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So I've been thinking about the difference between

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the résumé virtues and 
the eulogy virtues.

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The résumé virtues are the
ones you put on your résumé,

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which are the skills 
you bring to the marketplace.

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The eulogy virtues are the ones

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that get mentioned in the eulogy,

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which are deeper: who are you, 
in your depth,

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what is the nature of your relationships,

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are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency?

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And most of us, including 
me, would say

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that the eulogy virtues are the
more important of the virtues.

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But at least in my case, 
are they the ones that

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I think about the most? 
And the answer is no.

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So I've been thinking about that problem,

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and a thinker who has 
helped me think about it

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is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi

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who wrote a book called "The
Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.

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Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures,

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which he called Adam I
and Adam II.

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Adam I is the worldly, ambitious,

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external side of our nature.

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He wants to build, create,
create companies,

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create innovation.

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Adam II is the humble
side of our nature.

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Adam II wants not only 
to do good but to be good,

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to live in a way internally

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that honors God, creation and our possibilities.

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Adam I wants to conquer the world.

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Adam II wants to hear 
a calling and obey the world.

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Adam I savors accomplishment.

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Adam II savors inner 
consistency and strength.

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Adam I asks how things work.

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Adam II asks why we're here.

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Adam I's motto is "success."

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Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return."

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And Soloveitchik argued 
that these two sides

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of our nature are 
at war with each other.

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We live in perpetual self-confrontation

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between the external success and the internal value.

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And the tricky thing, 
I'd say, about these

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two sides of our nature is they work

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by different logics.

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The external logic is 
an economic logic:

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input leads to output, 
risk leads to reward.

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The internal side of our nature

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is a moral logic and 
often an inverse logic.

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You have to give to receive.

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You have to surrender 
to something outside yourself

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to gain strength within yourself.

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You have to conquer the
desire to get what you want.

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In order to fulfill yourself,
you have to forget yourself.

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In order to find yourself, 
you have to lose yourself.

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We happen to live in a society 
that favors Adam I,

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and often neglects Adam II.

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And the problem is, that turns
you into a shrewd animal

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who treats life as a game,

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and you become a cold, 
calculating creature

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who slips into a sort of mediocrity

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where you realize there's a difference

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between your desired 
self and your actual self.

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You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want,

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you hope someone will give to you.

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You don't have the 
depth of conviction.

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You don't have an emotional sonorousness.

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You don't have 
commitment to tasks

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that would take more than a lifetime to commit.

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I was reminded of a common
response through history

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of how you build a solid Adam II,

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how you build a depth of character.

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Through history, people 
have gone back

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into their own pasts,

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sometimes to a precious 
time in their life,

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to their childhood,

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and often, the mind 
gravitates in the past

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to a moment of shame,

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some sin committed, 
some act of selfishness,

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an act of omission, of shallowness,

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the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity,

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trying to be a people-pleaser, 
a lack of courage.

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Adam I is built by 
building on your strengths.

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Adam II is built by fighting 
your weaknesses.

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You go into yourself, 
you find the sin

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which you've committed over
and again through your life,

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your signature sin

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out of which the others emerge,

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and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin,

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and out of that wrestling, 
that suffering,

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then a depth of character is constructed.

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And we're often not
taught to recognize

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the sin in ourselves,

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in that we're not taught in this culture

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how to wrestle with it,

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how to confront it, 
and how to combat it.

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We live in a culture 
with an Adam I mentality

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where we're inarticulate 
about Adam II.

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Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr

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summed up the confrontation, the fully lived

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Adam I and Adam II life, this way:

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"Nothing that is worth doing
can be achieved in our lifetime;

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therefore we must 
be saved by hope.

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Nothing which is true or
beautiful or good makes

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complete sense in any immediate context of history;

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therefore we must be saved by faith.

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Nothing we do, however virtuous,
can be accomplished alone;

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therefore we must 
be saved by love.

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No virtuous act is quite as virtuous

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from the standpoint of our friend
or foe as from our own standpoint.

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Therefore we must be saved 
by that final form of love,

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which is forgiveness.”

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Thanks.

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(Applause)