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我喺北韓出世

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雖然我嘅家庭一直處於貧困狀態

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但係我仲係得到屋企人對我嘅關愛

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因為我係家中唯一嘅男丁

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亦係兩個細路當中細嗰個

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但係 1994 嗰年，大饑荒爆發

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當時我四歲

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我同姐姐一起出去搵柴火

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從清晨五點開始

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一直到凌晨先返返屋企

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我為咗搵嘢食而喺街上遊蕩

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我見過一個母親孭住一個細路

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個細路喺母親背脊食緊薯仔

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我當時想偷佢薯仔

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飢餓係虐待人、令人覺得絕望嘅一樣嘢

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對於一個受盡飢餓折磨嘅細路嚟講

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政治同自由係根本諗都唔使諗

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喺我九歲生日嗰日

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我嘅父母甚至無辦法畀嘢食我

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即使我當時仲好細

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我可以感受到父母沉重嘅心

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大約有一百萬北韓人因為嗰次饑荒餓死

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而喺 2003 年，我 13 歲嗰年

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我父親亦成為饑荒嘅受害者

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我親眼目睹父親慢慢衰退嘅死亡

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喺同一年嘅某日，我嘅母親突然消失咗

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然後我姐姐講比我知
母親去咗中國打工搵錢

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但係佢會好快帶著金錢同食物返嚟

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因為我哋之前從未分開過

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而且我覺得我哋會永遠喺埋一齊

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於是佢離開嘅時候
我甚至連擁抱過佢都冇

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呢個係我生命中犯咗嘅最大錯誤

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但係，我當時並唔知道

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呢次係我同母親永遠訣別

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從嗰時開始
我就一直無見過我家姐同母親

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刹時間，我成為一個孤兒，無家可歸

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我每日嘅生活變得更加艱難

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但係我嘅目標好簡單

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就係可以係垃圾堆度
搵到一片好多塵嘅麵包充飢

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但係咁樣始終畀唔到我生存落去

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我開始意識到，乞討解決唔到問題

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所以我嘗試去黑市偷食品車嘅食物

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有時候，我會打散工嚟換取食物

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有一次，我甚至喺一個煤礦度
工作咗兩個月

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位於地底 33 米，無任何保護措施

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每日工作 16 個鐘

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我嘅情況並唔罕見

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好多孤兒都係喺同我相似
或者更加惡劣嘅環境生活

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當我因為太凍或者餓壞而瞓唔到嘅時候

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我希望第二朝早
姐姐會攞著我鍾意嘅食物叫醒我

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呢個希望令我繼續生存落去

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我唔係講緊咩偉大嘅希望

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我講緊嘅希望係令我相信
可以喺下一堆垃圾度搵到麵包

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即使有時真係搵唔到

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但係如果我無呢個信念
我連試都唔去試嘅話

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我就會死

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係希望令我生存

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每日，我都話畀自己聽

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無論生活點樣艱難，我都要生存落去

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經過三年喺度等阿家姐

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我決定去中國搵佢

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我發現咁樣嘅話我更加冇可能生存到

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我明白呢次旅程非常冒險

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但係留喺北韓都係一樣賭緊生命

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因為我可能會好似我父親一樣
餓死喺北韓

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走到中國話唔定我嘅生活會更加好

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我之前聽講過
好多人嘗試夜晚偷渡到中國

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避過俾人發現

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北韓邊境嘅警衛好多時射殺
逃到去中國嘅人

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中國士兵會逮捕
同埋送返脫北者畀北韓當局

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佢哋返到去北韓會受到嚴厲嘅懲罰

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我當時決定日頭偷渡

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第一係我當時仲係一個細路哥，驚黑夜

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第二係我知道
既然我已經冒緊險，所以冇所謂

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而且日頭冇咁多人偷渡

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我覺得我可能會成功過到去

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2006 年 2 月 15 日
我成功偷渡到中國

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我當時 16 歲

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我以為中國嘅生活會容易啲
因為嗰度有多啲食物

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我以為多啲人會幫我

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點知中國嘅生活比北韓仲艱難

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因為我無自由

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同埋成日擔心俾人捉返返去

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幸運嘅係，幾個月後，我遇到一個人

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佢掌管一個照應北韓人嘅地下組織

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佢畀我住喺組織嗰度

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係我咁多年嚟第一次有正餐食

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同年，一個人幫我逃離中國

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以難民嘅身份到達美國

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我去美國嘅時候一句英文都唔識講

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但係我嘅社工話畀我聽我要去讀高中

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即使係北韓，我嘅成績一直都唔合格

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（笑聲）

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我連小學都未讀完

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我記得我以前喺學校
每日至少都要打一次交

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我對課本同圖書館毫無興趣

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父親用盡辦法畀我好好學習

