0:00:39.935,0:00:43.648 Subtitles by MisterMascolo 0:00:49.318,0:00:50.176 Wake up! 0:00:50.176,0:00:52.174 And smell the story, zoners. 0:00:52.244,0:00:55.414 It's that time of the year again,[br]when legends are ripped, 0:00:55.714,0:00:59.170 screaming and bloody,[br]from the womb of glory. 0:00:59.282,0:01:01.894 That's just one [br]of the many disgusting ways 0:01:01.894,0:01:03.996 we'll be describing [br]the white knuckle action 0:01:03.996,0:01:06.967 of VGHS' FPS clan tryouts, 0:01:06.967,0:01:10.937 live here in our mobile news studio [br]at Grand Theft Auditorium. 0:01:10.937,0:01:12.340 And speaking of legends, 0:01:12.530,0:01:15.777 our special guest of today [br]eats legends for brunch. 0:01:17.004,0:01:19.461 Hey, Law, hope you grabbed[br]a snack before the match. 0:01:19.591,0:01:21.559 Ehm, I did Scott, thank you. 0:01:21.559,0:01:23.817 (insincere laughter) 0:01:23.817,0:01:26.870 So, Law, we've got 84 students[br]gunning for just 0:01:26.870,0:01:29.193 12 JV and Varsity jackets. 0:01:29.193,0:01:31.666 Any pro tips for [br]your fellow mouse jockeys 0:01:31.666,0:01:33.941 before they get needy for the death? 0:01:33.941,0:01:39.022 Well, I don't know about pro tips, [br]but let me tell you something 0:01:39.022,0:01:41.850 I once told a promising young newblade. 0:01:43.210,0:01:45.988 VGHS is about being the best. 0:01:47.178,0:01:50.074 But you can't be the best[br]unless you be yourself. 0:01:50.936,0:01:56.190 So before you walk into tryouts today,[br]I want you to dig deep 0:01:57.120,0:01:58.854 before you walk through those doors. 0:01:59.674,0:02:05.487 I want you to find out what drives you[br]'cause once you find that out, 0:02:06.040,0:02:12.763 once you know what it is to truly game,[br]then nobody can break you. 0:02:16.320,0:02:17.982 (sighs) You guys ready to go? 0:02:20.362,0:02:22.918 Chiba, Honzo! 0:02:22.958,0:02:24.941 - How did you--?[br]- Fished them out of the dumpster. 0:02:24.941,0:02:27.410 You didn't think I'd let you [br]actually throw away your gear, did you? 0:02:27.660,0:02:29.610 I fixed them for you.[br]They should be fully functional. 0:02:29.610,0:02:33.723 And I've added a few...upgrades. 0:02:34.013,0:02:37.638 (chuckles) You guys know you're [br]the best friends ever, right? 0:02:37.748,0:02:38.924 We are? 0:02:39.014,0:02:40.316 Of course we are! 0:02:41.876,0:02:43.448 Now let's go play some video games! 0:02:58.270,0:03:00.238 (robot) Now we've seen [br]some great action today, 0:03:00.238,0:03:03.606 but this final match is the one [br]that everyone is gabbing about. 0:03:03.986,0:03:06.446 In the red corner: [br]the leanest, the meanest 0:03:06.536,0:03:09.392 FPS-est varsity crew [br]this school has ever seen. 0:03:09.672,0:03:11.708 They must have a pretty good captain. 0:03:11.708,0:03:16.384 (robot) And in the blue corner,[br]a ragtag group led by Jenny Matrix, 0:03:16.415,0:03:19.331 who's fighting to be[br]the first Sophomore ever to make it 0:03:19.331,0:03:22.206 onto the VGHS varsity team. 0:03:22.336,0:03:23.861 (sporstcaster) Doesn't help [br]that she's down a man 0:03:23.861,0:03:25.596 due to Brian D's expulsion. 0:03:25.606,0:03:27.523 Yes, we've got you to thank for that, Law. 0:03:27.523,0:03:30.153 Look, when a troublemaker [br]like Brian comes into a school-- 0:03:30.153,0:03:32.462 STFU, Law, It's Brian D! 0:03:37.409,0:03:38.344 Noo! 0:03:38.494,0:03:39.454 No! 0:03:40.254,0:03:42.999 Don't you understand the meaning [br]of the word "expelled", D? 0:03:43.399,0:03:45.511 (D) I signed up.