Crossing borders: Christopher Howe at TEDxBeloHorizonte

The name "peregrino" in Latin means the one who crosses borders. Christopher Howe left the comfort and security of his Los Angeles life behind to make a pilgrimage on foot to the Amazon. Along the way he discovered that everything in life is within walking distance.

(Portuguese): The enchanting and
hospitable capital of Minas Gerais.

Hello.

So, the first thing that
I wanted to say is

as I am speaking about my story

you really want to be listening

not for the story of Christopher Howe.

Because my story isn't unique to me.

It's the story of many people,

the people that I've encountered
along my travels, along my journeys

but it's a universal story.

It' s a story about all of us.

It' s a story about what's possible

for all of us when we're willing
to take a great risk,

when we're willing to step outside
of our comfort zone,

outside of what we already know

into what is unknown, into a place
that might not be safe

for the benefit of other people.

So this is the story of my life
for the past few years.

I'll begin because like
somebody said earlier

these stories of our lives don't really
have a beginning or an end

but we need some place to start.

So, I'll start when I was living
in Germany back in 2004

and I had a great life, I was
a high school teacher, in Germany,

and at the same time
there were certain things

going on in my life that were not so good.

I was in the middle of a divorce,

I had two children that I loved dearly.

But I was in a depressed place.

And I had recently graduated
from university,

I have a degree in History

and another degree in Biology.

And I was depressed in a way because

during school I realized
that things like the Bible

and the sacred texts were written by man

and I thought that somehow God
wasn't involved in the process.

And I became disillusioned with religion

with spirituality for a few years.

Until I found it again when
I was living in Germany,

a friend introduced me to
a book by Paulo Coelho,

who many of you know,
who wrote the book "The Alchemist".

And this book reminded me
of something inside of myself,

something that I had forgotten,

something that was part of who I am,

about being on the spiritual path.

So, I remembered my deep love

when I was in college
for the country of Ethiopia.

And how much I wanted to go there

since I was seventeen years old.

And after reading the "The Alchemist",

I decided to buy a plane ticket to Ethiopia.

Although it's too expensive.

I didn't have enough money to get there
so I flew instead to Kenya.

And on my way to Ethiopia
through Kenya,

I met two film producers
on a very remote island

near the coast of Somalia.

And these film producers,

they're special film producers indeed,

they produced the movies
"American Psycho" and "Virgin Suicides",

I don't know if you guys have seen
these movies here.

But they took me into their house.

And I started working for them
as a writer

developing the script for
a Paulo Coelho adaptation

called "Veronica Decides to Die".

So it's very interesting, one of the first
lessons that I've learned

was when we take these
great leaps of faith

to go on our journeys to go
towards our destiny,

how all the right people arrive
just at the right times

when we need them.

So I met these people
right in this moment

and I lived with them for about
two months in Africa

and they went back
to Los Angeles

and I continued on my way
to Ethiopia where I didn't

necessarily find what it was
that I was looking for.

I've gone into this great journey
to this other country

to go some place else,
and I didn't find it.

I'm not quite sure what it was
that I was looking for in that moment

but it wasn't there.

So I ended up back in Germany

and my friends from Kenya,
the film producers,

called me and asked me to come

finishing developing
the script for them

in Los Angeles,
"Veronica Decides to Die".

So I flew out to Los Angeles
and we finished the script

they went back to Africa and I stayed
for four months

in a beautiful home,
right on the Venice Beach,

in a house designed by Frank Gehry,
it was beautiful.

They came back and their manager quit,

and I stepped right into his position

and I started managing film companies,

something that I'd never done before,
I had no idea how to do.

And I've much respect
for all the people producing

this event because I know
what goes into it.

They put me into a very nice house
in the Los Angeles hills

and where I lived for the next year.

My children came to live with me as well

and at some point during that time

I had my children go back
to live with their mom.

They were very young and I thought
they needed to be with her.

So they went to live with their mother

and about a month later I was in the
mountains above Los Angeles

when a very strange thing happened.

I was in the middle of a ceremony,
and as part of the ceremony

there's a point for meditation.

It was very zen like in this
meditation where

you clear the mind of all your thoughts.

And the best way to do that

is by just allowing whatever
is there to be.

And not to add meaning
to the thoughts that come

into your mind, alright?

