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Oh great...I'm late for p.e. class

Well so am I! Least I'm not the one who dropped every single page out of their report folder.

Maybe I dropped it because you rush me around like a junior drill seargent!

Well, well....look who's late to their gym classes.

Oh please Dongle...what earthshaking excitement did I miss? Jumping jacks???

Actually Coach Moot just gave a lesson in the fundamentals of wrestling.

Shame you missed it because he just agreed to let me wrestle one of you. (Evil laugh)

Ha! Like we need a lesson to beat you at anything Dongle.

Hmmm....interesting attitude since I've been wrestling competitively since I was six!

If Dongle beats us we won't survive the humiliation. You have to win!

Me? You're the big bad boss woman...you wrestle!

Oh sure, stick me with the dirty work again you bumble biscuit!

Woah! That's a lot of hostility for best friends!

The ancient Greek were big wrestlers. Maybe they could help you with your little challenge.

You think the Greeks could give us a lesson in wrestling?

Among other things...

What does he mean by that?

How should I know?

I don't know. How should I know how you should know?

Oh boy....(Ahhhhhhhhh!)

Where are we?

More to the point....WHEN are we?

About 2500 years ago...403 B.C.E. and you might recognize the location.`

Ow! My elbow! Can't we get a time machine to ride in or something?

Ohhhhh....Stitch.......

Come on now, can't I feel sorry for myself here? (Gasp!)

It's so beautiful...it's...it's...

It's Athens where the Greeks created studies in art, the sciences, philosophy, and drama that we still use today.

Behold Athens....the cradle of western civilization!

Man that's a seriously large cradle. How are we going to find a wrestling teacher in all of that?

You might try the agora. Head west into the city and inquire at the public baths.

Thanks very much!

Oh it's my pleasure. (Yelling!) Now get your scrawny civilian pails out of the road!!!!

Geez....somebody's a grumpy bear.

Sure war will do that to you. The Greek city states were fiercely independent and had trouble getting along.

Sound familiar?

Yeah....didn't think so.

Man this agora joint is more crowded than the mall during a moonlight madness sale!

The agora was THE Athenian hot spot.

You could buy, sell, have a business meeting, or just chat with friends.

Excuse me...got any good wrestling teachers around here?

(Translating) All wrestlers in Athens have left for the Olympics...stop

Except a champion named Themanthes who is somewhere in the agora. Thanks!

I've got an ear for languages....okay?

(Men talking) Maybe one of these wind bags has seen this Themanthes fellow.

Sir we're looking for a wrestler....

Wrestling? Why grapple with your fellow man when the mysteries of life still escape our clutches?

Uh...yeah....

Look! Do you know a guy named Themanthes or don't you?

I have met him but I can know nothing more than the reflection of his existence.

Okay.....Haven't the Greeks ever heard of a straight answer?

Not here...Athens was the birthplace of philosophy,

a remarkable culture that came about largely due to a great thinker named Socrates.

Ahhhh!

Socrates was an old soldier and stone cutter.

He was not a handsome man, nor well groomed...

but his brilliant mind won him respect from those who understood him.

He questioned everything from government to religion.

He believed in searching for truth no matter where it may lead you.

Unfortunately, Socrates search led him down a dark road.

The government said that he corrupted young people by teaching them to question authority.

So a jury found Socrates guilty and he was executed.

Others followed in Socrates footsteps. In the quest for wisdom Greek philosophers questioned everything

but didn't have always have the answers, but he proved that the power of one person's mind can change the world.

He was Socrates....Father of Philosophy!!!

Wow! Socrates rocks!

Too bad he can't help us find Themathes!

He's at the Assembly.

Excuse me?

Themathes, the wrestler, he spoke of attending the Assembly today.

Oh...do you know him?

Yes, nice fellow.....a bit overly competitive. I saw him earlier grieving about not making the Olympic team.

I'm Lenartes...humble philosopher. I'm headed that way.

Perhaps we could have an exchange of ideas and concepts while we search for him.

Here's a concept for you...how about stopping at a gyro stand? Owww!

There's only one way to defeat the savage Spartan army.

We use our stores of barley to lure a giant weasel, possibly two giant weasels to go and eat them.

Themathes is not here. Perhaps he has left the Assembly.

(In the background..."If that doesn't work, I suggest we bombard them with barrels of drool!")

This man is a genius!

What is all this blah, blah, blah?

The Assembly...a place where everyone is permitted to vote, and speak on the issues,

except women...women can't vote. And foreigners, and slaves, and anyone under 30, and then there's......

Okay, okay I get it....government for the people, by a couple of people!

It's pretty cool though--no kings or dictators. I mean it's democracy!

Well..it had a long way to go before things were truly democratic, but it was a start.

