Why I must come out
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0:02 - 0:06The world makes you something that you're not,
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0:06 - 0:09but you know inside what you are,
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0:09 - 0:12and that question burns in your heart:
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0:12 - 0:15How will you become that?
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0:15 - 0:17I may be somewhat unique in this,
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0:17 - 0:19but I am not alone,
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0:19 - 0:22not alone at all.
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0:22 - 0:24So when I became a fashion model,
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0:24 - 0:26I felt that I'd finally achieved the dream
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0:26 - 0:29that I'd always wanted since I was a young child.
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0:29 - 0:34My outside self finally matched my inner truth,
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0:34 - 0:36my inner self.
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0:36 - 0:40For complicated reasons which I'll get to later,
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0:40 - 0:43when I look at this picture,
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0:43 - 0:46at that time I felt like, Geena, you've done it,
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0:46 - 0:47you've made it,
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0:47 - 0:50you have arrived.
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0:50 - 0:52But this past October,
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0:52 - 0:57I realized that I'm only just beginning.
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0:57 - 1:01All of us are put in boxes by our family,
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1:01 - 1:03by our religion,
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1:03 - 1:05by our society,
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1:05 - 1:07our moment in history,
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1:07 - 1:10even our own bodies.
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1:10 - 1:12Some people have the courage to break free,
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1:12 - 1:15not to accept the limitations imposed by
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1:15 - 1:17the color of their skin
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1:17 - 1:20or by the beliefs of those that surround them.
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1:20 - 1:22Those people are always the threat
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1:22 - 1:23to the status quo,
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1:23 - 1:28to what is considered acceptable.
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1:28 - 1:34In my case, for the last nine years,
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1:34 - 1:35some of my neighbors,
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1:35 - 1:38some of my friends, colleagues, even my agent,
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1:38 - 1:41did not know about my history.
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1:41 - 1:45I think, in mystery, this is called the reveal.
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1:45 - 1:48Here is mine.
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1:48 - 1:51I was assigned boy at birth
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1:51 - 1:54based on the appearance of my genitalia.
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1:54 - 1:56I remember when I was five years old
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1:56 - 1:59in the Philippines walking around our house,
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1:59 - 2:02I would always wear this t-shirt on my head.
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2:02 - 2:03And my mom asked me,
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2:03 - 2:06"How come you always wear
that t-shirt on your head?" -
2:06 - 2:11I said, "Mom, this is my hair. I'm a girl."
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2:11 - 2:16I knew then how to self-identify.
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2:16 - 2:20Gender has always been considered a fact,
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2:20 - 2:22immutable,
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2:22 - 2:26but we now know it's actually more fluid,
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2:26 - 2:30complex and mysterious.
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2:30 - 2:32Because of my success, I never had the courage
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2:32 - 2:35to share my story,
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2:35 - 2:38not because I thought what I am is wrong,
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2:38 - 2:41but because of how the world treats those of us
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2:41 - 2:44who wish to break free.
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2:44 - 2:45Every day,
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2:45 - 2:49I am so grateful because I am a woman.
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2:49 - 2:53I have a mom and dad and family
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2:53 - 2:56who accepted me for who I am.
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2:56 - 3:01Many are not so fortunate.
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3:01 - 3:03There's a long tradition in Asian culture
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3:03 - 3:06that celebrates the fluid mystery of gender.
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3:06 - 3:09There is a Buddhist goddess of compassion.
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3:09 - 3:13There is a Hindu goddess, hijra goddess.
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3:13 - 3:16So when I was eight years old,
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3:16 - 3:18I was at a fiesta in the Philippines celebrating
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3:18 - 3:20these mysteries.
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3:20 - 3:23I was in front of the stage,
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3:23 - 3:26and I remember, out comes this beautiful woman
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3:26 - 3:27right in front of me,
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3:27 - 3:29and I remember that moment something hit me:
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3:29 - 3:33That is the kind of woman I would like to be.
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3:33 - 3:36So when I was 15 years old,
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3:36 - 3:37still dressing as a boy,
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3:37 - 3:40I met this woman named T.L.
