The 3 A's of awesome
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0:00 - 0:02So the Awesome story:
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0:02 - 0:04It begins about 40 years ago,
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0:04 - 0:07when my mom and my dad came to Canada.
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0:07 - 0:09My mom left Nairobi, Kenya.
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0:09 - 0:12My dad left a small village outside of Amritsar, India.
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0:12 - 0:15And they got here in the late 1960s.
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0:15 - 0:18They settled in a shady suburb about an hour east of Toronto,
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0:18 - 0:20and they settled into a new life.
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0:20 - 0:22They saw their first dentist,
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0:22 - 0:24they ate their first hamburger,
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0:24 - 0:26and they had their first kids.
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0:26 - 0:28My sister and I
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0:28 - 0:30grew up here,
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0:30 - 0:33and we had quiet, happy childhoods.
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0:33 - 0:35We had close family,
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0:35 - 0:37good friends, a quiet street.
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0:37 - 0:39We grew up taking for granted
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0:39 - 0:41a lot of the things that my parents couldn't take for granted
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0:41 - 0:43when they grew up --
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0:43 - 0:45things like power always on
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0:45 - 0:47in our houses,
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0:47 - 0:49things like schools across the street
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0:49 - 0:51and hospitals down the road
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0:51 - 0:53and popsicles in the backyard.
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0:53 - 0:55We grew up, and we grew older.
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0:55 - 0:57I went to high school.
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0:57 - 0:59I graduated.
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0:59 - 1:01I moved out of the house, I got a job,
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1:01 - 1:04I found a girl, I settled down --
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1:04 - 1:07and I realize it sounds like a bad sitcom or a Cat Stevens' song --
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1:07 - 1:09(Laughter)
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1:09 - 1:11but life was pretty good.
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1:11 - 1:13Life was pretty good.
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1:13 - 1:162006 was a great year.
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1:16 - 1:19Under clear blue skies in July in the wine region of Ontario,
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1:19 - 1:21I got married,
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1:21 - 1:24surrounded by 150 family and friends.
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1:25 - 1:282007 was a great year.
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1:28 - 1:30I graduated from school,
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1:30 - 1:33and I went on a road trip with two of my closest friends.
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1:33 - 1:36Here's a picture of me and my friend, Chris,
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1:36 - 1:38on the coast of the Pacific Ocean.
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1:38 - 1:40We actually saw seals out of our car window,
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1:40 - 1:42and we pulled over to take a quick picture of them
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1:42 - 1:45and then blocked them with our giant heads.
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1:45 - 1:47(Laughter)
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1:47 - 1:49So you can't actually see them,
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1:49 - 1:51but it was breathtaking,
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1:51 - 1:53believe me.
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1:53 - 1:55(Laughter)
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1:55 - 1:582008 and 2009 were a little tougher.
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1:58 - 2:00I know that they were tougher for a lot of people,
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2:00 - 2:02not just me.
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2:02 - 2:04First of all, the news was so heavy.
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2:04 - 2:07It's still heavy now, and it was heavy before that,
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2:07 - 2:10but when you flipped open a newspaper, when you turned on the TV,
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2:10 - 2:12it was about ice caps melting,
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2:12 - 2:14wars going on around the world,
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2:14 - 2:17earthquakes, hurricanes
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2:17 - 2:20and an economy that was wobbling on the brink of collapse,
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2:20 - 2:23and then eventually did collapse,
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2:23 - 2:25and so many of us losing our homes,
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2:25 - 2:27or our jobs,
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2:27 - 2:29or our retirements,
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2:29 - 2:31or our livelihoods.
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2:31 - 2:342008, 2009 were heavy years for me for another reason, too.
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2:34 - 2:37I was going through a lot of personal problems at the time.
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2:38 - 2:41My marriage wasn't going well,
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2:41 - 2:45and we just were growing further and further apart.
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2:45 - 2:47One day my wife came home from work
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2:47 - 2:50and summoned the courage, through a lot of tears,
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2:50 - 2:53to have a very honest conversation.
