[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.28,0:00:05.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would like to talk to you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.48,0:00:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the sausage principle
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.13,0:00:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the theory that says if you love something,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.38,0:00:12.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never find out how it was made.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.11,0:00:15.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, tonight, I would like to show you my sausage.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.35,0:00:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wait, wait, wait, wait...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.10,0:00:22.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my sausage:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.77,0:00:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 2014 Fifa World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.75,0:00:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh My God!!!!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.15,0:00:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok, the World Cup starts this week
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.41,0:00:34.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I am both excited and extremely conflicted about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.28,0:00:35.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I know, in America,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.98,0:00:38.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soccer is something you pick your ten year old daughter up from.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.93,0:00:42.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but...but for me and everyone else on earth
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.17,0:00:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a little more important.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.12,0:00:47.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soccer had become Brazil's religion.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.34,0:00:50.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Colombia, soccer was a religion.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.80,0:00:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Football is a religion here
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.18,0:00:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soccer, or Football like we say,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.20,0:00:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a religion.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.69,0:00:58.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, and they're not exaggerating.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.70,0:01:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When David Beckham got a tatoo of Jesus,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.30,0:01:03.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the response of most soccer fans was,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.01,0:01:05.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's huge for Jesus.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.36,0:01:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...that's a big deal for him.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.00,0:01:12.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's my conflict:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.53,0:01:14.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The World Cup is one of my favorite things
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.87,0:01:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's organized by these guys: FIFA
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.87,0:01:20.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You either know it as the
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.78,0:01:24.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fédération Internationale de Football Association.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.11,0:01:28.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or, that soccer video game you have.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.27,0:01:30.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for Americans viewers who may never
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.73,0:01:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have encountered them,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.80,0:01:34.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA is a comically grotesque organization.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.87,0:01:37.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, telling someone about the inner workings of FIFA
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.96,0:01:39.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the first time, is a bit like
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.49,0:01:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showing someone "two girls one cup"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.56,0:01:44.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You do it mainly so you can watch the
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.13,0:01:46.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,horrified expression on people's faces.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.45,0:01:50.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because let's start where FIFA is current World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.12,0:01:51.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is about to take place.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.71,0:01:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brazil. Brazilians are excited about everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.70,0:01:57.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is how they celebrate
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.69,0:02:00.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the fact that it's just about to be Lent.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.73,0:02:05.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They love the concept of giving up chocolate temporarily.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.40,0:02:08.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're also the biggest soccer fans on earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.76,0:02:10.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they must be thrilled
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.11,0:02:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the prospect of hosting the World Cup.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.21,0:02:15.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's been months of unrest in some of the city's favelas
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.57,0:02:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or slums with clashes between police and residents.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.03,0:02:22.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here people demonstrated against Brazil holding
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.50,0:02:23.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.61,0:02:24.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That makes no sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.70,0:02:26.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why would you be unhappy hosting
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.51,0:02:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the thing that you love the most in all the world?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.93,0:02:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The government has spent more
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.28,0:02:33.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than eleven billion dollars getting ready.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.34,0:02:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The United States team will play its
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.06,0:02:37.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,second game here in the city of Manaus.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.15,0:02:41.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this brand new $270 million dollar stadium.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.80,0:02:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manaus is so remote that it's almost impossible
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.72,0:02:46.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to reach by car.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.12,0:02:47.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is why officials had to have
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.100,0:02:50.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the stadium materials brought in by boat.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.46,0:02:52.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shipped across the Atlantic from Portugal
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.75,0:02:54.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and up the Amazon River.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.35,0:02:57.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, that does seem like a waste of money
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.07,0:02:59.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially when you consider that that stadium
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.62,0:03:02.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is only going to be used for four World Cup games.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.41,0:03:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also no team in Manaus that can fill it afterwards,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.76,0:03:07.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at which point it becomes the world's
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.97,0:03:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most expensive bird toilet
