Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside
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0:10 - 0:13For a long time in my life
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0:14 - 0:17I felt like I've been living
two different lives. -
0:18 - 0:21There's the life that everyone sees,
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0:22 - 0:25and then there's the life that only I see.
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0:25 - 0:29And in the life
that everyone sees who I am -
0:29 - 0:32as a friend, a son, a brother,
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0:32 - 0:36a stand-up comedian, and a teenager,
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0:36 - 0:38that's the life everyone sees.
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0:38 - 0:41If you were to ask my friends and family,
that's what they would tell you, -
0:41 - 0:43and that's a huge part of me,
that is who I am. -
0:43 - 0:46If you were to ask me to describe myself,
-
0:46 - 0:49I'd probably say
some of those same things, -
0:49 - 0:52and, I wouldn't be lying,
-
0:52 - 0:56but I wouldn't totally be telling you
the truth either -
0:56 - 1:01because the truth is
that's just the life everyone else sees. -
1:01 - 1:03In the life that only I see,
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1:03 - 1:07who I am, who I really am,
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1:07 - 1:10is someone who struggles
intensely with depression -
1:11 - 1:14I have for the last six years of my life
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1:14 - 1:18and I continue to every day.
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1:19 - 1:21For someone
who has never experienced depression, -
1:21 - 1:23or doesn't really know what that means,
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1:23 - 1:25that might surprise them to hear
-
1:25 - 1:27because there's a popular misconception
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1:27 - 1:31that depression is just being sad
when something in your life goes wrong. -
1:31 - 1:34When you break up
with your girlfriend, lose a loved one, -
1:34 - 1:36when you don't get the job you wanted.
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1:36 - 1:38But that's sadness,
that's a natural thing, -
1:38 - 1:40that's a natural human emotion.
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1:40 - 1:44Real depression isn't being sad
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1:44 - 1:47when something in your life goes wrong.
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1:47 - 1:51Real depression is being sad when
everything in your life is going right. -
1:51 - 1:55That's real depression,
and that's what I suffer from. -
1:55 - 1:59And, to be totally be honest, that's hard
for me, to stand up here and say. -
1:59 - 2:01It's hard for me to talk about it.
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2:01 - 2:03And it seems to be hard
for everyone to talk about it. -
2:03 - 2:06So much so that no one
is talking about it. -
2:06 - 2:09And no one is talking about
depression, but we need to be -
2:09 - 2:12because right now it's a massive problem.
-
2:12 - 2:14It's a massive problem.
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2:14 - 2:17But we don't see it on social media,
we don't see it on Facebook, on Twitter, -
2:17 - 2:21we don't see it on the news because
it's not happy, not fun, not light. -
2:21 - 2:24And so, because we don't see it,
we don't see the severity of it. -
2:25 - 2:28But the severity of it,
the seriousness is this: -
2:28 - 2:32every 30 seconds, somewhere,
someone in the world -
2:32 - 2:35takes their own life
because of depression. -
2:35 - 2:39And it might be two blocks away, it may be
two countries away, two continents away, -
2:39 - 2:42but it's happening,
and it's happening every single day. -
2:42 - 2:45And we have a tendency as a society
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2:45 - 2:48to look at that and go,
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2:48 - 2:51"So what? So what?"
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2:51 - 2:56We look at that and we go, "That's
your problem, that's their problem." -
2:57 - 3:00We say we're sad, and we say
we're sorry, but we also say, "So what?" -
3:00 - 3:04Well, two years ago is was my problem
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3:05 - 3:08because I sat on the edge of my bed,
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3:10 - 3:13where I'd sat a million times before,
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3:13 - 3:16and I was suicidal; I was suicidal.
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3:16 - 3:19And if you were to look
at my life on the surface, -
3:19 - 3:21you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal,
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3:21 - 3:24you'd see a kid who was captain
of his basketball team, -
3:24 - 3:28the Drama and Theater Student of the Year,
the English Student of the Year, -
3:28 - 3:32someone who was consistently
on the Honor Roll and at every party. -
3:32 - 3:37So you would say I wasn't depressed
or suicidal, but you'd be wrong. -
3:37 - 3:40I sat through that night
beside a bottle of pills, -
3:40 - 3:42with a pen and paper in my hand,
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3:42 - 3:46and I thought about taking my own life,
and I came this close to doing it. -
3:47 - 3:51I came this close
to doing it. And I didn't. -
3:51 - 3:53That makes me one of the lucky ones,
-
3:53 - 3:56one of the people who gets to step out
onto the ledge and look down but not jump. -
3:56 - 3:59One of the lucky ones who survives.
-
3:59 - 4:03Well, I survived, and that just leaves me
with my story, and my story is this: -
4:03 - 4:07four simple words,
I suffer from depression. -
4:07 - 4:09I suffer from depression.
