1 00:00:01,261 --> 00:00:02,753 I want you to imagine 2 00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:04,708 what a breakthrough this was 3 00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:07,136 for women who were victims of violence 4 00:00:07,136 --> 00:00:09,092 in the 1980s. 5 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:12,605 They would come into the emergency room 6 00:00:12,605 --> 00:00:16,017 with what the police would call "a lovers' quarrel," 7 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:19,792 and I would see a woman who was beaten, 8 00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:24,534 I would see a broken nose and a fractured wrist 9 00:00:24,534 --> 00:00:26,295 and swollen eyes. 10 00:00:26,295 --> 00:00:30,333 And as activists, we would take our Polaroid camera, 11 00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:32,890 we would take her picture, 12 00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:35,042 we would wait 90 seconds, 13 00:00:35,042 --> 00:00:38,169 and we would give her the photograph. 14 00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:40,063 And she would then have 15 00:00:40,063 --> 00:00:43,290 the evidence she needed to go to court. 16 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:47,724 We were making what was invisible visible. 17 00:00:47,724 --> 00:00:49,695 I've been doing this for 30 years. 18 00:00:49,695 --> 00:00:51,858 I've been part of a social movement 19 00:00:51,858 --> 00:00:53,821 that has been working on ending 20 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:57,928 violence against women and children. 21 00:00:57,928 --> 00:01:00,817 And for all those years, 22 00:01:00,817 --> 00:01:05,549 I've had an absolutely passionate 23 00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:08,496 and sometimes not popular belief 24 00:01:08,496 --> 00:01:11,790 that this violence is not inevitable, 25 00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:14,795 that it is learned, and if it's learned, 26 00:01:14,795 --> 00:01:18,860 it can be un-learned, and it can be prevented. 27 00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:26,045 (Applause) 28 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,008 Why do I believe this? 29 00:01:28,008 --> 00:01:30,221 Because it's true. 30 00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:32,458 It is absolutely true. 31 00:01:32,458 --> 00:01:38,014 Between 1993 and 2010, 32 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:41,347 domestic violence among adult women 33 00:01:41,347 --> 00:01:42,699 in the United States 34 00:01:42,699 --> 00:01:46,086 has gone down by 64 percent, 35 00:01:46,086 --> 00:01:48,763 and that is great news. 36 00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:51,512 (Applause) 37 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,615 Sixty-four percent. Now, how did we get there? 38 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,410 Our eyes were wide open. 39 00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,830 Thirty years ago, women were beaten, 40 00:01:58,830 --> 00:02:00,965 they were stalked, they were raped, 41 00:02:00,965 --> 00:02:03,506 and no one talked about it. 42 00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:05,289 There was no justice. 43 00:02:05,289 --> 00:02:09,913 And as an activist, that was not good enough. 44 00:02:09,913 --> 00:02:12,384 And so step one on this journey 45 00:02:12,384 --> 00:02:14,381 is we organized, 46 00:02:14,381 --> 00:02:17,015 and we created this extraordinary 47 00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:20,007 underground network of amazing women 48 00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,874 who opened shelters, 49 00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,993 and if they didn't open a shelter, 50 00:02:23,993 --> 00:02:25,585 they opened their home 51 00:02:25,585 --> 00:02:28,619 so that women and children could be safe. 52 00:02:28,619 --> 00:02:30,299 And you know what else we did? 53 00:02:30,299 --> 00:02:33,764 We had bake sales, we had car washes, 54 00:02:33,764 --> 00:02:36,298 and we did everything we could do to fundraise, 55 00:02:36,298 --> 00:02:38,275 and then at one point we said, 56 00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:40,416 you know, it's time that we went 57 00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:42,070 to the federal government 58 00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:44,041 and asked them to pay for these 59 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:48,056 extraordinary services that are saving people's lives. 