In about 594 B.C.E. a conflict between the rich aristocrats who ruled Athens,

and the rest of the population was building towards civil war.

But a middle aged poet and merchant named Solan came to the rescue.

The Athenian government gave the fair-minded Solan full power to reform the laws.....

to bring peace to Athens.

Solon created "democracy".

Wow! So that's how democracy got started. Any citizen can speak?

As long as it's an issue of vital importance to the city-state.

Hey everybody how's it going? Uh....has anyone seen Thamethes?

The wrestler? Burly guy who didn't make the Olympics?Anybody?

No? Oh well...as long as I'm up here, uh...what did the gorilla say to the orangutan?

I'm sorry we couldn't find Themathes.

Hey...it wouldn't have been so bad if SOMEONE hadn't gotten us thrown out of the Assembly!

It's not my fault they don't know comedy "gold" when they hear it!

(Sniffing the air) What an odd odor!

Mmmmmm.....I'd know that smell in any century. BARBECUE!!!! Follow me!

Yummy! Who's cooking out guys?

The wrestler Themathes!

Hey...we found him. Me and this guy are going to get along great.

A little barbecue, a little wrestling lesson.

Ahhh...don't get your hopes up. Themathes story showed the importance the Greeks put on athletics.

When the famous wrestler lost his strength and could no longer be number one,

he decided to end it all.

A shame...really, he was a rare breed!

I'd say "medium rare" about now! And we're still without a wrestling coach.

We could try to find another teacher in Athens.

We could be attacked by Spartans!

(Laughing) Right....like that's a choice!

Actually I'm afraid we don't have a choice! (Army soldiers roaring and shouting!)

(Roaring and shouting continues) This is definitely going to delay our wrestling lesson, isn't it?

Yes, it's the second Spartan invasion this week. Run my friends....

for he who runs away can always philosophize another day!

(More shouting and sounds of fighting)

I don't get it...aren't the Athenians and Spartans all the same people?

Yes....all Greeks, but don't expect to see a lot of brotherly love!

Greece never developed into one united country, but grew into city-states.

The most powerful being Athens and Sparta.

They started out as friendly neighbors and even worked together to defend against Persian invaders.

But then Sparta and Athens started arguing over who was going to be top dog in Greece.

It got ugly!

Sparta had fertile fields and a large population to create the most powerful land army in the world.

While Athens had excellent engineers and organizational ability

to build the biggest and most powerful fleet of warships on the sea.

If only they had joined forces, Greece could have been a remarkable enduring power.

But instead, the city-states kept fighting and were weakened by a war that lasted over three decades.

Well until these cranky pants get together, I'd rather not be in the middle of it.

We've got to get out of here!

I've got a plan to get us to safety in no time.

And who's to say I don't have a good plan?

Geez...not now!

If not now, when?

Tell me....is Athens your city-state?

Uh.....not exactly....actualy we were just looking for a good wrestling match.

Wrestling???? Athenians are too weak to wrestle!

We Spartans are the strongest of all Greeks. We just whipped Athens in the Peloponesian War!

Just ask Lucidides!

Who?

Lucidides...he's a Greek historian who wrote the first official history of the wars between Athens and Sparta.

Only Athenians would be smart enough to know that.

Geez...these guys don't cut Athenians any slack, do they?

Well yes, Spartans were certainly dedicated in their struggle against Athens.

They always swore to be victorious or dead. A Spartan used his shield in battle.

If he won, he would return victorious with his shield.

But if he lost, he would be carried off the field of battle on top of his shield, like a stretcher.

You are young enemies of Sparta. Shall we kill them?

Nah...we won the battle. Let's do what we usually do to all inferiors.

Yes please......

We'll take you as our slaves!

This is all your fault you know....

You started it you know....

Well, this has really put the conflict betwene Greek city-states into focus, hasn't it?

Yeah, yeah... in focus.

You know, maybe if you'd trust me a little more...

Trust you? Ha! That's a laugh.

Here's Athens and Sparta, two organized city-states with common enemies,

no territorial disputes, and a great future ahead, but they were rivals who never trusted each other.

Yeah right....whatever....

How am I supposed to trust you when...

Come on, give me a chance!

What I'm saying is that it's amazing to think of how much more Greece could have achieved

if Sparta and Athens would have stopped arguing and worked together.

Listen...do you mind....

Yeah.... please???

Have it your way!

As I was saying...if you would visit reality now and then....

Please give me a break. See now look what you've done!

Your constant harping caused a solar eclipse!

Mmmmm...Melos like Athenians! Melos eat!....

Spartans---not a delicate bunch.

You got that right. Spartans were mean, nasty, and as they say, it's all in how you raise them.

When a Spartan baby was born, if it seemed strong they would raise it.

But if not, the baby would be placed in a jar on the mountainside and left to starve or be eaten by wolves.