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2:53 - 2:56And she said, "I don't love you anymore,"
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2:56 - 3:00and it was one of the most painful things I'd ever heard
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3:00 - 3:03and certainly the most heartbreaking thing I'd ever heard,
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3:03 - 3:05until only a month later,
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3:05 - 3:08when I heard something even more heartbreaking.
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3:08 - 3:10My friend Chris, who I just showed you a picture of,
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3:10 - 3:12had been battling mental illness for some time.
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3:12 - 3:14And for those of you
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3:14 - 3:16whose lives have been touched by mental illness,
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3:16 - 3:19you know how challenging it can be.
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3:19 - 3:21I spoke to him on the phone at 10:30 p.m.
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3:21 - 3:23on a Sunday night.
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3:23 - 3:26We talked about the TV show we watched that evening.
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3:26 - 3:29And Monday morning, I found out that he disappeared.
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3:29 - 3:32Very sadly, he took his own life.
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3:33 - 3:36And it was a really heavy time.
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3:36 - 3:38And as these dark clouds were circling me,
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3:38 - 3:41and I was finding it really, really difficult
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3:41 - 3:43to think of anything good,
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3:43 - 3:46I said to myself that I really needed a way
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3:46 - 3:49to focus on the positive somehow.
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3:49 - 3:51So I came home from work one night,
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3:51 - 3:53and I logged onto the computer,
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3:53 - 3:55and I started up a tiny website
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3:55 - 3:58called 1000awesomethings.com.
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3:59 - 4:01I was trying to remind myself
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4:01 - 4:03of the simple, universal, little pleasures that we all love,
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4:03 - 4:05but we just don't talk about enough --
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4:05 - 4:07things like waiters and waitresses
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4:07 - 4:09who bring you free refills without asking,
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4:09 - 4:11being the first table to get called up
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4:11 - 4:13to the dinner buffet at a wedding,
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4:13 - 4:15wearing warm underwear from just out of the dryer,
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4:15 - 4:17or when cashiers open up a new check-out lane at the grocery store
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4:17 - 4:19and you get to be first in line --
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4:19 - 4:22even if you were last at the other line, swoop right in there.
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4:22 - 4:25(Laughter)
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4:25 - 4:27And slowly over time,
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4:27 - 4:30I started putting myself in a better mood.
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4:30 - 4:33I mean, 50,000 blogs
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4:33 - 4:36are started a day,
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4:36 - 4:39and so my blog was just one of those 50,000.
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4:39 - 4:42And nobody read it except for my mom.
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4:42 - 4:44Although I should say that my traffic did skyrocket
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4:44 - 4:46and go up by 100 percent
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4:46 - 4:48when she forwarded it to my dad.
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4:48 - 4:50(Laughter)
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4:50 - 4:52And then I got excited
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4:52 - 4:54when it started getting tens of hits,
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4:54 - 4:57and then I started getting excited when it started getting dozens
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4:57 - 5:00and then hundreds and then thousands
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5:00 - 5:02and then millions.
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5:02 - 5:04It started getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
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5:04 - 5:06And then I got a phone call,
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5:06 - 5:08and the voice at the other end of the line said,
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5:08 - 5:12"You've just won the Best Blog In the World award."
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5:12 - 5:14I was like, that sounds totally fake.
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5:14 - 5:17(Laughter)
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5:17 - 5:22(Applause)
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5:22 - 5:25Which African country do you want me to wire all my money to?
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5:25 - 5:28(Laughter)
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5:28 - 5:30But it turns out, I jumped on a plane,
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5:30 - 5:32and I ended up walking a red carpet
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5:32 - 5:35between Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Fallon and Martha Stewart.
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5:35 - 5:38And I went onstage to accept a Webby award for Best Blog.
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5:38 - 5:40And the surprise
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5:40 - 5:42and just the amazement of that
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5:42 - 5:45was only overshadowed by my return to Toronto,
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5:45 - 5:47when, in my inbox,
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5:47 - 5:4910 literary agents were waiting for me
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5:49 - 5:52to talk about putting this into a book.
