gentīlis".
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3:22 - 3:25So, a gentile is someone
who is not Christian. -
3:25 - 3:27They aren't necessarily mean,
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3:27 - 3:30they're just a nonbeliever
and don't have the right faith. -
3:30 - 3:34Differently than Judaism,
the gentiles can be converted. -
3:35 - 3:39Saint Paul will be baptized
as an apostle to the gentiles in Latin, -
3:39 - 3:41even though he is Jewish
and speaks Greek. -
3:41 - 3:45That means he'll cross the Mediterranean
to convert those of the wrong faith -
3:45 - 3:47to the correct faith.
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3:47 - 3:48So that's it for Christianity.
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3:48 - 3:51Saint Thomas wrote
a great deal against the gentiles. -
3:52 - 3:53Third root: Medieval.
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3:53 - 3:58In the Middle Ages, after the invasions,
the nobleman became bored in his castle. -
3:58 - 4:02He practiced two virtues:
honor and charity. -
4:02 - 4:08He housed the villagers when the brigands
and other invading peoples came. -
4:09 - 4:13He turned towards Rome,
historically, spiritually, -
4:13 - 4:16and he proclaimed himself
"gentle man", in two words. -
4:16 - 4:18It's Guillaume Budé, from the Renaissance,
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4:18 - 4:21who will combine the two words to create
a neologism from them: gentleman. -
4:21 - 4:23So the gentleman is the aristocrat.
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4:23 - 4:24And what I find comical:
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4:24 - 4:27Imagine in the 12th century,
in a chapel or a church, -
4:27 - 4:30the priest is speaking to the gentleman
and his family in the first row, -
4:30 - 4:33and is speaking of Saint Paul,
the apostle to the gentiles. -
4:33 - 4:37In a unit of time, place, and action,
you have two meanings of gentile, -
4:37 - 4:40that come together
and are structured by Christianity. -
4:40 - 4:45"Gentile", is both "noble"
and "dishonorable" at the same time. -
4:45 - 4:49So there you have the history.
I find it fabulous. -
4:49 - 4:50It is longer...
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4:50 - 4:55It just so happens that the aristocracy
will weaken and become courtesans. -
4:55 - 4:57From the Renaissance,
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4:57 - 5:00it's Norbert Elias who explains this
in "The Royal Court", -
5:00 - 5:02noblemen will be structured
around the king. -
5:02 - 5:05And thus will flatter, will look
at themselves in the mirror, -
5:05 - 5:07play hide-and-seek
in the gardens of Versailles, -
5:07 - 5:09put on a wig, high heels,
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5:09 - 5:11and so will become
a Tartuffe, a hypocrite. -
5:11 - 5:14And noblemen will thus end.
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5:14 - 5:17In 1789,
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5:17 - 5:18aristocracy was put away with,
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5:18 - 5:22and that's the end of kindness
as a social lifestyle, -
5:22 - 5:25as a refined lifestyle,
as an aristocratic lifestyle. -
5:25 - 5:27But I see an opportunity there:
not in the French Revolution, -
5:27 - 5:31but in the fact that it abolishes
kindness as a lifestyle, -
5:31 - 5:35and provides an opportunity
for it to become a moral virtue, -
5:35 - 5:37and a republican virtue.
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5:37 - 5:40So this is what I'm trying
to theorize in a second phase. -
5:40 - 5:43Well, how do I define kindness,
taking inspiration from the street? -
5:43 - 5:45I thought, "Fundamentally,
what is it to be kind?" -
5:45 - 5:47There is of course
the idea of benevolence. -
5:47 - 5:50And I thought, "It's not
something very elevated. -
5:50 - 5:53You don't sacrifice, you're not
nailed to the cross when you're kind, -
5:53 - 5:55it's just giving a hand."
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5:55 - 5:58And so I thought, "It's cool
to be kind, it's a pocket moral. -
5:58 - 6:00It's a realistic moral.
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6:00 - 6:01It's a post-modern moral.
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6:01 - 6:04It's a moral without guilt."
