Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate
-
0:01 - 0:03Last year,
-
0:03 - 0:05three of my family members
were gruesomely murdered -
0:05 - 0:07in a hate crime.
-
0:08 - 0:10It goes without saying
that it's really difficult -
0:10 - 0:12for me to be here today,
-
0:12 - 0:14but my brother Deah,
-
0:14 - 0:15his wife Yusor,
-
0:15 - 0:17and her sister Razan
-
0:17 - 0:19don't give me much of a choice.
-
0:19 - 0:23I'm hopeful that by the end
of this talk you will make a choice, -
0:23 - 0:25and join me in standing up against hate.
-
0:27 - 0:30It's December 27, 2014:
-
0:30 - 0:32the morning of my brother's wedding day.
-
0:32 - 0:34He asks me to come over and comb his hair
-
0:34 - 0:36in preparation
for his wedding photo shoot. -
0:37 - 0:42A 23-year-old, six-foot-three basketball,
particularly Steph Curry, fanatic -- -
0:42 - 0:44(Laughter)
-
0:46 - 0:49An American kid in dental school
ready to take on the world. -
0:50 - 0:52When Deah and Yusor
have their first dance, -
0:53 - 0:54I see the love in his eyes,
-
0:54 - 0:56her reciprocated joy,
-
0:56 - 0:58and my emotions begin to overwhelm me.
-
0:59 - 1:02I move to the back of the hall
and burst into tears. -
1:03 - 1:05And the second the song finishes playing,
-
1:05 - 1:06he beelines towards me,
-
1:06 - 1:07buries me into his arms
-
1:07 - 1:08and rocks me back and forth.
-
1:09 - 1:10Even in that moment,
-
1:10 - 1:12when everything was so distracting,
-
1:12 - 1:14he was attuned to me.
-
1:14 - 1:16He cups my face and says,
-
1:16 - 1:17"Suzanne,
-
1:17 - 1:19I am who I am because of you.
-
1:23 - 1:25Thank you for everything.
-
1:25 - 1:26I love you."
-
1:27 - 1:31About a month later, I'm back home
in North Carolina for a short visit, -
1:31 - 1:33and on the last evening,
I run upstairs to Deah's room, -
1:33 - 1:37eager to find out how he's feeling
being a newly married man. -
1:37 - 1:39With a big boyish smile he says,
-
1:39 - 1:43"I'm so happy. I love her.
She's an amazing girl." -
1:43 - 1:44And she is.
-
1:45 - 1:48At just 21, she'd recently
been accepted to join Deah -
1:48 - 1:49at UNC dental school.
-
1:50 - 1:53She shared his love for basketball,
and at her urging, -
1:53 - 1:57they started their honeymoon off
attending their favorite team of the NBA, -
1:57 - 1:59the LA Lakers.
-
1:59 - 2:00I mean, check out that form.
-
2:00 - 2:04(Laughter)
-
2:07 - 2:10I'll never forget that moment
sitting there with him -- -
2:10 - 2:13how free he was in his happiness.
-
2:13 - 2:15My littler brother,
a basketball-obsessed kid, -
2:15 - 2:19had become and transformed
into an accomplished young man. -
2:19 - 2:22He was at the top
of his dental school class, -
2:22 - 2:23and alongside Yusor and Razan,
-
2:23 - 2:27was involved in local and international
community service projects -
2:27 - 2:30dedicated to the homeless and refugees,
-
2:30 - 2:32including a dental relief trip
they were planning -
2:32 - 2:34for Syrian refugees in Turkey.
-
2:35 - 2:37Razan, at just 19,
-
2:37 - 2:40used her creativity
as an architectural engineering student -
2:40 - 2:42to serve those around her,
-
2:42 - 2:44making care packages
for the local homeless, -
2:44 - 2:46among other projects.
-
2:46 - 2:48That is who they were.
