0:00:10.711,0:00:13.339 The English language begins with the phrase ‘Up Yours Caesar!’ 0:00:13.339,0:00:16.845 as the Romans leave Britain and a lot of Germanic tribes start flooding in, 0:00:16.845,0:00:20.576 tribes such as the Angles and the Saxons – who together gave us the term Anglo-Saxon 0:00:20.576,0:00:22.114 and the Jutes – who didn’t. 0:00:22.114,0:00:24.483 The Romans left some very straight roads behind, 0:00:24.483,0:00:26.465 but not much of their Latin language. 0:00:26.465,0:00:29.398 The Anglo-Saxon vocab was much more useful 0:00:29.398,0:00:31.804 as it was mainly words for simple everyday[br]things like 0:00:31.804,0:00:34.774 ‘house’, ‘woman’, ‘loaf’ and ‘werewolf’. 0:00:34.774,0:00:38.557 Four of our days of the week were named in honour of Anglo-Saxon gods, 0:00:38.557,0:00:40.348 they didn’t bother with Saturday, Sunday and Monday 0:00:40.348,0:00:41.990 as they had all gone off for a long weekend. 0:00:41.990,0:00:45.002 While they were away, Christian missionaries stole in 0:00:45.002,0:00:47.909 bringing with them leaflets about jumble[br]sales and more Latin. 0:00:47.909,0:00:49.777 Christianity was a hit with the locals 0:00:49.777,0:00:53.496 and made them much happier to take on funky new words from Latin like 0:00:53.496,0:00:55.359 ‘martyr’, ‘bishop’ and ‘font’. 0:00:55.359,0:00:58.696 Along came the Vikings, with their action-man words like 0:00:58.696,0:01:01.215 ‘drag’, ‘ransack’, ‘thrust’ and ‘die’. 0:01:01.215,0:01:04.837 They may have raped and pillaged but there were also into ‘give’ and ‘take’ 0:01:04.837,0:01:07.453 – two of around 2000 words that they gave English, 0:01:07.453,0:01:11.893 as well as the phrase ‘watch out for that man with the enormous axe.’ 0:01:18.124,0:01:20.801 True to his name, William the Conqueror invades England, 0:01:20.801,0:01:24.529 bringing new concepts from across the channel like the French language, 0:01:24.529,0:01:27.440 the Doomsday book and the duty free Galois’s multipack. 0:01:27.440,0:01:29.733 French was de rigeur for all official business, 0:01:29.733,0:01:32.361 with words like ‘judge’, ‘jury’,‘evidence’ and ‘justice’ 0:01:32.361,0:01:35.228 coming in and giving John Grisham’s career a kick-start. 0:01:35.228,0:01:39.401 Latin was still used ad nauseam in Church, but the common man spoke English 0:01:39.401,0:01:43.991 able to communicate only by speaking more slowly and loudly until the others understood him. 0:01:43.991,0:01:47.687 Words like ‘cow’, ‘sheep’ and ‘swine’ come from the English-speaking farmers, 0:01:47.687,0:01:50.694 while the a la carte versions - ‘beef’, ‘mutton’ and ‘pork' 0:01:50.694,0:01:52.660 - come from the French-speaking toffs 0:01:52.660,0:01:56.860 – beginning a long running trend for restaurants having completely indecipherable menus. 0:01:56.860,0:02:00.226 All in all the English absorbed about 2000 new words from the Normans 0:02:00.226,0:02:02.788 but they still couldn't grasp the rules of cheek kissing. 0:02:02.788,0:02:08.171 The bonhomie all ended when the English nation took their new warlike lingo of ‘armies’,‘navies’ and ‘soldiers’ 0:02:08.171,0:02:11.022 and began the Hundred Years War against France. 0:02:11.022,0:02:15.070 It actually lasted 116 years, but by that point no one could count any higher in French 0:02:15.070,0:02:18.340 and English took over as the language of power. 0:02:23.326,0:02:24.713 As the dictionary tells us, 0:02:24.713,0:02:28.773 about 2000 new words and phrases were invented by William Shakespeare 0:02:28.773,0:02:31.993 He gave us handy words like ‘eyeball’, ‘puppy-dog’ and ‘anchovy’ 0:02:31.993,0:02:35.524 - and more show-offy words like ‘dauntless’, ‘besmirch’ and ‘lacklustre’. 0:02:35.524,0:02:39.464 He came up with the word ‘alligator’, soon after he ran out of things to rhyme with ‘crocodile’. 0:02:39.464,0:02:44.100 And a nation of tea-drinkers finally took him to their hearts when he invented the ‘hobnob’. 0:02:44.100,0:02:47.613 Shakespeare knew the power of catchphrases as well as biscuits. 