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5:52 - 5:54Flash-forward to the next year
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5:54 - 5:56and "The Book of Awesome" has now been
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5:56 - 5:58number one on the bestseller list for 20 straight weeks.
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5:58 - 6:06(Applause)
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6:06 - 6:08But look, I said I wanted to do three things with you today.
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6:08 - 6:10I said I wanted to tell you the Awesome story,
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6:10 - 6:12I wanted to share with you the three As of Awesome,
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6:12 - 6:14and I wanted to leave you with a closing thought.
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6:14 - 6:16So let's talk about those three As.
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6:16 - 6:18Over the last few years,
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6:18 - 6:20I haven't had that much time to really think.
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6:20 - 6:23But lately I have had the opportunity to take a step back
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6:23 - 6:26and ask myself: "What is it over the last few years
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6:26 - 6:28that helped me grow my website,
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6:28 - 6:30but also grow myself?"
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6:30 - 6:32And I've summarized those things, for me personally,
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6:32 - 6:34as three As.
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6:34 - 6:37They are Attitude, Awareness
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6:37 - 6:39and Authenticity.
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6:39 - 6:42I'd love to just talk about each one briefly.
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6:43 - 6:45So Attitude:
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6:45 - 6:47Look, we're all going to get lumps,
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6:47 - 6:49and we're all going to get bumps.
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6:49 - 6:52None of us can predict the future, but we do know one thing about it
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6:52 - 6:55and that's that it ain't gonna go according to plan.
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6:55 - 6:57We will all have high highs
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6:57 - 6:59and big days and proud moments
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6:59 - 7:01of smiles on graduation stages,
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7:01 - 7:03father-daughter dances at weddings
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7:03 - 7:06and healthy babies screeching in the delivery room,
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7:06 - 7:08but between those high highs,
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7:08 - 7:11we may also have some lumps and some bumps too.
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7:11 - 7:14It's sad, and it's not pleasant to talk about,
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7:14 - 7:17but your husband might leave you,
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7:17 - 7:19your girlfriend could cheat,
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7:19 - 7:22your headaches might be more serious than you thought,
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7:22 - 7:26or your dog could get hit by a car on the street.
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7:26 - 7:28It's not a happy thought,
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7:28 - 7:31but your kids could get mixed up in gangs
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7:31 - 7:33or bad scenes.
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7:33 - 7:35Your mom could get cancer,
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7:35 - 7:37your dad could get mean.
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7:37 - 7:39And there are times in life
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7:39 - 7:41when you will be tossed in the well, too,
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7:41 - 7:43with twists in your stomach and with holes in your heart,
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7:43 - 7:45and when that bad news washes over you,
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7:45 - 7:48and when that pain sponges and soaks in,
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7:48 - 7:50I just really hope you feel
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7:50 - 7:52like you've always got two choices.
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7:52 - 7:54One, you can swirl and twirl
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7:54 - 7:56and gloom and doom forever,
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7:56 - 7:58or two, you can grieve
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7:58 - 8:00and then face the future
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8:00 - 8:02with newly sober eyes.
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8:02 - 8:05Having a great attitude is about choosing option number two,
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8:05 - 8:07and choosing, no matter how difficult it is,
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8:07 - 8:09no matter what pain hits you,
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8:09 - 8:11choosing to move forward and move on
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8:11 - 8:13and take baby steps into the future.
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8:16 - 8:19The second "A" is Awareness.
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8:20 - 8:23I love hanging out with three year-olds.
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8:23 - 8:25I love the way that they see the world,
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8:25 - 8:27because they're seeing the world for the first time.
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8:27 - 8:30I love the way that they can stare at a bug crossing the sidewalk.
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8:30 - 8:32I love the way that they'll stare slack-jawed
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8:32 - 8:34at their first baseball game
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8:34 - 8:36with wide eyes and a mitt on their hand,
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8:36 - 8:38soaking in the crack of the bat and the crunch of the peanuts
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8:38 - 8:40and the smell of the hotdogs.
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8:40 - 8:43I love the way that they'll spend hours picking dandelions in the backyard
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8:43 - 8:45and putting them into a nice centerpiece
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8:45 - 8:47for Thanksgiving dinner.
