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Thank you.

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Today I want to talk about[br]3 stages of generosity

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that I have learned along the way.

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The first is the obvious one[br]which is "to give."

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Repeated research shows[br]that we are predisposed to altruism.

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This is not a new thing.

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And we probably don't need research,

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we've all had our moments.

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True story,[br]in Mexico, on Christmas Day,

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a father and a son[br]are sitting by the tree.

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And there's a kid from the slums[br]walking past them.

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Father turns to his son and says,[br]"Son, give him one of your toys."

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The son is reluctant, naturally,

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but when he sees[br]his father is pretty serious,

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he picks up one of his toys,

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and he picks up the least favourite toy.

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And he's about to go up there

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and his dad says,[br]"Son, give him your favorite toy."

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And the son goes up and initially,[br]of course, he is reluctant,

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but he actually goes out and does it.

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When he comes back, the father thinks[br]he needs to appreciate

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and acknowledge what his son has done.

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It was a big sacrifice.

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But much to his surprise,[br]this kid comes back with joy.

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He looks at his dad,[br]looks up and he says,

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"Dad, that was amazing.[br]Can I do it again?"

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And we've all had these moments.

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Some of us are late bloomers.

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I was in my early twenties when a few of us[br]got together and said,

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"We just want to give[br]with no strings attached. What can we do?"

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In Silicon Valley,[br]we went to the homeless shelter

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and we ended up building up a website.

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It felt great, we told our friends,[br]we came back,

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and it became the organizing principle

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for this organization called CharityFocus.

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Along the way we re-learned[br]one very interesting insight,

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and that was this:[br]compassion is contagious.

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When you start organizations, you say,

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"I want to grow this tree,"[br]and you focus on it,

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but with compassion[br]it doesn't work that way.

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You actually have to nurture[br]the whole eco-system.

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So on one side, we were doing[br]technology work,

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but on the weekends,

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we would go out and share meals[br]with the homeless

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and learn about[br]their perspective on life.

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On Wednesdays we'd get together[br]in people's living rooms and meditate,

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see what that is all about.

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We would go out and do acts of kindness,[br]this is the smile card.

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It tells you to got out[br]and do something small for someone else.

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And you do it anonymously,[br]so the person who received it says,

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"Who do I thank?"

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Well, you can't pay back,[br]but you can pay it forward.

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It serves as a reminder to do that.

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It's very beautiful.

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So we've realized[br]that compassion is very contagious.

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Along the way --

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The second stage of generosity[br]was "to receive."

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This is Arthur,[br]he loves to give hugs.

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Anyone who's given a hug,[br]which is all of us,

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knows that you can't give a hug[br]without receiving one.

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And that's obvious,[br]but where we get caught up

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is that so many times when we give,[br]we expect to receive in the same way.

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And that expectation blinds us[br]to new forms of value.

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Now, in CharityFocus,[br]we have three organizing principles.

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One of them was that we don't fundraise.

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We did this partially just to stay humble

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and to be real,[br]we start with what we have.

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If we have a lot, great,[br]if we don't have a lot, great,

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we can still serve.

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That was our organizing principle[br]and we never thought we'd have abundance,

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but lo and behold, we actually started[br]discovering abundance.

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We say what was happening?

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The first kind of abundance we discovered

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was social capital,[br]that's Simpson's-ville."

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Lots and lots of people, right?

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And partially this is[br]because of the Internet.

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It made organizing very easy.

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The transaction cost went down

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and you saw all kinds of movements[br]without a center.

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Now, social capital,[br]we have a lots of it.

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At each of our events,

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there were hundreds of people[br]that we'd interact with offline,

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there were tens of thousands[br]of people online, mixing together,

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creating lots of ripples.

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This was great.

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Then we went to the second stage,[br]which was Synergistic Capital.

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The Internet allows you to do loose ties,

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but what about the deep ties,[br]when you really know somebody,

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you can look them in the eyes[br]and share something deep and profound.

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When you can start to create[br]those deep ties, it increases the trust,

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and when trust is increased,[br]productivity goes up

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and all this good stuff happens,

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but most interestingly,[br]synergy starts to happen.

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Synergy is where one plus one[br]is no longer two.

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It's much more than two,[br]it's a whole different realm of value.

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We started discovering that.

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And the last thing[br]was the "Subtle Capital."