-
2:49 - 2:51Standing there that night,
-
2:51 - 2:54I take a deep breath
and look at Deah and tell him, -
2:54 - 2:57"I have never been more proud of you
than I am in this moment." -
2:58 - 2:59He pulls me into his tall frame,
-
2:59 - 3:01hugs me goodnight,
-
3:01 - 3:03and I leave the next morning
without waking him -
3:03 - 3:04to go back to San Francisco.
-
3:05 - 3:07That is the last time I ever hug him.
-
3:11 - 3:14Ten days later, I'm on call
at San Francisco General Hospital -
3:14 - 3:17when I receive a barrage of vague
text messages expressing condolences. -
3:18 - 3:20Confused, I call my father,
who calmly intones, -
3:20 - 3:23"There's been a shooting
in Deah's neighborhood in Chapel Hill. -
3:23 - 3:25It's on lock-down. That's all we know."
-
3:26 - 3:29I hang up and quickly Google,
"shooting in Chapel Hill." -
3:29 - 3:31One hit comes up.
-
3:31 - 3:32Quote:
-
3:32 - 3:35"Three people were shot
in the back of the head -
3:35 - 3:36and confirmed dead on the scene."
-
3:37 - 3:38Something in me just knows.
-
3:38 - 3:42I fling out of my chair and faint
onto the gritty hospital floor, -
3:42 - 3:43wailing.
-
3:43 - 3:46I take the first red-eye
out of San Francisco, -
3:46 - 3:47numb and disoriented.
-
3:47 - 3:51I walk into my childhood home
and faint into my parents' arms, -
3:51 - 3:52sobbing.
-
3:52 - 3:55I then run up to Deah's room
as I did so many times before, -
3:55 - 3:57just looking for him,
-
3:57 - 4:00only to find a void
that will never be filled. -
4:04 - 4:07Investigation and autopsy reports
eventually revealed -
4:07 - 4:09the sequence of events.
-
4:10 - 4:13Deah had just gotten
off the bus from class, -
4:13 - 4:14Razan was visiting for dinner,
-
4:14 - 4:16already at home with Yusor.
-
4:17 - 4:19As they began to eat,
they heard a knock on the door. -
4:19 - 4:21When Deah opened it,
-
4:21 - 4:24their neighbor proceeded
to fire multiple shots at him. -
4:27 - 4:28According to 911 calls,
-
4:28 - 4:30the girls were heard screaming.
-
4:32 - 4:35The man turned towards the kitchen
and fired a single shot into Yusor's hip, -
4:35 - 4:36immobilizing her.
-
4:36 - 4:38He then approached her from behind,
-
4:38 - 4:40pressed the barrel of his gun
against her head, -
4:40 - 4:43and with a single bullet,
lacerated her midbrain. -
4:44 - 4:47He then turned towards Razan,
who was screaming for her life, -
4:47 - 4:50and, execution-style, with a single bullet
-
4:52 - 4:53to the back of the head,
-
4:53 - 4:55killed her.
-
4:56 - 4:57On his way out,
-
4:57 - 5:00he shot Deah one last time --
a bullet in the mouth -- -
5:00 - 5:02for a total of eight bullets:
-
5:02 - 5:04two lodged in the head,
-
5:04 - 5:05two in his chest
-
5:06 - 5:08and the rest in his extremities.
-
5:09 - 5:12Deah, Yusor and Razan were executed
-
5:12 - 5:15in a place that was meant
to be safe: their home. -
5:16 - 5:18For months, this man
had been harassing them: -
5:18 - 5:20knocking on their door,
-
5:20 - 5:22brandishing his gun
on a couple of occasions. -
5:23 - 5:26His Facebook was cluttered
with anti-religion posts. -
5:27 - 5:29Yusor felt particularly threatened by him.
-
5:30 - 5:31As she was moving in,
-
5:32 - 5:36he told Yusor and her mom
that he didn't like the way they looked. -
5:37 - 5:40In response, Yusor's mom told her
to be kind to her neighbor, -
5:40 - 5:42that as he got to know them,
-
5:42 - 5:43he'd see them for who they were.