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6:04 - 6:08And I'm against this moral that I call
an impressionist to the important morals, -
6:08 - 6:10those that I teach,
as a philosophy professor. -
6:11 - 6:12Some morals that aren't realistic:
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6:12 - 6:14the ataraxia of the Stoics,
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6:14 - 6:16the apathy of the Epicureans,
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6:16 - 6:19or those morals that raised
humanity above itself, -
6:19 - 6:22that were forges
with the three monotheisms, -
6:22 - 6:24and that tell us from morning to night,
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6:24 - 6:26and from birth until death
what we have to do. -
6:26 - 6:29But when we can't, we feel a giant guilt.
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6:29 - 6:35Kindness gives off the idea
of an important moral in subtle ways. -
6:35 - 6:38And these little subtleties
create a good mood in society. -
6:38 - 6:41By the way, putting it up against
the important morals, -
6:41 - 6:43I say that it's a moral of power
and not a moral of need. -
6:43 - 6:45I am kind when I want to be,
when I can be, -
6:46 - 6:47and certainly not when I need to be.
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6:47 - 6:51There isn't guilt when I don't give
a helping hand when I'm asked. -
6:51 - 6:52Why is it also a moral of power?
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6:52 - 6:56Because, it's good to remember,
we live in a cynical society. -
6:57 - 7:00Cynics are people that do unto others
as you would have them do, -
7:00 - 7:04to use them, to indenture them.
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7:04 - 7:09I think that cynics are defined first
as predators, as people who take. -
7:09 - 7:12And I think that people who take,
are people that lack. -
7:12 - 7:15A cocaine addict in a state of lack,
we know what that is. -
7:15 - 7:18But we look at ourselves less
in our society in such a state. -
7:18 - 7:20We look outside ourselves
to find what we lack. -
7:20 - 7:24That's why we take, in life,
in business, in politics today; -
7:24 - 7:26I will won't draw you a picture.
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7:26 - 7:29I think that the kind person
is someone that gives. -
7:29 - 7:32They're not in a state of lacking,
they are in a state of richness, -
7:32 - 7:33in a state of generosity,
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7:33 - 7:35and so, it's this excess
that they can give. -
7:35 - 7:37That is why it's a moral of power.
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7:37 - 7:40I also believe that it's
a moral of gentle power, -
7:40 - 7:45of soft power, as the Americans say,
meaning the power of gentleness. -
7:45 - 7:48When we want to open a door, in general,
you don't do that with your shoulder. -
7:48 - 7:50You look at how the knob is made,
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7:50 - 7:53and put our hand on it
to turn it in the right direction. -
7:53 - 7:56"Pull" is often written, and we push,
in stores, but in general, we manage. -
7:56 - 8:00And so I believe that there is
a kind of intelligence in this soft power. -
8:00 - 8:02That's why I say if kindness
belongs to empathy, -
8:02 - 8:06I'll distinguish it from two other
close forms it's often confused with: -
8:06 - 8:09firstly respect,
which I call, "cold empathy", -
8:09 - 8:12and concern, which I call,
"burning empathy". -
8:12 - 8:16So you guessed yourselves
that kindness was a "warm empathy". -
8:16 - 8:19Respect simply consists
of conforming to a rule, to a law. -
8:19 - 8:23It's leaving a parking spot
to a handicapped person. -
8:23 - 8:27It's not so much that we'll help them
get out of their chair. -
8:27 - 8:33Burning empathy was immortalized
on screen with, "Amélie". -
8:33 - 8:35It's wanting people's
happiness despite them. -
8:35 - 8:38I find that this virtue, concern,
is invasive and intrusive. -
8:38 - 8:41She wants people's happiness despite them,
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8:41 - 8:44and as you know, hell is paved
with good intentions. -
8:44 - 8:47Kindness is a kind of intelligence
that's located halfway between the two. -
8:47 - 8:49It's not really tepidness.
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8:49 - 8:50It's warm because it's intelligence:
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8:50 - 8:54it's through my mood that I can have
relationships with others' moods. -
8:54 - 8:56And what is it to be kind?