0:02:47.613,0:02:51.719 Without him we wouldnever eat our ‘flesh and blood’ ‘out of house and home’ 0:02:51.719,0:02:53.930 – we’d have to say ‘good riddance’ to[br]‘the green-eyed monster’ 0:02:53.930,0:02:56.700 and ‘breaking the ice’ would be ‘as dead as a doornail’. 0:02:56.700,0:02:59.495 If you tried to get your ‘money’s worth’you’d be given ‘short shrift’ 0:02:59.495,0:03:02.688 and anyone who ‘laid it on with a[br]trowel’ could be ‘hoist with his own petard’. 0:03:02.688,0:03:05.681 Of course it’s possible other people used these words first, 0:03:05.681,0:03:08.368 but the dictionary writers liked[br]looking them up in Shakespeare 0:03:08.368,0:03:11.853 because there was more cross-dressing and people poking each other’s eyes out. 0:03:11.853,0:03:15.848 Shakespeare’s poetry showed the world that English was a language as rich vibrant language 0:03:15.848,0:03:18.574 with limitless expressive and emotional power. 0:03:18.574,0:03:20.990 And he still had time to open all those[br]tearooms in Stratford. 0:03:27.434,0:03:32.665 In 1611 ‘the powers that be’ ‘turned the world upside down’ with a ‘labour of love’ 0:03:32.665,0:03:34.369 – a new translation of the bible. 0:03:34.369,0:03:36.658 A team of scribes with the ‘wisdom of Solomon’ 0:03:36.658,0:03:41.017 - ‘went the extra mile’ to make King James’s translation ‘all things to all men’, 0:03:41.017,0:03:45.553 whether from their ‘heart’s desire’ ‘to[br]fight the good fight’ or just for the ‘filthy lucre’. 0:03:45.553,0:03:48.085 This sexy new Bible went ‘from strength to strength’, 0:03:48.085,0:03:52.511 getting to ‘the root of the matter’ in a language even ‘the salt of the earth’ could understand. 0:03:52.511,0:03:54.260 ‘The writing wasn’t on the wall’, 0:03:54.260,0:03:58.397 it was in handy little books and with ‘fire and brimstone’ preachers reading from it in every church, 0:03:58.397,0:04:01.671 its words and phrases ‘took root’ ‘to the ends of the earth’ 0:04:01.671,0:04:03.214 – well at least the ends of Britain. 0:04:03.214,0:04:07.401 The King James Bible is the book that taught us that ‘a leopard can’t change its spots’, 0:04:07.401,0:04:09.447 that ‘a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush’, 0:04:09.447,0:04:13.020 that ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’ is harder to spot than you would imagine, 0:04:13.020,0:04:15.913 and how annoying it is to have ‘a fly in your ointment’. 0:04:15.913,0:04:19.647 In fact, just as ‘Jonathan begat Meribbaal; and Meribbaal begat Micah 0:04:19.647,0:04:23.870 the King James Bible begat a whole glossary of metaphor and morality 0:04:23.870,0:04:27.829 that still shapes the way English is spoken today. Amen. 0:04:33.777,0:04:36.578 Before the 17th Century scientists weren’t really recognised 0:04:36.578,0:04:38.955 – possibly because lab-coats had[br]yet to catch on. 0:04:38.955,0:04:42.746 But suddenly Britain was full of physicists – there was Robert Hooke, Robert Boyle 0:04:42.746,0:04:45.324 – and even some people not called Robert, like Isaac Newton. 0:04:45.324,0:04:48.374 The Royal Society was formed out of[br]the Invisible College 0:04:48.374,0:04:50.953 – after they put it down somewhere and couldn’t find it again. 0:04:50.953,0:04:52.615 At first they worked in Latin. 0:04:52.615,0:04:54.733 After sitting through Newton’s story about the ‘pomum’ 0:04:54.733,0:04:58.693 falling to the ‘terra’ from the ‘arbor’ for the umpteenth time, 0:04:58.693,0:05:00.944 the bright sparks realised they all spoke[br]English 0:05:00.944,0:05:03.713 and could transform our understanding of the universe much quicker 0:05:03.713,0:05:05.556 by talking in their own language. 0:05:05.556,0:05:08.959 But science was discovering things faster than they could name them. 0:05:08.959,0:05:12.782 Words like ‘acid’,‘gravity’, ‘electricity and ‘pendulum’ 0:05:12.782,0:05:16.707 had to be invented just to stop their meetings turning into an endless game of charades. 0:05:16.707,0:05:20.732 Like teenage boys, the scientists suddenly became aware of the human body 0:05:20.732,0:05:25.292 – coining new words like ‘cardiac’ and ‘tonsil’, ‘ovary’, and ‘sternum’ 0:05:25.292,0:05:28.043 and the invention of ‘penis’ (1693),[br]‘vagina’ (1682) 0:05:28.043,0:05:30.724 made sex education classes a bit easier to follow. 