[br]I'm still in the system. 0:03:45.511,0:03:46.773 The rules say I can play. 0:03:46.773,0:03:49.318 Pff, who sold you that load of molineux? 0:03:49.468,0:03:53.309 Huh? 'Round here I'm the dungeon keeper, [br]and my rules are in black and white. 0:03:53.719,0:03:55.077 Looks like your fable ends here. 0:03:55.077,0:03:56.103 I know it does. 0:03:56.533,0:03:59.597 It was my dream to play [br]on a VGHS team and I screwed it up. 0:03:59.697,0:04:02.379 Yeah, you messed it up bad! [br]Like a failure. 0:04:03.299,0:04:04.801 So what are you doing on my battlefield? 0:04:05.041,0:04:06.501 This isn't about you and me. 0:04:06.991,0:04:08.471 It's not about getting back in. 0:04:08.471,0:04:12.806 It's about one last chance [br]to play with the best of the best. 0:04:14.336,0:04:15.684 It's about playing the game. 0:04:17.414,0:04:21.939 So at the end of the day, Calhoun,[br]it's all about the game. 0:04:25.836,0:04:26.991 GG, Brian D. 0:04:34.241,0:04:35.286 He plays! 0:04:36.296,0:04:37.921 I can't believe that worked. 0:04:38.171,0:04:40.753 Check out Brian D's old school gear! 0:04:41.163,0:04:43.184 Don't tell me that's the set-up piece[br]he smoked you with, 0:04:43.184,0:04:44.559 Law-lipop. 0:04:45.859,0:04:48.726 All right, everybody calm down.[br]The game is about to start. 0:04:53.922,0:04:55.506 Showin' up late again, huh, Brian? 0:04:55.696,0:04:57.053 You never seem to learn, do you? 0:04:57.863,0:05:01.065 Rule number one, Ace.[br]Never give up. 0:05:01.920,0:05:04.726 (Ace) Rule number 271: [br]Never quote my rules back to me. 0:05:04.856,0:05:06.733 Now sit your punk ass [br]down and best of luck to you. 0:05:17.083,0:05:19.543 Y'all know the routine. [br]You keep it clean out there. 0:05:21.883,0:05:23.611 (Ace) Match begins in thirty seconds 0:05:23.611,0:05:26.371 Get busy fraggin' or get busy dyin'. 0:05:26.985,0:05:27.905 Countdown! 0:05:28.805,0:05:30.104 All right, bring it in. 0:05:31.414,0:05:33.731 You should've stayed home, Brian.[br]You're going to ruin it for all of us. 0:05:33.921,0:05:36.980 Yeah, you're expelled.[br]You've no chance of making JV. 0:05:36.980,0:05:39.476 Hey, I've seen these two cats meow 0:05:39.476,0:05:41.272 and it's about to be [br]a fancy feast tonight. 0:05:41.732,0:05:43.054 You plan on bringing the thunder? 0:05:43.054,0:05:43.923 You know it. 0:05:43.923,0:05:45.005 Good enough for me. 0:05:45.355,0:05:46.179 Jenny? 0:05:46.179,0:05:48.733 Well, now that you've worked[br]out your feelings, 0:05:49.023,0:05:52.440 - are you ready to kick some ass?![br]- Yeah! 0:06:39.301,0:06:40.569 We're pinned down on the left! 0:07:06.139,0:07:09.339 Fry my circuits! [br]D and Matrix just grabbed the case! 0:07:09.339,0:07:13.044 Bust out your butts and put[br]butt bibs on those butts zoners, 0:07:13.044,0:07:15.444 because this gumbo is bubble. 0:07:15.674,0:07:18.488 Please, grabbing the case is the easy part. 0:07:18.738,0:07:20.864 Let's see how these butts [br]do on the long one back. 0:07:31.016,0:07:32.819 Hot crawdads,[br]that kid can play. 0:07:34.259,0:07:35.477 I hate that kid. 0:07:54.403,0:07:57.395 Bullim! Underclassmen draw first blood! 0:07:57.395,0:08:00.291 Law, it looks like your [br]ex-girlfriend and arch rival 0:08:00.291,0:08:02.758 are really kicking your team's ass. 0:08:33.749,0:08:35.397 Jenny Matrix has almost done. 0:08:35.867,0:08:39.040 These underclassmen are one point [br]away from the biggest upset 0:08:39.040,0:08:40.833 in clan tryout's history. 