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.94,0:03:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No wonder brazilians are so upset,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.26,0:03:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially when you think about what they are actually
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.43,0:03:17.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting in return.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.02,0:03:20.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, and they're going to make money as well...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.21,0:03:22.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well actually, FIFA makes the money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.90,0:03:24.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is where the controversy is.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.11,0:03:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The country usually doesn't make money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.32,0:03:28.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA, the organization of the World Cup,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.55,0:03:29.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is who makes the money.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.90,0:03:32.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brazil, let me put this in terms you might understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.57,0:03:36.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think of money as pubic hair and FIFA as wax.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.85,0:03:40.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, they're going to be all over you during the World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.43,0:03:43.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but when they go, they're taking all the money with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.90,0:03:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Including some from places
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.44,0:03:48.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you didn't even know you had any money,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.41,0:03:50.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leaving you teary-eyed going,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.24,0:03:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Jesus, what happened here."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.99,0:03:54.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What, what happened!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.08,0:03:56.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm never doing this again.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.62,0:03:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because here are FIFA's tax demands
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.55,0:04:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for prospective host countries.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.24,0:04:03.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is FIFA and its FIFA subsidiaries that are
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.91,0:04:07.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fully exempt from any tax whatsoever levied
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.27,0:04:08.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at whatever level.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.77,0:04:12.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,State level, municipality level, all sorts of taxes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.15,0:04:14.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Consumption taxes, income taxes,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.28,0:04:16.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you name it, it's all exempt.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.08,0:04:18.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right, by Brazil's own estimate,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.80,0:04:23.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're allowing FIFA to forego $250 million dollars in taxes
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.22,0:04:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somewhere, Wesley Snipes is going:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.50,0:04:28.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So soccer was the answer!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.14,0:04:32.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, God, it seems so obvious now"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.79,0:04:35.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now FIFA says they leave a lot behind.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.17,0:04:37.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which they do, like, new laws
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.33,0:04:40.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you see once upon a time Brazil did this:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.97,0:04:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 2003, the Brazilian government banned alcohol
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.54,0:04:47.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from stadiums because of the enormously high
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.10,0:04:49.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,death rate amongst fans.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.34,0:04:51.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well that seems like a good idea!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.15,0:04:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Potentially life saving even!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.73,0:04:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only problem is, Budweiser,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.78,0:04:57.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is one of FIFA's key sponsors.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.59,0:04:58.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they sell a product
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.74,0:05:01.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they reflexively insist on calling: beer.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.32,0:05:06.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and FIFA seemed anxious to protect Budweiser
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.33,0:05:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from a law designed to protect people.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.64,0:05:11.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is why the FIFA secretary general went to Brazil
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.50,0:05:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a simple message:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.75,0:05:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm sorry to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.17,0:05:16.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and maybe I look a bit arrogant, but that's something
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.86,0:05:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we will not negotiate. I mean there will be,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.96,0:05:22.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there must be, as part of the law, the fact that we
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.87,0:05:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have the right to sell beer.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.56,0:05:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes uh, maybe I look a bit arrogant but, uh,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.71,0:05:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how you say, uh, fuck your laws and your public safety.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.46,0:05:36.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.42,0:05:39.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the amazing thing is here, FIFA won.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.38,0:05:42.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They successfully pressured Brazil into passing
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.10,0:05:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a so called "Budweiser Bill," allowing beer sales in soccer stadiums.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.95,0:05:49.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at this point you can either be horrified by that
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.22,0:05:51.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or relieved that FIFA wasn't also
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.29,0:05:54.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sponsored by cocaine and chainsaws.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.95,0:05:58.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Brazil, Brazil is lucky.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.84,0:06:00.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brazil's lucky, at least they
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.70,0:06:03.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just had FIFA force alcohol on them.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.06,0:06:05.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When South Africa hosted the world cup four years ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.85,0:06:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA forced the creation of the FIFA World Cup Courts
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.50,0:06:11.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which sound funny, you know it's like
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.70,0:06:12.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to the World Series and being