If a boy survived childhood, he still wasn't off the hook.

At 7 years old, he was sent off to join herds of boys in military camps.

They shaved their heads, were only allowed to bathe a few times a year,

and were frequently beaten.

The Spartans were dedicated to making a nation of strong soldiers, even if it killed them...literally.

Geez, what do these Spartans do for fun? Pull out their toenails?

No....pull out other people toenails!

Stop Melos! We need them!

For what? Friendship, moral support?

(Laughing) You Athenians are supposed to be so brainy, but you don't get it!

Get used to the new jewelry. You're going to be Spartan slaves for the rest of your lives!

Somehow, the humor of that escapes me.

I never realized this slavery 'biz' had a glamorous side.

Will you concentrate? You missed a big hunk of toe jam!

You two do a good job! Melos needs clean feet for the games!

Games? They're headed for the Olympics!

Excellent! We'll get our wrestling lessons after all!

All wars stop for the Olympics and this year, we've got a great discus man...right Melos?

Melos like discus....eat discus!

Well if sports doesn't work out, he's got a future in public speaking!

Oh you Athenians think you're so smart. Well you're not!

Your general, Alsibides, said that Spartans were too dumb to even navigate a ship and now look at us.

We've got the biggest fleet anywhere!

(As ship sinks) All right....we're walking!

Hey Delphi fans...I can see the future...you're going to lose! Thebes rules!

Oh go shut your seven gates. Delphi all the way baby!

Thank Zeus! We made it just in time!

You know, aside from the sun burn, foot blisters and probable spinal injury, that was a fun little trip.

Hey remember, Talos said if we made it we get a full body massage.

That was you GIVE a full body massage...to Melos! He always gets one before he competes.

Oh hey! They're starting the first race!

Hey Mo! All enslavement aside, we're about to watch the original Greek Olympic games!

Yeah! This is a great moment. Don't ruin it!

Uh....those guys are naked!

Ha! I couldn't wait to see the look on your faces!

Moments like that make it all worthwhile.

Back then the Olympics were plenty different.

The only thing athletes wore was layer of olive oil and some of the events were rather odd.

Mule racing, a four horse chariot race, and a relay race in which runners carried a flaming baton.

The winners won glory for their city and were celebrated throughout Greece.

Sure the Olympics were different back then, but one thing will never change.

Everyone wants to win!

Speaking of winning, we've still got Dongle to worry about. Do you see any wrestling?

What are you blind? Look right over there.

They're jumping on each other just like on the wrestling mat.

But that's all fake. This is all...youch....real!

Yeah and all that biting and gouging out of eyes....

Well yes, and strangling is permitted as well, also arm twisting.

Oh and I almost forgot....kicking, along with the ever popular jumping up and down on your opponent.

Slaves! You are here to do our every bidding. Not to enjoy the games!

(At same time) His fault! Her fault!

Come Melos!

All right. Let's go win this. Well the sissy Athenians came out to play!

We'll see if you've got the game to back up that arrogant attitude.

Oh we're ready....specially since we've got a couple souvenirs from Athens to help our star athlete prepare!

Slaves! (Gasp!) They've escaped! Find them!

Mo, wrestling lessons or no, we've got to go back to our time.

Are you crazy? Being a foot scrubbing slave is a walk in the park

compared to the humiliation of being outwrestled by Darin Dongle!

Who is that?

I don't know, but the little one's scrappy. He's gotta be from Delphi!

Bossy harpy from beyond!

Lazy dough-witted goof nugget!

You wish! That's a Thebian if ever I seen one.

Says you twerp!

There they are....out on the field!

Say, "uncle"! Say, "uncle"!

(Screaming)

Hey you screwed up my throw you dumb Macedonian ape!

Get bent Corinthian!

Wow! Look at all those Grecians scrapping like junk yard dogs.

And they're supposed to be neighbors!

They're supposed to be friends!

I guess part of being friends is working things out peacefully.

The Greek city-states never learned that. They kept conquering each other

and weakening each other's armies, until Alexander the Great was able to come in and conquer them all!

And the moral of our little story????

United we stand....divided we fail!

And that's two at the buzzer. Ready to go home?

All right you two, time to match mat!

No we didn't learn how to wrestle!

But we did learn that our best bet is to work together.

You're going to have to take us both on!

We have to wrestle the way the Greeks did---completely naked!

What are you doing?

I have some olive oil in my locker!

Olive.....oil????

So we can cover ourselves with it...gotta do it right, don't we?

And hey..we need an audience. Let's get the whole class over here.

Ah...never mind. I...I...I can't wrestle!

I've sprained my esophagus. Oh yes, it's quite painful.

I should see Ms. Remson. Good bye!

Glad to have that problem solved.

What about our problem getting along?

Let's say..it's a thing of the past!

Pals? Pals!