Are you human?
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0:01 - 0:04(Music) This is the human test,
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0:04 - 0:07a test to see if you are a human.
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0:07 - 0:11Please raise your hand if something applies to you.
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0:11 - 0:15Are we agreed? Yes?
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0:15 - 0:17Then let's begin.
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0:17 - 0:19Have you ever eaten a booger
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0:19 - 0:22long past your childhood?
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0:22 - 0:25(Laughter)
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0:25 - 0:28It's okay, it's safe here.
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0:28 - 0:32Have you ever made a small, weird sound
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0:32 - 0:37when you remembered something embarrassing?
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0:37 - 0:39Have you ever purposely lowercased
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0:39 - 0:41the first letter of a text
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0:41 - 0:45in order to come across as sad or disappointed?
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0:45 - 0:47(Laughter)
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0:47 - 0:50Okay.
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0:50 - 0:53Have you ever ended a text with a period
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0:53 - 1:00as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
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1:00 - 1:02Have you ever laughed or smiled
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1:02 - 1:04when someone said something shitty to you
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1:04 - 1:06and then spent the rest of the day
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1:06 - 1:10wondering why you reacted that way?
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1:10 - 1:13Yes.
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1:13 - 1:15Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket
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1:15 - 1:17a thousand times as you walked
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1:17 - 1:20from the check-in to the gate?
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1:20 - 1:22Yes.
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1:22 - 1:25Have you ever put on a pair of pants
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1:25 - 1:27and then much later realized that there was
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1:27 - 1:29a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?
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1:29 - 1:31(Laughter)
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1:31 - 1:34Good.
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1:34 - 1:37Have you ever tried to guess
someone else's password -
1:37 - 1:41so many times that it locked their account?
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1:41 - 1:43Mmm.
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1:43 - 1:46Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day
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1:46 - 1:50you will be discovered as a fraud?
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1:50 - 1:53Yes, it's safe here.
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1:53 - 1:56Have you ever hoped that there was some ability
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1:56 - 1:58you hadn't discovered yet
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1:58 - 2:02that you were just naturally great at?
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2:02 - 2:03Mmm.
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2:03 - 2:06Have you ever broken something in real life,
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2:06 - 2:08and then found yourself looking
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2:08 - 2:13for an "undo" button in real life?
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2:13 - 2:15Have you ever misplaced your TED badge
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2:15 - 2:17and then immediately started imagining
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2:17 - 2:22what a three-day Vancouver
vacation might look like? -
2:24 - 2:25Have you ever marveled
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2:25 - 2:29at how someone you thought was so ordinary
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2:29 - 2:33could suddenly become so beautiful?
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2:33 - 2:35Have you ever stared at your phone
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2:35 - 2:40smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?
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2:40 - 2:43Have you ever subsequently texted that person
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2:43 - 2:46the phrase "I'm staring at the phone
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2:46 - 2:49smiling like an idiot"?
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2:49 - 2:51Have you ever been tempted to,
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2:51 - 2:53and then gave in to the temptation,
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2:53 - 2:57of looking through someone else's phone?
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2:57 - 2:59Have you ever had a conversation with yourself
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2:59 - 3:01and then suddenly realized
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3:01 - 3:05you're a real asshole to yourself?
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3:05 - 3:07(Laughter)
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3:07 - 3:10Has your phone ever run out of battery
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3:10 - 3:12in the middle of an argument,
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3:12 - 3:14and it sort of felt like the phone
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3:14 - 3:18was breaking up with both of you?
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3:18 - 3:20Have you ever thought
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3:20 - 3:22that working on an issue between you was futile
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3:22 - 3:25because it should just be easier than this,
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3:25 - 3:30or this is supposed to happen just naturally?
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3:30 - 3:33Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,
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3:33 - 3:36just happens naturally?
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3:36 - 3:39Have you ever woken up blissfully
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3:39 - 3:42and suddenly been flooded
by the awful remembrance -
3:42 - 3:45that someone had left you?
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3:45 - 3:48Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future
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3:48 - 3:49without a person
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3:49 - 3:52that no longer was in your life?
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3:54 - 3:56Have you ever looked back on that event
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3:56 - 3:58with the sad smile of autumn
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3:58 - 4:02and the realization that futures will happen
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4:02 - 4:05regardless?
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4:05 - 4:07Congratulations.
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4:07 - 4:09You have now completed the test.
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4:09 - 4:13You are all human.
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4:13 - 4:16(Applause)
- Title:
- Are you human?
- Speaker:
- Ze Frank
- Description:
-
Have you ever wondered: Am I a human being? Ze Frank suggests a series of simple questions that will determine this. Please relax and follow the prompts. Let's begin …
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 04:34
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Are you human? | ||
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Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Are you human? | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Are you human? | ||
Morton Bast edited English subtitles for Are you human? | ||
Madeleine Aronson accepted English subtitles for Are you human? | ||
Madeleine Aronson edited English subtitles for Are you human? |