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8:56 - 8:58I'll give a short and sweet definition.
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8:58 - 9:00It's giving a helping hand
to someone who asks. -
9:00 - 9:02If they don't ask for it,
you don't have to help, -
9:02 - 9:04there we have our Amélie.
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9:04 - 9:06If we are asked, on the other hand,
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9:06 - 9:09it's up to us help or not to help.
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9:09 - 9:11In the two cases, we're not being mean.
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9:11 - 9:13But through this kindness,
we raise ourselves. -
9:13 - 9:18So the last thing that I would like
to say to raise this little moral, -
9:18 - 9:22this little virtue that was forgotten,
that was outdated, -
9:22 - 9:28is to say that we struggle
updating kindness in France, -
9:28 - 9:29because we have two reservations:
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9:29 - 9:32the first coming from cynical ideology,
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9:32 - 9:34that makes us predators,
so giving isn't seen as good. -
9:34 - 9:38The second comes from the heritage
of the French Revolution -
9:38 - 9:40that extols an absolute egalitarianism.
-
9:40 - 9:43The night of August, 4,
in France, it's in our genes, -
9:43 - 9:44it's gone into our DNA.
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9:44 - 9:49And so "to serve" is something
that puts us in the position of "serf", -
9:49 - 9:51of "servitude", and it's not easy.
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9:51 - 9:52And so we don't like serving.
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9:52 - 9:54I'll use the example of the café waiter.
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9:54 - 9:56We've at least two philosophers
who've done it: -
9:56 - 9:58Sartre, in "Being and Nothingness".
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9:58 - 10:01Sartre saw the image
of freedom, of "for oneself", -
10:01 - 10:04of someone that could be something
other than what they are: a café waiter. -
10:04 - 10:09I say that the café waiter illustrates
France's resistance to kindness, -
10:09 - 10:12because if you've done the experiment
at the café next door, -
10:12 - 10:14as soon as you sit down,
he's the one to take power. -
10:14 - 10:17It's not that he's mean,
but he resembles everything French: -
10:17 - 10:21he wants to show us that equality
is most important in human relationships. -
10:21 - 10:24And so, to be kind is to accept servitude.
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10:25 - 10:29As La Boétie said,
it shows voluntary servitude, -
10:29 - 10:31it's putting your knee on the ground.
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10:31 - 10:36In the face of "ego comes first",
which our society advocates, -
10:36 - 10:39I say that kindness forces us
to get outside of ourselves, -
10:39 - 10:41to empty us of ourselves.
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10:41 - 10:43I'm using a poor metaphor,
the one about the plumber. -
10:43 - 10:45But somewhere, when we are kind,
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10:45 - 10:48we do an existential
experiment like a siphon. -
10:48 - 10:52We siphon ourselves of ourselves
and that leaves room to welcome others. -
10:52 - 10:54And so, in conclusion,
I'll say three things: -
10:54 - 10:56"a kind person only has one eye",
my Grandmother said. -
10:56 - 10:58I loved my Grandmother but she was wrong.
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10:58 - 11:01I think it's the cynic that only has
one eye and is a huge Cyclops. -
11:01 - 11:04I think that the kind person
has three eyes: -
11:04 - 11:07they have two, plus the one from the heart
that's in the middle, the third eye. -
11:07 - 11:09And if kindness has any merit,
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11:09 - 11:12it's to provide cohesion
between the old societies of honor, -
11:12 - 11:14and our civilization of happiness.
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11:14 - 11:17I find you all very kind
for coming. (Laughter) -
11:17 - 11:18Thank you.
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11:18 - 11:19(Applause)
- Title:
- The philosophy of kindness | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon
- Description:
-
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.
Emmanuel Jaffelin defends an ethic of the "gentleman" which takes root in this "minor virtue", kindness, but which would define a more accessible moral than the unrealistically demanding standards of sainthood.
- Video Language:
- French
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 11:23
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ approved English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon | ||
Denise RQ edited English subtitles for La philosophie de la gentillesse | Emmanuel Jaffelin | TEDxParisSalon |