0:05:30.724,0:05:33.479 Though and ‘clitoris’ was[br]still a source of confusion. 0:05:41.610,0:05:43.877 With English making its name as the language of science, 0:05:43.877,0:05:47.443 the Bible and Shakespeare, Britain[br]decided to take it on tour. 0:05:47.443,0:05:50.270 Asking only for land, wealth, natural resources, 0:05:50.270,0:05:53.885 total obedience to the crown and a few local words in return. 0:05:53.885,0:05:56.970 They went to the Caribbean looking for gold and a chance to really unwind 0:05:56.970,0:06:00.389 – discovering the ‘barbeque’, the ‘canoe’ and a pretty good recipe for rum punch. 0:06:00.389,0:06:03.857 They also brought back the word ‘cannibal’ to make their trip sound more exciting. 0:06:03.857,0:06:05.832 In India there was something for everyone. 0:06:05.832,0:06:09.103 ‘Yoga’ – to help you stay in shape, while[br]pretending to be spiritual. 0:06:09.103,0:06:12.215 If that didn’t work there was the ‘cummerbund’ to hide a paunch and 0:06:12.215,0:06:16.022 - if you couldn’t even make it up the stairs without turning ‘crimson’ – they had the ‘bungalow’. 0:06:16.022,0:06:19.178 Meanwhile in Africa they picked up words like ‘voodoo’ and ‘zombie’ 0:06:19.178,0:06:21.218 – kicking off the teen horror film. 0:06:21.218,0:06:25.042 From Australia, English took the words ‘nugget’, ‘boomerang’ and ‘walkabout’ 0:06:25.042,0:06:27.574 and in fact the whole concept of chain pubs. 0:06:27.574,0:06:30.893 All in all, between toppling Napoleon (1815) and the first World War (1914), 0:06:30.893,0:06:34.258 the British Empire gobbled up around 10 millions square miles, 0:06:34.258,0:06:38.086 400 million people and nearly a hundred thousand gin and tonics, 0:06:38.086,0:06:42.352 leaving new varieties of English to develop all over the globe. 0:06:50.429,0:06:55.122 With English expanding in all directions, along came a new breed of men called lexicographers, 0:06:55.122,0:06:56.946 who wanted to put an end to this anarchy 0:06:56.946,0:07:01.703 a word they defined as ‘what happens when people spell words slightly differently from each other’. 0:07:01.703,0:07:03.468 One of the greatest was Doctor Johnson, 0:07:03.468,0:07:06.670 whose ‘Dictionary of the English Language’ which took him 9 years to write. 0:07:06.670,0:07:11.175 It was 18 inches tall and 20 inches wide – and contained 42,773 entries 0:07:11.175,0:07:15.856 meaning that even if you couldn’t read, it was still pretty useful if you wanted to reach a high shelf. 0:07:15.856,0:07:20.192 For the first time, when people were calling you ‘a pickle herring’, a ‘jobbernowl or a ‘fopdoodle’ 0:07:20.192,0:07:22.217 – you could understand exactly what they meant – 0:07:22.217,0:07:25.566 and you’d have the consolation of knowing they all used the standard spelling. 0:07:25.566,0:07:28.691 Try as he might to stop them, words kept being invented 0:07:28.691,0:07:33.174 and in 1857 a new book was started which would become the Oxford English Dictionary. 0:07:33.174,0:07:37.100 It took another 70 years to be finished[br]after the first editor resigned to be an Archbishop, 0:07:37.100,0:07:38.313 the second died of TB 0:07:38.313,0:07:43.092 and the third was so boring that half his volunteers quit and one of the ended up in an Asylum 0:07:43.092,0:07:46.297 It eventually appeared in 1928 and has continued to be revised ever since 0:07:46.297,0:07:50.630 – proving the whole idea that you can stop people making up words is complete snuffbumble. 0:07:59.258,0:08:03.852 From the moment Brits landed in America they needed names for all the plants and animals 0:08:03.852,0:08:07.893 so they borrowed words like ‘raccoon’, ‘squash’ and ‘moose’ from the Native Americans, 0:08:07.893,0:08:09.193 as well as most of their territory. 0:08:09.193,0:08:11.829 Waves of immigrants fed America’s hunger for words. 0:08:11.829,0:08:14.323 The Dutch came sharing ‘coleslaw’ and[br]‘cookies’ 0:08:14.323,0:08:16.987 – probably as a result of their relaxed attitude to drugs. 