How to talk to veterans about the war
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0:01 - 0:03I'm excited to be here to speak about vets,
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0:03 - 0:05because I didn't join the Army
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0:05 - 0:07because I wanted to go to war.
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0:07 - 0:10I didn't join the Army because I had a lust
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0:10 - 0:13or a need to go overseas and fight.
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0:13 - 0:16Frankly, I joined the Army because
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0:16 - 0:17college is really damn expensive,
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0:17 - 0:19and they were going to help with that,
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0:19 - 0:21and I joined the Army because
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0:21 - 0:23it was what I knew,
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0:23 - 0:26and it was what I knew that I thought I could do well.
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0:26 - 0:29I didn't come from a military family.
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0:29 - 0:30I'm not a military brat.
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0:30 - 0:33No one in my family ever
had joined the military at all, -
0:33 - 0:35and how I first got introduced to the military
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0:35 - 0:37was when I was 13 years old
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0:37 - 0:40and I got sent away to military school,
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0:40 - 0:41because my mother had been threatening me
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0:41 - 0:45with this idea of military school
ever since I was eight years old. -
0:45 - 0:48I had some issues when I was coming up,
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0:48 - 0:50and my mother would always tell me, she's like,
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0:50 - 0:51"You know, if you don't get this together,
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0:51 - 0:52I'm going to send you to military school."
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0:52 - 0:54And I'd look at her, and I'd say, "Mommy,
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0:54 - 0:56I'll work harder."
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0:56 - 0:57And then when I was nine years old,
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0:57 - 1:00she started giving me brochures
to show me she wasn't playing around, -
1:00 - 1:01so I'd look at the brochures, and I'm like,
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1:01 - 1:03"Okay, Mommy, I can see you're
serious, and I'll work harder." -
1:03 - 1:05And then when I was 10 and 11,
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1:05 - 1:09my behavior just kept on getting worse.
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1:09 - 1:11I was on academic and disciplinary probation
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1:11 - 1:15before I hit double digits,
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1:15 - 1:18and I first felt handcuffs on my wrists
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1:18 - 1:19when I was 11 years old.
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1:19 - 1:21And so when I was 13 years old,
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1:21 - 1:23my mother came up to me, and she was like,
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1:23 - 1:25"I'm not going to do this anymore.
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1:25 - 1:26I'm going to send you to military school."
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1:26 - 1:28And I looked at her, and I said, "Mommy,
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1:28 - 1:31I can see you're upset, and
I'm going to work harder." -
1:31 - 1:33And she was like, "No, you're going next week."
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1:33 - 1:36And that was how I first got introduced
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1:36 - 1:38to this whole idea of the military,
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1:38 - 1:41because she thought this was a good idea.
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1:41 - 1:43I had to disagree with her wholeheartedly
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1:43 - 1:44when I first showed up there,
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1:44 - 1:46because literally in the first four days,
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1:46 - 1:48I had already run away five times from this school.
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1:48 - 1:50They had these big black gates
that surrounded the school, -
1:50 - 1:52and every time they would turn their backs,
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1:52 - 1:55I would just simply run out of the black gates
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1:55 - 1:57and take them up on their offer
that if we don't want to be there, -
1:57 - 1:58we can leave at any time.
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1:58 - 2:00So I just said, "Well, if that's the case,
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2:00 - 2:03then I'd like to leave." (Laughter)
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2:03 - 2:05And it never worked.
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2:05 - 2:07And I kept on getting lost.
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2:07 - 2:09But then eventually,
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2:09 - 2:11after staying there for a little while,
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2:11 - 2:13and after the end of that first year
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2:13 - 2:14at this military school,
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2:14 - 2:19I realized that I actually was growing up.
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2:19 - 2:23I realized the things that I enjoyed about this school
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2:23 - 2:25and the thing that I enjoyed about the structure
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2:25 - 2:28was something that I'd never found before:
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2:28 - 2:31the fact that I finally felt like I
was part of something bigger, -
2:31 - 2:33part of a team, and it actually mattered to people
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2:33 - 2:35that I was there,
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2:35 - 2:38the fact that leadership wasn't just a punchline there,
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2:38 - 2:41but that it was a real, actually core part
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2:41 - 2:43of the entire experience.