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3:40 - 3:43She is a transgender beauty pageant manager.
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3:43 - 3:45That night she asked me,
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3:45 - 3:48"How come you are not joining the beauty pageant?"
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3:48 - 3:50She convinced me that if I joined
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3:50 - 3:53that she would take care of the registration fee
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3:53 - 3:55and the garments,
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3:55 - 3:57and that night,
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3:57 - 3:59I won best in swimsuit
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3:59 - 4:01and best in long gown
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4:01 - 4:02and placed second runner up
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4:02 - 4:06among 40-plus candidates.
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4:06 - 4:09That moment changed my life.
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4:09 - 4:10All of a sudden, I was introduced
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4:10 - 4:13to the world of beauty pageants.
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4:13 - 4:16Not a lot of people could say that your first job
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4:16 - 4:18is a pageant queen for transgender women,
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4:18 - 4:21but I'll take it.
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4:21 - 4:23So from 15 to 17 years old, I joined
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4:23 - 4:25the most prestigious pageant
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4:25 - 4:30to the pageant where it's at
the back of the truck, literally, -
4:30 - 4:33or sometimes it would be a
pavement next to a rice field, -
4:33 - 4:35and when it rains --
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4:35 - 4:38it rains a lot in the Philippines --
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4:38 - 4:39the organizers would have to move it
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4:39 - 4:43inside someone's house.
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4:43 - 4:45I also experienced the goodness of strangers,
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4:45 - 4:47especially when we would travel
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4:47 - 4:50in remote provinces in the Philippines.
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4:50 - 4:51But most importantly, I met
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4:51 - 4:55some of my best friends in that community.
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4:55 - 4:57In 2001,
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4:57 - 4:59my mom, who had moved to San Francisco,
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4:59 - 5:03called me and told me that my
green card petition came through, -
5:03 - 5:06that I could now move to the United States.
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5:06 - 5:08I resisted it.
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5:08 - 5:10I told my mom, "Mom, I'm having fun.
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5:10 - 5:11I'm here with my friends,
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5:11 - 5:14I love traveling, being a beauty pageant queen."
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5:14 - 5:17But then two weeks later she called me, she said,
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5:17 - 5:20"Did you know that if you move to the United States
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5:20 - 5:23you could change your name and gender marker?"
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5:23 - 5:26That was all I needed to hear.
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5:26 - 5:28My mom also told me to put two E's
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5:28 - 5:30in the spelling of my name.
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5:30 - 5:32She also came with me when I had my surgery
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5:32 - 5:35in Thailand at 19 years old.
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5:35 - 5:39It's interesting, in some of the
most rural cities in Thailand, -
5:39 - 5:42they perform some of the most prestigious,
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5:42 - 5:46safe and sophisticated surgery.
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5:46 - 5:48At that time in the United States,
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5:48 - 5:50you needed to have surgery
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5:50 - 5:53before you could change your
name and gender marker. -
5:53 - 5:57So in 2001, I moved to San Francisco,
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5:57 - 6:02and I remember looking at
my California driver's license -
6:02 - 6:04with the name Geena
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6:04 - 6:06and gender marker F.
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6:06 - 6:09That was a powerful moment.
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6:09 - 6:10For some people,
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6:10 - 6:12their I.D. is their license to drive
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6:12 - 6:15or even to get a drink,
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6:15 - 6:18but for me, that was my license to live,
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6:18 - 6:21to feel dignified.
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6:21 - 6:24All of a sudden, my fears were minimized.
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6:24 - 6:26I felt that I could conquer my dream
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6:26 - 6:30and move to New York and be a model.
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6:30 - 6:33Many are not so fortunate.
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6:33 - 6:37I think of this woman named Islan Nettles.
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6:37 - 6:39She's from New York, she's a young woman
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6:39 - 6:41who was courageously living her truth,
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6:41 - 6:44but hatred ended her life.
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6:44 - 6:47For most of my community,
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6:47 - 6:50this is the reality in which we live.