-
5:45 - 5:48I guess we've all become
so numb to the hatred -
5:48 - 5:51that we couldn't have ever imagined
it turning into fatal violence. -
5:54 - 5:57The man who murdered my brother
turned himself in to the police -
5:57 - 5:58shortly after the murders,
-
5:59 - 6:01saying he killed three kids,
-
6:01 - 6:02execution-style,
-
6:02 - 6:04over a parking dispute.
-
6:05 - 6:08The police issued a premature
public statement that morning, -
6:08 - 6:11echoing his claims
without bothering to question it -
6:11 - 6:12or further investigate.
-
6:13 - 6:16It turns out there was no parking dispute.
-
6:16 - 6:17There was no argument.
-
6:17 - 6:19No violation.
-
6:19 - 6:21But the damage was already done.
-
6:21 - 6:23In a 24-hour media cycle,
-
6:23 - 6:27the words "parking dispute" had already
become the go-to sound bite. -
6:30 - 6:32I sit on my brother's bed
and remember his words, -
6:33 - 6:36the words he gave me
so freely and with so much love, -
6:36 - 6:38"I am who I am because of you."
-
6:39 - 6:42That's what it takes for me
to climb through my crippling grief -
6:42 - 6:43and speak out.
-
6:43 - 6:46I cannot let my family's deaths
be diminished to a segment -
6:46 - 6:48that is barely discussed on local news.
-
6:49 - 6:52They were murdered by their neighbor
because of their faith, -
6:52 - 6:56because of a piece of cloth
they chose to don on their heads, -
6:56 - 6:58because they were visibly Muslim.
-
7:02 - 7:03Some of the rage I felt at the time
-
7:03 - 7:05was that if roles were reversed,
-
7:05 - 7:09and an Arab, Muslim
or Muslim-appearing person -
7:09 - 7:14had killed three white American
college students execution-style, -
7:14 - 7:15in their home,
-
7:15 - 7:17what would we have called it?
-
7:18 - 7:19A terrorist attack.
-
7:20 - 7:23When white men commit
acts of violence in the US, -
7:23 - 7:25they're lone wolves,
-
7:25 - 7:26mentally ill
-
7:26 - 7:28or driven by a parking dispute.
-
7:31 - 7:34I know that I have to give
my family voice, -
7:34 - 7:36and I do the only thing I know how:
-
7:36 - 7:39I send a Facebook message
to everyone I know in media. -
7:41 - 7:43A couple of hours later,
-
7:43 - 7:47in the midst of a chaotic house
overflowing with friends and family, -
7:47 - 7:50our neighbor Neal comes over,
sits down next to my parents -
7:50 - 7:52and asks, "What can I do?"
-
7:53 - 7:57Neal had over two decades
of experience in journalism, -
7:57 - 8:00but he makes it clear that he's not
there in his capacity as journalist, -
8:00 - 8:02but as a neighbor who wants to help.
-
8:02 - 8:04I ask him what he thinks we should do,
-
8:04 - 8:07given the bombardment
of local media interview requests. -
8:07 - 8:12He offers to set up a press conference
at a local community center. -
8:13 - 8:16Even now I don't have
the words to thank him. -
8:17 - 8:20"Just tell me when, and I'll have
all the news channels present," he said. -
8:21 - 8:23He did for us what we
could not do for ourselves -
8:23 - 8:25in a moment of devastation.
-
8:26 - 8:27I delivered the press statement,
-
8:27 - 8:29still wearing scrubs
from the previous night. -
8:30 - 8:32And in under 24 hours from the murders,
-
8:32 - 8:34I'm on CNN being interviewed
by Anderson Cooper. -
8:35 - 8:37The following day, major newspapers --
-
8:37 - 8:40including the New York Times,
Chicago Tribune -- -
8:40 - 8:42published stories about Deah,
Yusor and Razan, -
8:42 - 8:45allowing us to reclaim the narrative
-
8:45 - 8:48and call attention the mainstreaming
of anti-Muslim hatred. -
8:51 - 8:52These days,
-
8:53 - 8:57it feels like Islamophobia
is a socially acceptable form of bigotry. -
8:58 - 9:00We just have to put up with it and smile.