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8:47 - 8:49I love the way that they see the world,
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8:49 - 8:51because they're seeing the world
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8:51 - 8:53for the first time.
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8:54 - 8:56Having a sense of awareness
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8:56 - 8:59is just about embracing your inner three year-old.
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8:59 - 9:01Because you all used to be three years old.
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9:01 - 9:03That three-year-old boy is still part of you.
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9:03 - 9:05That three-year-old girl is still part of you.
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9:05 - 9:07They're in there.
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9:07 - 9:10And being aware is just about remembering
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9:10 - 9:12that you saw everything you've seen
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9:12 - 9:14for the first time once, too.
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9:14 - 9:17So there was a time when it was your first time ever
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9:17 - 9:19hitting a string of green lights on the way home from work.
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9:19 - 9:22There was the first time you walked by the open door of a bakery
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9:22 - 9:24and smelt the bakery air,
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9:24 - 9:27or the first time you pulled a 20-dollar bill out of your old jacket pocket
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9:27 - 9:30and said, "Found money."
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9:31 - 9:34The last "A" is Authenticity.
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9:34 - 9:37And for this one, I want to tell you a quick story.
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9:38 - 9:40Let's go all the way back to 1932
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9:40 - 9:43when, on a peanut farm in Georgia,
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9:43 - 9:46a little baby boy named Roosevelt Grier was born.
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9:47 - 9:50Roosevelt Grier, or Rosey Grier, as people used to call him,
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9:50 - 9:52grew up and grew into
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9:52 - 9:56a 300-pound, six-foot-five linebacker in the NFL.
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9:56 - 9:59He's number 76 in the picture.
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9:59 - 10:02Here he is pictured with the "fearsome foursome."
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10:02 - 10:04These were four guys on the L.A. Rams in the 1960s
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10:04 - 10:06you did not want to go up against.
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10:06 - 10:09They were tough football players doing what they love,
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10:09 - 10:11which was crushing skulls
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10:11 - 10:13and separating shoulders on the football field.
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10:13 - 10:15But Rosey Grier also had
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10:15 - 10:17another passion.
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10:17 - 10:20In his deeply authentic self,
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10:20 - 10:23he also loved needlepoint. (Laughter)
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10:24 - 10:26He loved knitting.
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10:26 - 10:28He said that it calmed him down, it relaxed him,
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10:28 - 10:31it took away his fear of flying and helped him meet chicks.
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10:31 - 10:33That's what he said.
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10:34 - 10:36I mean, he loved it so much that, after he retired from the NFL,
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10:36 - 10:38he started joining clubs.
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10:38 - 10:40And he even put out a book
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10:40 - 10:42called "Rosey Grier's Needlepoint for Men."
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10:42 - 10:44(Laughter)
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10:44 - 10:47(Applause)
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10:47 - 10:49It's a great cover.
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10:49 - 10:52If you notice, he's actually needlepointing his own face.
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10:52 - 10:54(Laughter)
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10:54 - 10:57And so what I love about this story
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10:57 - 10:59is that Rosey Grier
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10:59 - 11:01is just such an authentic person,
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11:01 - 11:03and that's what authenticity is all about.
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11:03 - 11:06It's just about being you and being cool with that.
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11:06 - 11:08And I think when you're authentic,
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11:08 - 11:10you end up following your heart,
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11:10 - 11:12and you put yourself in places
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11:12 - 11:14and situations and in conversations
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11:14 - 11:16that you love and that you enjoy.
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11:16 - 11:18You meet people that you like talking to.
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11:18 - 11:20You go places you've dreamt about.
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11:20 - 11:22And you end you end up following your heart
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11:22 - 11:25and feeling very fulfilled.
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11:25 - 11:28So those are the three A's.
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11:28 - 11:30For the closing thought, I want to take you all the way back
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11:30 - 11:33to my parents coming to Canada.
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11:33 - 11:35I don't know what it would feel like
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11:35 - 11:38coming to a new country when you're in your mid-20s.
