1 00:00:01,659 --> 00:00:04,680 I had a black dog. His name was depression. 2 00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:09,629 Whenever the black dog made an appearance, 3 00:00:09,629 --> 00:00:11,939 I felt empty and life seemed to slow down. 4 00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:16,569 He could surprise me with a visit for no reason or occasion. 5 00:00:22,441 --> 00:00:26,980 When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life, I could only see it through the black dog 6 00:00:17,968 --> 00:00:21,227 The black dog made me look and feel older than my years. 7 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:31,810 Activities that usually brought me pleasure, suddenly ceased to. 8 00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,789 He liked to ruin my appetite. 9 00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:39,861 He chewed up my memory and my ability to concentrate. 10 00:00:41,576 --> 00:00:47,325 Doing anything or going anywhere with the black dog required super human strength. 11 00:00:48,336 --> 00:00:50,876 At social occasions, he would sniff out what confidence I had 12 00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:52,526 and chase it away. 13 00:00:53,675 --> 00:00:55,955 My biggest fear was being found out. 14 00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:57,816 I worried that people would judge me. 15 00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:03,686 Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog I was constantly worried that I would be found out. 16 00:01:03,686 --> 00:01:07,505 So I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up. 17 00:01:07,505 --> 00:01:10,686 Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting 18 00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:15,126 Black dog could make me think and say negative things. 19 00:01:16,746 --> 00:01:20,277 He could make me irritable and difficult to be around. 20 00:01:21,856 --> 00:01:24,974 He would take my love and bury my intimacy. 21 00:01:25,937 --> 00:01:30,495 He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive and negative thinking. 22 00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:34,335 He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day. 23 00:01:34,854 --> 00:01:40,056 Having a black dog in your life isn’t so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue... 24 00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:42,895 at its worst it’s about being devoid of feeling altogether. 25 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,225 As I got older the black dog got bigger 26 00:01:46,225 --> 00:01:49,156 and he started hanging around all the time. 27 00:01:49,804 --> 00:01:52,264 I’d chase him off with whatever I thought might send him running. 28 00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:56,246 But more often than not he’d come out on top 29 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:59,615 going down became easier than getting up again. 30 00:01:59,615 --> 00:02:03,415 So I became rather good at self medication... 31 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:04,884 which never really helped. 32 00:02:06,995 --> 00:02:11,434 Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone. 33 00:02:13,135 --> 00:02:17,266 The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life. 34 00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:21,535 When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question what the point of it is. 35 00:02:22,165 --> 00:02:25,614 Thankfully this was the time that I sought professional help. 36 00:02:25,614 --> 00:02:30,284 This was my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life 37 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:32,655 I learnt that it doesn’t matter who you are 38 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:34,935 the black dog affects millions and millions of people; 39 00:02:34,935 --> 00:02:37,515 it is an equal opportunity mongrel. 40 00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:40,576 I also learnt that there was no silver bullet or magic pill. 41 00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:45,054 Medication can help some and others might need a different approach altogether. 42 00:02:45,054 --> 00:02:49,705 I also learnt that being emotionally genuine and authentic to those who are close to you, 43 00:02:49,705 --> 00:02:51,955 can be an absolute game changer. 44 00:02:52,716 --> 00:02:58,224 Most importantly I learnt not to be afraid of the black dog and I taught him a few new tricks of my own. 45 00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:03,043 The more tired and stressed you are the louder he barks, 46 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:06,044 so it’s important to learn how to quiet your mind. 47 00:03:06,676 --> 00:03:09,186 It’s been clinically proven that regular exercise 48 00:03:09,186 --> 00:03:13,096 can be as effective for treating mild to moderate depression as antidepressants. 49 00:03:13,096 --> 00:03:16,405 So go for a walk or a run and leave the mutt behind. 50 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:20,815 Keep a mood journal; getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful 51 00:03:21,205 --> 00:03:24,525 Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for. 52 00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:29,135 The most important thing to remember is that no matter how bad it gets… 53 00:03:29,135 --> 00:03:35,134 if you take the right steps, talk to the right people, black dog days can and will pass. 54 00:03:35,134 --> 00:03:39,275 I wouldn’t say that I’m grateful for the black dog but he has been an incredible teacher. 55 00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:42,335 He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life. 56 00:03:42,335 --> 00:03:46,948 I learnt that rather than running away from my problems it’s better to embrace them. 57 00:03:46,948 --> 00:03:49,746 The black dog may always be part of my life 58 00:03:49,746 --> 00:03:52,205 but he will never be the beast that he was. 59 00:03:52,205 --> 00:03:54,356 We have an understanding. 60 00:03:54,356 --> 00:03:57,994 I’ve learnt through knowledge, patience, discipline and humour 61 00:03:57,994 --> 00:04:00,634 the worst black dog can be made to heel. 62 00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:03,722 If you are in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help. 63 00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:06,237 There is absolutely no shame in doing so 64 00:04:06,264 --> 00:04:09,263 the only shame is missing out on life.