0:08:40.903,0:08:44.257 And that's not all, shotbot.[br]Another round like that, 0:08:44.257,0:08:47.664 and Brian D. could actually [br]get back into VGHS. 0:08:48.114,0:08:49.925 Now how's that do ya, Law? 0:08:52.155,0:08:53.377 He's gone. 0:08:54.097,0:08:55.167 He left. 0:09:01.761,0:09:04.698 All right, you three left flank.[br]Everyone else with me. 0:09:05.108,0:09:06.265 This is it, boys and girls-- 0:09:06.265,0:09:08.012 THE LAW HAS ENTERED THE GAME! 0:09:08.012,0:09:09.132 Wait, The Law?! 0:09:09.482,0:09:10.516 Game over, man. 0:09:10.746,0:09:12.619 Game all over our faces! 0:09:12.619,0:09:13.845 Okay, everybody calm down. 0:09:13.845,0:09:16.007 Don't panic.[br]As long as we keep our-- 0:09:16.377,0:09:17.430 (Law) HEADSHOT! 0:09:19.170,0:09:20.318 Law'll ready for this? 0:09:20.428,0:09:21.725 Run! 0:10:04.380,0:10:05.248 Yowza! 0:10:05.248,0:10:09.235 Lesson learned.[br]Hell hath no fury like a Law scorned! 0:10:27.112,0:10:29.295 (robot) I know me some ownage,[br]but that's got to be 0:10:29.295,0:10:31.483 one of the fastest case grabs I've ever-- 0:10:31.483,0:10:33.243 Oh great Carmak's ghost! 0:10:33.423,0:10:34.649 He scored again! 0:10:36.049,0:10:36.965 (robot) Tie game. 0:10:36.985,0:10:38.807 You know what that means, [br]Colonel Slanders. 0:10:38.807,0:10:40.573 It's time for a sudden death! 0:10:40.743,0:10:43.779 Three minutes, no respawns, no mercy. 0:10:44.129,0:10:47.512 Ladies and gentlemen,[br]it does not get better than this. 0:10:47.912,0:10:52.020 Two incredible stories, one villain [br]of Quakesperian proportions, 0:10:52.310,0:10:54.653 and it all comes down to this final play. 0:10:56.903,0:10:58.575 Jenny, Brian... 0:10:59.415,0:11:00.547 make it a good one. 0:11:01.497,0:11:04.716 Everybody, stop![br]We can still win this thing. 0:11:04.769,0:11:06.860 Get real, Matrix.[br]We're donezo. 0:11:06.890,0:11:08.762 - The Law is coming--[br]- For me. 0:11:10.671,0:11:14.095 The Law is here because I'm here,[br]so I say let him have me. 0:11:15.155,0:11:17.008 You know you're [br]almost back in school, right? 0:11:17.748,0:11:18.926 I know. 0:11:20.426,0:11:21.720 All right, here's the plan. 0:11:46.142,0:11:48.851 LAW! (echoing) 0:11:52.251,0:11:53.364 He's mine. 0:12:08.579,0:12:09.486 Jenny. 0:12:10.046,0:12:10.872 Law. 0:12:11.412,0:12:12.792 Awkward! 0:12:13.542,0:12:14.547 So... 0:12:14.897,0:12:16.296 What's happening, captain? 0:12:17.206,0:12:18.617 Should we just shoot each other? 0:12:18.617,0:12:24.756 Oh, we could, but that won't get you[br]on Varsity now, would it? 0:12:26.496,0:12:30.787 Here's how this is gonna work.[br]You're gonna go grab the intel. 0:12:31.622,0:12:33.976 I'm gonna say hi to Brian. 0:12:34.956,0:12:39.450 And I'll see you [br]at Varsity practice tomorrow. 0:12:39.980,0:12:41.849 You think I'd be caught dead on your team? 0:12:43.969,0:12:45.836 Matrix, please. 0:12:48.486,0:12:50.839 I should go before people start talking. 0:13:03.343,0:13:04.143 Hey, Brian. 0:13:04.143,0:13:05.204 Argh. 0:13:05.254,0:13:06.352 Argh! 0:13:06.352,0:13:08.561 Jenny just shot me in the back. 0:13:09.771,0:13:10.575 Oh wait, no. 0:13:10.575,0:13:11.318 I'm sorry. 0:13:11.318,0:13:12.939 She just stabbed you in the back! 0:13:17.928,0:13:19.192 Really, Brian? 