60 00:02:48,056 --> 00:02:50,517 Right? (Applause) 61 00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,591 And so, step number two, 62 00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:55,936 we knew we needed to change the laws. 63 00:02:55,936 --> 00:02:58,223 And so we went to Washington, 64 00:02:58,223 --> 00:03:03,093 and we lobbied for the first piece of legislation. 65 00:03:03,093 --> 00:03:05,854 And I remember walking through the halls 66 00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:08,264 of the U.S. Capitol, 67 00:03:08,264 --> 00:03:12,622 and I was in my 30s, and my life had purpose, 68 00:03:12,622 --> 00:03:14,728 and I couldn't imagine 69 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,855 that anybody would ever challenge 70 00:03:16,855 --> 00:03:18,966 this important piece of legislation. 71 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,902 I was probably 30 and naive. 72 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,984 But I heard about a congressman 73 00:03:23,984 --> 00:03:26,301 who had a very, very different point of view. 74 00:03:26,301 --> 00:03:28,100 Do you know what he called 75 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,851 this important piece of legislation? 76 00:03:30,851 --> 00:03:34,338 He called it the Take the Fun Out of Marriage Act. 77 00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:36,517 The Take the Fun Out of Marriage Act. 78 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,980 Ladies and gentlemen, that was in 1984 79 00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:42,056 in the United States, and I wish I had Twitter. 80 00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:45,243 (Laughter) 81 00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:48,655 Ten years later, after lots of hard work, 82 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:51,732 we finally passed the Violence Against Women Act, 83 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,988 which is a life-changing act 84 00:03:53,988 --> 00:03:56,842 that has saved so many lives. (Applause) 85 00:03:56,842 --> 00:03:58,272 Thank you. 86 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:01,163 I was proud to be part of that work, 87 00:04:01,163 --> 00:04:03,613 and it changed the laws 88 00:04:03,613 --> 00:04:06,464 and it put millions of dollars into local communities. 89 00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:08,791 And you know what else it did? It collected data. 90 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:11,474 And I have to tell you, I'm passionate about data. 91 00:04:11,474 --> 00:04:14,056 In fact, I am a data nerd. 92 00:04:14,056 --> 00:04:16,084 I'm sure there are a lot of data nerds here. 93 00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:17,429 I am a data nerd, 94 00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:20,064 and the reason for that is I want to make sure 95 00:04:20,064 --> 00:04:23,510 that if we spend a dollar, that the program works, 96 00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:27,974 and if it doesn't work, we should change the plan. 97 00:04:27,974 --> 00:04:31,573 And I also want to say one other thing: 98 00:04:31,573 --> 00:04:33,788 We are not going to solve this problem 99 00:04:33,788 --> 00:04:36,641 by building more jails 100 00:04:36,641 --> 00:04:38,938 or by even building more shelters. 101 00:04:38,938 --> 00:04:42,131 It is about economic empowerment for women, 102 00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:44,876 it is about healing kids who are hurt, 103 00:04:44,876 --> 00:04:48,336 and it is about prevention with a capital P. 104 00:04:48,336 --> 00:04:52,730 And so, step number three on this journey: 105 00:04:52,730 --> 00:04:55,682 We know, if we're going to keep making this progress, 106 00:04:55,682 --> 00:04:57,983 we're going to have to turn up the volume, 107 00:04:57,983 --> 00:05:00,195 we're going to have to increase the visibility, 108 00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:03,107 and we're going to have to engage the public. 109 00:05:03,107 --> 00:05:06,517 And so knowing that, we went to the Advertising Council, 110 00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:08,838 and we asked them to help us 111 00:05:08,838 --> 00:05:11,428 build a public education campaign. 112 00:05:11,428 --> 00:05:13,884 And we looked around the world to Canada 113 00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:16,526 and Australia and Brazil and parts of Africa, 114 00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:18,288 and we took this knowledge 115 00:05:18,288 --> 00:05:20,781 and we built the first national 116 00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:22,872 public education campaign 117 00:05:22,872 --> 00:05:25,442 called There's No Excuse for Domestic Violence. 