To get to this place of silence

and of simple being and presence.

And as I was there inside of the ceremony,

in the middle of this meditation,

I went into a visionary state.

This might sound crazy,
it sounds crazy to me.

But the case was I went into
this visionary state

where I saw myself walking
from Los Angeles,

first through the deserts
of Northern Mexico,

just walking by myself.

Simply with time alone
and with time with God.

In the next scene I saw
myself walking through

the mountains of the
Sierra Madre in Mexico,

being helped by people along the way.

And I realized as I was walking that I was

in the middle of this vision
and that I shouldn't

be having it, that I should
somehow stop it,

it was crazy, it was nuts
there was no way

I was going to be walking through Mexico.

So I stopped it and I returned
back to the place

where I was and I went back
into my meditation

and as soon as I did that
I was transported

back into this vision where again
I was walking

through the mountains of Mexico,

through Guatemala,
through the forest of Panama,

through Colombia, Ecuador,
through Peru ending up

eventually in this place in the middle
of the Amazon forest.

And as I going through
this journey in my vision,

I kept cutting it off.

Saying: "No, this is crazy,

I'm not going to do this,
this is nuts", right?

Then I decided at some point
that I was going to

just allow this vision to be,
just allow it to have that.

Before I came into the ceremony,

I prayed, I was looking for something
to set me back on my spiritual path.

And I asked God just to be of service.

And I realized during this vision,
that this vision was the answer

to my prayer to be of service.

I wasn't quite sure how yet.

I took it on that this was something
that was actually possible, right?

And this is something that you guys
want to hear, right?

When we have an idea for a project,

when we have an idea for a place
in our communities,

in our lives when
we can make a difference,

oftentimes, the first thing
that comes to us

are the borders, the blocks, the barriers,

"Oh, I can't do that, that's not me.

Maybe I'm not a scientist,

or maybe I'm not a film maker,
maybe I'm not this or that".

We put all these borders
and limitations on what it is

that we can do, none of them
are true, ok?

Who you are is that anything is
possible in your life

and you can make a big difference.

Just one person, especially
when it's in contribution

to the world around you and
that's the metaphor

for what it was that I was about to do.

So the first step after taking it on,

and saying that this
is indeed possible,

and ok I'll look at this,

is that I had to tell people about it.

I had to make a verbal declaration

that I was walking to Brazil.

So I had to tell my bosses,
I had to tell my mom,

I had to tell my family
that I'm actually leaving

this mansion that I lived in Los Angeles

and I'm going to live
like a vagabond.

On the road.

And didn't even know
how I was going to do it.

I had no plan, no plan, none.

Just that I was doing it.

So for the next two weeks
I was very excited,

telling people about this
new possibility

that was available for me.

Something that was so crazy
that I couldn't have sat down and thought:

"This is what I'm going to do,
this makes a lot of sense", right?

It made no sense at all and that
was kind of the beauty of it.

Two weeks later there was
another ceremony

and I went to the ceremony
praying, asking for guidance

because I had no idea
what I was doing.

And again I saw another vision,

the second of this series,

where, again this is going to sound crazy,

but I saw a vision of Mary in the sky

over the sea of Cortez.

And she didn't say anything to me.

But only her hands were like this.

And I saw myself handing out
blank pieces of paper

to the people that I met on the road.

Who wrote down,
whatever they wanted to write.

They wrote down prayers,
to complete their past.

It was a perfect moment
with a perfect stranger,

someone who they didn't know

and with whom they didn't have to pretend.

And they could just be
totally honest with.

And that they can finish the past

so that they can see into the future

this expanded horizon where
there were no limits.

They weren't dragging a limited past
based on what they know.

Maybe those experiences were good,
maybe they weren't,

but if we're still just going based
in what it is that we know

we're just going to keep creating more
of that into the future,

So if you can clear your past,
even if it's just momentarily,

and look fresh into the horizon,
without limitations,

and see what's possible there and again,

outside of fear or trying to make it,
or just survival.

You know, survival is a game
that we all loose, right?

So ultimately, we're all
going to loose it.

And if you can get over your
fear of death,

most other things like public speaking
for example,

that most people are very afraid of,
myself included,

these are irrational fears

and it's very easy and very simple

to take a step out
and just to go through it.

