Teaching towards equality | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres
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0:11 - 0:16[This talk contains strong language]
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0:16 - 0:18I need allies, I need a lot of them
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0:18 - 0:22because we are going to
destabilize the system. Enough! -
0:22 - 0:24(Applause)
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0:24 - 0:26It is easier than you think.
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0:26 - 0:30We don't need to wear hoods,
ski masks, Molotov bombs, -
0:31 - 0:37or throw stones to anyone.
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0:37 - 0:41It is much more simple,
but it requires a lot of willpower. -
0:41 - 0:45First, I want to ask you
for a show of hands. -
0:46 - 0:49Almost all the speakers today
talked about gender. -
0:49 - 0:52Could anyone calmly come here upfront
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0:52 - 0:54and explain what gender is?
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0:54 - 0:57Raise your hand if you are
absolutely sure about it. -
0:57 - 1:00One person and she just went to
a talk this morning. -
1:00 - 1:02(Laughter)
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1:02 - 1:04OK, gender, usually one thinks
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1:04 - 1:09What type of gender? As in grammar?
Nouns, pronouns? -
1:09 - 1:13By the way, I think the best answer
-
1:13 - 1:16came from a kid interviewed
by Dialogos [TV show], -
1:16 - 1:20"Gender is girls in pink
and boys in blue." -
1:20 - 1:21(Laughter)
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1:21 - 1:23That's gender.
It is a way to see gender. -
1:23 - 1:26In other words, it is
the manual you receive -
1:26 - 1:29when your baby is born at the hospital,
-
1:29 - 1:32and it says, "This is the way your
boy or girl has to behave -
1:32 - 1:35according to their genitals."
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1:36 - 1:39That's where things go wrong.
Why? -
1:39 - 1:43Because then the girl cannot yell,
but she can cry. -
1:43 - 1:46And the boy cannot cry,
but he can yell. -
1:46 - 1:49These are the feelings taught to men
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1:49 - 1:51that they have to deal with
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1:51 - 1:53for the rest of their lives.
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1:53 - 1:56Things get complicated
because things start. -
1:57 - 2:01This chauvinism, let's face it,
hurts everyone. -
2:02 - 2:06Imagine your male friends were told to
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2:06 - 2:09grunt in any situation.
-
2:11 - 2:16"How was work?" (Grunt)
"What did your boss say?" (Grunt) -
2:16 - 2:19There is no middle ground.
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2:19 - 2:23We women have an incredible
array of ways to cry. -
2:23 - 2:25Right? We cannot express ourselves.
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2:25 - 2:29This is what messes up the world.
It makes men -
2:29 - 2:31emotionally stunted.
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2:31 - 2:36Domestically unfit, they don't even
know how to prepare steak. -
2:36 - 2:39They know how when they are
alone in the bathroom. -
2:39 - 2:41(Laughter)
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2:41 - 2:42Tragic!
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2:42 - 2:48It also deprives them of
the joys of fatherhood -
2:48 - 2:51that some are now discovering
and it is beautiful to see. -
2:51 - 2:55It forces them, as if by divine order,
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2:55 - 2:57to always have all the answers.
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2:57 - 3:02That's why they are frightened by crying
because they don't know what to do. -
3:02 - 3:06The manual said he knew everything.
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3:06 - 3:09This is a disaster.
Another one is that -
3:09 - 3:13he always has to be ready for sex,
wanting and able. -
3:13 - 3:15(Laughter)
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3:15 - 3:16And if they don't,
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3:16 - 3:17(Laughter)
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3:17 - 3:19it is as if they are no longer men.
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3:20 - 3:23If they don't bring money home,
they cannot even perform -
3:23 - 3:29because the manual says that
they have to bring money home -
3:29 - 3:31so then all the women will be theirs.
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3:31 - 3:36Where else do we find this?
In textbooks. -
3:37 - 3:42Don't think that the feminism that
our speaker -
3:42 - 3:46so beautifully talked about is Lupita
D'Alessio or Paquita la del Barrio. -
3:46 - 3:47(Laughter)
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3:47 - 3:50Feminism is more of
a political movement. -
3:50 - 3:53It is a way to look at the world
and it has many faces. -
3:54 - 3:57The ones who fight for equality
and gender -- I don't have enough -
3:57 - 4:00merits to say that I am a feminist.