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I am not sure how else to describe it,

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but when you give,[br]there's some inner transformation.

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That inner transformation creates[br]a stillness in your mind

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and that stillness is[br]an unbelievable asset.

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When you have a posse of people[br]committed to cultivating that stillness,

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it really builds new kinds of value

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that is unexpected[br]and awesome and amazing.

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That was discovering an abundance.

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Now, the third stage, which is dance.

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No, I'm not gonna dance.[br]Or maybe I will.

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(Laughter)

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When you give and receive,[br]there's a tendency to keep track.

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Even though we might not do it overtly,[br]subconsciously we're thinking,

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"OK, how much did I give,[br]how much did I receive."

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We do this mathematics.[br]But when you let go of that,

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you start to dance,[br]it becomes very dynamic.

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You see a bunch of dancers over there,

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there're giving each other[br]a shoulder rub.

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But what you notice is that[br]no one is doing a quid pro quo transaction.

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Everyone is doing a massage[br]for somebody in front of them,

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and yet everyone is taken care of.

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When you start dancing to the spirit[br]of not keeping track --

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That guy could say,

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"Oh, the person behind me is giving me[br]15 joules of pressure on my back,

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so I'm going to give only 12 joules."

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If you do that, it doesn't work.

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But when you let that go, all of a sudden[br]you can have the circle

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which works in a very different way.

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So, it works for shoulder rubs,[br]but what about something practical?

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So, we decided to try a little experiment.

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We called it "Karma Kitchen."

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On Sundays, we take over a restaurant.

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You walk into this restaurant,[br]it's like a regular restaurant,

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but it's run by volunteers[br]and at the end of your meal

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your check reads zero.

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It's zero because someone before you[br]paid for your meal.

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And you get to pay forward[br]for somebody after you.

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And people are always confused.

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"Does that mean it's a free meal?"[br]No, it's not a free meal.

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When you go to a soup kitchen,[br]who is paying?

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Someone else outside who's got[br]some other reason for making that happen.

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Here, it's literally[br]the person in front of you,

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the person who was here[br]the week before

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that pays for this week.[br]This week's is for the next week.

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And when you count on people like that[br]to be generous,

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how long will that chain last?

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It has been going for three years.

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And then it started in D.C.

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From the surplus there,[br]it started in Chicago.

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But what's most amazing about this

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is that it creates a different context[br]for a very different kind of value.

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So for example, there was a UC Berkeley PhD[br]in computer science guy

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that came over and said,[br]"I want to volunteer."

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So one Sunday, he is volunteering.

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He is serving a table,[br]and the guest at the table says,

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"Oh so, how does this work?[br]You trust me to pay what I want?"

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He says, "Yeah, it's this chain,[br]and you're part of this chain."

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Really we are all part of this chain,

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from our ancestor onwards.

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So he says, "OK," he takes out his wallet,[br]gives him a hundred, and says,

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"OK, well, I trust you to bring me back[br]whatever change you want."

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(Laughter)

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And this guy goes in the back[br]and he's scratching his head.

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"This wasn't part[br]of the volunteer orientation!"

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(Laughter)

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What are you going to do?

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So, he is thinking about it.

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And then, he decides to tap into[br]that space in himself about what this is.

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This was not taught,[br]but he taps into that space,

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he goes up to the guy,[br]gives him back his hundred,

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takes out a twenty from his wallet,[br]adds to it,

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and this guy is completely blown away.

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(Laughter)

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Because he's blown away,

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this guy is blown away[br]and you know how this stuff ripples out.

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Everybody is energized.

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And you can look at that transaction[br]and say,

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"There was a cost of food,[br]there was twenty bucks."

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But the value generated there --

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I can guaranteed you[br]that that guy went home

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and he has been telling that story[br]to everybody he encounters.

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Because this is like, "Which restaurant?[br]Where does this happen?

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Which place on Earth?[br]Give me the address."

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So it's the kind of thing[br]where there's a new dimension of value.

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And if we don't have context[br]where people can practice this,

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we lose this entirely.

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So, really I just want to conclude[br]by saying,

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you Give, Receive and Dance.

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When you give, you find[br]that compassion is contagious

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and you start to create a community.

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When you receive,[br]and really learn to receive,

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you start to discover abundance.

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And when you dance, not only[br]do you create micro-gift economies,

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but we start to seed a gift culture.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)