You know, courage is the
art of having fear

but doing it anyway, alright?

So you're going to have all these fears,
all these blocks

about why you can't do the things
that you want to do

and do it anyway, be who you are
in contribution to the people

around you and to your communities.

So, once I said yes to this project,

everything started lining up perfectly.

I thought again that:
"Ok, I can make it

I'm going to do this on my own."

But of course that doesn't work.

And it's no fun to like make it like:

"I'm going to do this. I'm going to force
my way through the Amazon forest.

To Brazil."

That just doesn't happen.

But naturally, once I declared this,
all the pieces started

aligning themselves perfectly,

collaborating towards my reaching my goal
deep in the Amazon.

So, soon after I met a filmmaker,
his name was Mikki Willis,

from Elevate Films, who decided to promote
my project through a documentary

where the plan was we were going to raise

10 thousand dollars that would
fund my trip.

It was great, it was a platform
kind of like this.

And I was able to speak my project

and the problem was
we only made 800 dollars.

(Laughter)

So I didn't know how I was going to do it.

And yet, I did it anyway.

So I'm very grateful for Mikki Willis

and for Elevate Films for giving me
the mouthpiece because this is

the most important thing.

You have to share what you're going to do

and then you have to do it, right?

So it does no good to have an idea sitting

up here if you're not sharing it

which is one of the reasons
why I love TED,

because we're sharing these ideas.

But also you have to take a step.

What is it than you can today

to turn these dreams,
these visions into reality?

So I want to really encourage
all of you to be able to do.

So my project what it symbolized in part

was the possibility of people getting clear.

Of people removing
the confines of the past

and be able to step into a future

that was limitless and free.

And to able to see through
this person walking

this gringo that if he can walk
from Los Angeles to Brazil

what else is possible for me
in my life? Right?

Like, anything is possible.

So of course the journey is fraught,

is filled with temptations,
with breakdowns,

anytime we're on the road of life

for sure we're going to have flat tires,

the car is going to break down,

we're going to feel sick.

A great mentor of mine
once said,

and I don't know if the joke
will carry here in Brazil

but, sometimes, you just don't feel
like doing something,

you said you were
going to do it,

but you just don't feel like it right?

Well, in California we have a lot
of Mexican food or Tex Mex food.

And we have this thing
called a burrito.

Which, sometimes they're
not always so good, right?

And he said something once,

"You know, my feelings can change
with a bad burrito." Right?

Am I really going to let this stop,
what it is that I'm up to in life, right?

So when you're feeling scared
or feeling these things,

continue to be up to it,
no matter what.

That's the idea, right?

So, also this is the art of
writing down your prayers.

Or write whatever it was, even atheists
took advantage of this project

when we were writing down stuff, right?

It was a cathartic opportunity for it.

The idea is that when you give your word

this is your promise, your promessa, right?

And the art of catholic pilgrimage.

You give your word to something

and then you do it, right?

But it's not in the realm
of right or wrong,

or good or bad or evil
or anything like this, ok?

So Aristotle was the first person
who used the term "Harmatia"

which is where in the New Testament
we have the idea for sin.

It's when you have a bow and arrow,

and you have a target,

and you shoot the arrow
for this target, right?

But you miss the mark.

And there's no morality involved
in this at all, right?

We had a promise and we didn't
keep our promise.

We had a promise to our wives,
to our children, to our communities.

And somewhere along the way
for whatever reasons,

because the very fact that
we are on the road,

we had a breakdown and we
did not keep our promise.

So the idea is, when we break our word,

when we break our promise,

to restore our promise,
to restore our word

literally by speaking it,
or by writing it down,

so that we can come complete
with the past

and then make a new promise, right?

So there were a few places where
I didn't keep my word in this walk:

I didn't walk between Panama
and Colombia, for example,

because the police prevented me
from doing it, ok?

But there were other places where
there were incredible triumphs.

Walking for 30 days through the Amazon

without any maps or compass,
I was lost ten times.

Just on rivers and just kind of
feeling where I was.

It was an incredible project.

So, I would like to bring your attention
to my website:

iamwalking.org

Where you can go and actually
write down your own prayers

to clear your own past in a way
that's totally anonymous and safe

and also declare
your new possibilities in life.

Thank you so much for your time.
(Applause)