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4:00 - 4:03One starts to think about this manual.
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4:03 - 4:07What in the world is to be a woman?
Is it to be empathetic, sensitive? -
4:08 - 4:11Someone who can be
in customer service and is gorgeous? -
4:11 - 4:13OK, and what is a man?
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4:14 - 4:16Anything that is not feminine.
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4:16 - 4:17(Laughter)
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4:17 - 4:21But why?
We have the same genes! -
4:21 - 4:25So we agree.
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4:25 - 4:27This is not feminism;
this is not gender equality. -
4:27 - 4:33Women are told," There's chauvinism
because you create it." -
4:33 - 4:37I am sorry but that is not something
that you feed! OK? -
4:37 - 4:40The problem is that chauvinism
comes from textbooks, -
4:40 - 4:46commercial ads, the nanny and even
the absence of a father creates it. -
4:46 - 4:51That is the problem!
-
4:51 - 4:55They think that we gave birth and said,
" You will be a macho man". No. -
4:55 - 4:58However, we also talk
in a very chauvinistic way. -
4:58 - 5:00Our language is sexist,
-
5:00 - 5:03Do you think we were raised in Mars
or what? -
5:03 - 5:07They say we are from Venus, no kiddidng.
We are the same as you, -
5:07 - 5:11and that's why we cannot free
ourselves from it. For example, -
5:11 - 5:16a woman in the office got promoted:
"She must be sleeping with the boss." -
5:16 - 5:17(Laughter)
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5:17 - 5:20Excuse me, but that is sexist!
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5:21 - 5:25Boy! Ms. Universe is so ugly this year."
Please! -
5:25 - 5:27That is male chauvinism.
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5:27 - 5:30Now, even when we attack a man
to make him feel inferior, -
5:30 - 5:33to hit him where it will
make him doubt -
5:33 - 5:35because he has to show
that he is a man. -
5:35 - 5:38It's all about the penis.
-
5:38 - 5:41That's why we say that
this society is phallocentric. -
5:41 - 5:45We say, "He is not a real man,"
"This one doesn't perform" -
5:45 - 5:46That is chauvinism.
-
5:48 - 5:51We are not talking about
castrating men. -
5:52 - 5:54We already are.
The thing is to try to stop doing it. -
5:54 - 5:55(Laughter)
-
5:55 - 6:00How do we realize
what we have been doing? -
6:00 - 6:02I invite to take the Morpheus blue pill,
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6:02 - 6:06so we can finally find the Matrix.
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6:06 - 6:07I didn't go to the university.
-
6:07 - 6:09Dialogos en Confianza
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6:09 - 6:12was the university I didn't have,
and as I met people -
6:12 - 6:15like the wonderful people
who have spoken today, -
6:15 - 6:19one day I opened my eyes to gender
and it felt like discovering me -
6:19 - 6:24publicly naked -it's not modesty,
it's not a pretty picture. -
6:26 - 6:27It is when you hear things from
-
6:27 - 6:29a pregnant woman who says
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6:29 - 6:33"I will "have relief" May."
Are you sick or what? -
6:34 - 6:35"My husband doesn't use me anymore."
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6:36 - 6:37(Laughter)
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6:38 - 6:41Really? These are everyday
statements in many places. -
6:41 - 6:44This another beauty: "My husband
does help me at home." -
6:44 - 6:47No, what do you mean helps you.
it's his turn! -
6:47 - 6:48(Laughter)
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6:48 - 6:50If you sleep on a bed
you need to help make it. -
6:50 - 6:52"He let me work."
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6:52 - 6:55That one is a beauty. It is still in use.
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6:56 - 6:58I wish my husband wouldn't let me!
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6:58 - 6:59(Laughter)
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7:00 - 7:01There's no way.
-
7:01 - 7:02(Applause)
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7:05 - 7:06Now you will see.
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7:08 - 7:12"My husband cheated on me but the guilty
is that bitch who tricked him." -
7:13 - 7:16Not him. He was just sitting there.