118 00:05:25,442 --> 00:05:27,641 Take a look at one of our spots. 119 00:05:27,641 --> 00:05:29,502 (Video) Man: Where's dinner? 120 00:05:29,502 --> 00:05:33,014 Woman: Well, I thought you'd be home a couple hours ago, and I put everything away, so— 121 00:05:33,014 --> 00:05:36,058 Man: What is this? Pizza. Woman: If you had just called me, I would have known— 122 00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:39,231 Man: Dinner? Dinner ready is a pizza? Woman: Honey, please don't be so loud. 123 00:05:39,231 --> 00:05:41,136 Please don't—Let go of me! 124 00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:44,030 Man: Get in the kitchen! Woman: No! Help! 125 00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:46,385 Man: You want to see what hurts? (Slaps woman) 126 00:05:46,385 --> 00:05:49,803 That's what hurts! That's what hurts! (Breaking glass) 127 00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:52,044 Woman: Help me! 128 00:05:52,044 --> 00:05:55,463 ["Children have to sit by and watch. What's your excuse?"] 129 00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,482 Esta Soler: As we were in the process 130 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,144 of releasing this campaign, 131 00:05:59,144 --> 00:06:01,327 O.J. Simpson was arrested 132 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:05,461 for the murder of his wife and her friend. 133 00:06:05,461 --> 00:06:07,564 We learned that he had a long history 134 00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:08,937 of domestic violence. 135 00:06:08,937 --> 00:06:11,463 The media became fixated. 136 00:06:11,463 --> 00:06:13,482 The story of domestic violence 137 00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:14,836 went from the back page, 138 00:06:14,836 --> 00:06:17,642 but actually from the no-page, to the front page. 139 00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:20,596 Our ads blanketed the airwaves, 140 00:06:20,596 --> 00:06:22,946 and women, for the first time, 141 00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:25,067 started to tell their stories. 142 00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:28,420 Movements are about moments, 143 00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:31,014 and we seized this moment. 144 00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:33,353 And let me just put this in context. 145 00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:36,489 Before 1980, do you have any idea 146 00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:39,774 how many articles were in The New York Times 147 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,787 on domestic violence? 148 00:06:42,787 --> 00:06:46,451 I'll tell you: 158. 149 00:06:46,451 --> 00:06:50,962 And in the 2000s, over 7,000. 150 00:06:50,962 --> 00:06:53,997 We were obviously making a difference. 151 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,743 But we were still missing a critical element. 152 00:06:56,743 --> 00:07:02,258 So, step four: We needed to engage men. 153 00:07:02,258 --> 00:07:04,201 We couldn't solve this problem 154 00:07:04,201 --> 00:07:07,318 with 50 percent of the population on the sidelines. 155 00:07:07,318 --> 00:07:09,538 And I already told you I'm a data nerd. 156 00:07:09,538 --> 00:07:13,161 National polling told us that men felt indicted 157 00:07:13,161 --> 00:07:15,660 and not invited into this conversation. 158 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:19,376 So we wondered, how can we include men? 159 00:07:19,376 --> 00:07:21,495 How can we get men to talk about 160 00:07:21,495 --> 00:07:24,239 violence against women and girls? 161 00:07:24,239 --> 00:07:26,893 And a male friend of mine pulled me aside 162 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:30,269 and he said, "You want men to talk about violence 163 00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:33,186 against women and girls. Men don't talk." 164 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,902 (Laughter) 165 00:07:34,902 --> 00:07:37,178 I apologize to the men in the audience. 166 00:07:37,178 --> 00:07:38,652 I know you do. 167 00:07:38,652 --> 00:07:40,706 But he said, "Do you know what they do do? 168 00:07:40,706 --> 00:07:42,385 They do talk to their kids. 169 00:07:42,385 --> 00:07:45,902 They talk to their kids as parents, as coaches." 170 00:07:45,902 --> 00:07:47,546 And that's what we did. 171 00:07:47,546 --> 00:07:49,320 We met men where they were at 172 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,859 and we built a program. 