0:00:00.885,0:00:02.407
So I've been thinking about the difference between

0:00:02.407,0:00:05.541
the résumé virtues and [br]the eulogy virtues.

0:00:05.541,0:00:08.443
The résumé virtues are the[br]ones you put on your résumé,

0:00:08.443,0:00:11.909
which are the skills [br]you bring to the marketplace.

0:00:11.909,0:00:13.647
The eulogy virtues are the ones

0:00:13.647,0:00:15.129
that get mentioned in the eulogy,

0:00:15.129,0:00:18.067
which are deeper: who are you, [br]in your depth,

0:00:18.067,0:00:19.843
what is the nature of your relationships,

0:00:19.843,0:00:23.407
are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency?

0:00:23.407,0:00:24.901
And most of us, including [br]me, would say

0:00:24.901,0:00:28.117
that the eulogy virtues are the[br]more important of the virtues.

0:00:28.127,0:00:30.200
But at least in my case, [br]are they the ones that

0:00:30.200,0:00:33.002
I think about the most? [br]And the answer is no.

0:00:33.002,0:00:35.295
So I've been thinking about that problem,

0:00:35.295,0:00:36.463
and a thinker who has [br]helped me think about it

0:00:36.463,0:00:38.076
is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi

0:00:38.076,0:00:41.446
who wrote a book called "The[br]Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.

0:00:41.446,0:00:44.766
Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures,

0:00:44.766,0:00:47.156
which he called Adam I[br]and Adam II.

0:00:47.156,0:00:48.888
Adam I is the worldly, ambitious,

0:00:48.888,0:00:51.111
external side of our nature.

0:00:51.111,0:00:53.184
He wants to build, create,[br]create companies,

0:00:53.184,0:00:54.730
create innovation.

0:00:54.730,0:00:57.468
Adam II is the humble[br]side of our nature.

0:00:57.468,0:01:00.285
Adam II wants not only [br]to do good but to be good,

0:01:00.285,0:01:02.232
to live in a way internally

0:01:02.232,0:01:06.035
that honors God, creation and our possibilities.

0:01:06.035,0:01:07.923
Adam I wants to conquer the world.

0:01:07.923,0:01:10.687
Adam II wants to hear [br]a calling and obey the world.

0:01:10.687,0:01:13.175
Adam I savors accomplishment.

0:01:13.175,0:01:15.857
Adam II savors inner [br]consistency and strength.

0:01:15.857,0:01:18.600
Adam I asks how things work.

0:01:18.600,0:01:20.918
Adam II asks why we're here.

0:01:20.918,0:01:23.022
Adam I's motto is "success."

0:01:23.022,0:01:27.268
Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return."

0:01:27.268,0:01:29.118
And Soloveitchik argued [br]that these two sides

0:01:29.118,0:01:31.766
of our nature are [br]at war with each other.

0:01:31.766,0:01:33.830
We live in perpetual self-confrontation

0:01:33.830,0:01:37.094
between the external success and the internal value.

0:01:37.094,0:01:39.578
And the tricky thing, [br]I'd say, about these

0:01:39.578,0:01:41.270
two sides of our nature is they work

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by different logics.

0:01:43.680,0:01:45.914
The external logic is [br]an economic logic:

0:01:45.914,0:01:49.380
input leads to output, [br]risk leads to reward.

0:01:49.380,0:01:51.156
The internal side of our nature

0:01:51.156,0:01:54.577
is a moral logic and [br]often an inverse logic.

0:01:54.577,0:01:56.451
You have to give to receive.

0:01:56.451,0:01:58.167
You have to surrender [br]to something outside yourself

0:01:58.167,0:02:00.449
to gain strength within yourself.

0:02:00.449,0:02:02.770
You have to conquer the[br]desire to get what you want.

0:02:02.770,0:02:05.561
In order to fulfill yourself,[br]you have to forget yourself.

0:02:05.561,0:02:09.873
In order to find yourself, [br]you have to lose yourself.

0:02:09.873,0:02:12.809
We happen to live in a society [br]that favors Adam I,

0:02:12.809,0:02:15.049
and often neglects Adam II.