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2:43 - 2:45And so when it was time for me to actually
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2:45 - 2:47finish up high school,
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2:47 - 2:50I started thinking about what I wanted to do,
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2:50 - 2:52and just like probably most students,
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2:52 - 2:55had no idea what that meant or what I wanted to do.
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2:55 - 2:57And I thought about the people who I
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2:57 - 2:59respected and admired.
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2:59 - 3:01I thought about a lot of the people,
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3:01 - 3:04in particular a lot of the men, in my life
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3:04 - 3:06who I looked up to.
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3:06 - 3:08They all happened to wear the uniform
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3:08 - 3:10of the United States of America,
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3:10 - 3:12so for me, the question and the answer
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3:12 - 3:14really became pretty easy.
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3:14 - 3:16The question of what I wanted to do
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3:16 - 3:17was filled in very quickly with saying,
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3:17 - 3:20I guess I'll be an Army officer.
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3:20 - 3:22So the Army then went through this process
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3:22 - 3:23and they trained me up,
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3:23 - 3:25and when I say I didn't join the Army
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3:25 - 3:26because I wanted to go to war,
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3:26 - 3:29the truth is, I joined in 1996.
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3:29 - 3:31There really wasn't a whole lot going on.
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3:31 - 3:33I didn't ever feel like I was in danger.
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3:33 - 3:35When I went to my mom,
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3:35 - 3:36I first joined the Army when I was 17 years old,
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3:36 - 3:38so I literally needed parental permission
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3:38 - 3:39to join the Army,
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3:39 - 3:40so I kind of gave the paperwork to my mom,
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3:40 - 3:42and she just assumed it was
kind of like military school. -
3:42 - 3:44She was like, "Well, it was good for him before,
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3:44 - 3:46so I guess I'll just let him keep doing it,"
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3:46 - 3:49having no idea that the
paperwork that she was signing -
3:49 - 3:51was actually signing her son up
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3:51 - 3:54to become an Army officer.
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3:54 - 3:56And I went through the process,
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3:56 - 3:58and again the whole time still just thinking,
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3:58 - 4:02this is great, maybe I'll serve on a weekend,
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4:02 - 4:07or two weeks during the year, do drill,
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4:07 - 4:09and then a couple years after I signed up,
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4:09 - 4:12a couple years after my mother signed those papers,
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4:12 - 4:16the whole world changed.
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4:16 - 4:19And after 9/11, there was an entirely new context
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4:19 - 4:23about the occupation that I chose.
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4:23 - 4:27When I first joined, I never joined to fight,
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4:27 - 4:29but now that I was in,
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4:29 - 4:33this is exactly what was now going to happen.
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4:33 - 4:36And I thought about so much about the soldiers
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4:36 - 4:38who I eventually had to end up leading.
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4:38 - 4:41I remember when we first, right after 9/11,
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4:41 - 4:43three weeks after 9/11, I was
on a plane heading overseas, -
4:43 - 4:45but I wasn't heading overseas with the military,
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4:45 - 4:47I was heading overseas because I got a scholarship
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4:47 - 4:49to go overseas.
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4:49 - 4:50I received the scholarship to go overseas
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4:50 - 4:53and to go study and live overseas,
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4:53 - 4:55and I was living in England and that was interesting,
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4:55 - 4:56but at the same time, the same people who
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4:56 - 4:59I was training with,
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4:59 - 5:01the same soldiers that I went
through all my training with, -
5:01 - 5:04and we prepared for war,
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5:04 - 5:07they were now actually heading over to it.
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5:07 - 5:09They were now about to find themselves
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5:09 - 5:11in the middle of places the fact is
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5:11 - 5:13the vast majority of people,
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5:13 - 5:15the vast majority of us as we were training,
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5:15 - 5:19couldn't even point out on a map.