-
9:01 - 9:03The nasty stares,
-
9:03 - 9:05the palpable fear when boarding a plane,
-
9:05 - 9:09the random pat downs at airports
that happen 99 percent of the time. -
9:10 - 9:11It doesn't stop there.
-
9:12 - 9:16We have politicians reaping political
and financial gains off our backs. -
9:16 - 9:17Here in the US,
-
9:17 - 9:20we have presidential candidates
like Donald Trump, -
9:20 - 9:22casually calling to register
American Muslims, -
9:22 - 9:26and ban Muslim immigrants and refugees
from entering this country. -
9:26 - 9:29It is no coincidence that hate crimes rise
-
9:29 - 9:32in parallel with election cycles.
-
9:35 - 9:37Just a couple months ago, Khalid Jabara,
-
9:37 - 9:39a Lebanese-American Christian,
-
9:39 - 9:42was murdered in Oklahoma
by his neighbor -- -
9:42 - 9:44a man who called him a "filthy Arab."
-
9:45 - 9:47This man was previously jailed
for a mere 8 months, -
9:47 - 9:50after attempting run over
Khalid's mother with his car. -
9:52 - 9:54Chances are you haven't heard
Khalid's story, -
9:55 - 9:57because it didn't make it
to national news. -
9:57 - 10:00The least we can do is call it what it is:
-
10:00 - 10:01a hate crime.
-
10:01 - 10:04The least we can do is talk about it,
-
10:04 - 10:08because violence and hatred
doesn't just happen in a vacuum. -
10:12 - 10:13Not long after coming back to work,
-
10:13 - 10:15I'm the senior on rounds in the hospital,
-
10:15 - 10:18when one of my patients
looks over at my colleague, -
10:18 - 10:22gestures around her face
and says, "San Bernardino," -
10:22 - 10:24referencing a recent terrorist attack.
-
10:25 - 10:28Here I am having just lost three
family members to Islamophobia, -
10:28 - 10:30having been a vocal advocate
within my program -
10:30 - 10:33on how to deal with such microaggressions,
-
10:33 - 10:34and yet --
-
10:34 - 10:35silence.
-
10:36 - 10:37I was disheartened.
-
10:37 - 10:39Humiliated.
-
10:39 - 10:41Days later rounding on the same patient,
-
10:41 - 10:43she looks at me and says,
-
10:43 - 10:46"Your people are killing
people in Los Angeles." -
10:47 - 10:49I look around expectantly.
-
10:49 - 10:51Again:
-
10:51 - 10:52silence.
-
10:53 - 10:55I realize that yet again,
-
10:55 - 10:56I have to speak up for myself.
-
10:58 - 11:00I sit on her bed and gently ask her,
-
11:00 - 11:04"Have I ever done anything
but treat you with respect and kindness? -
11:05 - 11:09Have I done anything but give
you compassionate care?" -
11:09 - 11:12She looks down and realizes
what she said was wrong, -
11:12 - 11:13and in front of the entire team,
-
11:13 - 11:15she apologizes and says,
-
11:15 - 11:17"I should know better.
I'm Mexican-American. -
11:18 - 11:20I receive this kind
of treatment all the time." -
11:23 - 11:27Many of us experience
microaggressions on a daily basis. -
11:27 - 11:30Odds are you may have experienced it,
-
11:30 - 11:31whether for your race,
-
11:31 - 11:32gender,
-
11:32 - 11:33sexuality
-
11:33 - 11:35or religious beliefs.
-
11:35 - 11:38We've all been in situations
where we've witnessed something wrong -
11:38 - 11:39and didn't speak up.
-
11:39 - 11:43Maybe we weren't equipped
with the tools to respond in the moment. -
11:43 - 11:46Maybe we weren't even aware
of our own implicit biases. -
11:47 - 11:51We can all agree that bigotry
is unacceptable, -
11:51 - 11:52but when we see it,
-
11:52 - 11:53we're silent,
-
11:53 - 11:55because it makes us uncomfortable.