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.86,0:06:15.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dragged in front of judge Philly Phanatic.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.24,0:06:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except, FIFAs courts were no joke.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.47,0:06:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two Zimbabweans who robbed foreign journalists
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.18,0:06:24.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a Wednesday. Were arrested on a Thursday.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.71,0:06:28.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And began fifteen year jail sentences the next day.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.57,0:06:31.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is unsettlingly fast.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.68,0:06:33.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like when you order chinese food
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.73,0:06:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it comes five minutes later.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.36,0:06:38.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Uh, thanks very much but that was too quick!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.84,0:06:42.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You didn't have time to make this properly"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.23,0:06:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there is a certain irony in FIFA setting up any
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.01,0:06:49.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kind of justice system given the scandals
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.37,0:06:51.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that have dogged it over the years.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.91,0:06:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Football's governing body has tried to tackle its
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.27,0:06:57.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shady inner workings by suspending two executives
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.44,0:06:58.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on corruption charges
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.87,0:07:00.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The FIFA scandal rumbles on.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.48,0:07:03.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jack Warner, who was at the center of bribery accusations
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.68,0:07:05.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has resigned as Vice-President.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.35,0:07:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There've been so many corruption scandals that
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.52,0:07:08.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA have had to deal with
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.52,0:07:11.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bribery and FIFA go together like peanut butter and jelly."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.36,0:07:15.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, but they shouldn't though.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.09,0:07:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Peanut butter and jelly are supposed
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.84,0:07:17.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to go together.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.85,0:07:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fifa and bribery should go together like
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.94,0:07:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,peanut butter and a child with a deadly nut alergy.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.14,0:07:24.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"NO, TREVOR, NO! "
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.70,0:07:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's for your brother!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.75,0:07:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you think FIFA can't get any more
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.28,0:07:32.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cartoonishly evil.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.98,0:07:36.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is their headquarter's actual boardroom.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.86,0:07:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right, FIFA apparenty modeled
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.42,0:07:41.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they meet on the war room from
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.47,0:07:43.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Doctor Strange Love"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.64,0:07:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is exhibit A for an organization that does
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.70,0:07:49.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not give a shit what you think about them.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.11,0:07:53.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet, the head of FIFA maintains that they are merely
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.08,0:07:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a humble non-profit organization.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.78,0:07:58.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We are a non-profit organization.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.47,0:08:01.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we have to remain a non-profit organization."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.15,0:08:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"A non-profit with over a billion dollars in the bank?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.34,0:08:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah but it is a reserve."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.24,0:08:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A reserve?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.72,0:08:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A reserve of a billion dollars?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.94,0:08:13.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When your rainy day fund is so big
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.35,0:08:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've got to check it for swimming cartoon ducks,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.67,0:08:20.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you might not be a non-profit anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.54,0:08:25.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That by the way...that man, the man you just saw
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.29,0:08:27.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is Sepp Blatter and even his name
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.81,0:08:29.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,should have been a red flag.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.32,0:08:32.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.07,0:08:34.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've strangled someone in a bar fight.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.35,0:08:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's just a fact.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.83,0:08:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let me just give you a taste of Sepp Blatter
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.39,0:08:40.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a human being.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.74,0:08:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Recently he was asked how should women's soccer
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.74,0:08:44.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be made more popular?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.91,0:08:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said: "Well, they should wear shorter shorts."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.63,0:08:51.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Great idea, put the ladies in hot pants,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.15,0:08:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,call it "Foxy Soccer," and uh, while your at it,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.92,0:08:55.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tighten up the jerseys,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.10,0:08:56.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe replace the ball with a plate of hot wings,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.85,0:09:00.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and --Fuck it, let's just open a hooters.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.24,0:09:06.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,FIFA. FIFA, the humble non-profit
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.74,0:09:09.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even recently spent $27 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.64,0:09:11.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to fun "United Passions,"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.79,0:09:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a fictionalized version of their history
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.13,0:09:17.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,starring, for some reason, Tim Roth as Sepp Blatter.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.97,0:09:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this movie, like FIFA itself, looks terrible.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.05,0:09:23.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We'll be...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.96,0:09:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Fédération Internationale de Football Association. FIFA