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5:19 - 5:21I spent a couple years finishing graduate school,
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5:21 - 5:23and the whole entire time while I'm sitting there
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5:23 - 5:25in buildings at Oxford
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5:25 - 5:27that were literally built hundreds of years
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5:27 - 5:29before the United States was even founded,
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5:29 - 5:32and I'm sitting there talking to dons
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5:32 - 5:36about the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand,
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5:36 - 5:40and how that influenced the start of World War I,
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5:40 - 5:42where the entire time my heart and my head
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5:42 - 5:45were on my soldiers
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5:45 - 5:47who were now throwing on Kevlars
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5:47 - 5:49and grabbing their flak vests
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5:49 - 5:51and figuring out how exactly do I change around
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5:51 - 5:54or how exactly do I clean a machine gun
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5:54 - 5:57in the darkness.
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5:57 - 6:00That was the new reality.
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6:00 - 6:02By the time I finished that up and I rejoined
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6:02 - 6:05my military unit and we were getting
ready to deploy to Afghanistan, -
6:05 - 6:06there were soldiers in my unit who were now
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6:06 - 6:08on their second and third deployments
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6:08 - 6:10before I even had my first.
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6:10 - 6:12I remember walking out with
my unit for the first time, -
6:12 - 6:13and when you join the Army
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6:13 - 6:15and you go through a combat tour,
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6:15 - 6:16everyone looks at your shoulder,
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6:16 - 6:20because on your shoulder is your combat patch.
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6:20 - 6:21And so immediately as you meet people,
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6:21 - 6:23you shake their hand,
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6:23 - 6:24and then your eyes go to their shoulder,
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6:24 - 6:26because you want to see where did they serve,
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6:26 - 6:27or what unit did they serve with?
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6:27 - 6:29And I was the only person walking around
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6:29 - 6:31with a bare shoulder,
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6:31 - 6:35and it burned every time someone stared at it.
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6:35 - 6:38But you get a chance to talk to your soldiers,
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6:38 - 6:42and you ask them why did they sign up.
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6:42 - 6:46I signed up because college was expensive.
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6:46 - 6:51A lot of my soldiers signed up
for completely different reasons. -
6:51 - 6:53They signed up because of a sense of obligation.
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6:53 - 6:54They signed up because they were angry
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6:54 - 6:56and they wanted to do something about it.
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6:56 - 6:58They signed up because
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6:58 - 6:59their family said this was important.
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6:59 - 7:02They signed up because they
wanted some form of revenge. -
7:02 - 7:06They signed for a whole
collection of different reasons. -
7:06 - 7:09And now we all found ourselves overseas
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7:09 - 7:13fighting in these conflicts.
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7:13 - 7:15And what was amazing to me was that I
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7:15 - 7:20very naively started hearing this statement
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7:20 - 7:23that I never fully understood,
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7:23 - 7:25because right after 9/11, you start hearing this idea
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7:25 - 7:27where people come up to you and they say,
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7:27 - 7:29"Well, thank you for your service."
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7:29 - 7:31And I just kind of followed in and started saying
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7:31 - 7:33the same things to all my soldiers.
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7:33 - 7:35This is even before I deployed.
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7:35 - 7:38But I really had no idea what that even meant.
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7:38 - 7:40I just said it because it sounded right.
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7:40 - 7:42I said it because it sounded like the right thing to say
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7:42 - 7:43to people who had served overseas.
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7:43 - 7:46"Thank you for your service."
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7:46 - 7:48But I had no idea what the context was
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7:48 - 7:50or what that even,
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7:50 - 7:54what it even meant to the people who heard it.
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7:54 - 7:59When I first came back from Afghanistan,
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7:59 - 8:02I thought that if you make it back from conflict,
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8:02 - 8:06then the dangers were all over.
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8:06 - 8:08I thought that if you made it
back from a conflict zone -
8:08 - 8:10that somehow you could kind of
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8:10 - 8:12wipe the sweat off your brow and say,
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8:12 - 8:15"Whew, I'm glad I dodged that one,"
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8:15 - 8:17without understanding that for so many people,
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8:17 - 8:19as they come back home,
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8:19 - 8:22the war keeps going.