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但係都係無用

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去到一個地步係父親放棄咗我

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佢話：「你唔再係我嘅仔喇！」

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我當時得十一二歲
但係呢句話令我好心痛

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但無論如何，一直到父親去世之前

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我都係冇學習嘅動力

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所以喺美國，佢哋叫我去讀高中

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係有啲荒唐

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我連中學都無讀過

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我之所以決定去
都只係因為佢哋叫我去

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但係我冇畀心機讀

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但係有一日，我返到屋企

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我嘅養母整咗雞翼做晚餐

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食飯嘅時候，我想食多隻雞翼

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但係我發現如果我食多一隻
咁其他人就唔夠食

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所以我冇食到多一隻

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當我得低頭望著我個碟嘅時候

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我見到養父畀咗我最後一隻雞翼

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我當時好開心

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我望住坐喺我隔籬嘅佢

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但佢只係好溫暖咁望咗我一眼，無講嘢

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突然間我諗起我親生父親

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我養父對我嘅愛令我諗起我嘅父親

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即使挨餓，甚至極寒交迫

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父親都願意將佢嘅食物畀咗我先

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美國有咁多嘢食令我好唔習慣

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因為畢竟我嘅父親死於饑荒

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我嗰晚唯一嘅心願就係
為過生嘅父親煮一餐飯

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嗰晚我仲諗緊仲可以
用咩嘢其他方式嚟榮耀佢

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我嘅答案係

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要努力讀書、接受美國最好嘅教育

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嚟榮耀父親嘅犧牲

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我開始認真咁學習

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而且我人生第一次得到最佳學術獎

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同埋喺中學嘅第一個學期
上咗優等生名錄

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（掌聲）

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嗰晚嘅雞翼改變咗我嘅人生

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（笑聲）

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「希望」係一樣個人嘅嘢

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「希望」係其他人無法畀你嘅

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你必須要相信希望

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你必須要令自己相信希望

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喺北韓，我令自己相信咗希望

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希望將我帶到美國

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但喺美國，我迷失咗，我唔知應該做咩

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因為突然間我得到咁多自由

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嗰次晚飯我嘅養父畀咗我方向

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佢鼓勵我，畀咗我嚟美國生活嘅目的

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我並唔係自己一個人就嚟到呢度

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我雖然帶著希望嚟到美國

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但係希望本身並唔夠嘅

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一路上，有好多人幫我嚟到呢度

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北韓人為咗生存而奮鬥

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佢哋要強迫自己去生活落去

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強迫自己抱著對生存嘅希望

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但係如果無人幫手，係無法實現嘅

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我留畀大家嘅說話就係︰

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對自己要有希望，同時要彼此守望相助

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無論你住邊度，生活都可以艱難

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我嘅養父當時並無諗過改變我嘅人生

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但小小嘅關愛
你都可以改變一個人嘅一生

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一片麵包可以令你消除飢餓感

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擁有希望可以為你帶嚟食物
令你繼續生存落去

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我好相信

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你嘅愛同關心
可以救到一個北韓人嘅生命

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同改變成千上萬個
仍然抱著生存希望嘅北韓人

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多謝

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（掌聲）

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主持人： Joseph

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多謝你同大家分享
非常私人而且特別嘅故事

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我知道你一直無見過你嘅姐姐

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正如你話齋將近有十年嘞

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考慮到佢有可能睇到呢個大會

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我哋想畀你同你姐姐講幾句

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講者︰用韓文嗎？

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主持︰你可以先用英文然後再用韓文

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(笑聲）

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講者︰好嘅
但我覺得我唔會用韓文講好多

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因為一講我就會淚流不止

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努娜，已經有將近十年我無見到你喇

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我只係想講我好掛住你，我愛你

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你一定要嚟搵我，一定要好好生存

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而且我…

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我仍然冇放棄再見到你嘅希望

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喺我見到你之前

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我都會幸福咁生活落去
同埋努力讀書

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而且我保證我唔會再喊

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（笑聲）

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係嘅，我只係希望能夠再見到你

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如果你搵唔到我，我都會去搵你

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我希望有一日會見返你

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我可以同我媽咪都講兩句嗎？

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主持︰當然，請講

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講者︰雖然我哋相處嘅時間唔多

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但係我知道你依然愛我

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並且你可能依然仲為我祈禱同掛住我

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我只係想多謝你將我帶嚟呢個世界

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多謝

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（掌聲）