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4:11 - 4:13And for a long time,
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4:15 - 4:19I think I was living
two totally different lives, -
4:19 - 4:21where one person
was always afraid of the other, -
4:21 - 4:23afraid people would see me
for who I really was, -
4:23 - 4:27that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid
everyone thought I was. -
4:27 - 4:31That beneath my smile there was struggle,
and beneath my light there was dark, -
4:31 - 4:35and beneath my big personality
just hid even bigger pain. -
4:35 - 4:38Some people might fear
girls not liking them back. -
4:38 - 4:40Some people might fear sharks, or death,
-
4:40 - 4:44but for me, for a large part
of my life, I feared myself. -
4:44 - 4:47I feared my truth,
my honesty, my vulnerability, -
4:47 - 4:51and that fear made me feel
like I was forced into a corner, -
4:52 - 4:55and there was only one way out.
-
4:55 - 4:58And so I thought about
that way every single day. -
4:58 - 5:00I thought about it every single day,
-
5:00 - 5:02and if I'm being totally honest
standing here, -
5:02 - 5:05I've thought about it again since,
because that's the sickness. -
5:05 - 5:07That's the struggle. That's depression.
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5:07 - 5:09And depression is not chicken pox,
-
5:09 - 5:12you don't beat it once and it's gone
forever, you live with it it. -
5:12 - 5:15It's something you live in,
it's the roommate you can't kick out, -
5:15 - 5:19the voice you can't ignore,
the feelings you can't seem to escape. -
5:19 - 5:21And the scariest part is,
-
5:21 - 5:23after a while,
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5:23 - 5:26you become numb to it,
it becomes normal for you. -
5:26 - 5:32And what you really fear the most
isn't the suffering inside of you, -
5:32 - 5:35it's the stigma inside of others;
the shame, the embarrassment, -
5:35 - 5:38the disapproving look on a friend's face,
-
5:38 - 5:43the whispers in the hall that you're weak,
the comments that you're crazy. -
5:43 - 5:48That's what keeps you from getting help,
makes you hold it in and hide it. -
5:48 - 5:50It's the stigma.
So you hold it in and you hide it. -
5:50 - 5:54And even though it's keeping you
in bed every day, -
5:54 - 5:56and it's making your life feel empty,
-
5:56 - 5:58no matter how much
you try to fill it, you hide it -
5:58 - 6:01because the stigma in our society
around depression is very real. -
6:01 - 6:05It's very real, and if you think
that it isn't, ask yourself this: -
6:05 - 6:07would you rather make
your next Facebook status say -
6:07 - 6:10you're having a tough time getting
out of bed because you hurt your back, -
6:11 - 6:12or you're having a tough time
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6:12 - 6:15getting out of bed every morning
because you're depressed? -
6:15 - 6:16That's the stigma.
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6:16 - 6:18Because unfortunately, we live in a world
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6:18 - 6:22where if you break your arm,
everyone runs over to sign your cast, -
6:22 - 6:25but if you tell people you're depressed
everyone runs the other way. -
6:25 - 6:27That's the stigma.
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6:27 - 6:30We are so, so accepting
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6:30 - 6:34of any body part breaking down
other than our brains. -
6:34 - 6:37And that's ignorance.
That's pure ignorance. -
6:37 - 6:40And that has created a world
that doesn't understand depression, -
6:40 - 6:42that doesn't understand mental health,
-
6:42 - 6:45and that's ironic to me because depression
is one of the best-documented problems -
6:45 - 6:48we have in the world
and yet it's one of the least discussed. -
6:48 - 6:51We just push it aside, put it in a corner,
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6:51 - 6:54pretend it's not there,
and hope it will fix itself. -
6:54 - 6:56Well, it won't.
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6:56 - 6:59It hasn't, and it's not going to
because that's wishful thinking. -
6:59 - 7:02And wishful thinking
isn't a game plan, it's procrastination. -
7:02 - 7:06And we can't procrastinate
on something this important. -
7:07 - 7:12The first step in solving any problem
is recognizing there is one. -
7:12 - 7:14Well, we haven't done that.
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7:14 - 7:18We can't really expect to find an answer
when we're still afraid of the question. -
7:18 - 7:23And I don't know what the solution is.
I wish I did, but I don't. -
7:23 - 7:28But I think it has to start here.
It has to start with me. -
7:28 - 7:32It has to start with you. It has to start
with the people who are suffering. -
7:32 - 7:34The ones who are hidden in the shadows.