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8:22 - 8:24It keeps playing out in all of our minds.
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8:24 - 8:27It plays out in all of our memories.
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8:27 - 8:31It plays out in all of our emotions.
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8:31 - 8:33Please forgive us
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8:33 - 8:38if we don't like being in big crowds.
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8:38 - 8:40Please forgive us
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8:40 - 8:42when we spend one week in a place
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8:42 - 8:45that has 100 percent light discipline,
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8:45 - 8:47because you're not allowed to
walk around with white lights, -
8:47 - 8:48because if anything has a white light,
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8:48 - 8:50it can be seen from miles away,
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8:50 - 8:52versus if you use little green
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8:52 - 8:53or little blue lights,
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8:53 - 8:55they cannot be seen from far away.
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8:55 - 8:57So please forgive us if out of nowhere,
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8:57 - 9:00we go from having 100 percent light discipline
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9:00 - 9:03to then a week later being back
in the middle of Times Square, -
9:03 - 9:08and we have a difficult time adjusting to that.
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9:08 - 9:09Please forgive us
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9:09 - 9:11when you transition back to a family
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9:11 - 9:15who has completely been maneuvering without you,
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9:15 - 9:17and now when you come back, it's not that easy
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9:17 - 9:21to fall back into a sense of normality,
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9:21 - 9:25because the whole normal has changed.
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9:25 - 9:29I remember when I came back,
I wanted to talk to people. -
9:29 - 9:32I wanted people to ask me about my experiences.
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9:32 - 9:33I wanted people to come up to me and tell me,
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9:33 - 9:35"What did you do?"
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9:35 - 9:36I wanted people to come up to me and tell me,
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9:36 - 9:38"What was it like? What was the food like?
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9:38 - 9:42What was the experience like? How are you doing?"
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9:42 - 9:44And the only questions I got from people was,
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9:44 - 9:47"Did you shoot anybody?"
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9:47 - 9:49And those were the ones who were even curious
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9:49 - 9:53enough to say anything.
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9:53 - 9:54Because sometimes there's this fear
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9:54 - 9:56and there's this apprehension that if I say anything,
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9:56 - 9:57I'm afraid I'll offend,
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9:57 - 9:59or I'm afraid I'll trigger something,
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9:59 - 10:03so the common default is just saying nothing.
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10:03 - 10:06The problem with that
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10:06 - 10:07is then it feels like your service
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10:07 - 10:10was not even acknowledged,
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10:10 - 10:13like no one even cared.
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10:13 - 10:16"Thank you for your service,"
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10:16 - 10:19and we move on.
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10:19 - 10:22What I wanted to better understand
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10:22 - 10:25was what's behind that,
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10:25 - 10:31and why "thank you for your service" isn't enough.
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10:31 - 10:34The fact is, we have literally
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10:34 - 10:372.6 million men and women
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10:37 - 10:40who are veterans of Iraq or Afghanistan
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10:40 - 10:43who are all amongst us.
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10:43 - 10:44Sometimes we know who they are,
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10:44 - 10:47sometimes we don't,
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10:47 - 10:49but there is that feeling, the shared experience,
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10:49 - 10:52the shared bond
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10:52 - 10:54where we know that that experience
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10:54 - 10:56and that chapter of our life,
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10:56 - 10:59while it might be closed,
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10:59 - 11:03it's still not over.
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11:03 - 11:05We think about "thank you for your service,"
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11:05 - 11:07and people say, "So what does 'thank
you for your service' mean to you?" -
11:07 - 11:08Well, "Thank you for your service" means to me,
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11:08 - 11:12it means acknowledging our stories,
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11:12 - 11:15asking us who we are,
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11:15 - 11:18understanding the strength
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11:18 - 11:22that so many people, so many
people who we serve with, have, -
11:22 - 11:26and why that service means so much.