0:08:16.987,0:08:20.149 Later, the Germans arrived selling ‘pretzels’ from ‘delicatessens’ 0:08:20.149,0:08:25.284 and the Italians arrived with their ‘pizza’, their ‘pasta’ and their ‘mafia’, just like mamma used to make. 0:08:25.284,0:08:28.063 America spread a new language of capitalism 0:08:28.063,0:08:30.715 – getting everyone worried about the[br]‘breakeven’ and ‘the bottom line’, 0:08:30.715,0:08:32.560 whether they were ‘blue chip’ or ‘white collar’. 0:08:32.560,0:08:36.273 The commuter needed a whole new system of ‘freeways’, ‘subways’ and ‘parking lots’ 0:08:36.273,0:08:40.530 – and quickly, before words like ‘merger’ and ‘downsizing’ could be invented. 0:08:40.530,0:08:43.398 American English drifted back across the pond 0:08:43.398,0:08:47.309 as Brits ‘got the hang of’ their ‘cool movies’, and their ‘groovy’ ‘jazz’. 0:08:47.309,0:08:50.241 There were even some old forgotten English words that lived on in America. 0:08:50.241,0:08:54.106 So they carried on using ‘fall’. ‘faucets’, ‘diapers’ and ‘candy’, 0:08:54.106,0:09:00.144 while the Brits moved on to ‘autumn’, ‘taps’, ‘nappies’ and NHS dental care. 0:09:05.888,0:09:09.038 In 1972 the first email was sent 0:09:09.038,0:09:10.293 Soon the Internet arrived 0:09:10.293,0:09:15.129 a free global space to share information, ideas and amusing pictures of cats. 0:09:15.129,0:09:17.576 Before then English changed through people speaking it 0:09:17.576,0:09:19.588 – but the net brought typing back[br]into fashion 0:09:19.588,0:09:22.543 and hundreds of cases of repetitive strain injury. 0:09:22.543,0:09:26.649 Nobody had ever had to ‘download’ anything before, let alone use a ‘toolbar’ - 0:09:26.649,0:09:28.818 And the only time someone set up a ‘firewall’, 0:09:28.818,0:09:32.292 it ended with a massive insurance claim and a huge pile of charred wallpaper. 0:09:32.292,0:09:35.525 Conversations were getting shorter than the average attention span 0:09:35.525,0:09:37.885 – why bother writing a sentence when an abbreviation would do 0:09:37.885,0:09:42.877 and leave you more time to ‘blog’, ‘poke’ and ‘reboot’ when your ‘hard drive’ crashed? 0:09:42.877,0:09:45.875 ‘In my humble opinion’ became ‘IMHO, 0:09:45.875,0:09:48.079 ‘by the way’ became ‘BTW 0:09:48.079,0:09:52.876 and ‘if we’re honest that life-threatening accident was pretty hilarious!’ simply became ‘fail’. 0:09:52.876,0:09:55.319 Some changes even passed into spoken English. 0:09:55.319,0:09:58.414 For your information people frequently[br]asked questions 0:09:58.414,0:10:02.193 like “how can ‘LOL’ mean ‘laugh out loud’ and ‘lots of love’? 0:10:02.193,0:10:06.152 But if you’re going to complain about that then UG2BK. 0:10:13.280,0:10:15.798 In the 1500 years since the Roman’s left Britain, 0:10:15.798,0:10:20.492 English has shown an unique ability to[br]absorb, evolve, invade and, if we’re honest, steal. 0:10:20.492,0:10:22.319 After foreign settlers got it started, 0:10:22.319,0:10:24.853 it grew into a fully-fledged language all of its own, 0:10:24.853,0:10:26.647 before leaving home and travelling the world, 0:10:26.647,0:10:30.756 first via the high seas, then via the high speed broadband connection, 0:10:30.756,0:10:36.114 pilfering words from over 350 languages and establishing itself as a global institution. 0:10:36.114,0:10:39.894 All this despite a written alphabet[br]that bears no correlation to how it sounds 0:10:39.894,0:10:43.649 and a system of spelling that even Dan Brown couldn’t decipher. 0:10:43.649,0:10:47.003 Right now around 1.5 billion people now speak English. 0:10:47.003,0:10:49.644 Of these about a quarter are native speakers, 0:10:49.644,0:10:51.322 a quarter speak it as their second language, 0:10:51.322,0:10:53.982 and half are able to ask for directions[br]to a swimming pool. 0:10:53.982,0:10:56.308 There’s Hinglish – which is Hindi-English, 0:10:56.308,0:10:58.560 Chinglish – which is Chinese-English 0:10:58.560,0:11:03.444 and Singlish – which is Singaporean English – and not that bit when they speak in musicals. 0:11:03.444,0:11:06.381 So in conclusion, the language has got so little to do with England these days 0:11:06.381,0:11:09.124 it may well be time to stop calling it ‘English’. 0:11:09.124,0:11:13.522 But if someone does think up a new name for it, it should probably be in Chinese.