Immature Guys!

Hey, guys. So I was at the gym playing basketball not very long ago

and I was pretty much inspired to make this video.

I witnessed two grown men almost get into a fist fight over who got to play the next game.

And I was actually gonna do a cut-away re-enacting what happened that night,

but I feel like this next cut-away shows it even better.

[high-pitched voices]
- Get over it.
- No.

- It's my turn to swing.
- No.

- It's not your turn, it's my turn.
- No.

- No, I called next.
- No, I ...

- Yes.
- No.

- If you want next, do something about it.
- Fine. I will.

- [both start crying]
- No.

That's pretty much exactly what happened.

Grown men acting that immature has got to be one of the most annoying things ever. [having a tantrum]

And that's why from now on you're looking at the new and improved mature Ryan.

That was supposed to be the transition, you know, going into the next...

[mid tempo pop music]

- Yeah. Now, this jacket is way too hot to film in, so...

- [laughter]
- Shut up.

Anyway, as I was saying, grown immature men are one of the most annoying things ever.

Don't get me wrong. There's immature girls as well.

Everyone knows that it's a scientifical fact that women mature faster than guys, I think.

I mean, take Justin Timberlake, for example.

He's trying to look more mature and trying to be more grownup by doing this whole suit and tie thing.

But what about Justin Bieber? He's trying to change his image as well.

He's no longer known as that innocent teeny-bopper star anymore.

I mean, he used to be [falsetto voice] Justin Bieber. But now he's, like, [lowered voice] Justin Bieber.

A guy that works out, and gets tattoos and gets caught with drugs, and posts pictures of himself half naked on Instagram.

I like him. Double tap.

And seeing all these changes happen, you know, I want to be cool, too.

I can mature. I can grow up. I can have the name Justin.

So for all of you guys that want to be more like me... "mature" sounds like "manure." [laughs]

Here are some things that I learned while maturing myself up.

Let's start with the whole reason I started this video... fighting.

See, immature guys always want to fight over everything.

Whether it's because they can't control their anger or they're trying to prove how tough they are is just really immature.

See, I can bench press, like, 45 pounds.

I mean I can only bench press, like, two [Inaudible], but pretty soon it's gonna be three. Like I'm...

Sup, bro? What? You checkin' out my girl?

Yeah. And what if I was?

You wanna go right now?

Let's go.

Now take that same situation but with mature guys.

They'd probably handle that situation in a much more civilized manner.

What? You checkin' out my girl?

Yeah. And what if I was?

Well, you want to go right now?

Let's go. Where you want to go?

Why don't we talk this over with some coffee at Starbucks?

Starbucks is kind of expensive. What about McDonald's?

McDonald's ain't got no blueberry scones.

Yeah, but they got hella chocolate chip cookies.

That ain't no blueberry scone though.

It's the same thing.

No, it's not.

But why don't we make a drive-through stop at McDonald's

and meet at Starbucks in 10 minutes?

- Why not?
- Okay.

- Fine
- Good.

I'll see you soon.

Can I catch a ride with you? My car is low on gas.

Hell, yeah!

There's nothing wrong with playing video games as long as you manage your time wisely.

See, if you're immature like I used be, from personal experience it'd probably look something like this.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Damn it! See, you took so long, Now they're all dead... all my blueberries.

See, a mature person would be a lot smarter.

[sighs] I think we need to stop playing video games.

Can't be good for our health, you know.

I mean what else is there to do though?

Play video games in real life. Like what?

Really? Fruit ninja? I guess it couldn't hurt to try.

damn, you alright? [laughing] -I'm good dude. bro?

Immature people listen to immature music. [pop beat]

but mature people listen to the classic like the Beatles or Queens or [inaudible] or

[Oppa Gangnam Style Plays]

Mature men have mature diets. It's important to eat healthy when you're a grown man.

-Hey man, I'm actually headed to the store right now you need anything?

-No, I'm good dude

-Alright

-Oh, actually could you pick me up a Hot Pocket

Just like the pizza one

-Yeah, sure

-Actually, you know what, just get me a whole box of those

-Okay

-And while you're there can you pick me up some Top Ramen

the chicken and the beef and oh, if they have the spicy one

can you get that too.

Oh [snap], ah while you're there you should get me

some uh, Sun Chips. Sun Chips.

Just get like two, three bags maybe

-[Mumbling] I should probably write this down.

-Oh, pretzels. Lots of pretzels, mustard pretzels...

-Wait, slow down

-I don't know if they still have that, but if not just get some pretzels and then get some mustard

-What was the one before that?

-Oh and speaking of mustard, could you get me

like, two or three thirty boxes of Pop Tarts?

-Are you serious right now?

-Cinnamon ones. And then maybe like 20 blueberries

20 strawberries, I don't know you can make some up

Ketchup chips. Those are so bomb.

I don't know if we got them here, it's in Canada

but if you're stopping by...in Canada, that'd be nice.

[Sigh] -Maybe some Cheetos? Hot Cheetos?

Takis. Takis! Hot Cheetos and Takis. Let's get that, so we can do like the song.

-Need anything else, Prince Ryan?

-Skittles. Lot's of Skittles. Starbursts, pickles, detergent.

Oh [snap]. Two liter bottle of Pepsi

-[Sighs] Whatever.

-That was good

Actually now that I think about it, that sounds kind of unhealthy

[Shouting] Diet Pepsi!

and Hot Pockets!

It may have been entertaining in the past

but grow up!

Real men don't watch cartoons.

-Hey do you watch Naruto?

-[tsk] I don't know. Do you?

-I don't know. Do you?

-I mean I guess, like sometmes, like

-[together] Every Thursday night at 12AM when it

first comes out online?

-[yelling together] Naruto!!!

[hand clap]

-So, you do watch it then.

-Yeah, every now and then.

-Hey, do you watch Naruto?

-[tsk] No!

-[Sad music starts playing]

-What am I, like some kind of 10 year old to you?

What kind of question is that anyways?

What are you trying to say, that I'm immature?

That I'm the kind of immature guy that

would watch cartoons?

-[mumbles] I like the show

-Please. Get a life. Grow up!

Read a book.

-[Sigh]

-[music stops] [giggle]

Ah Sakura, you're such a whore.

The number one way to spot an immature person

is by what they find funny.

If you want to be mature, you must never again make any [snap]

fart jokes.

[Farts]

[Laughter]

Sex Jokes.

[coughing in audience]

[Laughter]

Fat jokes.

-You're mom--you're mommas so fat

That when she sat in the chair, it broke.

[Crickets]

And of course the most immature, penis jokes.

[crickets]

[laughter and cheering]

Okay, so obviously I exaggerated all these examples

But you know what I'm trying to say

At some point in time, all you immature guys out there

need to grow up. [Slow sad jazz playing]

Yeah, I'm a guy too, so I understand

how fun video games are

and how funny penis jokes and fart jokes can be.

But the fact of the matter, and the real reason

I made this video is because

I'm getting older. And I'm tired of being called immature in real life

So, if you're looking for anymore cheap laughs

Or, or immature comedy

I suggest you look somewhere else

[music stops]

Oh yeah, I'm thinking about starting a gaming channel.

[Chair breaks]

Penis.

[Teehee] [fart]