-
7:34 - 7:36We need to speak up
and shatter the silence. -
7:36 - 7:39We need to be the ones
who are brave for what we believe in, -
7:39 - 7:41because if there's one thing
that I have come to realize, -
7:41 - 7:45if there's one thing that I see
is the biggest problem, -
7:45 - 7:50it's not in building a world where
we eliminate the ignorance of others. -
7:51 - 7:55It's in building a world where we teach
the acceptance of ourselves. -
7:55 - 7:56When we're OK with who we are
-
7:56 - 8:00because when we get honest,
we see that we all struggle and suffer -
8:00 - 8:04whether it's with this, something else,
we all know what it is to hurt. -
8:04 - 8:06We all know what it is
to have pain in our heart, -
8:06 - 8:09and we all know
how important it is to heal. -
8:09 - 8:12But right now depression
is society's deep cut -
8:12 - 8:14that we're content to put a Band-Aid over
-
8:14 - 8:17and pretend it's not there;
well, it is there. -
8:17 - 8:19And you know what? It's OK.
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8:19 - 8:23Depression is OK if you are going
through it know that you're OK, -
8:23 - 8:26and know that you're sick,
you're not weak. -
8:26 - 8:28And it's an issue, not an identity,
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8:28 - 8:31because when you get past
the fear, the ridicule, -
8:31 - 8:33the judgment, and the stigma of others,
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8:33 - 8:35you can see depression
for what it really is. -
8:35 - 8:38And that's just a part of life.
-
8:38 - 8:39Just a part of life.
-
8:39 - 8:44And as much as I hate some of the places,
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8:44 - 8:47some of the parts of my life
depression has dragged me down to, -
8:47 - 8:50in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it.
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8:50 - 8:53Because it's put me in the valleys,
but only to show me there's peaks. -
8:53 - 8:57And yes it's dragged me through the dark,
but only to remind me there's light. -
8:57 - 9:01And my pain, more than anything,
in 19 years on this planet -
9:01 - 9:03has given me perspective.
-
9:03 - 9:06And my hurt, my hurt's forced me
to have hope. -
9:06 - 9:10To have hope and to have faith.
Faith in myself. Faith in others. -
9:10 - 9:13Faith that it can get better,
can change this, that we can speak up. -
9:13 - 9:16And speak out and fight back
against ignorance. -
9:16 - 9:18Fight back against intolerance.
-
9:18 - 9:22And more than anything,
learn to love ourselves. -
9:22 - 9:25Learn to accept ourselves for who we are,
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9:25 - 9:29the people we are, not the people
the world wants us to be. -
9:29 - 9:31Because the world I believe in
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9:31 - 9:35is one where embracing your light
doesn't mean ignoring your dark. -
9:35 - 9:36The world I believe in is one
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9:36 - 9:41where we're measured by our ability
to overcome adversities not avoid them. -
9:41 - 9:43The world I believe in
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9:43 - 9:46is one where I can look
someone in the eye and say, -
9:46 - 9:48"I'm going through hell."
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9:48 - 9:51And they can look back at me
and go, "Me too, and that's OK." -
9:51 - 9:56And it's OK because depression
is okay. We're people. -
9:56 - 9:58And we struggle, and we suffer,
and we bleed, and we cry, -
9:58 - 10:02and if you think that true strength
means never showing any weakness, -
10:02 - 10:06then I'm here to tell you you're wrong.
-
10:06 - 10:09Because it's the opposite.
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10:09 - 10:12We're people, and we have problems.
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10:12 - 10:16And we're not perfect, and that's OK.
So we need to stop the ignorance. -
10:16 - 10:19Stop the intolerance. Stop the stigma.
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10:19 - 10:23And stop the silence. And we need
to take away the taboos. -
10:23 - 10:27Take a look at the truth
and start talking. -
10:28 - 10:31Because the only way
-
10:31 - 10:35we're going to beat a problem
that people are battling alone, -
10:36 - 10:40is by standing strong together.
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10:40 - 10:42By standing strong together.
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10:44 - 10:47And I believe that we can.
I believe that we can. -
10:47 - 10:50Thank you guys so much, this is
a dream come true. Thank you! -
10:50 - 10:51(Applause)
-
10:51 - 10:52Thank you.
-
10:52 - 10:53(Applause)
- Title:
- Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside
- Description:
-
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED conferences.
In this emotional talk, Kevin Breel speaks from the heart about his story with depression, how it's impacted his life, and why he is ultimately grateful for it. As a rising young stand up comedian in Canada, Kevin is also extremely involved in mental health work, actively speaking at schools and organizations.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 11:18
TED approved English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
TED edited English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
TED edited English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
TED edited English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
TED edited English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
TED edited English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
TED approved English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside | ||
Jenny Zurawell edited English subtitles for Confessions of a depressed comic | Kevin Breel | TEDxKids@Ambleside |