Please! -
7:17 - 7:21Another one: "He raped her, but she
provoked him wearing that mini skirt." -
7:22 - 7:23Don't be stupid!
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7:23 - 7:25That is sexism.
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7:25 - 7:26When Calimba,
do you remember him? -
7:27 - 7:28"Hey, she is underage!"
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7:28 - 7:30"Yes, but she is the one
who got in bed with him" -
7:30 - 7:32"Yes, but she is a minor."
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7:32 - 7:35In this case consent is worthless.
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7:36 - 7:39It is not that I'm coming for revenge
and I'm going to go out and drink, -
7:40 - 7:45to find all men: " Ladies hold on
to your men because here I come." -
7:45 - 7:46(Laughter)
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7:46 - 7:48Double chicken breast!
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7:48 - 7:50(Laughter)
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7:50 - 7:51It is not about that.
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7:51 - 7:53It's not reverse chauvinism.
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7:54 - 7:57However, we have stay at home dads,
like my husband. -
7:57 - 8:00But there's a huge tragedy.
It wasn't his choice. -
8:01 - 8:02He didn't want to be one,
-
8:02 - 8:05like the many women
who are staying at home. -
8:05 - 8:10He had to because he lost his job,
and I found another one. -
8:11 - 8:15What did he do? Whatever was
necessary to do at home. Right? -
8:15 - 8:19So now he can talk about
the novela with Dona Elvira -
8:19 - 8:20(Laughter)
-
8:20 - 8:21our housemaid.
-
8:22 - 8:26They help each other.
He is a bit of a chef; he cooks for her, -
8:26 - 8:30but this messed him up because
his career got derailed. -
8:30 - 8:35Also, he doesn't feel productive
and the manual still affects him. -
8:36 - 8:40because it says that if he doesn't bring
money he is not a man. -
8:40 - 8:43I bring the money. What do I do?
I demand sex! -
8:44 - 8:44(Laughter)
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8:45 - 8:48And he has a headache!
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8:48 - 8:50(Applause)
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8:51 - 8:52It's terrible!
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8:53 - 8:56There's no equality!
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8:56 - 9:00The roles have been reversed,
and it just doesn't work. -
9:01 - 9:03It doesn't work. I swear.
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9:03 - 9:07Imagine now, this is funny,
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9:08 - 9:10that you are at a restaurant,
eleven young -
9:10 - 9:14women being loud, laughing;
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9:14 - 9:16then comes a man who says,
"Why so lonely?" -
9:16 - 9:19Things like that that
maybe good for a laugh, -
9:20 - 9:24but mean hurtful
and uncomfortable things. -
9:24 - 9:27At the university there have been studies
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9:27 - 9:32among men and women in which
7 out of 10 -
9:32 - 9:36have experienced gender violence,
men and women. -
9:37 - 9:38Also, women were asked,
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9:38 - 9:41"Have you encounter gender violence?"
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9:41 - 9:44They respond, "Yes."
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9:45 - 9:46What we were saying about
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9:46 - 9:48our housemaid, for example.
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9:48 - 9:54We don't show solidarity with her.
We women are merciless. -
9:54 - 9:58Like they say, housework is only noticed
when it is done badly. -
9:58 - 9:59No one came and said,
-
9:59 - 10:02"Honey, your sweeping is wonderful!"
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10:02 - 10:05Of course not.
"Honey, you didn't vacuum here!" -
10:05 - 10:07That is a problem.
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10:07 - 10:11Here the problem is very serious
where they are really merciless -
10:11 - 10:16with students of both sexes.
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10:18 - 10:24It comes in levels and
the face of poverty is feminine -
10:24 - 10:28Poverty mainly affects women worldwide.
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10:28 - 10:31We are producing
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10:31 - 10:35about three quarters of the
of the world's wealth -
10:36 - 10:38starting with the work we do at home.
-
10:38 - 10:41Because thanks to someone
who works at home -
10:41 - 10:44helped the man
to get ready for work, -
10:44 - 10:47he goes and produces for a company
that supports the system. -
10:47 - 10:51Lately, it has started to being
considered as part of the GDP. -
10:51 - 10:58Ok, but the problem is that of all
the wealth that women produce, -
10:58 - 11:04they earn not even 10 percent,
and if we include Queen Elizabeth, -
11:04 - 11:07Madonna and Angelina Jollie, forget it!