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11:38 - 11:40I don't know, because I never did it,
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11:40 - 11:43but I would imagine that it would take a great attitude.
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11:43 - 11:46I would imagine that you'd have to be pretty aware of your surroundings
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11:46 - 11:48and appreciating the small wonders
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11:48 - 11:51that you're starting to see in your new world.
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11:51 - 11:53And I think you'd have to be really authentic,
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11:53 - 11:55you'd have to be really true to yourself
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11:55 - 11:58in order to get through what you're being exposed to.
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11:59 - 12:01I'd like to pause my TEDTalk
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12:01 - 12:03for about 10 seconds right now,
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12:03 - 12:05because you don't get many opportunities in life to do something like this,
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12:05 - 12:07and my parents are sitting in the front row.
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12:07 - 12:09So I wanted to ask them to, if they don't mind, stand up.
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12:09 - 12:11And I just wanted to say thank you to you guys.
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12:11 - 12:30(Applause)
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12:30 - 12:33When I was growing up, my dad used to love telling the story
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12:33 - 12:35of his first day in Canada.
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12:35 - 12:38And it's a great story, because what happened was
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12:38 - 12:41he got off the plane at the Toronto airport,
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12:41 - 12:43and he was welcomed by a non-profit group,
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12:43 - 12:45which I'm sure someone in this room runs.
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12:45 - 12:47(Laughter)
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12:47 - 12:50And this non-profit group had a big welcoming lunch
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12:50 - 12:53for all the new immigrants to Canada.
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12:53 - 12:56And my dad says he got off the plane and he went to this lunch
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12:56 - 12:58and there was this huge spread.
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12:58 - 13:01There was bread, there was those little, mini dill pickles,
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13:01 - 13:03there was olives, those little white onions.
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13:03 - 13:05There was rolled up turkey cold cuts,
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13:05 - 13:07rolled up ham cold cuts, rolled up roast beef cold cuts
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13:07 - 13:09and little cubes of cheese.
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13:09 - 13:12There was tuna salad sandwiches and egg salad sandwiches
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13:12 - 13:14and salmon salad sandwiches.
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13:14 - 13:16There was lasagna, there was casseroles,
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13:16 - 13:19there was brownies, there was butter tarts,
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13:19 - 13:22and there was pies, lots and lots of pies.
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13:22 - 13:24And when my dad tells the story, he says,
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13:24 - 13:28"The craziest thing was, I'd never seen any of that before, except bread.
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13:28 - 13:30(Laughter)
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13:30 - 13:32I didn't know what was meat, what was vegetarian.
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13:32 - 13:34I was eating olives with pie.
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13:34 - 13:37(Laughter)
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13:37 - 13:40I just couldn't believe how many things you can get here."
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13:40 - 13:42(Laughter)
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13:42 - 13:44When I was five years old,
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13:44 - 13:46my dad used to take me grocery shopping,
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13:46 - 13:48and he would stare in wonder
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13:48 - 13:51at the little stickers that are on the fruits and vegetables.
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13:51 - 13:54He would say, "Look, can you believe they have a mango here from Mexico?
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13:54 - 13:57They've got an apple here from South Africa.
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13:57 - 14:00Can you believe they've got a date from Morocco?"
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14:00 - 14:03He's like, "Do you know where Morocco even is?"
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14:03 - 14:06And I'd say, "I'm five. I don't even know where I am.
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14:06 - 14:09Is this A&P?"
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14:09 - 14:12And he'd say, "I don't know where Morocco is either, but let's find out."
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14:12 - 14:14And so we'd buy the date, and we'd go home.
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14:14 - 14:16And we'd actually take an atlas off the shelf,
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14:16 - 14:19and we'd flip through until we found this mysterious country.
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14:19 - 14:21And when we did, my dad would say,
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14:21 - 14:23"Can you believe someone climbed a tree over there,
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14:23 - 14:25picked this thing off it, put it in a truck,
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14:25 - 14:28drove it all the way to the docks
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14:28 - 14:30and then sailed it all the way
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14:30 - 14:32across the Atlantic Ocean
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14:32 - 14:34and then put it in another truck
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14:34 - 14:37and drove that all the way to a tiny grocery store just outside our house,
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14:37 - 14:40so they could sell it to us for 25 cents?"