173 00:07:50,859 --> 00:07:52,638 And then we had this one event 174 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,713 that stays in my heart forever 175 00:07:54,713 --> 00:07:57,298 where a basketball coach 176 00:07:57,298 --> 00:08:01,220 was talking to a room filled with male athletes 177 00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:03,801 and men from all walks of life. 178 00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,704 And he was talking about the importance 179 00:08:05,704 --> 00:08:07,063 of coaching boys into men 180 00:08:07,063 --> 00:08:09,101 and changing the culture of the locker room 181 00:08:09,101 --> 00:08:12,370 and giving men the tools to have healthy relationships. 182 00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:15,298 And all of a sudden, he looked at the back of the room, 183 00:08:15,298 --> 00:08:17,010 and he saw his daughter, 184 00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,572 and he called out his daughter's name, Michaela, 185 00:08:19,572 --> 00:08:21,431 and he said, "Michaela, come up here." 186 00:08:21,431 --> 00:08:23,638 And she's nine years old, and she was kind of shy, 187 00:08:23,638 --> 00:08:24,999 and she got up there, 188 00:08:24,999 --> 00:08:27,605 and he said, "Sit down next to me." 189 00:08:27,605 --> 00:08:29,728 She sat right down next to him. 190 00:08:29,728 --> 00:08:32,536 He gave her this big hug, and he said, 191 00:08:32,536 --> 00:08:35,788 "People ask me why I do this work. 192 00:08:35,788 --> 00:08:38,535 I do this work because I'm her dad, 193 00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:42,230 and I don't want anyone ever to hurt her." 194 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:45,582 And as a parent, I get it. 195 00:08:45,582 --> 00:08:47,738 I get it, 196 00:08:47,738 --> 00:08:50,621 knowing that there are so many sexual assaults 197 00:08:50,621 --> 00:08:52,489 on college campuses 198 00:08:52,489 --> 00:08:56,029 that are so widespread and so under-reported. 199 00:08:56,029 --> 00:08:58,134 We've done a lot for adult women. 200 00:08:58,134 --> 00:09:01,201 We've got to do a better job for our kids. 201 00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:04,391 We just do. We have to. (Applause) 202 00:09:04,391 --> 00:09:06,461 We've come a long way 203 00:09:06,461 --> 00:09:09,472 since the days of the Polaroid. 204 00:09:09,472 --> 00:09:12,625 Technology has been our friend. 205 00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:16,684 The mobile phone is a global game changer 206 00:09:16,684 --> 00:09:18,647 for the empowerment of women, 207 00:09:18,647 --> 00:09:22,852 and Facebook and Twitter and Google and YouTube 208 00:09:22,852 --> 00:09:26,657 and all the social media helps us organize 209 00:09:26,657 --> 00:09:30,108 and tell our story in a powerful way. 210 00:09:30,108 --> 00:09:32,606 And so those of you in this audience 211 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,447 who have helped build those applications 212 00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:36,808 and those platforms, as an organizer, 213 00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:39,218 I say, thank you very much. 214 00:09:39,218 --> 00:09:41,293 Really. I clap for you. 215 00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:44,274 (Applause) 216 00:09:44,274 --> 00:09:47,021 I'm the daughter of a man 217 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,292 who joined one club in his life, 218 00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:52,966 the Optimist Club. 219 00:09:52,966 --> 00:09:55,728 You can't make that one up. 220 00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:59,278 And it is his spirit and his optimism 221 00:09:59,278 --> 00:10:01,188 that is in my DNA. 222 00:10:01,188 --> 00:10:03,050 I have been doing this work 223 00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:05,204 for over 30 years, 224 00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:07,901 and I am convinced, now more than ever, 225 00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:11,574 in the capacity of human beings to change. 226 00:10:11,574 --> 00:10:15,113 I believe we can bend the arc of human history 227 00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:18,131 toward compassion and equality, 228 00:10:18,131 --> 00:10:20,949 and I also fundamentally believe 229 00:10:20,949 --> 00:10:22,987 and passionately believe 230 00:10:22,987 --> 00:10:26,117 that this violence does not have to be part 231 00:10:26,117 --> 00:10:27,942 of the human condition. 232 00:10:27,942 --> 00:10:31,295 And I ask you, stand with us 233 00:10:31,295 --> 00:10:35,110 as we create futures without violence 234 00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:39,530 for women and girls and men and boys everywhere. 235 00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:41,692 Thank you very much. 236 00:10:41,692 --> 00:10:47,803 (Applause)