-
11:07 - 11:08I believe that that is the only
thing that will destabilize -
11:08 - 11:11this situation.
-
11:11 - 11:16We need to understand that what they
sell to us doesn't make us who we are -
11:16 - 11:19and they will not solve
our problems. -
11:20 - 11:24That's why I invite you to put it
in practice. -
11:24 - 11:26How do we do it?
-
11:26 - 11:28There's something I have asked
for a very long time, -
11:28 - 11:30but it was nothing but a crazy idea.
-
11:30 - 11:37I need allies. I already have
my TEDx friends -
11:37 - 11:41because they got me and
told me it was possible -
11:41 - 11:46We will present to the
Commission of Gender. -
11:46 - 11:51You are invited. We will ask
that the house creates of a law -
11:52 - 11:57that makes it compulsory to teach
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11:57 - 12:00about gender equality from
pre-K on. -
12:01 - 12:02It must be compulsory.
-
12:02 - 12:04(Applause)
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12:06 - 12:11It must ask to review very chart,
and spelling in textbooks. -
12:12 - 12:14We need to demand it;
we need to make them do it. -
12:15 - 12:18We need to see the world
through gender goggles. -
12:18 - 12:19it's a Band-Aid, but the new generation
-
12:19 - 12:21can live its results.
-
12:21 - 12:23How are not going to contaminate them?
-
12:23 - 12:27Forcing each public employee
and bureaucrat, -
12:27 - 12:31or anyone who renders a public service
to take classes about gender. -
12:32 - 12:37Just as they do to become
professional bureaucrats, -
12:38 - 12:42they must take the class. Never
again say to a public employee: -
12:42 - 12:45"My husband hit me." Only to hear,
"Why did you get married?" -
12:45 - 12:47This is going to be obligatory.
-
12:47 - 12:50Distribute and provide easy access
to the manual, -
12:50 - 12:52and in any language people
speak. -
12:53 - 12:55Give it when people get married,
when the baby is born. -
12:55 - 12:58Instead of reading the epistle
of Melchor Ocampo, -
12:59 - 13:02give them instead this manual
of gender equality. -
13:02 - 13:05It is possible that it will offend
many abuses and traditions. -
13:05 - 13:08There are many habits and
traditions we need to keep -
13:08 - 13:10and bathe in them like
community service, -
13:10 - 13:12but there are abuses and customs.
-
13:12 - 13:14A girl cannot be sold even
if it looks like a gift. -
13:15 - 13:19This should be said in all languages.
-
13:19 - 13:20I think we can do it.
-
13:20 - 13:25Because we are the minority
that is 52 percent of our nation. -
13:25 - 13:28At least women and
many men of conscience. -
13:28 - 13:31So you are invited,
get into TEDx network. -
13:31 - 13:34Let's move it. Let's try.
-
13:34 - 13:38I think it is the only way to
build citizenship; -
13:38 - 13:41not only retweet, which works,
-
13:41 - 13:46but, to use a phrase that
a dear friend told me, -
13:46 - 13:49"To go from indignation
to indign-action." -
13:49 - 13:51You are welcome to come.
Thank you. -
13:51 - 13:53(Applause)
- Title:
- Teaching towards equality | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres
- Description:
-
How are we educated and how do we educate? How do we fight against the chauvinism that is such an intrinsic part of today’s Mexico? Fernanda suggests dismantling the way things are: a peaceful change but also a profound one.
Fernanda is a celebrity; she has worked as an announcer, a journalist, a voice-over actress, an actress, a screenwriter, a singer…
She is committed to women’s issues. She fights wherever she is.This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- Spanish
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 14:06
Sebastian Betti approved English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Sebastian Betti edited English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Sebastian Betti accepted English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Sebastian Betti edited English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Sebastian Betti edited English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Angelica Teal edited English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Angelica Teal edited English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres | ||
Angelica Teal edited English subtitles for Educar para la equidad | Fernanda Tapia | TEDxCuauhtémocMujeres |