0:13:28.647,0:13:29.844 Really? 0:13:33.718,0:13:35.462 I gotta admire your gumption, kid. 0:13:38.092,0:13:40.709 You really want to play [br]this game one last time? 0:13:42.079,0:13:43.171 Okay. 0:13:43.581,0:13:47.292 But the clock's ticking, so why don't you[br]put that 'nade on your noggin 0:13:47.539,0:13:53.457 and we'll put this all "is anybody [br]on Earth better than The Law" issue to bed. 0:14:03.939,0:14:05.142 Brian... 0:14:05.852,0:14:07.052 do the face. 0:14:08.252,0:14:13.330 I'm not the bad guy here.[br]You were nothing and noone 0:14:15.630,0:14:19.372 and then you met me [br]and the whole world gave you 0:14:19.372,0:14:23.791 a shot and you blew it. 0:14:26.001,0:14:27.428 You proved you were nothing. 0:14:29.008,0:14:30.308 But surprise! 0:14:30.498,0:14:36.610 Here's your pal, The Law,[br]coming here to give you one last chance. 0:14:39.808,0:14:46.659 So are you gonna take it? [br]Come on, you've got nothing to lose. 0:14:50.698,0:14:51.951 Almost nothing. 0:16:17.335,0:16:18.862 Law, ready for that?! 0:16:26.896,0:16:28.095 Brian D... 0:16:29.985,0:16:31.157 Congratulations! 0:16:31.517,0:16:33.948 You're once again [br]the lowest ranked player in VGHS. 0:17:04.316,0:17:05.438 Welcome to the team. 0:17:06.388,0:17:07.465 Thanks. 0:17:09.305,0:17:10.507 I'm sorry about Varsity. 0:17:11.597,0:17:12.802 It's okay. 0:17:13.262,0:17:14.586 I'm happy with what I've got. 0:17:26.742,0:17:30.996 Sorry, that was completely unprofessional. 0:17:30.996,0:17:32.098 It's okay. 0:17:32.958,0:17:35.185 I am your captain now, though. 0:17:35.735,0:17:38.720 Oh, well, it won't happen again. 0:17:39.470,0:17:41.077 - Captain...[br]- Good. 0:17:44.702,0:17:46.692 That was your first kiss, wasn't it? 0:17:48.692,0:17:50.376 And my last, 'cause now [br]I'm going to go die. 0:17:50.476,0:17:51.991 No, Brian, it was... 0:17:52.121,0:17:53.534 I'm...(laughs) 0:18:12.331,0:18:13.572 That was better. 0:18:14.657,0:18:15.984 Good... 0:18:19.324,0:18:21.591 'cause that was [br]the last one, right? 0:18:24.061,0:18:25.080 Yeah. 0:18:28.180,0:18:30.211 - I hate this school.[br]- (laughs) 0:18:40.294,0:18:41.718 Practice starts tomorrow. 0:18:44.538,0:18:45.617 See you there.... 0:18:45.797,0:18:46.801 captain. 0:18:54.318,0:18:56.133 Hey, sorry, DK. [br]I'll catch you later. 0:18:56.593,0:18:59.792 Fare thee well, young Theodore,[br]for we drift at daybreak. 0:18:59.792,0:19:01.443 Oh, hey,Ted.[br]Turns out your girlfriend 0:19:01.443,0:19:04.053 here is quite the rocker.[br]She can learn a thing or two 0:19:05.160,0:19:08.279 I'm sure she is, dad.[br]She's pretty awesome at everything. 0:19:08.804,0:19:11.166 Ted, you can play cool all you want, [br]but we both know at the end of the day-- 0:19:11.166,0:19:12.209 Look, it's Brian! 0:19:13.349,0:19:14.654 Oh, see you later, pops. 0:19:19.894,0:19:22.066 Brian freaking D! 0:19:24.386,0:19:25.894 Congratulations, Brian. 0:19:25.894,0:19:27.329 I knew you'd make it back! 0:19:27.329,0:19:28.699 Roommates forever! 0:19:28.759,0:19:30.054 Thanks, guys. 0:19:30.054,0:19:31.212 Whoa, you've made your teams! 0:19:31.212,0:19:33.457 Yeah, she melted my old man's face off. 0:19:33.607,0:19:34.524 Literally. 0:19:34.524,0:19:37.404 Oh no, not literally,[br]but I did do very well. 0:19:37.404,0:19:38.504 So did Ted. 0:19:38.734,0:19:41.194 Put your jacket on.[br]Let's get some victory pizzas! 0:19:41.194,0:19:42.804 Pizza sounds great right about now.