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6:50 - 6:52Our suicide rate is nine times higher
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6:52 - 6:55than that of the general population.
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6:55 - 6:57Every November 20,
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6:57 - 6:59we have a global vigil
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6:59 - 7:02for Transgender Day of Remembrance.
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7:02 - 7:03I'm here at this stage
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7:03 - 7:06because it's a long history of people who fought
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7:06 - 7:09and stood up for injustice.
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7:09 - 7:13This is Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera.
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7:15 - 7:17Today, this very moment,
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7:17 - 7:20is my real coming out.
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7:20 - 7:22I could no longer live my truth
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7:22 - 7:25for and by myself.
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7:25 - 7:27I want to do my best to help others
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7:27 - 7:32live their truth without shame and terror.
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7:32 - 7:37I am here, exposed,
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7:37 - 7:39so that one day there will never be a need
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7:39 - 7:43for a November 20 vigil.
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7:43 - 7:49My deepest truth allowed me to accept who I am.
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7:49 - 7:51Will you?
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7:51 - 7:53Thank you very much.
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7:53 - 7:56(Applause)
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7:56 - 8:01Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (Applause)
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8:02 - 8:04Kathryn Schulz: Geena, one quick question for you.
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8:04 - 8:06I'm wondering what you would say,
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8:06 - 8:08especially to parents,
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8:08 - 8:10but in a more broad way, to friends,
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8:10 - 8:13to family, to anyone who finds themselves
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8:13 - 8:15encountering a child or a person
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8:15 - 8:16who is struggling with and uncomfortable with
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8:16 - 8:18a gender that's being assigned them,
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8:18 - 8:20what might you say
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8:20 - 8:22to the family members of that person
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8:22 - 8:25to help them become good and caring and kind
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8:25 - 8:27family members to them?
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8:27 - 8:29Geena Rocero: Sure. Well,
first, really, I'm so blessed. -
8:29 - 8:32The support system, with my mom especially,
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8:32 - 8:33and my family, that in itself
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8:33 - 8:36is just so powerful.
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8:36 - 8:38I remember every time I would coach
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8:38 - 8:40young trans women, I would mentor them,
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8:40 - 8:42and sometimes when they would call me
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8:42 - 8:45and tell me that their parents can't accept it,
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8:45 - 8:47I would pick up that phone call and tell my mom,
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8:47 - 8:48"Mom, can you call this woman?"
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8:48 - 8:52And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, so —
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8:52 - 8:55But it's just, gender identity
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8:55 - 8:58is in the core of our being, right?
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8:58 - 9:01I mean, we're all assigned gender at birth,
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9:01 - 9:03so what I'm trying to do
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9:03 - 9:05is to have this conversation that
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9:05 - 9:09sometimes that gender assignment doesn't match,
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9:09 - 9:11and there should be a space
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9:11 - 9:14that would allow people to self-identify,
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9:14 - 9:15and that's a conversation that we should have
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9:15 - 9:18with parents, with colleagues.
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9:18 - 9:20The transgender movement,
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9:20 - 9:22it's at the very beginning,
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9:22 - 9:25to compare to how the gay movement started.
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9:25 - 9:28There's still a lot of work that needs to be done.
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9:28 - 9:29There should be an understanding.
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9:29 - 9:31There should be a space of curiosity
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9:31 - 9:34and asking questions,
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9:34 - 9:37and I hope all of you guys will be my allies.
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9:37 - 9:39KS: Thank you. That was so lovely.
GR: Thank you. -
9:39 - 9:42(Applause)
- Title:
- Why I must come out
- Speaker:
- Geena Rocero
- Description:
-
When fashion model Geena Rocero first saw a professionally shot photo of herself clad in a bikini, she was beside herself. "I thought...you have arrived!" she says proudly. This might not be the typical experience, but, as Rocero reveals, that’s because she was born with the gender assignment “boy.” In a moving and personal talk, Rocero finds that transgender activism is giving her a whole new sense of pride and purpose.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 09:59
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Madeleine Aronson edited English subtitles for Why I must come out | ||
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