0:02:15.049,0:02:18.281
And the problem is, that turns[br]you into a shrewd animal

0:02:18.281,0:02:19.838
who treats life as a game,

0:02:19.838,0:02:22.563
and you become a cold, [br]calculating creature

0:02:22.563,0:02:25.369
who slips into a sort of mediocrity

0:02:25.369,0:02:26.829
where you realize there's a difference

0:02:26.829,0:02:29.401
between your desired [br]self and your actual self.

0:02:29.401,0:02:33.374
You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want,

0:02:33.374,0:02:34.934
you hope someone will give to you.

0:02:34.934,0:02:36.660
You don't have the [br]depth of conviction.

0:02:36.660,0:02:39.197
You don't have an emotional sonorousness.

0:02:39.197,0:02:40.966
You don't have [br]commitment to tasks

0:02:40.966,0:02:44.180
that would take more than a lifetime to commit.

0:02:44.180,0:02:47.627
I was reminded of a common[br]response through history

0:02:47.627,0:02:50.389
of how you build a solid Adam II,

0:02:50.389,0:02:52.399
how you build a depth of character.

0:02:52.399,0:02:55.124
Through history, people [br]have gone back

0:02:55.124,0:02:57.010
into their own pasts,

0:02:57.010,0:02:59.260
sometimes to a precious [br]time in their life,

0:02:59.260,0:03:00.719
to their childhood,

0:03:00.719,0:03:04.685
and often, the mind [br]gravitates in the past

0:03:04.685,0:03:06.073
to a moment of shame,

0:03:06.073,0:03:09.000
some sin committed, [br]some act of selfishness,

0:03:09.000,0:03:11.290
an act of omission, of shallowness,

0:03:11.290,0:03:14.033
the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity,

0:03:14.033,0:03:17.618
trying to be a people-pleaser, [br]a lack of courage.

0:03:17.618,0:03:22.313
Adam I is built by [br]building on your strengths.

0:03:22.313,0:03:26.409
Adam II is built by fighting [br]your weaknesses.

0:03:26.409,0:03:29.267
You go into yourself, [br]you find the sin

0:03:29.267,0:03:30.939
which you've committed over[br]and again through your life,

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your signature sin

0:03:32.740,0:03:35.431
out of which the others emerge,

0:03:35.431,0:03:38.295
and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin,

0:03:38.295,0:03:41.431
and out of that wrestling, [br]that suffering,

0:03:41.431,0:03:45.049
then a depth of character is constructed.

0:03:45.049,0:03:46.951
And we're often not[br]taught to recognize

0:03:46.951,0:03:48.087
the sin in ourselves,

0:03:48.087,0:03:49.935
in that we're not taught in this culture

0:03:49.935,0:03:51.882
how to wrestle with it,

0:03:51.882,0:03:54.555
how to confront it, [br]and how to combat it.

0:03:54.555,0:03:57.885
We live in a culture [br]with an Adam I mentality

0:03:57.885,0:04:01.054
where we're inarticulate [br]about Adam II.

0:04:01.054,0:04:02.710
Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr

0:04:02.710,0:04:04.845
summed up the confrontation, the fully lived

0:04:04.845,0:04:08.398
Adam I and Adam II life, this way:

0:04:08.398,0:04:11.660
"Nothing that is worth doing[br]can be achieved in our lifetime;

0:04:11.660,0:04:14.042
therefore we must [br]be saved by hope.

0:04:14.042,0:04:17.148
Nothing which is true or[br]beautiful or good makes

0:04:17.148,0:04:20.104
complete sense in any immediate context of history;

0:04:20.104,0:04:22.782
therefore we must be saved by faith.

0:04:22.782,0:04:26.672
Nothing we do, however virtuous,[br]can be accomplished alone;

0:04:26.672,0:04:29.718
therefore we must [br]be saved by love.

0:04:29.718,0:04:32.155
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous

0:04:32.155,0:04:36.141
from the standpoint of our friend[br]or foe as from our own standpoint.

0:04:36.141,0:04:38.968
Therefore we must be saved [br]by that final form of love,

0:04:38.968,0:04:40.604
which is forgiveness.”

0:04:40.604,0:04:42.680
Thanks.

0:04:42.680,0:04:44.398
(Applause)