-
11:56 - 11:58But stepping right into that discomfort
-
11:58 - 12:01means you are also stepping
into the ally zone. -
12:01 - 12:05There may be over three million
Muslims in America. -
12:05 - 12:08That's still just one percent
of the total population. -
12:09 - 12:11Martin Luther King once said,
-
12:11 - 12:12"In the end,
-
12:12 - 12:14we will remember not
the words of our enemies, -
12:15 - 12:17but the silence of our friends."
-
12:22 - 12:25So what made my neighbor
Neal's allyship so profound? -
12:25 - 12:27A couple of things.
-
12:27 - 12:29He was there as a neighbor who cared,
-
12:29 - 12:33but he was also bringing in
his professional expertise and resources -
12:33 - 12:34when the moment called for it.
-
12:35 - 12:37Others have done the same.
-
12:37 - 12:40Larycia Hawkins drew on her platform
-
12:40 - 12:43as the first tenured African-American
professor at Wheaton College -
12:43 - 12:45to wear a hijab in solidarity
-
12:45 - 12:48with Muslim women who face
discrimination every day. -
12:48 - 12:50As a result, she lost her job.
-
12:52 - 12:53Within a month,
-
12:53 - 12:56she joined the faculty
at the University of Virginia, -
12:56 - 12:59where she now works on pluralism,
race, faith and culture. -
13:01 - 13:03Reddit cofounder, Alexis Ohanian,
-
13:03 - 13:07demonstrated that not all active
allyship needs to be so serious. -
13:07 - 13:10He stepped up to support
a 15-year-old Muslim girl's mission -
13:10 - 13:12to introduce a hijab emoji.
-
13:12 - 13:14(Laughter)
-
13:14 - 13:16It's a simple gesture,
-
13:16 - 13:18but it has a significant
subconscious impact -
13:18 - 13:21on normalizing and humanizing Muslims,
-
13:21 - 13:24including the community
as a part of an "us" -
13:24 - 13:26instead of an "other."
-
13:27 - 13:30The editor in chief
of Women's Running magazine -
13:30 - 13:34just put the first hijabi to ever be
on the cover of a US fitness magazine. -
13:35 - 13:37These are all very different examples
-
13:37 - 13:40of people who drew upon
their platforms and resources -
13:40 - 13:42in academia, tech and media,
-
13:42 - 13:44to actively express their allyship.
-
13:46 - 13:49What resources and expertise
do you bring to the table? -
13:50 - 13:52Are you willing to step
into your discomfort -
13:52 - 13:54and speak up when you witness
hateful bigotry? -
13:55 - 13:56Will you be Neal?
-
13:57 - 14:00Many neighbors appeared in this story.
-
14:00 - 14:03And you, in your respective communities,
all have a Muslim neighbor, -
14:03 - 14:05colleague
-
14:05 - 14:07or friend your child plays with at school.
-
14:07 - 14:08Reach out to them.
-
14:08 - 14:11Let them know you stand
with them in solidarity. -
14:11 - 14:13It may feel really small,
-
14:13 - 14:16but I promise you it makes a difference.
-
14:17 - 14:21Nothing will ever bring back
Deah, Yusor and Razan. -
14:22 - 14:24But when we raise our collective voices,
-
14:24 - 14:26that is when we stop the hate.
-
14:26 - 14:28Thank you.
-
14:28 - 14:36(Applause)
- Title:
- Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate
- Speaker:
- Suzanne Barakat
- Description:
-
On February 10, 2015, Suzanne Barakat's brother Deah, her sister-in-law Yusor and Yusor's sister Razan were murdered by their neighbor in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. The perpetrator's story, that he killed them over a traffic dispute, went unquestioned by the media and police until Barakat spoke out at a press conference, calling the murders what they really were: hate crimes. As she reflects on how she and her family reclaimed control of their narrative, Barakat calls on us to speak up when we witness hateful bigotry and express our allyship with those who face discrimination.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 14:48
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Brian Greene approved English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Camille Martínez accepted English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | ||
Camille Martínez edited English subtitles for Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate |