Hey Arnold ep Phoebe Breaks a Leg

- Here you go, Helga.
- I said sharp, Phoebe.

These are duller than
afternoon tea with my granny.

Redoing...Ouch!

Burger and fries, chocolate milk,
two bendy straws, and hup to it, Pheebs!

- I'm starvin' here!
- Fetching...

I'll see you on the bus, Helga.
I'm off to the library to return a book.

Oh, right! And you can take mine back
while you're at it.

They're only a few weeks overdue.
Shouldn't cost more than 10 or 20 bucks.

Returning. Um, Helga?
Since my excursion to the library

may take a few more minutes
than previously anticipated,

do you think you could please do me
a little favor and hold the bus?

Sure thing, Pheebs.

She couldn't even do
that one thing for me.

Um, excuse me, your Royal Highness.
I thought you would be pleased to know

that I've finally finished
spit shining all the palace floors.

Excellent. Now cleanse my royal feet,
polish my royal scepter,

- and delouse the royal dog.
- Obeying. Um, your Royal Highness?

Since my forthcoming royal duties
may require more dexterity

than perhaps your greatness
has anticipated, do you think you could

- please do me one little favor?
- Me? Do a favor for you?

Well, yes, you see, I-I was wondering
if you could please remove my shackles.

- They're quite prohibitive.
- Oh, that's funny.

That's terribly, terribly funny.

Please, please! If you could just
do this one little thing for me.

A favor? A favor?!
Ahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha!

Ahahahahahaha!

(Phone rings.) Hello?

Yo, Pheebs! Think you could do me
a favor on your way to school?

I need you to pick up my dry cleaning.
It's only like 10 or 12 blocks

out of your way.
Oh, and why don't you

grab me a dozen doughnuts
while you're at it.

You know, those chocolate cream-filled
ones with the pink frosting and the little

heart-shaped sprinkle things? Thanks!

No problem.

Perhaps my dream meant nothing at all.
Perhaps it was merely an absurd fantasy.

Its players and content having nothing
at all to do with reality.

On the other hand, if I were
to interpret it in a more literal fashion,

I'd have to conclude, judging by
the rather overt symbolism,

that I'm currently experiencing
negative feelings about certain

inequalities in my
relationship with Helga.

- Phoebe! Look out!
- Huh? Ahhhh!

Hm. I wonder what all the fuss is about.
Heh. Bet Warts pulled the old

groin muscle again.
What the...?

- Poor Phoebe.
- Yeah, with all

Helga's washing obstructing her view,
she never even saw the dang bus coming.

Mm-mm-mm, getting mowed down by a bus
doing errands for Helga Pataki?

- Now, that is truly sad.
- I guess you're right, Gerald.

If Phoebe hadn't been doing favors
for Helga, this probably

wouldn't have happened.

Oh, dear, sweet Phoebe!
What have I done? Phoebe!

Oh, I must go to her right away.
I must beg her for forgiveness.

I must write to her,
whom I have so wronged.

I only pray that I'm not too late.

Oh, poor, innocent Phoebe.
This is all my fault.

If I hadn't sent you on
the senseless errand of picking up

dry cleaning and
chocolate cream-filled doughnuts

with the pink frosting and the little
heart shapes sprinkles,

this horrible catastrophe
would have never happened.

- Helga?
- Phoebe?

(Man in bed groans in pain.)

- Phoebe, you're OK!
- Of course I'm OK.

I just have a minor
stress fracture in my lower leg.

Minor stress fracture?
Oh, that's wonderful!

Wait a minute, what am I talking about?
It isn't wonderful, it's horrible!

It is?

Of course it is, Phoebe!
It's horrible because I did it to you!

I mean, think about it.
If I hadn't put you

under so much stress this morning,
if I didn't make you change

your normal safe schedule,
you wouldn't have walked in front

of that bus and this never
would have happened.

- Helga, it was just an accident.
- Oh no, don't try

to take the blame Phoebe.
This is my fault

and I'm gonna make it up to you.
And so, until that cast comes off

your leg, until you're completely healed,
until your very serious

minor stress fracture
is a thing of the past,

I, Helga G. Pataki, am going
to be your humble servant.

And I'm gonna treat you like a queen.

A queen?

And, don't try to talk me out of it.

Well, OK, Helga. I mean, if you insist.

You reorganized my desk
and stocked it with fresh supplies?

- Whenever did you find the time?
- I came in last night,

slipped the janitor a 20
and he let me raid the school store.

Gosh, Helga, thanks so much.

Wow, that's quite a selection!

Ha! You kidding?
This is just the first course.

Gee, Helga, you sure are good to me.

I saved it for us.

You mean, you reserved us the
incredibly exclusive left-side front seat?

Yep, I mean, sure, ol' Betsy here
had to put in a little overtime,

but eventually I got the job done.

Really, Helga, you shouldn't have.
But, I'm so glad you did.

So, what's the diagnosis doctor?
Am I going to be laid up

- for a few more weeks?
- On the contrary, Phoebe.

- You're ready to get your cast off today.
- You mean, I'm healed?

Yeah, quite miraculous, actually.
Anyway, I'm ready to return you

- to your normal life.
- My normal life?

(Helga's voice) These are duller
than afternoon tea with my granny...

Hup to it, Pheebs! I'm starvin' here...
They're only a few weeks overdue,

shouldn't cost you more than
10 or 20 bucks...

Um, doctor, do you think I could
keep my cast once it's removed?

You know, as a souvenir?

It'll only be for a little while longer.
And besides, what harm could it do anyway?

I mean, after all, what Helga
doesn't know certainly won't hurt her.

Heh, perfect.

- Hey, Phoebe, how are you feeling?
- Things are just great.

Though, I'm sad to report that I'll have
to have my cast on for a few more weeks.

A few weeks, huh?
Uhh, ahh!

I hope it's not going to be too much
of a problem for you, because if it is,

I suppose I could try
and wheel myself around.

Problem? Of course not, Phoebe.
Like I said before, I'm here to serve.

Brocco-cheese puff casserole,
fruit juice, chocolate pudding cup.

It's great, Helga. Only...
Only, I'd really prefer tapioca pudding.

I mean, if it's not too much trouble.

Coming right up.

See, I cleaned and reorganized
the whole thing just like you asked.

Thanks, Helga. Now, do you think you
could alphabetize the books for me?

Yeah, sure Pheebs. No problem.

Why don't you take
the aisle today, Phoebe?

That way you can have more room
to stretch out your leg.

Actually, Helga, I'd probably be
more comfortable if you sat over there.

Moving.

Helga? Taking orders from Phoebe?
Now, that's something

- you don't see every day.
- Willikers, you ain't kiddin'.

It is pretty weird. But, once she
gets her cast off, things will probably

go back to the way they were.

- That's it, I can't take it any more!
- Phoebe? Where are you going?

It's OK, Helga. I'm just
getting a little exercise.

You sure? You sure
you don't need my help?

I'm fine.

- Ohh. Ah, ah, ohh.
- Phoebe?

Arnold!

- What are you doing?
- Uh, nothing, nothing at all.

- Your cast, it isn't real.
- Uh, what are you talking about, Arnold?

- Of course it's real.
- Phoebe, I just saw you

take it off and put it back on.
Maybe it was real once, but now...

- Now it has hinges.
- OK, so, what if it is a fake?

It's a free country, I
can fake a broken leg if I want to.

I guess, but why
would you want to?

No reason.

Phoebe, this doesn't by any chance
have anything to do with Helga, does it?

Helga?

Yeah, you know, because of
the way she treats you?

Well, of course not, Arnold.
That's completely ridiculous.

I mean, just because Helga's been
waiting on me hand and foot

ever since the bus accident
that was essentially her fault,

doesn't mean that I'd falsely
prolong my injury in some kind of

passive-aggressive attempt to reap
the benefits of her guilty conscience

and, simultaneously give her
a taste of her own bossy medicine.

Good, because treating her
the same way she treated you

really wouldn't solve anything.

I completely agree.
Anyway, I'll see you later, Arnold.

Uh, uh. Helga,
I need a pillow adjustment.

Fluffing.

- That's enough. Thank you.
- Really? Are you sure you don't need

a little more lift on the left?

I'm sure.

- So, Helga, what's for lunch?
- Well, you see, I was up

late last night thinking about your
nutritional needs, and I decided

that you really shouldn't
be eating this cafeteria food.

- And so, homemade avocado rolls.
- Ooh, they're exquisite.

On second thought, Helga,
I'm not really that hungry right now.

Are you sure, because
if you'd rather have something else,

I've got some backup lunches in my locker.

Maybe later.

I brought four different shampoos.
I wasn't sure which one you liked.

Ooh, how about pomegranate passion?

Shampooing.

Come to think of it, Helga,
I don't think I want my hair washed today.

It's my fault, isn't it?
I should have brought you

- more than four choices.
- No, Helga! Honestly, it's not you.

Oh, maybe this whole situation
has gone far enough.

Maybe I just ought
to call the whole thing off.

Maybe it's time that I admitted
to myself that I can't possibly

- fake my injury forever.
- Here's your math book

and your notebook and your calculator.
Now, wait here while I run

across the street and call a cab
to take you to your appointment.

- My appointment?
- Yeah. You know,

today's your day with
the Swedish massage therapist.

- Now, I'll only be a sec.
- No, Helga, wait!

(Car honks.)

Oh.

That's it, I can't do this anymore.
Arnold was right. This has

everything to do with Helga,
and what I'm doing to her

is no better than what she
was doing to me.

(Truck honks.)

Helga!

Hah!

Phoebe, your leg!
You're healed!

Uh-huh.

That's great!

Now, could you call me an ambulance?

And, so, I faked my injury
because I found that I really liked

you doing things for me for a change.
Oh, I'm sorry, Helga.

I should have just told you
how I was feeling in the beginning.

Wait a minute.
Are you saying

that you felt like I was
taking advantage of you or something?

Well, yes.

You mean, you felt I was making you
do too much stuff for me

and I wasn't doing enough for you?

- Precisely.
- Oh, wow!

But, I always thought
you liked doing things for me.

Well, I do, Helga. But, sometimes,
I wish things were a little different.

I guess I wish sometimes
you'd do things just for me.

Well, OK, Phoebe.
I could do that.

- Really?
- Oh, sure.

From now on, it's not all going to be
about me. Oh, could you get the door?

Opening!

It's going to be about me and you.
And as far as doing favors for each other,

it's going to be even-Steven.
Hey, snag me one of those fruit cups,

- would you.
- Snagging!

From now on, everything's
going to be much better.

You'll see. No,
not L, Phoebe. B, B, B!

B pressing.