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.58,0:09:33.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first World Cup will be held in, Uruguay.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.90,0:09:36.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have everything you need to run our family,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.24,0:09:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you know, the slightest error, and you're out."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.66,0:09:44.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who makes a sports film where the heroes
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.20,0:09:45.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are the executives?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.43,0:09:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the crazy thing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.42,0:09:50.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't need two hours and Tim Roth.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.95,0:09:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the greatest film about Sepp Blatter
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.92,0:09:54.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has already been made.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.32,0:09:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's ten seconds long,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.78,0:09:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's on YouTube.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.07,0:10:10.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is. Wonderfully, that is the one time
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.70,0:10:12.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can genuinely say:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.15,0:10:15.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm glad that old man fell off that stage."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.46,0:10:19.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But perhaps the worst part of FIFA is not even it's past
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.05,0:10:21.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or its present. It's its future.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.11,0:10:23.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the host of the 2022 World Cup
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.100,0:10:25.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has already been decided.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.17,0:10:34.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The winner, to organize the 2022 FIFA world cup is: Qatar"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.18,0:10:37.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Qatar?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.74,0:10:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's between one and fifty reasons
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.06,0:10:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why that is an awful idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.66,0:10:44.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Summer temperatures in Qatar can reach
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.40,0:10:46.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some 50 degrees Celsius.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.45,0:10:49.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A difficult environment to hold a professional sporting
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.26,0:10:50.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,event outdoors.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.77,0:10:55.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,50 degrees Celsius is 122 degrees Fahrenheit.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.95,0:10:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are hosting the World Cup somewhere where
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.84,0:11:00.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,soccer cannot physically be played.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.29,0:11:05.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like if the NFL chose to host the Superbowl in a lake.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.21,0:11:08.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, there are now allegations that some FIFA executives
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.84,0:11:11.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,took bribes to put the World Cup in Qatar
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.06,0:11:13.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I hope that's true because otherwise,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.90,0:11:16.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it makes literally no sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.54,0:11:18.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...and not just because of the weather,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.20,0:11:20.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but because of the working conditions.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.08,0:11:23.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Qatar is a slave state in the 21st century.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.89,0:11:28.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A migrant worker can't leave the country without an exit visa.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.10,0:11:31.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That visa has to be approved by his employer.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.55,0:11:33.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who has your passport?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.58,0:11:36.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you're trapped here?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.50,0:11:39.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've got coffins coming home every day
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.49,0:11:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More than a worker per day on average, is dying.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.55,0:11:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Conservatively, from the figures of just two countries,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.61,0:11:52.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,India and Nepal, more than 4,000 workers will die
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.48,0:11:55.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before a ball is kicked off in 2022.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.78,0:11:58.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what you're essentially saying is...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.67,0:12:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Qatar World Cup is shaping up to be the most deadly
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.64,0:12:05.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,middle-east construction project since this one.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.14,0:12:08.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And by this point, I hope I've proven to you
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.22,0:12:10.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that FIFA is just appalling.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.64,0:12:13.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet, here's their power:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.73,0:12:18.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am still so excited about the World Cup next week!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.29,0:12:22.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's very hard to justify how I can get so much joy
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.26,0:12:24.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from an organization that's caused so much pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.59,0:12:27.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other than going back to right where we started.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.64,0:12:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Soccer, or Football, like we say, it's a religion."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.10,0:12:34.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not just that.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.30,0:12:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an organized religion,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.10,0:12:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and FIFA is it's church.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.62,0:12:39.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.66,0:12:41.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's leader is infallible,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.36,0:12:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It compels South American countries to spend money
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.86,0:12:46.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they don't have building opulent Cathedrals,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.77,0:12:48.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it may ultimately be responsible for the deaths
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.91,0:12:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of shocking numbers of people in the Middle East.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.32,0:12:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But...but...but...but for millions of people, around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.12,0:13:02.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like me, it is also the guardian of the only thing that
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.59,0:13:04.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gives their lives any meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.99,0:13:08.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if that comparison does not make Americans
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.43,0:13:10.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love soccer, then frankly nothing will.