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11:26 - 11:28"Thank you for your service"
means acknowledging the fact -
11:28 - 11:30that just because we've now come home
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11:30 - 11:31and we've taken off the uniform
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11:31 - 11:33does not mean our larger service to this country
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11:33 - 11:36is somehow over.
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11:36 - 11:39The fact is, there's still a tremendous amount
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11:39 - 11:43that can be offered and can be given.
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11:43 - 11:44When I look at people
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11:44 - 11:49like our friend Taylor Urruela,
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11:49 - 11:51who in Iraq loses his leg,
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11:51 - 11:53had two big dreams in his life.
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11:53 - 11:56One was to be a soldier. The other
was to be a baseball player. -
11:56 - 12:01He loses his leg in Iraq.
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12:01 - 12:03He comes back
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12:03 - 12:05and instead of deciding that,
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12:05 - 12:07well, now since I've lost my
leg, that second dream is over, -
12:07 - 12:09he decides that he still has that
dream of playing baseball, -
12:09 - 12:11and he starts this group called VETSports,
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12:11 - 12:13which now works with veterans all over the country
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12:13 - 12:19and uses sports as a way of healing.
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12:19 - 12:21People like Tammy Duckworth,
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12:21 - 12:22who was a helicopter pilot
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12:22 - 12:24and with the helicopter that she was flying,
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12:24 - 12:26you need to use both your hands
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12:26 - 12:27and also your legs to steer,
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12:27 - 12:29and her helicopter gets hit,
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12:29 - 12:30and she's trying to steer the chopper,
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12:30 - 12:32but the chopper's not reacting
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12:32 - 12:34to her instructions and to her commands.
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12:34 - 12:36She's trying to land the chopper safely,
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12:36 - 12:38but the chopper doesn't land safely,
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12:38 - 12:39and the reason it's not landing safely
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12:39 - 12:41is because it's not responding to the
commands that her legs are giving -
12:41 - 12:46because her legs were blown off.
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12:46 - 12:49She barely survives.
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12:49 - 12:53Medics come and they save her life,
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12:53 - 12:56but then as she's doing her
recuperation back at home, -
12:56 - 13:00she realizes that, "My job's still not done."
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13:00 - 13:01And now she uses her voice
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13:01 - 13:04as a Congresswoman from Illinois
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13:04 - 13:07to fight and advocate for a collection of issues
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13:07 - 13:10to include veterans issues.
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13:10 - 13:13We signed up because
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13:13 - 13:18we love this country we represent.
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13:18 - 13:20We signed up because
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13:20 - 13:22we believe in the idea and we believe in the people
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13:22 - 13:25to our left and to our right.
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13:25 - 13:27And the only thing we then ask is that
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13:27 - 13:29"thank you for your service"
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13:29 - 13:33needs to be more than just a quote break,
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13:33 - 13:35that "thank you for your service" means
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13:35 - 13:37honestly digging in
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13:37 - 13:40to the people who have stepped up
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13:40 - 13:44simply because they were asked to,
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13:44 - 13:46and what that means for us not just now,
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13:46 - 13:50not just during combat operations,
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13:50 - 13:53but long after the last vehicle has left
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13:53 - 13:58and after the last shot has been taken.
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13:58 - 14:01These are the people who I served with,
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14:01 - 14:04and these are the people who I honor.
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14:04 - 14:07So thank you for your service.
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14:07 - 14:10(Applause)
- Title:
- How to talk to veterans about the war
- Speaker:
- Wes Moore
- Description:
-
Wes Moore joined the US Army to pay for college, but the experience became core to who he is. In this heartfelt talk, the paratrooper and captain—who went on to write "The Other Wes Moore"—explains the shock of returning home from Afghanistan. He shares the single phrase he heard from civilians on repeat, and shows why it's just not sufficient. It's a call for all of us to ask veterans to tell their stories — and listen.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 14:27
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Morton Bast approved English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Madeleine Aronson accepted English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Madeleine Aronson edited English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war | ||
Madeleine Aronson edited English subtitles for How to talk to veterans about war |