If College Freshmen Were Honest On Move-In Day

Hey do you guys want to come grab food with a big group of people terrified of eating alone.

Hey I'm your room-mate please don't be lame as shit.

We're going to be best friends until we find people we actually have something in common with.

Oh I care way more about getting fucked-up than going to class.

I'm trying really hard to seem cooler than I was in high school, and it's not working.

My side of the room is way cuter than yours.

Our room is going to smell like weed, a lot.

I'm politely offering to switch beds with you altough we both know I'm not gonna do it.

Oh I'll do anything I can to avoid confrontation.
Were going to be spending an unfortunate amount of time together.

Hey our parents already left so were acting like hot shit, come on!

Oh once we start rushing frats I'll definitively stop hanging out with you.

I'm only hanging out with you because you have a fake ID.

This is my first time away from home and I'm actually terrified.

I checked you out on Facebook and your sister is really hot, I will hit on her when she visits.

I'm trying to sleep with every girl I meet this week.

We're gonna hook up once and then we will avoid eye contact for the next four years.

I am never going to clean this comforter, maybe if I puke on it?

But probably still not.

This is my boyfriend we're gonna sexile you all the time!

I'm gonna resent the fuck out of that.

I'll never tell you when something is bothering me, but I will be extremely passive-aggressive about it.

Hooking up with you will be the first mistake I make in college but definitively not the last!

This room is kinda miserable, but I'm 18 and absolutely anything is better than living with my parents.

I'm on scholarship so I'm only paying 20 grand to get fucked up.

Remember what I look like now cause I'm gonna gain 15 pounds.

I'm gonna bring back a ton of frat boys and I don't really care if you're in here.

I'll pretend to be sleeping and hate every second of it.

Also I'm a huge "NSYNC" fan "No Strings Attached" changed my life.

Ah hey I'm going to pursue you, sexually.