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14:40 - 14:42And I'd say, "I don't believe that."
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14:42 - 14:44And he's like, "I don't believe it either.
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14:44 - 14:47Things are amazing. There's just so many things to be happy about."
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14:47 - 14:49When I stop to think about it, he's absolutely right.
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14:49 - 14:51There are so many things to be happy about.
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14:51 - 14:54We are the only species
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14:54 - 14:57on the only life-giving rock
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14:57 - 15:00in the entire universe that we've ever seen,
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15:00 - 15:02capable of experiencing
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15:02 - 15:04so many of these things.
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15:04 - 15:07I mean, we're the only ones with architecture and agriculture.
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15:07 - 15:10We're the only ones with jewelry and democracy.
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15:10 - 15:13We've got airplanes, highway lanes,
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15:13 - 15:15interior design and horoscope signs.
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15:15 - 15:18We've got fashion magazines, house party scenes.
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15:18 - 15:20You can watch a horror movie with monsters.
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15:20 - 15:23You can go to a concert and hear guitars jamming.
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15:23 - 15:25We've got books, buffets and radio waves,
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15:25 - 15:27wedding brides and rollercoaster rides.
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15:27 - 15:29You can sleep in clean sheets.
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15:29 - 15:31You can go to the movies and get good seats.
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15:31 - 15:34You can smell bakery air, walk around with rain hair,
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15:34 - 15:37pop bubble wrap or take an illegal nap.
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15:37 - 15:39We've got all that,
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15:39 - 15:42but we've only got 100 years to enjoy it.
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15:43 - 15:45And that's the sad part.
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15:47 - 15:50The cashiers at your grocery store,
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15:50 - 15:53the foreman at your plant,
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15:53 - 15:56the guy tailgating you home on the highway,
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15:56 - 15:59the telemarketer calling you during dinner,
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15:59 - 16:01every teacher you've ever had,
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16:01 - 16:04everyone that's ever woken up beside you,
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16:04 - 16:06every politician in every country,
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16:06 - 16:08every actor in every movie,
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16:08 - 16:11every single person in your family, everyone you love,
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16:11 - 16:14everyone in this room and you
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16:14 - 16:17will be dead in a hundred years.
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16:17 - 16:20Life is so great that we only get such a short time
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16:20 - 16:22to experience and enjoy
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16:22 - 16:24all those tiny little moments that make it so sweet.
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16:24 - 16:26And that moment is right now,
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16:26 - 16:29and those moments are counting down,
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16:29 - 16:32and those moments are always, always, always fleeting.
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16:34 - 16:38You will never be as young as you are right now.
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16:39 - 16:42And that's why I believe that if you live your life
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16:42 - 16:44with a great attitude,
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16:44 - 16:46choosing to move forward and move on
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16:46 - 16:48whenever life deals you a blow,
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16:48 - 16:51living with a sense of awareness of the world around you,
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16:51 - 16:53embracing your inner three year-old
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16:53 - 16:56and seeing the tiny joys that make life so sweet
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16:56 - 16:58and being authentic to yourself,
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16:58 - 17:00being you and being cool with that,
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17:00 - 17:03letting your heart lead you and putting yourself in experiences that satisfy you,
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17:03 - 17:05then I think you'll live a life
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17:05 - 17:07that is rich and is satisfying,
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17:07 - 17:09and I think you'll live a life that is truly awesome.
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17:09 - 17:11Thank you.
- Title:
- The 3 A's of awesome
- Speaker:
- Neil Pasricha
- Description:
-
Neil Pasricha's blog 1000 Awesome Things savors life's simple pleasures, from free refills to clean sheets. In this heartfelt talk from TEDxToronto, he reveals the 3 secrets (all starting with A) to leading a life that's truly awesome.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 17:12
TED edited English subtitles for The 3 A's of awesome | ||
TED added a translation |