WEBVTT

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Hey do you guys want to come grab food with a big group of people terrified of eating alone.

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Hey I'm your room-mate please don't be lame as shit.

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We're going to be best friends until we find people we actually have something in common with.

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Oh I care way more about getting fucked-up than going to class.

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I'm trying really hard to seem cooler than I was in high school, and it's not working.

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My side of the room is way cuter than yours.

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Our room is going to smell like weed, a lot.

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I'm politely offering to switch beds with you altough we both know I'm not gonna do it.

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Oh I'll do anything I can to avoid confrontation.
Were going to be spending an unfortunate amount of time together.

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Hey our parents already left so were acting like hot shit, come on!

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Oh once we start rushing frats I'll definitively stop hanging out with you.

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I'm only hanging out with you because you have a fake ID.

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This is my first time away from home and I'm actually terrified.

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I checked you out on Facebook and your sister is really hot, I will hit on her when she visits.

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I'm trying to sleep with every girl I meet this week.

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We're gonna hook up once and then we will avoid eye contact for the next four years.

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I am never going to clean this comforter, maybe if I puke on it?

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But probably still not.

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This is my boyfriend we're gonna sexile you all the time!

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I'm gonna resent the fuck out of that.

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I'll never tell you when something is bothering me, but I will be extremely passive-aggressive about it.

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Hooking up with you will be the first mistake I make in college but definitively not the last!

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This room is kinda miserable, but I'm 18 and absolutely anything is better than living with my parents.

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I'm on scholarship so I'm only paying 20 grand to get fucked up.

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Remember what I look like now cause I'm gonna gain 15 pounds.

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I'm gonna bring back a ton of frat boys and I don't really care if you're in here.

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I'll pretend to be sleeping and hate every second of it.

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Also I'm a huge "NSYNC" fan "No Strings Attached" changed my life.

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Ah hey I'm going to pursue you, sexually.